It's not much, but it's still better than nothing... i suppose.
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50. A chance to set things right part 1
It was a lazy and typical Saturday for the Kurosakis. The downstairs was filled with the flavor of the Yuzu's breakfast, the TV was set mostly on sports channels that Karin was watching and somewhere between those two Isshin was trying to blend in with his always the same little nothings chats. It was a relaxed atmosphere that only a week-end could bring . Or at least they were all trying to pretend in that way.
"Well... breakfast is ready." Yuzu suddenly said with a gasp.
Karin raised her head above the couch, while Isshin began to stare at the four breakfast sets.
"So, who is going to get him?" Yuzu added.
No one reacted, but of course everybody knew that Yuzu was referring to Ichigo.
"Yuzu, you go. He likes you more..." Karin suddenly said.
"You know that is not true." her sister scolded.
"Alright, but even so, among us, you're the one with more tact."
"I wouldn't say so. He refused me every time i went to him the whole week. Dad, you go!"
But Isshin's eyes suddenly widened with a horrified expression.
The scenario has been repeating over and over during the last month. No one could get close to Ichigo anymore. He had locked himself in his room, getting out only so he could to visit Urahara and get news about the Prisoner's escape situation. Yet there were no news for him since there was no longer need for him as a shinigami. 'This matter is overwhelming even for us. Therefore we will contact you when everything will be clearer so we would know exactly how you can help us' Seireitei wrote to him. Moreover the prisoners apparently vanished as if something made them hide and wait for the right moment to attack.
As far as Isshin could notice, this was the last blow for Ichigo. He couldn't even tell what shake him harder: the back that Seireitei turned on him, or the so called treason of Rukia. He tried to talk to him about the whole situation and explain to him that Rukia wasn't that bad character she appeared to be. He didn't even want to listen. Not once he was tempted to tell him about the baby, but every time his lips opened he remembered the tore expression of Rukia when she forbidden him to say word.
All in all she had her part of rightness. If Ichigo didn't want her she couldn't stay with him just for the baby. But the real question was did Ichigo lost all his feelings for her?
As far as Isshin could judge it was impossible for feelings strong as love to disappear overnight. Therefore, more than hating her, Ichigo must be angry with her. Sooner or later things would clear out, but until then the best thing for him to not get involved, at least officially. From the shadow he was trying to help them as much as he could.
Firstly, he couldn't abandon Rukia, since her baby will be his first grandchild. It needed the best conditions, but was Rukia able to offer that? She could have had the best intentions, but she didn't have the ways to provide them. She might have spend some time in the past in the human world, but that wasn't enough for her to completely understand how it works. Therefore she was preparing to raise a child in a world she knew too little about. She didn't have any ability in human professions nor in dealing with everyday issues such as shopping in a supermarket Friday evening or trying to fit in a subway train during morning. With no profession at hand she wasn't able to provide money. With no money she couldn't afford a place to stay. Therefore she could deliver the baby in the street!
That thought terrified Isshin so much that he considered to take the matter in his hands. So he managed to get to Rukia, but secretly so that Ichigo wouldn't find out. This way he discovered that she established herself in Tokyo and that she ran out of money during the first week. The next day he flew to Tokyo and help her to find a small apartment. He offered to pay the rent and she accepted under the condition to pay him back when she will find a job, even though both knew that this will take some time. Firstly because she was pregnant and secondly... because she needed time to actually learn how to be productive in the human world, a place where swords were outdated.
But all in all Rukia seemed alright, at least from the pragmatic point of view. Isshin was calling her every two days and her voice on the phone sounded composed. He noticed that the enthusiasm lacked, so he tried to mention more often the baby in their conversations, since that was the only thing that was softening her. Inexpertly, from a person for whom only the military duties mattered, Rukia was more than to be a mother. 'I suppose this made me discover that i'm a woman, after all...' she told him in one of their phone conversations. And after a silent pause she added with a small voice. 'In a way, i'm happy that it was Ichigo...'. Those last words touched profoundly Isshin, who wished to set things right between them. But they both knew that i wasn't up to him to do that.
"Well, i'm done! I'm going to prepare myself!" Yuzu suddenly said and Isshin raised his gaze in her direction realizing that he was sitting at the tabl having breakfast. Caught so deeply in his own thoughts, he didn't even realize when he finished his meal.
"And if Onii-chan doesn't want his pancakes, i suppose he will eat at the reception." Yuzu added.
"So be it!" Karin responded. "Come on, Yuzu. Let's go! It's getting late. I'll see you at the church, dad!"
