Firstly, apologies for missing last week's update, I had a virus on my laptop (practice safe twitter people, don't click on random links from random people like a complete noob) and I've next to no time to sit down and write. Thank you for all the lovely reviews and the super special people who've waded through the whole thing from the beginning, you're amazing! I won't leave this hanging, but I on ly wan t you to get good stuff too. Thrown Away should get updated tomorrow or Wednesday.

So Monday... here!


Chapter Fifty-Two: The Night before the Fourth of July

The familiar door to Jim and Marks opened again. It was a pleasantly balmy night after a breezy summer's day. Pam had time to go home and change before a night of food and fun with the boys. She needed to soak the ice cream sundae out of her skirt anyway. Apparently Michael though that the third of July should be celebrated with an ice cream party as 'his family was abandoning him' for the Fourth of July. Kelly had given Phyllis, Meredith and herself impromptu lessons on how to eat ice cream seductively which and been much messier than she'd expected.

She couldn't help but think that Jim would have loved today. It had been fun but it could have been so much more with him there. It had been fun fending off comments from Angela about putting on weight and Dwight educating her on the risk of type-two diabetes if she chose the butterscotch topping over the banana chips. She chose the butterscotch. But it would have been so much more with him there.

"Hey Pam, come in, Jim's gonna be late, some people came back to look at an SUV and he thinks it could be a sale." Mark informed her as he showed her inside. He was wearing some particularly garish surfer shorts and a t-shirt advertising 'Quint's Fishing' which Pam got as a Jaws reference.

"Nice tee, Brody." She grinned when he nodded in appreciation that she'd gotten the reference but Jim had bought for him after losing a challenge involving Jim's boredom threshold. It wasn't great, she knew that from experience. "Here." She handed over a bottle of wine and a bag of six fancy bottles of beer from Europe. "Guess you get first pick."

"Ooh, think I'll go Austrian." He wiggled his fingers in the air in delight. Mark took her denim jacket and showed her through to the living room. Pam took her usual spot on the couch when it was the three of them. "Hey, um, you heard from Isobel?"

"Uh, no... should I?" Pam's insides clenched a little which was unpleasant considering her diet of ice cream and syrup for the last six hours. She and Mark had never really discussed what had happened after the Kiwi Problem and she wasn't eager to either. The room felt a little smaller than normal and she really wished Jim was here for the fiftieth time of the day.

"I bumped into her today." He ruffled his longer than usual curls anxiously but settled down, hiding it well. "Her dad's in town for Thanksgiving and they were having an argument outside the bookies. He went inside anyway and she was quite rightly upset."

Oh no. Poor Isobel. She said there was a chance her dad was going to visit for the holiday but she only ever knew at the last moment. Her dad had a habit of becoming very short on money at the last moment. He'd let her down yet again.

"Did you talk to her?" She asked cautiously, not knowing where she stood but sensing Mark wanted to talk about it with someone who knew Isobel.

"Yeah, I mean, I couldn't leave her like that. I couldn't talk long as I was meeting Sarah for coffee and that went... well, I'll get to that later." He half laughed like that was another story to tell.

She racked her brain for a moment. Sarah was the woman from the boxing club Mark had sort of been seeing casually. Pam hadn't heard much back from Jim but they'd been out a handful of times now and it appeared to be going well.

"So, how'd it go with Isobel?"

"I calmed her down a bit. We'd talked about her dad before so I kinda knew the dynamic. I told her that the battle was lost, he knew what he was doing and how much he hurt her and he did it anyway. I told her to go buy her mom some flowers or something, do something positive for the people in her life she cared for. I sugar coated it a little but that was the gist of it, we were talking for about ten minutes. She doesn't usually take orders, I expected her to march in there and drag him out but she said thanks and left."

"Wow, she listened and you were so nice. You didn't have to do that."

"I know but I think that maybe we could be friends, in time, when she's ready. If she's ever ready."

"Do you still like her?"

"I think," he paused, "I think I'm ready to move on."

Pam knew he'd caught her look of disappointment but she wasn't going to convince him to give her another chance. It wasn't her place. She still itched to get involved; they were doing so well before the whole Kiwi incident but she'd stay out of their business.

"Maybe with this Sarah? What's she like?"

