"Yo, bro, whadaya know?" Gabe hails from downstairs. My baby brother has arrived with impeccable timing.

"Gabe!" Zach gasps. The color drains from his face and all thoughts of The Talk flee my head as I try to think of what needs to be done in the next 30 seconds if we don't want Gabe to find out about our relationship by seeing it first-hand. Being the writer, the appropriate word comes to mind, of course.

"Fuck!" I reply in the heat of the moment. We jump out of bed and I rush to lock the door as Zach grabs a few of his things and tosses them around the corner out of sight.

"Come on, come on," he urges quietly. I rush back and grab anything that doesn't look like it would belong to me to my very observant brother, to have it join Zach's pile. "Hurry hurry, go," he continues and I can tell he is freaking out.

"Shauny-poo, your little brother Gabe's back!" the voice from the other side of the door taunts as it gets closer. I can hear him running up the stairs.

"Fuck!" I mutter under my breath as I stash the rest of what I can away from Gabe's immediate eyesight when he eventually enters the room. Zach hides behind the corner with his stuff, partially throwing on the shirt he wore last night as I hear my brother approach the door. I see my gray undershirt from last night and struggle to put it on, looking around for pajama bottoms with no luck. I do a final check on Zach who has half the shirt on and seems to be focusing on his breathing

"Where's my princess big brother?" Gabe cheerfully chimes through the wood as he unsuccessfully attempts to open the door. Realizing it's locked, be begins knocking while making conclusions that aren't far from the truth. "What, have you got a guy in there, you slut?!"

"No!" I bark out, approaching the door and trying to sound like he'd just woken me up.

"Ooohh, a girl?!" I roll my eyes and open the door to my brother as his best friend hides. This would make a great scene in movie, but sucks in real life.

"Yeah right! Like I got a girl in here, please," I scoff, wiping my face to continue the illusion I'd be been startled from sleep by his arrival.

"Did I interrupt your beating off, or what?" he asks, ever the classy fellow.

"No I was sleepin,' Jesus"

"Sleeping?" he asks skeptically as he grabs my shoulders. "With the door locked? Okay weirdo." As usual, Gabe notices too much. He begins in the general direction Zach's hiding and I grab him in an attempt to distract him.

"No, hey, come here dude!" I grasp him in a hug as Zach peeks around the corner. The cuddly boy from my bed is gone and replaced by a spooked out half-dressed dude. I'm suddenly grateful to know his car is hidden in the garage where Gabe wouldn't have seen it, as he usually gets dropped off by buddies and grabs the key out of the planter.

" Good to see you too, bro," he pats my back and grunts, and I hope I'm not being obviously awkward as I gesture toward the door to my boyfriend hoping he can sneak out. If I have to, I'll keep baby brother in this bear hug all day.

"I missed you so much," I reply, forcefully patting him while I grunt back.

"There it is, yeah," he agrees looking at me like I'm a freak. I grab his face and growl and realize I did miss him. Gabe disentangles himself from my grasp and throws himself on my bed, having no idea that he's lying among the blankets and sheets on the bed I just recently was cuddling with Zach in. Get off my bed—you're tainting it! My inner drama queen roars to life while Gabe doesn't realize anything's amiss and continues his brotherly interrogation. "Dude, so what are you doing here man? I thought you were moving into your new place this week." The idea of giving Gabe a calendar as a gift suddenly loses all appeal if he's going to keep this good of track on dates. I mentally take note to inform Zach that not even the world's most boring calendar should be given to my astute brother.

"No, no. The thought of…moving into an empty place is just depressing, you know?" The words stumble out of my mouth as I try to listen for Zach to make his escape. I look at the bench and notice a pair of Zach's boxers peeking out from under a towel lying on it. I grab another towel from the floor and nonchalantly throw it over them before Gabe can see something I don't wear sitting there.

"Yeah? Well it's pretty empty here," Gabe informs me of the obvious. Why can't you be high right now? I wonder, then feel bad for wishing my brother any sort of impairment, even a temporary one. "You doing alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good," is all I can come up with.

" You sure?" he asks, not convinced.

