Chapter 43: Belle Marie
Clara was determined not let her tiredness set in, no matter what. She was utterly convinced, no matter how much the Doctor tried to prove to her otherwise, that she was dreaming… any minute she'd wake up and she'd be alone in that place. After everything that had happened, she completely believed that she'd wake up alone, with him still nowhere to be seen.
The Doctor, gently stroking the side of her face with one hand and gripping her hands with his other, watched his wife as she tried to rest for a moment or two. Of course, just like any other concerned new mother, Clara was eager to go and find her baby but the Doctor had been adamant. He knew for a fact that with how tired she was, they wouldn't be able to make it out of the door before she collapsed.
Softly whispering words almost inaudibly to her but loud enough to be comforting, the Doctor smiled gently as she drifted in and out of consciousness. It amused him a little when she kept jolting herself awake but every time she did, it lasted only a second before her heavy eyelids ended up winning the battle.
Completely lost in watching Clara sleep, taking in all the details he used to take for granted: the soft sigh of her breathing, the light shades of her fragile skin, the colour and roundness of her moist lips, the Doctor failed to notice someone enter the room, that is, until the small figure appeared at his side.
Jolting in surprise but not enough to wake his exhausted wife, the Doctor slowly turned his head to see a woman dressed in blue, the one which he knew as Rutter, the one who he really wished he could have saved…
"That's good…" she whispered to him upon seeing Clara, "Least she's finally gettin' some rest. Bet ya she's completely cream-crackered."
The Doctor nodded, realising his internal Cockney translator must have been improving since he actually understood what she had said.
"Yeah…" he agreed extremely quietly, looking back down at Clara, "Yeah, bet ya that's true…"
Rutter, still noticeably smaller than the Doctor despite the fact he was sat on Clara's hospital-like bed, looked up at him, sensing he needed to talk… or at the very least needed to ask something.
"What's troublin' ya?" she queried.
The Doctor shook his head softly once their eyes met.
"Nothing…" he trailed off, "Just… the baby…"
"Ah…" realised Rutter, "Doctor, she needs to stay where she is… I thought I made that quite clear earlier."
"You did." confirmed the Doctor, "But what… what is actually… happening to her? I mean, she's just a baby…"
"Doctor…" sighed Rutter, "She's still developin', well, 'er brain is… And what we're doin'… 'er brain wouldn't 'ave been able to 'andle it if we had left it any later."
The Doctor nodded in understanding before turning back to look down at Clara.
"How long?" he asked, "How long will she have to be connected up to that thing?"
His voice seemed to betray him at the final word, his total disgust, not at the Agency or the procedure but at the fact he couldn't even hold his daughter, being released in a single moment.
Rutter sighed, almost sharing his pain. She knew just how much separating the child from her parents so soon would hurt them all and she had to constantly remind herself that it was for a better, and much bigger, cause.
"I'm not sure…" she began, "Maybe…"
"How long?" the Doctor interrupted, keeping his attention focused on Clara as he knew the answer, one he subconsciously already knew, was going to be rather painful.
"Two… three months…" she answered eventually, "Maybe longer."
The Doctor nodded slowly, his already rocky emotions threatening to allow his eyes to expel water once again.
"Can… can we stay here… with her?" he asked.
Before Rutter even had a chance to respond, Clara began to stir under his hands. Rutter, glad of the distraction, was more than happy when the Doctor's full attention focused on his waking wife.
"Hey…" he whispered with a soft smile, rubbing her forehead with his thumb, "Hello…"
"Doctor…" Clara smirked in a daze, seamlessly bopping his nose with her finger.
Laughing almost silently, the Doctor kissed the side of her face which acted almost as a stimulus, making Clara suddenly fully awaken. Almost as if a shot of caffeine had raced through her system, Clara tried to sit up much too quickly. Luckily, the Doctor had guessed her next action and held her down partly, stopping her before she did anything to hurt her still weak body.
Gradually pulling herself with the Doctor's assistance, Clara immediately looked around. The first thing noticed wasn't the coldness creeping up underneath her white gown or even the pain in her hip from the way she'd been lying, it was the absence of a child that she was desperate to see.