"How come? We're not going together?" Isshin asked rather confused.
"I'm afraid not." Yuzu asked as she was cleaning the table. "Orihime called us last night and asked us to help her get dressed."
Isshin turned his gaze to the window, watching the silent street outside the house. With so much to worry about, he almost forgot that his former 'almost daughter' was getting married this afternoon. For a slight moment he stepped out of the festive atmosphere and thought that if chances had been different, right know he would have joined a different kind of wedding. White always suited Rukia. She could have wore her own bankai at the wedding...
And that thought made him smile and look like an old man lost among memories and dreams that were never meant to be.
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But Ichigo... He also had a lot on his mind.
Up to few a months ago, everything seemed to still make sense. He had finished his studies at a well considered university. He had a loving and gorgeous girlfriend waiting for him at home, a wonderful career ahead and beautiful children on the way. No more monsters, no more zanpakutos, no more spirits... No more Rukia. His life was back on a normal track. Maybe sometimes it appeared to be boring, but after all the routine was part of most of human's life... and more than everything, he was a human. No matter what his parents were, no matter what he did in the past, he was a human made of flesh, bones and the broken hearts of the one who protected him.
So then, why did it felt like he found the missing piece from the puzzle when Rukia came to visit him in Tokyo, at the party in the campus? Why did he hope to see her instead of Orihime waiting for him in his campus room? Why didn't he even consider Orihime's feeling's back then ?
He always wanted to be better person. Better than the one in childhood, better than the one in teenage years, better than the one of yesterday. He awfully failed. All that was left of him now, was guilt, frustration and the thought of no longer fitting anywhere. He couldn't go back being a shinigami, he couldn't go back being an engineer. He couldn't go back to Rukia nor to Orihime.
A sorrowful smile appeared on the corner of his lips. At least Orihime will be happy. Ishida will definitely make her happy. Maybe Ishida should have been in his place from the beginning since also from the beginning, he knew that he couldn't be by her side forever. Orihime was dear to him but he was never able to experience with her the goose bumps Rukia gave to him. So if there were one thing he regretted in his human life, was the his lack of honesty in front of Orihime. He knew how truthful were her feelings as he knew how shallow were his. Yet he wasn't able to come forth until the very end.
He didn't properly talk to her since they broke up and even back then he didn't gave her a proper and explanation . Moreover to properly apology. Caught in his own drama there was so little he learned about her. Was she lonely? Was she angry? Did she come to hate him? He even found out about her marriage from his sisters.
He knew that there was no way for him to get close to her anymore. Even so he had that inner duty on seeing her for the last time. He needed to make sure that she is and that she will be happy with the choice she made. He needed to formerly apologize and be certain of the fact that she no longer had remorse about the six years they spent together as a couple.
He got up from the bed and opened the door of his room. From the noise downstairs he presumed that his family was still having breakfast. He closed the door and then looked in the mirror. He wasn't shaved and his hair was more ruffled than ever. He knew he couldn't meet her like that and since he couldn't do anything about the hair, he at least he shaved and put on the suit Yuzu prepared for him. He knew he couldn't possibly look more then someone who was going to crash a party, so he didn't even bother with the tie. He just put his converse on and went to the back door , carefully exiting so that no one would notice him.
The distance was short, so he walked to her house. He knew he risked to put himself in an awkward situation if her husband to be would be there, but something told him that Ishida was too conservator to allow himself to see his bride before the ceremony. It would have brought bad lack and after all this drama this was the last thing he needed.
As he was getting closer and closer a strange feeling took over him. He noticed that there were years since he didn't take this road. Shortly after he went to college, Orihime couldn't bear the loneliness at her house and decided to move with his family. She was more than welcome and the old house was put on rent ever since. Yet she gave him a spare key. He never used it, but surprisingly, after all this time, he still held that key to the set of his owns. He stopped in front of the house and took a deep breath: 'Well, this will be the first and the last time' he told himself as he turned the key in the lock.
Inside there was nothing but silence. Nothing like a celebration atmosphere. Himself wasn't able to fake a smile. However he continued to her room. The door was half open... and there she was only in her negligee in front of the mirror, brushing her hair. She suddenly put the brush down and turned to his direction with the strangest mixture of sorrow and enthusiasm on her face.
If she had been dressed up he would have told her : 'You look so beautiful' , but she wasn't. in fact, she looked closer to the familiar image of the summer mornings they had spent together. So instead of praising her he would have said : 'It feels like back then' which obviously was impossible.
"Hi, Inoue..."