"Ho-boy, yeah, she's great... she's in web development, a fitness fanatic, she's doing the New York Marathon, divorced... mother of one." He rubbed his hands nervously on his knees. She was getting a peek at all his nervous habits today and she wasn't surprised after his particular day.

"Single mom?"

"Yup. She told me today. Not sure what to make of it. I've never dated a single mom before and I probably wouldn't have gone out with her if I'd known beforehand but now I have I don't know if I want to stop seeing her. She's really nice, I like her."

"Ok, well how old is the kid?"

"Seven, a girl. Samantha." He sat forward and spoke efficiently, like they could solve this puzzle once they'd established all the facts. Pam was up for the challenge.

"How old is she?"

"Twenty-six. Six months older than me and like twenty years more mature."

"She's had to be." Being a mother would have given her little choice. "The father?"

"Involved but remarried."

"Why'd they divorce?"

"Married young, grew apart, better friends than husband and wife. Should I be worried about him?"

"No, nothing's raising any flags for me." Pam's phone vibrated. "Probably Jim."

Can you tell Mark my mom loved the flowers and chocolates so much she cried. Issyx

She hesitated but decided to share Isobel's text with Mark. "Um, Issy's mom loved the flowers and chocolates."

"Oh. Good." Pam saw the smile laced with doubt. "Glad to have been of service."

"Apparently she cried."

"Not surprised. My mom would be super stressed out in that position, she'd need a treat. They're the ones who've been there the whole time, you know. You can't change people."

"But people can change themselves. If they want to." She wondered if that reference to Isobel's counselling was a little too subtle or too obvious so she chastised herself regardless. She wouldn't push.

"Yeah... I guess."

The front door slammed and hollering came from the hallway. "Who just sold a twenty thousand dollar SUV? Oh yes! I did! That's who did, baby!" Jim held his arms triumphant as he walked into the room.

"Who's deodorant gave up like two hours ago? Oh yes! That's you, baby!" Mark jeered back. Pam however stood and gave him a congratulations kiss. Wow, he reeked!

"Nice work, Hillary Stink'em. More money to get you through student poverty."

"At this rate I'll be getting the Saturday shift and I'll have all week free to focus on passing top of my class and volunteering. It'll look great on my teaching application." He carried on talking without pausing. "Man, I'm starving but I'm gonna take a shower, you gonna be ok with Mark?"

"She's gonna paint my nails and do my hair. Of course she'll be 'ok with me', Jesus." He snarked, finger quotes included.

"Ok, ok, don't get huffy!" Jim grinned and bounded up the stairs three at a time.

"God, who thought he'd be that obnoxious of a car salesman?" Mark sighed.

"Maybe they make them sign something?"

"So, um, what do you think I should do about the whole Sarah thing?"

"Do you want to wait for Jim to get back?"

"I want your take on it first. Female perspective 'n' all."

"Well ok... do you like her?"

"Yeah, but it's still really early. She says she wouldn't want me to meet Samantha until we were much more serious but she usually told guys at this point because they knew her more as a person but weren't invested enough so they could bail if they got scared of the kid... thing."

"Does it scare you?"

"Yeah but then relationships as a whole scare me. My mom never really dated after my dad left. At least if she did I didn't know about it. It's just a responsibility, its two people you're eventually going to be in a relationship with, two sets of feelings to deal with and I'm far from perfect, if I fuck up, I could end up scarring some kid for life. Even if it's not on the table right now, if I date Sarah then it's coming."

"The fact that you understand there's two people involved means you're already better than a ton of men who've dated single moms."

"It's scary. I think Sarah thought I'd run off, literally, we were having coffee outside and she moved her bag out of the way."

"Do you think it might be worth it?"

"I don't know, everything is still so new, I don't want to make a promise I can't keep."

"I guess that's why she waits before introducing anyone to her daughter. For the moment, you're just testing out Mark and Sarah before trying out Mark, Sarah and Samantha. She's not gonna make you meet her until you're both ready, that might be six months down the line."

"Yeah, I guess that gives us more time to see how things might work. This is really weird, never had to think about my step-dad potential before, even theoretically. Not that I'd be a step-dad, she's got a real dad, but it's a big deal being the boyfriend to someone's mom." They could both hear door slamming upstairs as Jim noisily got himself dressed. "The man is an elephant."

"He's been so excited since he started volunteering. You hear about the prompt club they've started online?"