"Mmm-hmm!"

"I heard it was pretty tough there for a while," he offers with sympathy. I am not ready for a heart-to-heart with my little brother but I don't want to be any more off than normal to him, so I decide to just go with whatever he's saying.

"Yeah, it was…tough."

"Well don't worry, Romeo. You'll find a new one," he uses my own words of brotherly wisdom on me.

"Yeah, thanks," I reply.

"So, you ready to hang up your pink Gucci suit and come paddle out with your real friends?" Surfing. Of course. Surfing I can do and the physicality of it will mean less questions from Gabe.

"Yeah, okay," I agree, perhaps a little too enthusiastically.

"Right on, I'll call Zach," he confirms, and I pray the man in question has made it out and is long gone before that happens and his cell phone starts ringing from inside the house.

"Ok, good. Yeah, give him a call." I think I can hear the garage door closing, but it's very faint.

"Uh, what was that?" Gabe must have heard it too. Shit.

"June's probably cleaning today," I mutter, not very convincingly.

"But uh, June comes on Tuesdays…" he argues, and I am done even trying to lie at this point.

"Yes she does. Pool guy? I dunno." I try laughing and just hope he joins me. He does, but can tell something's not right. At least Zach's made his getaway. Subterfuge has never been my thing, and the last few minutes have me seriously stressed out. Gabe has clearly picked up on this fact.

"You ok?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah? You look a bit freaked out."

"No, I'm just tired," I say, hoping he'll accept it at face value.

"Alright." I can't tell if he's buying it, but at this point, I don't even care.

"Just tired."

"Is there anything good to eat in the fridge or did you stock it with low-carb fag food? I'm fucking starving man." Well, baby brother, it's stocked because your best friend and I went shopping, so I guess that makes it fag food.

"Just a lot of fag food." Well, that went well. At least I got through it. I take a few minutes to calm down and regroup and find PJ bottoms on before joining my brother downstairs. Gabe's got the fridge open and is considering his food options. I'm suddenly very glad I'd moved Cody's sand art last night.

"Whoa, bro, you've been shopping," he pokes his head out and nods at me with a smile. I nod back but say nothing. "Have you started cooking?" he asks, and his inquisitive nature, which I've always appreciated before, is really starting to get on my nerves. This is what I get for trying to hide something from someone whose main priority growing up was knowing everything about me.

"Uh, yeah. A little bit," I try to pass it off as I look around for any other evidence that I've been essentially playing house with his best friend for the past few weeks. Nothing immediately catches my eye, and I begin breathing normally again.

After finishing assessing the fridge, he closes it with just a bottle of water in hand. "Will you take me to Pacific Diner, dude?" he requests off-handedly.

"Uh, sure," I reply, but since I shouldn't know that's where Zach works and has a shift soon, I continue. "Couldn't find anything to eat here?"

"Nah, well, yeah. Zach is prolly working there 'cause he didn't answer when I called. Figured I'd stop in to invite him, and grab a bite maybe," he replies, removing the cap off the bottle and taking a swig. I remember where I left my car last night.

"Oh okay, but we'll have to cab it to my car. I uh, left it somewhere last night…" I trail off, hoping he doesn't ask too many questions.

"Did Shauny go out partying last night? I thought I saw the shirt I got you!" he exclaims and I am glad I covered the boxers if he noticed the orange shirt a foot away from them.

"Uh, yeah," I confirm and feel my cheeks getting warm. Now is not the time to be blushing, Andrews! Gabe smiles but for once keeps his inappropriate thoughts to himself, and for that I'm grateful.

"Right on! Glad to hear it bro!" he enthusiastically pats my shoulder, and Gabe's genuine enthusiasm upon hearing this makes me feel like a jerk.

"I'll, uh, go get dressed and call us a cab I guess."

"Coolio. Thanks man. It's good to see you," he says with a grin while leaning on the counter. I smile and pat his beanie-covered head.

"It's good to see you too baby brother," I reply with a smile. My eyes sweep over the kitchen one last time and I can't see anything that screams "I've been fucking your best friend!" so I head upstairs to change.