Woohoo! 50th Story! *dances*


The pain didn't heal. Valkyries heart became cold and empty without her skeleton by her side. She stared down at the invitation to his funeral with glazed, soulless eyes.

It was a cold, bitter morning. The air was still as everyone filed into the church in silence. Valkyrie lagged behind, smoothing out her black dress Skulduggery had given to her all those years ago. It was a little too small for her now. Not that she cared. She sat at the back on her own, trying to pick out faces she knew. It was packed in the church. Skulduggery clearly had known many people in his life time. He didn't have many friends though, judging by the scowls on people's faces.

Eventually the vicar stepped forward, standing in front of the coffin.

'Dearly beloved,' he began solemnly. 'We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Skulduggery Christopher Pleasant.' He was a happy, faithful, honest man.'

Valkyrie sneered, but stayed silent.

'A loyal friend, a great detective, and a true, true gentleman.'

The service droned on at a snail's pace, Valkyrie re-writing everything the vicar said in her head. Eventually he allowed people to walk up to the coffin one by one to pay their respects.

Valkyrie stayed put.

The minutes ticked on, as everyone took themselves to their seats once again.

'We have paid our respects. We have shown our love, and now it is time to say goodbye to this honourable, honest, faithful-'

A fist burst through the coffins lid.

People screamed and dashed out of the church. The vicar jumped a mile backwards. Valkyrie gasped, as Skulduggery Pleasant sat up in his broken coffin. He jumped out.

'Firstly, I am not a gentleman; secondly, I am neither faithful, nor honourable.' He said coolly, walking towards the open-mouthed vicar. 'So get it right. Also, one of the worst funerals I have ever been to. I mean-how dull can you get? Where's the brass band? Where's the minute silence? Where are the French fancies!'

The vicar blinked at him. '...You're a skeleton.'

Skulduggery tilted his head at him. 'Are you just a...normal, mortal vicar?'

He nodded silently.

'Oh. Okay then.' The skeleton shrugged, turned, and then strolled down the aisle. 'Anyway, where's Valkyrie?'

Valkyrie slowly waved at him. 'H...hello.'

He looked at her. 'Ah.' He said quietly, and stood in front of her. 'Missed me?'

Valkyrie snarled and smacked him. 'How dare you!'

Skulduggery reeled back. 'Ow.'

'You died, I saw you, you were in my arms.'

'I was, wasn't I?' He looked at her up and down slowly. 'Your dress is a bit...short for a funeral.'

'Shut up.'

'No.'

'I hate you.'

'You really don't.'

'How come you're still alive?'

'I'm surprised you didn't notice. I wasn't shot.'

'Yes you were.'

'I wasn't. Rule one-?'

Valkyrie frowned slightly. '...The Doctor lies?'

'No.'

'Don't wander off?'

Skulduggery sighed. 'You watch too much Doctor Who. My rule one is "don't kill the corpse".'

'Oh, yeah.'

He turned to the few remaining guests. 'It's much harder for you to kill me than it is for me to kill you. That sanctuary official didn't shoot my back. He missed; the bullet went right through my rib-cage.'

'Then why-'

He looked back at Valkyrie. 'If I died, then the Sanctuary will stop looking for me, won't they?'

She let herself grin. 'You clever sod.'

'I know. If I died, then I could leave Ireland, run away and never be found.' He stepped closer towards her. 'And I want you to come with me.'

Valkyrie stared at him. 'What did you say?'

'Come with me. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain. Lord Vile and Darquess; running from the world.'

Valkyrie paused. 'In what way would we be together?'

Skulduggerys skull dipped. 'As friends, as colleagues, as lovers, as husband and wife. It's your choice.'

Valkyrie smiled at him. '...You and me? Just us?'

He nodded. 'What do you say?'

She bit her lip and shyly held his hand. 'You would do that for me?'

'Yes.'

She spun him round and pointed out of the door they were now facing. 'That way.'

He leaned closer towards her, looking straight ahead. 'Why that way? What's there?'

'I don't know.' She looked at him. 'Let's find out.'

If it was possible for Skulduggery to smile wider, he would have. They looked back at the remaining guests. 'Keep this quiet, won't you?'

The vicar nodded distantly.

They looked back at each other. 'Bentley?' Skulduggery said.

Valkyrie grinned. 'Bentley.'

Holding hands, they left the church. The guests slowly turned to the window, and watched them run.