"Jim's been telling me about every time there's a new post, him and Jamie are in some sort of prompt war and trying to write the most insane stuff." Mark chuckled fondly. "I've still got all the stories he wrote me to see me through groundings and appendicitis in a folder upstairs, he's got form for insanity. Good to see him like this again all fired up."

"Again?"

"Well, yeah, when he came back from college and got a job he didn't seem to write like he used to or talk about it. It became taboo to talk about. I tried, but never got anywhere. Not if you don't count getting your head bitten off, chewed up and spat out again."

"Oh..."

"Sorry, shouldn't have said anything. You should talk to Jim about it though."

"Talk to me about what?"

"Your writing prowess. Gonna check your prompt doodad?" Pam covered; it was a conversation for when they were alone. "Mark and I have a score to settle on Burnout. What are we, 15-14 to you, right?"

"Yep. I'm the master." He leaned back with his arms behind his head.

"One game does not a master make."

"Let's do a crash tournament or something." Jim suggested.

"Sounds good to me. I'm feeling destructive." Cheered Pam.

...*...

Jim was having an amazing day. He'd been working on the forecourt intermittently when they needed extra hands for the past couple of weeks and today he had his chance to prove himself on what was typically a big sales day. He'd nailed it. Every cent in his pocket would make it easier to achieve his dream. It wasn't just a case of meeting each bill and paying the rent, it was for a greater goal now.

He'd been going whenever he could to the homework sessions. He had six regulars now, including Jamie, and could happily help out with others. It was the extra work that had him invested too, he'd convinced Jamie to give up smoking pot so he could think clearer for his writing and had managed to get help for another young girl with a self harm problem. Teaching would be so much more than just the educational aspect. He understood now why Mr Wilks took such an interest in his kids; you had to look out for their well-being too. He wanted to be a more holistic teacher like Mr Wilks.

Pam had the first go at crashing her car and causing as much carnage as she could. She curled up on the couch beside him, her face a picture of concentration. She'd been tense recently because work was driving her crazy but she always managed to unwind. Mark had just returned from the kitchen where he'd switched on the oven for his home-cooked lasagne and sat the other side of Jim. It was just how Jim had pictured a future with Pam.

"Ooh, nice work Pam." Admired Mark. It was easy to be impressed at the multiple buses and articulated lorries spread over several lanes of highway. She was setting the bar high.

"I know, this is why I frighten Jim when I drive." She beamed.

"So how'd your date with Sarah go?"

"Interesting. Enlightening. Educational."

"Obtuse. Cryptic. Elusive." Jim retorted.

Mark sighed and glared at him little. "Fine. She's got a kid. Samantha, she's seven."

He wasn't expecting that response and his eye brows rose accordingly. "Right. And..."

"I'm still thinking it over. I'm not expected to meet her or be her instant dad or anything, her father is still involved. I've just been given the heads up that if it got serious then there's a daughter in the bargain too." He finished casually. Jim had a quick glance at Pam who was enjoying the replay of her destruction, she must already know.

"Ok, what are you thinking right now?" Jim didn't want to bluster in with his opinion too early. Single mom relationships were complicated to say the least but totally worth it for the right person.

"I'm thinking that it probably wouldn't hurt to see her a bit more, I don't really know where it's going and I'm taking things slow, a few movies and some Indian food wouldn't kill us. Maybe that'll give me some time to wrap my head around the whole thing and see if I'm really up for this."

"You could totally manage the kid thing if you wanted to get that far. You're responsible and you're fun, you don't have to be a dad if she's got one. You'd be good."

"Being a boyfriend to a mother is so much scarier than what you're saying though. It's not that simple."

"See how things go."

"I've dated worse prospects and she is really nice and we have a great time together but it's still really early." Jim knew he hadn't really let his guard down yet which was understandable, he'd rushed things with Isobel and she'd treated his openness with contempt. Jim was still seething a little inside but kept it smothered for Mark's sake.

"Maybe we could meet her?"

"We're not there yet, nowhere close. We haven't even discussed exclusively dating; I guess that's the next thing. It's a lot, I don't... maybe it's too complicated."

"Don't over-think it man, I'd have dated Pam even if she had a daughter in tow."

"Even if I had six kids and cankles." Quipped Pam.

"Yeah, but you'd have dated Pam if she..." Jim's eyes went wide. "...had a second head."