"Where…" she began, cut off by the man who made her feel the safest she could possibly feel in the entire universe.
"I told you she's okay…" he reminded her.
"For now." she repeated, recalling his words from earlier, "What d'ya mean by that exactly? What… what's wrong with my baby?"
"Oh, you heard that…" he whispered almost to himself.
"Of course I 'eard that!" she cried as if it was the most obvious thing he had ever said, "Where is she? What's wrong?"
"There ain't anythin' wrong." promised Rutter, saving the Doctor from his next failed attempt of reassurance, "In fact, I think its 'bout time ya see 'er, don't you?"
x-[]-x
Refusing any type of aid other than the Doctor, Clara slowly ended up making her way out of her prison. Seeing the Doctor walk with a mixture of determination, guilt and prior-knowledge, it didn't take her long to realise he knew exactly where he was going. That probably meant he knew where their baby was and that knowledge made her heavy heart a tiny bit lighter. At least her daughter had been seen by her father…
Upon reaching what she expected was the room, mostly since Rutter had stopped; Clara looked down at the woman, a deepening frown appearing on her face.
"Why… why ya stoppin'?" she quizzed.
Rutter looked up to the Doctor, who seemed to take the hint. By the time he looked down at his wife, she was already looking at him, her frown deeper than he had ever seen it before.
"What?" she enquired, deeply worried that something was wrong, "Doctor, please tell me what is goin' on."
The Doctor sighed, briefly looking down at his feet before back up at her.
"Clara, I need you to remember something." he began, mirroring Rutter's previous words to him.
"Just cut to it, Doctor!" Clara pleaded.
The Doctor nodded, motioned at the door with his head.
"What you're about to see in there…" he started.
"The baby…" Clara stated, her patience growing thin.
The Doctor nodded. "The baby." he confirmed, "But what… they're doing to her… you can't stop it… I need you to remember that… it's really, really important."
Clara's already fast-beating heart seemed to pick up its pace, frantically hammering away at her ribs after that warning, so fast that she swore that it would break them at a moments notice.
"What d'ya mean?" she interrogated, her head viciously snapping to look down at Rutter before back up at her husband, "What's goin' on? What are they doin' to 'er?!"
"Come on…" he whispered.
Gently being ushered through the doors, Clara's brain almost couldn't comprehend what she saw as soon as she was inside.
The room, probably about the same size as her previous cell-of-a-room, wasn't that bright, but she could see everything clearly enough. The room itself was separated by a wall with a large window, cutting it up into two smaller rooms. The half the three of them ended up stood in wasn't anything special, all it had were two doors either end of the glassed wall which led inside the lab-like room and another small, single door on the far right wall.
The reason Clara didn't really examine that part of the room was because all of her attention was focused on what was in the other. From what she could see, there was some sort of incubator in the lab, easily ten to fifteen times bigger than a standard human incubator back home. Massive technological machines plastered the far wall behind the incubator, all having masses of wires and other wire-like claws extended off them. They were all plugged into one thing in particular, not the incubator or anything similar, but the dot of a baby lying in the centre.
With the size of the monster machine in comparison to her, she looked lost underneath an unfriendly looking contraption. With a healthy pink skin, the colour Clara hoped she would be, Clara felt her legs almost give way beneath her as she looked over at her little girl. Something so small and precious… stuck inside that scary glass bubble.
"No, no, no, no, no…" Clara continuously repeated as she broke away from her husband's grip, stumbling over to the glass wall. With her hand pressed so hard against it that it turned yellow, Clara couldn't stop herself from crying, "Get 'er out… Get her out of there!"
The Doctor cautiously went over to her, knowing this reaction was always going to happen.
"Clara…" he began.
"GET HER OUT OF THERE!" she screamed, her violent tears flooding her face when she turned to look up at him, "How can ya be okay with this?! Why are ya just leavin' 'ere?!"
The Doctor could feel her emotions thickening the air in the room, all compressing into something he couldn't even begin to describe.
"Clara, don't you remember what I told you before we came in here?" he tried to remind her.
