Sorry about this school started again.
It was bound to happen at some point in time i had just deluded myself into hoping that it wasn't infact going to happen. And i had hoped and prayed that my assumptions about the other girl were wrong but i was right , there she stood donned in his clothes and i couldn't help a surge of jealously.
She so beautiful , extremely so , and the only hint of makeup she had was lipstick. Mine. Where i had power with my body she had power with her eyes, it was horrible to think the only thing that was virtually attractive about me was my body.
It was now i knew where our differences lay. She didn't have much of a body but her intelligence got the upper hand of a situation, you could tell from the structure of her lips and eyes , the way she would asses me.
She had no need for the latest Robert Cavalli shoes, or the next rag & bone jeans , all she needed were her eyes and in you were dragged. She was a women you would fight for intelligent , smart , simple.
Everything Darius was , and nothing i was close too.
I turned around leaving them, i certainly wasn't needed in that room.
Being alone in the elevator with a sleeping Ana left me to own devices of thought.
Simplicity wasn't a choice for me , i had lived in the country side of Cambridge Shire and i still had my clothes ordered over the internet. The most simple thing i had ever done in my life was go to school and event hat turned out to be a nightmare. I grew up in a family of international models, powerful business men and entrepeurneaurs , the option of living in a small country farm town on a big hill with cattle and chicken was never possible.
The boredom would have been insufferable.
I sat heavily on the bench , continuing my little bounce movement with Anna still fast asleep in my arms , i had hoped at this point Ana would be awake to play on the playground. But i was content just sitting and bouncing her.
"Aubrey, i knew our crosses would path sometime." Liam sat comfortabley next to me on the park bench. His suit flexing nicely with his posture change , how casually could he be eating an ice cream?
"Hi Liam." I lay back, next to him hoping he would stay silent or talk me into forgetting he was there.
"So how it the mis-"
"Liam , shut up." I was in no shape or form to talk , look or even smile at anyone much less Liam.
"SO i suppose we should just sit and watch little kids?" I sighed. Standing with Ana was hard in my hands but i stood anyway and began walking , and following in suit was Liam. "Walking it is then."
Walking. It was a great way to relieve stress , especially in Central Park. Although there were surrounding us , all i could her was the distant clacking of my heels as i stormed down the path.
"So i can sense you're a bit pissed."
"Don't you have some blonde to screw?" I stopped walking and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'm sorry Liam , i didn't mean that i'm just a little pissed." I held Ana up by both armpits trying to reposition her , the girl was getting heavy.
"Here bring her here , come one. Hand her over." I sighed pushing her into his chest, she could sleep through anything. "Let's keep walking you look stressed."
So at five o'clock in the afternoon a British Badboy and a Money Baby strolled Central Park. Wearing nothing but Givenchy and the silence that hung over them.
"You know what i think?" After a long walk , we sat again at another bench and jsut stared looking no where this was the first time either of us said anything it was just Ana deep breaths. "I think you need a holiday , i don't know you that well , thank god , nor do i really plan too , but it just seems your incredibly stressed for a nineteen year old."
"Yeah i am a little stressed." I agreed.
" I don't understand why you put yourself through this , engaged at 18 , adopted a kid the same year. It just seems, your growing up too fast. I just think you need to slow down." I sighed. "You've lost your childhood kid , don't you think it's time to win it back?"
WE stared at each other a little longer before i looked away. "I don't need people telling me what to do , i need people to help me. I get it everyone is telling me what i'm doing is a horrible idea , but i need to do this."
He grunted. "I think you want to do this , because besides him you had nothing else. Sure oyu had the kid and your family , but besides that oyu had nothing, this is your own way to prove to yourself is that your worth something no matter how reckless it is. You're so driven with this you won't let anyone love you , your eyes which used to look left and right now look forward."
I bit my tongue.
I let the silence answer him instead. "It's getting late, let me take you to dinner." I looked at him skeptically. "Come on i know a great Chinese restaurant."
"Come on Ana i know you're tired but you're going to have to eat. Say ahhh come on" Her eyes snubbed closed again and i sighed. She rested on my legs her head lulling on my breast. I pulled the jacket tighter around her , then looked up at Liam completely oblvious to my situation.
There was something strangely alluring about him, it was like he pulled off something smarter than he actually was , he knew and showed that he didn't have to prove himself because he already done that.
He had proved himself to the world and now he needed to do was sit there and enjoy the bliss.
How? How did he do it?
"Where is she?" He lifted his head a little a blond brow rising.
"Who?" I laughed.
"The girl. The Mrs Perfect come on you seem like the type to have a supermodel pining for you." He gawfed out loud laugh leaning back as he did.
"No...none at all, i'm young i want to do everything now nefore before i decided to add the ol' ball and chain."
"So what no young dad plans? No young beach house front?" He shook his head.
"Kids aren't my thing , don't plan on having any, don't plan having a beach front house , New Yorks my home." I blinked..the man who had everything..wanted .
The last time i snuck into any form of building was when i was sixteen and even then i had reaped a horrible outcome from my parents , i vowed on that day that sneaking in was not my forte , lord knows that nothing good comes from sneaking in.
So you would believe my lack of luck trying to sneak back into the apartment.
"Pass her here." I jumped at the sound of his voice. The closing door of the elevator behind me dinging loudly while i passed Ana over.
I had half the mind yell and scream an shout and act like a complete moron, but i held my head high and ran to my own bedroom.
And it happened the hours of built emotions crashed on me , i feel on my bed and let my tears rain from their sockets. It was like i was sixteen all over again, crying over some stupid guy or the latest pair of Minolos because my mothers was selfish enough not to buy them.
But that wasn't the reason, it was like my heart was ripped in two and spat on the ground. Even when i was with August i never felt this pain , this hot burning in my chest , was molding into what felt like physical pain.
I didn't sare move as i heard my door slide open then shut. The mold of the bed sinking as i felt the heavy body lie next to me.
"I don't know why i'm even crying." I spoke first. He didn't answer so i continued. "All i know Darius is that it hurts...it hurts so bad , to hte point where it actually feels like i'm choking." I sat up and pulled roughly at my dress." Help me please, get it off me." I felt the dress zip , run cold down my back and the top half of it fall forwards and i was free. "Why does it hurt Darius?"
"I don't know , Aubrey i wish i knew." I snorted rather unattractively.
"I care about you Darius, i care about you so much. So much that it hurts, and i don't know if that means something , but it hurt Darius it really hurt to see her." I wiped my eyes and lay back down and faced him. "Why won't you say anything?"
" I love you Aubrey , No one else. I care about you so much, i never wanted to hurt you, and i'm sorry." I smiled.