"Nice save." Said Pam knowingly as she passed the controller to Jim. "I'll leave the actual end of the sentence to remain a mystery."

Jim figured the end of the sentence was 'with a husband in tow' but he wasn't sure how Pam would have felt about that. Thank goodness he'd cut Mark off.

"I bumped into Isobel today too." Mark said abruptly.

Jim tried to get his car to hit a ramp at the right angle but that sudden declaration threw him off.

"Yeah? So what she want?" He said bitterly, forgetting that one of her closest friends sat next to him.

"Don't get your heckles up already, I approached her. She was upset. I was telling Pam that I like to be friends with her one day."

"Why?" He snorted. He kept his eyes on the screen without bothering to turn to Mark.

"Because it would be nice if we could all hang out without it being weird or one of us being left out. You and Pam, Penny and Dan, Isobel and whoever, me and whoever, Ollie, Nick and Sandra. Everyone." He shrugged. "It be nice to have parties and stuff where everyone can be together."

"You're too soft man."

"She's not evil, just messed up, I get that, just because I don't want to be involved doesn't mean I can't like her as a friend, we really got on."

"What if she gets her hooks into you again, she'll just break your heart, people like that aren't to be trusted." Jim had finished his go and passed the controller to Mark. He felt the couch shift behind and turned in time to see Pam flee from the room. "Oh, Pam, I didn't..." The front door slammed and Jim got up to chase her. He hadn't been thinking, he'd just said what he needed to protect Mark; he was too soft when it came to women.

"Pam!"

She'd gotten to her car and was fumbling with her keys. He reached out for her hands to stop her but she jerked them away.

"People like her?" She snarled. "She's been through a lot, everyone makes mistakes! You don't get to talk about my friends like that!"

"I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, I just don't want Mark to get back with her." There was more than a truck-load of desperation in his tone.

"Because people can't make up for their mistakes? She's trying to make things better for herself; she's seeing a therapist, Isobel of all people!" She yelled. Jim had never seen her this mad at him. She'd never seen her this mad at all.

Were they going to break up over this? He was panicking inside; he didn't know what to do. It had happened so quickly.

"Of course she can, therapy is great, I'm happy for her." He soothed but it was too little effect.

"But you wouldn't let her near Mark?"

"...uh... not right now." He wouldn't lie. Honesty was something he never wanted to let go, it was too important because right now he'd say anything to stop Pam being mad at him.

"I've made mistakes too, I kissed you while I was engaged, that was so much worse that what Isobel did but you forgave me, you didn't even see it as an issue!" She raged, her eyes a little glassy but she was holding on to the anger. "I don't get why you hate her so much and not me!" She jammed her keys in the lock of her car and opened the door.

"I could never hate you, I love you so very much. I thought we were over that whole Dundies thing. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I should have thought it over, I'm being a huge hypocrite, please don't go." He hung on her arm and wouldn't let her in the car. "Stay, we're ok, right?

"I just, I need to think, it's been a long day and you're not..." She tailed off. Jim couldn't work out the end of the sentence from her expression.

"What about tomorrow?"

"Lemme think about it."

Oh god, his stomach sank to his bare feet. "Please, I'm sorry I was insensitive but you understand where I was coming from, right? It was a knee jerk thing, just stupid words. I love you; I
don't want you to be mad at me." The words 'you're over reacting' almost slipped out but he caught them just in time.

"I don't want to be mad either, but I am."

"We should go inside, talk some more. I don't really have to worry about Mark, he likes this Sarah."

"That's not really the point; Isobel isn't the horrible person you seem to think she is. You hang out with her plenty when she and Mark were together but now you talk about her like she's
some heartless bitch. She's got a heart, Jim."

"I know she has. I guess I haven't forgiven her yet."

When Jim saw Pam's face he knew instantly he'd said the wrong thing.

"I'm going for a drive; I'll call you later, ok?" She said calmly. Too calmly.

"Y-y-you sure?"

Pam's face creased up a little with pity and maybe a little resentment. She'd caught the bad stutter.

"Yeah. I just need to think."

Jim nodded, he didn't trust himself to speak again.

He watched as she got in the car and pulled away and drove down the street. He knew he could catch up to her on foot if he wanted to because she wouldn't have gotten far before she
was crying too much to drive. Jim didn't follow.