"I DON'T CARE!" she sobbed, "Just get 'er out… please… I need my baby…"
Clara's breathing began to become irregular at that point, the Doctor soon fearing she would begin to hyperventilate if she didn't calm down.
"Th-Those wires…" she stuttered, "Aren't-Aren't they hurtin' 'er…?"
The Doctor reached out for her trembling shoulders, his intention to pull her towards him in order to calm her down. However, Clara wasn't having that. With one moment, somehow her body managed to find enough energy to roughly pull away from him.
"Don't you dare touch me!" she snapped, her anger towards him building more and more by the second, "How… how can you be okay with this?! They're hurtin' her… and you're just lettin' them!"
"We're not 'urtin' 'er…" Rutter clarified.
"No…" Clara snapped cynically, "No, I'm sure millions of wires bein' stabbed into ya is completely pain-free!"
"Clara, this has to be done…" the Doctor explained, hurting not only from the knowledge of what was happening to his daughter but also how his wife was actually hating him at that point.
"Yeah?!" she shouted, "Who said?!"
"Me…" a voice answered from the single doorway which had opened without any of them realising.
Clara, whose back had been on that door, immediately turned around in response. When the figure who had spoken stepped into the light of the room, all three of their mouths dropped. Both Clara's and Rutter's were due to sheer surprise while the Doctor's was more out of concern.
"What are you doing here?!" he cried, "You of all people should know how dangerous being in this room is!"
Clara, not really listening to his husband's rant, just shook her head in disbelief.
"Bronwin…?" she whispered, "After all this time… 'ere, of all places, why 'ere?"
"Clara… Rutter." she acknowledged before just smiling and softly shrugging her shoulders at the Doctor.
"Bronwin…?" Rutter repeated, clearly confused by something unknown to the Doctor.
Bronwin nodded. "Yes." she answered softly, knowing full well why Rutter was confused, "Could ya please leave us alone Rutter?"
Rutter looked between the three of them before nodding and vacating via the double doors. Meanwhile, Clara was still struggling to believe what she was seeing.
"I don't understand…" she confessed, "What the… hell is goin' on?!"
"Hello Clara." Bronwin greeted quietly.
"Oh, sod the flamin' greetin's!" she snapped, "Tell me what is happenin'! Why are ya 'ere?!"
Bronwin sighed and looked over at the child among the sea of wires in the adjacent room.
"What 'ave ya named 'er?" Bronwin asked.
Clara, rather annoyed as that was completely changing the subject, couldn't literally stop herself from screaming with frustration.
"What 'as that got to do with anything?!" she screamed.
Bronwin, remaining incredibly calm in the Doctor's eyes, sighed and composed herself.
"Just… humour me." she insisted, "What 'ave ya called 'er?"
Clara, mentally pulling herself together, looked back over at her dot of a daughter.
"I… I 'aven't discussed it with the Doctor yet…" she admitted.
The Doctor, who had been looking at Bronwin, soon turned to look at his wife, the one still looking away from him and at their daughter in the incubator.
"Have you got an idea?" she asked, expecting her to say one particular name.
Clara nodded, finally bringing herself to look back at him once she wiped away her excess tears.
"Belle Marie." she answered, "Always… always Belle Marie."
The Doctor frowned, not at the fact that he disliked the name, in fact, he did rather like it, but it wasn't right…
Looking back over at Bronwin, he saw her smiling to herself almost as if an enormous weight had been lifted off her shoulders. That's when things began to click… Finally, after all that time, things were starting to make sense!
"Belle Marie?" he quizzed, getting his mysterious daughter to look over at him simply with those two words, "That… that's your name?"
Clara felt her stomach churn after that question, her eyes widening considerably as she looked between her husband and the woman still stood next to the door.
"W-What…?" she breathed out, barely managing anything other than that.
Shaking her head in a larger state of disbelief than every before, she felt her husband's strong hands come to her support just in the nick of time. Collapsing against his strong frame, Clara ran both her hands against her face, them both stopping underneath her chin as if she were praying.
Bronwin sighed then, smiling weaker than ever before.
"Hi, Mum…"
