Chapter Fifty-Two
Laufeyson
Milky Way Galaxy
Tilnast System
Planet Sarka
Their day started out well enough. The only thing that truly bothered Tony was how annoyingly useful it was to have Hatchet around. He was constantly helping out, the bastard. Tony would have enjoyed it if he had more reasons to be hostile, but other than Hatchet's attitude and irritating personality, he had no reason to be pissed at him. For now. He promised Loki that he would not interfere, that he would let him handle the elf for the few days it took to see whether he passed or failed Loki's honesty test. On one hand, he wanted him to fail, because the guy seriously was too shady to simply confess who the hell sent him after Loki. If he kept silent, they would have a reason to just ditch his ass and not mention him again. But he also didn't want him to fail. Because with everything Loki turned his back on, his issues with his family, it would suck if his friend let him down too. Tony really-really did not like the guy, but he was the first person from Loki's past who did not incite some sort of murderous rage in the god. It would be the shittiest thing ever to hope for Loki to lose one of the last friends he had from before.
So yes, Hatchet aside, their day had been fine. Until a group of five – armed soldier looking guys – marched inside their dock. His mind was immediately yelling "Danger, Will Robinson, danger!" and he tensed as he turned towards them. Only Juyu was outside with him when they approached and Tony wasn't sure whether to call for Drongo and Bee. They were close, would probably even hear if he yelled. He decided against it for the time being, hoping to solve whatever was going on with words alone.
'Just stay silent, okay?' he glanced at Juyu and the girl nodded firmly in return.
He put on one of his most charming press conference smiles as the men stopped in front of them.
'How can I help you?' he asked.
'Are you in charge of this spacecraft?' the leader asked.
'Yes, I am,' Tony answered without hesitation.
'I am Ulcan, this is a routine search and by Council Law #5 you are requested to cooperate while we search your ship for hostile life forms.'
'No hostility here,' Tony told them with a smile. 'That I can tell you right away. We're just harmless traders.'
The leader gave him a look that meant that he heard those lines a hundred times before.
'Your cooperation is appreciated,' he said. 'It shouldn't take long and as long as you do not hide Dire Wraiths, Gramosians, Kodabaks, Chitauri, Skrulls, Yirbeks, Ul'lula'ns or Solons, there should be no problem at all.'
Tony had never been more proud of his poker face and that his smile did not falter hearing the word "Skrull". He was also ridiculously glad that Juyu did not understand what they were saying. She was not really good at hiding her reactions. His mind was immediately racing a mile a minute and he was talking before he even thought about it.
'Wow. That's a lot of hostile races. I'm kind of new in this part of the galaxy. Should I be worried, what kind of precautions do we need to take? Are there systems we should avoid? I mean, are any of these attacking ships around here or something?'
The only thing he could think of was to stall them while he thought of something better to do. At least Ulcan looked like he was willing to indulge him.
'No need for concern,' he said. 'Most of these races inhabit the Andromeda Galaxy and are unlikely to approach us, but some of them possess skills that can be used for infiltration. You do not need to worry about being attacked either, trading ships are unlikely targets.'
'But you're like patrolling the docks regularly too, right?' Tony asked. He needed more time, as much time as possible. Loki was also not back yet, so it wasn't like he could simply take off and get the hell away from here.
'The City Guard ensures the safety of all our residents and visitors,' the man said. 'You do not need to worry. There is only the usual amount of danger out on the streets, but that can be expected in large cities.'