Before she could answer, her eyes widened as she realized she was only dressed in that satin negligee. She immediately started to flutter about the room in order to find a dressing-gown, but then she stopped as she realized how hypocrite her gesture was. Weren't they together for more than six years?
"Kurosaki-kun..." she whispered.
"So you're not ready yet? I was planning to give a ride to the church, but apparently you'll be late" he began with a cheerful voice.
She smiled shyly.
"Well, aren't all brides late?... Besides that i can't do this alone. Your sisters are about to come to help me. I'm waiting for them.
"Maybe i can help you until they come."
Her face turned all red for a moment, then she shook her head with a worried expression.
"Don't worry" he said as he took the brush and gently invited her to sit in front of the mirror. "I came to wish you all the happiness in the world."
She lowered her eyes, starring at her hands on the lap.
"All the happiness i couldn't give you" he added.
She turned to him.
"Forgive me, Inoue"
But she wasn't able to say anything.
"I should have set things right from the beginning, but i couldn't because... you see i enjoyed every moment spent together. So forgive me Inoue for being selfish and irresponsible"
Still she was speechless.
"I wish i could have the chance to set things right, but apparently someone else will do it for me and for that, i apologies as well. I know that Ishida will make you happy, and even though i never thought i would say this : today, i am ashamed for not being able to be in his place... for not being able to make you happy."
She gasped and a few moments of silence passed. Then she finally spoke:
"All these years, i wanted to tell you one thing, Ichigo... You see i was always undecided and i had my heads in the clouds. Because of that i was never certain of what i was expected from this life. Not seldom i thought that i needed five lives in order to live to the fullest..."
Here she took a break and smiled as a precious memory came back to her.
"If i had five lives i would have lived in five different placed, had five different jobs, five different type of food that i like, five different kind of friends...but i would have fallen in love with the same person."
Ichigo lowered his gaze.
"That's how i thought all this time... and that's because i strongly believed that you were the one for me. But recently something changed and i understood that you weren't. When i did, i was too afraid to let you go, thinking that i will lose you forever... This was my mistake, Ichigo and for that i have to apology, as well."
He raised his eyes surprised.
"I was stupid enough to think that if we weren't meant to be lovers, we weren't meant to be anything. I didn't know that if i lose that side of you, i could win another."
"Inoue... my friendship, you will always have it!"
"That's all i needed to know!" she said with tears in her eyes and got up from the chair to jump in his arms.
"But, please tell me one thing. Will you be happy with this marriage?"
"With Ishida, i discovered the feeling of belonging to someone... of being the one. It's something i won't give up to for nothing in this world."
Hearing those words, he held her stronger as if she was the most precious thing to him.
"But you know, Kurosaki-kun..." she added using again her old appellative. "I am not sure about your apology. After all, myself, i enjoyed those six years together, too. And remember, i was the one who asked you out, right?"
He laughed, still holding her strongly. It was the first time laughing in a month. The first time since she disappeared from his life.
"I'm so happy we had this talk." he confessed.
"Me too. I don't think i would have fully enjoyed my wedding if we didn't."
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Meanwhile, outside the house Yuzu and Karin already arrived and found the door unlocked. Curiously, they entered and heard snobs from Orihime's room. As they got closer they also found Ishida dressed in casual clothes, hiding against the wall, next to the open door. He was listening carefully to what was happening inside.
"What's going on here?" Karin asked, but Ishida immediately made her a sigh be quiet and showed her how Ichigo and Orihime were crying in each other's arms.
"Apparently, things are finally settling down" he whispered with a soft smile.
But Karin was looking at them with a regretful expression, while Yuzu was worried.
"Anyway, it's late" Ishida said cheerfully. "I'm going to get dressed. You two, please make my bride look her best."
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"To be honest..." Ichigo said a couple of hours later when Orihime was all dressed up like a princess and ready for the ceremony. "I always thought that you will end up with Ishida. That's why i was surprised when you confessed to me six years ago."
"That's a water under the bridge" Orihime answered while she and Yuzu were trying to adjust the folds of the dress.
"This time is already late, Ichi-nii go and start the engine of the car. We'll be down in a minute."
When finally everyone was ready, Orihime looked one more time in the mirror and then followed everyone to the car. But halfway she stopped and went back to room:
"What did you forget?" Karing asked.
"Oh, my! But it's bad luck to turn from your track on such a day!"
But Orihime didn't listen to any of them. She went to the bedside and as she opened a drawer she took out a pile of letters. On each there was Rukia's hand writing.
"I hope this will set things right." she whispered and she hid then in her little white purse.
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See you next time. Promise you the expected Ichi-Ruki moment.!