'That's great!' smiled Tony again, making sure to keep his body language open and welcoming. If they started being suspicious about his many questions they were in deep shit. Well, they were already in deep shit, but it could get worse very soon. 'I am feeling a lot more secure seeing your confidence in the matter. I mean, you are obviously professionals and I guess it's not easy with the amount of docks you need to search. I hope they don't make you guys do all of the work. I visited other planets where guards like you were completely overworked. I mean, there was like a handful of men for a whole facility. You can imagine what kind of security that was. I definitely did not feel safe, not like I do now. But I do hope there are more of you and none of that horribly unreasonable workload is going on in this city. Some assholes in high places don't always realize that guys like you do the hardest work, keeping peace, right? It's the hardest, that's what keeps the cash flowing, am I right? And then they just begrudge the money from you, when you keep the business running. Who cares about some corporate official if the docks and the city are not safe enough to land in? Safety, that's what makes traders land. But who gets paid more for their work? The idiots up in their offices.'
'Yeah, tell me about it,' one of the guys in the back mumbled. The leader shot him a look, but he just shrugged. Tony didn't even remember who the labour union guy was that ranted something like this at him at some point back on Earth, but he was glad he remembered some it, even if he had no idea why he started talking about this. He just knew that he had to keep talking.
'Right? Right?' Tony nodded at him enthusiastically. 'I knew you would get what I'm talking about right away. So I just wanted to know if none of that shit that I saw on other planets is going on here. I mean, I already saw some suspicious looking people outside of the docks, so I kinda wanted to know how the security was. And-'
'While this is all very fascinating,' Ulcan interrupted him. 'We do have other places to be. First we need you to answer a few questions.'
'Of course, yes. I don't want to keep you up, definitely not. Just ask your questions. I will do my best to answer them all.'
What the hell was he supposed to do? These guys wouldn't just leave. Plus the leader guy didn't look like he was willing to put up with much bullshit. They did not react to Juyu, so they didn't notice what she was. Did they have any way to check? He remembered the collars the girls were wearing when they first met, so the technology existed in some form. Did these guys have anything like that? He had no idea.
'Previously visited galaxies?' Ulcan asked.
'Uh, Fornax and Draco,' he answered. Yeah, he was definitely not going to mention the Andromeda. No way. And they've arrived form the direction of the Draco Galaxy, so it would have been stupid not to mention that.
'Size of the crew?' he asked then.
'Five,' Tony said. 'Small crew, it's more of a family really.'
'Origin of the crew?'
'We're locals, sort of. And by that of course I mean the galaxy. This galaxy. And the Fornax. One member is from Fornax.' Because he had no idea if anyone would recognize Drongo's race, so it was best to stick with the truth as much as possible. The leader nodded at him.
Where the hell was Loki? Tony couldn't remember what time he promised to be back. Was he late? Was he on his way back? This was such shit. He still had no idea what to do when these guys decided to get inside the ship. Sure he could fight them, but then what?
Ulcan was seemingly finished with his questions for now.
'Now we only need to-'
'Hey fellas, what is going on here?' Tony and the guards all turned around. It was Hatchet who yelled at them, but Loki was following him closely. Tony wanted to sigh in relief, but he didn't want to give away that he was nervous. So he just kept on his relaxed mask. Now if things turned bad they could just get the hell out of here. Hopefully.
x-x-x
Tony did not miss the way Loki stepped between Juyu and the guards, and since normally he was not protective like that, Tony had to assume that he had some idea about what was going on. Hatchet positioned himself closest to the guards without blocking their view, because that would have been too obvious.
'Hey, 6th squad, right?' Hatchet asked, looking at the guards. 'So what's this about?'
'Routine check-up,' Ulcan answered.
Hatchet snorted. 'Really? Here of all places? Was it Vismio, it had to be Vismio. I live here, you know and these are my friends, I've been doing business with them for years. There is absolutely nothing suspicious about them, and just because zeDat couldn't screw them over, they have no right to send-'
'Nobody sent us,' Ulcan interrupted. 'This is a routine procedure every new visitor has to go through.'
'Well, then it's unnecessary, because they're not new. I've been doing business with them for a long time. They've gone through all sorts of inspections in the nearby star systems. And you know that the Milsys Corporation docks are the ones crawling with unwanted folk. Why are you wasting your time here?'
'He just said he was new to this part of the galaxy,' Ulcan nodded at Tony and oh damn, really? If this was going to bite him in the ass…
Hatchet was unfazed and replied with a shrug. 'Yeah, he is, not the others,' he said.
'Well then,' the man said, pulling out an unusual looking gun from his holster. Tony didn't even have time to tense before he was shot at. He couldn't duck or get out of the way of the bright flash of yellow beam. He just waited for the pain to start, immediately clutching at his chest.
It wasn't pain. It was just a weird cold sensation that seeped into his skin. It made him stumble and curse loudly as his breath came out in small gasps.
'What the fuck was that?' he yelled at the guard. When he straightened up again, he saw that Hatchet was in the exact same spot, but Loki was considerably closer, wearing a shocked expression on his face. He must've thought Tony was really shot too. Juyu had her gun in her hand and she was scowling at the guards. She didn't say anything, staying silent as she was told, but her eyes were angry and questioning. Tony shook his head at her.
The cold tingling would not stop in his chest, it was damn uncomfortable.
'Hey, I asked you a question!' he glared at Ulcan. 'Why the fuck did you shoot me, huh?'
The guard seemed unimpressed by his anger, which just pissed Tony off more.
'Like I said before, some of our enemies possess certain skills. One of them is changing their appearance. We have our ways to expose shifters,' he said as he held up the gun. 'You seem to have passed the test.'
'Yeah, I'm not a fucking shapeshifter, I could have told you that,' Tony scowled some more, rubbing at his still tingling skin. Then he glanced at Loki. His eyes were slightly widened, even if it was barely noticeable. Tony felt the same. If these fuckers shot at Juyu, they had to get the hell away from here and fast.
'Alright, you checked them out and had your fun, now stop harassing my business partners,' Hatchet said. 'Seriously, you should be in the Milsys docks.'
The leader squared his shoulders and stepped up to Hatchet wearing a deep scowl. He was slightly shorter than the elf, but he did not seem to make a big deal out of it.
'You have no authority to tell me which docks I need to check,' he said. 'So I will do my work here and you will keep your mouth shut. Now step aside.'
Hatchet's stance immediately shifted a little, his muscles tensed as he straightened up. He did not move thought, just steadily stared down the guard. This was not going to help them much. Loki eyed the guards warily as he moved back to block Juyu again.
'Hatchet,' Loki said quietly. The elf looked back at him, waiting. Right, waiting for Loki to tell him what to do, maybe, it certainly looked like it. Loki reached up with a hand and slid a finger across his temple smoothing a strand of his hair back behind his ear. It looked like a very natural, innocent movement, but Loki never fiddled with his hair, especially not when he was this alert.
Only Ulcan seemed to have grown tired of being delayed. He pushed at Hatchet's shoulder and raised his stupid gun again.
Tony's breath got caught in his throat, but he relaxed just a bit when the shot hit Loki instead of Juyu. Loki did not look all that relieved, but Tony remembered the cold sensation that spread out in him after getting hit, so probably even Loki needed a few moments to compose himself.
Something bright and violet caught his eye and he turned back towards Hatchet and the guards. The elf's hands were glowing, a pulsing, burning energy covered his fingers and for a moment Tony thought that it was the same as the energy blasts he saw Loki use a long time ago, back in his tower when all of this started.
But he did not have time to observe, because Loki's breathing got loud and quick. Tony moved even before it fully registered what he was seeing. Loki was hunched just a little. Some of his long hair fell forward and hid his face. His breathing was too harsh and Tony felt the first threads of panic gripping his chest immediately in reaction. Then he finally noticed; Loki's hands were blue.
Not the dim and greyish colour the locals' skin was, but a dark and rich sapphire blue. Loki was staring down at his hands, panting raggedly and flexing his long fingers.
'Loki?' Tony called his name in alarm, wanting to reach out to check on him, but Loki looked so shaken that it made him stop halfway. He couldn't look at Loki's face, his hair was in the way, but Tony could see how the blue colour was creeping up on his neck, slowly covering every inch of his pale skin. Raised lines appeared along with it, looking like scars at first glance, but too delicate and smooth looking to be mistaken for them.
'Hatchet, hurry up!' Loki snapped.
'I'm on it,' the elf called back. Tony looked up and wasn't even sure what he saw. Gone was the purple energy surrounding Hatchet's hands, but in its stead there was a translucent violet mist. Ulcan and the rest of the guards were looking around in confusion, staring at nothing with slack empty expressions. Tony had absolutely no idea what he was doing. Well, he knew it was magic, but beyond that he frankly did not give a fuck right now. He wanted them gone and figure out what was happening with Loki.
'What do you want me to-' Hatchet glanced back and stopped abruptly, sucking in a sharp breath. Okay, so he was as shocked as Tony was, so this was not normal. What the fuck was it then?
'Just get them away,' Loki said, still not raising his head. He just kept staring at his hands. His whole body was wound tight; every muscle tense and Tony still couldn't see his face. Tony was freaking out, he was absolutely freaking out. Was Loki in pain? Was he hurt? What was Tony supposed to do? What did you do when people suddenly turned blue? He really wanted to touch him, but Loki's whole body was completely closed-off, it literally screamed how much a touch would be unwelcome.
'Shapeshifters, but not hostiles,' Hatchet said slowly and evenly.
Tony looked towards them again and saw how the violet mist slowly vanished. Ulcan blinked and holstered his gun, then reached up to the small triangle on his shoulder.
'This is Ulcan from Squad 6. Shapeshifters, but not hostiles, the dock is clear. Moving on to Dock 18,' he reported. 'Thank you for your cooperation,' he told them, then turned around and walked away, the other four following him without a word.
Normally, Tony would have been pretty fucking concerned about the little Jedi mind-trick he just witnessed, but he had bigger problems right now.
Only Loki, the second the guards turned their backs on them, literally ran inside the ship without a word.
'Loki!' he called, but the god did not stop for a moment. 'Juyu, lock the ship,' he said and ran after him.
x-x-x
Drongo tried to ask what was happening when Tony dashed past him, but Tony just yelled a quick "Later!" and kept running. Dammit, Loki was fast. He was probably running towards their room. He was confused, he had absolutely no idea what was going on. He was just glad that Loki decided to run into the ship and not away from it. He probably wanted to be out of sight for a while. But Tony couldn't let him do that, not right now.
'Let me go,' he heard Loki speak quietly and it made him slow down on the corridor. 'Little Bee, please.'
His breath was quickened when he turned the corner and he was greeted by the sight of Bee – in her Skrull skin – holding onto Loki's middle. Loki was, of course, still completely blue.
'I see she caught you,' he said and Loki's head snapped up right away. Red. Red eyes. Loki looked away almost immediately, but Tony still saw it. Not the same red as Bee's, he had deep crimson irises surrounded by a lighter shade of red, only his pupils were black.
Tony walked closer, his breathing calming down a little right away. He couldn't even wonder at the fact that Bee was willingly touching somebody, because Loki still looked incredibly tense. The only reason he was standing still was because he would have needed to use force to pry Bee off. She was staring up at him evenly, her red eyes focused and sharp.
When Tony reached out Loki pulled away, avoiding his touch. Tony swallowed and firmly pushed away the stab he felt in his gut in reaction to that.
'Come on, Loki. Talk to me,' he asked. There wasn't much he could think of. However the hell that gun worked, it was obviously used against shapeshifters. That didn't really leave many possibilities as to why he was staring at blue skin. Its effects also obviously did not wear off yet.
'This is what you really look like?' he asked. Loki clenched his jaw, took a calming breath, and nodded. 'This is what you didn't want to tell me,' Tony said then. That was really not a question, but Loki nodded anyway.
Tony knew this was it, the adoption thing Thor mentioned. This was the root of all, the thing that started everything. This was why Loki refused to call them his family. This wasn't just a matter of not being blood-related. Loki was an entirely different race. But no, it also wasn't just that. This was a royal family. Things had to be a lot more complicated than that. His brain started running again. Putting together all that he knew about what happened in Asgard, what he knew about Thor, Odin and Frigga. All the things Loki told him about the Aesir and his own past. There wasn't much, but Tony always paid close attention to every scrap of information. Loki was not forthcoming when it came to this, so it was hard to put all the pieces together. He had to add his own observations to the equation and all the little things he learnt about Loki over the years.
It suddenly clicked, that metaphorical light bulb lit up over his head as he remembered; Odin, the warmonger, the cunning king and all his stolen treasures.
'Are you that prince he took?' he asked. There were two princes and one princess in Loki's story. Frigga and Frey were the first he talked about, the siblings taken from Vanaheim. Then the one prince Odin took after the battle on Earth, the one taken along with the Heart of Jötunheimr. He wasn't sure but… Loki nodded.
Tony let out a breath and stepped even closer. This time he did not let Loki pull away from his touch and laid his hand on his cheek. The skin was cool, but not exactly cold enough to be uncomfortable. It just felt like he was out in the cold wind for a long time, which he was actually, so Tony did not know whether the skin would feel warmer after a while.
Bee let go of Loki once she could see that he was no longer trying to pull away. She did not go far though. To be honest, Tony didn't want to go anywhere either, he didn't want to break the momentary calm he managed to achieve. Loki had to start talking.
'Come on,' he said quietly and took a step back to the wall to sit down on the floor, Loki followed without resisting. Bee sat down on Loki's other side, not touching again, but still close, just a quiet presence. Tony had always been grateful for her keen instincts, but this time more than ever.
Loki was staring ahead of himself and Tony took the opportunity to take in the sight of his face. It was clearly him, of course, nothing changed about the shape of his jaw, his lips, nose or chin. Only the colour and the delicate lines decorating his skin were different, and of course the eyes.
'Let me look at you,' Tony asked. Loki just clenched his jaw again. It did not take a genius to figure out that Loki was not exactly happy about his appearance. 'What was it? A giant, right?' he asked.
'Frost Giant,' Loki said. No, he basically spit it out like the word itself tasted foul. He did not speak of the race with such disdain back when he was telling his story. He obviously made sure to not give away his emotions back then. He did not wear so many masks nowadays.
'Jotun,' Tony said.
'Asgard's great enemies,' said someone else and Tony turned to see Hatchet standing at the corner. If possible, Loki's jaw tightened even further, he even clenched his hands into fists.
Tony wasn't sure whether he should send the elf away or not, but he was pretty sure that Hatchet would not listen to him anyway, so he stayed silent.
Hatchet walked closer until he was standing right in front of Loki, then he went down on one knee.
'Well,' he started. 'This surprised me. Not many things do,' he said and stayed silent for a moment, just looking at Loki, almost the same way Tony did not that long ago. 'You're like the smallest giant I've ever seen,' he said all of a sudden then.
Loki raised his head and gave him a cold look. 'Yes, a runt, I'm aware.'
Hatchet just hummed in return. 'Alright,' he said. 'But at least you're also the comeliest giant I've even seen,' he added with a smirk.
This time Loki's look was more flabbergasted than anything, Tony was kind of speechless for a moment too. Bee snorted quietly. Hatchet's smirk just widened.
'What? I can't believe you're still surprised. You know how my mouth works. You ain't gonna get any special treatment just because you're a big bad frost giant, mate.'
Loki huffed and knocked his head back to the wall, looking up at the ceiling.
'You're ridiculous,' he said.
'You already knew that,' Hatchet said, but then he sobered in a blink, his playful smile smoothing out into something gentler. 'But truly,' started. Loki looked at him again and Hatchet lifted up his hand, palm up. 'May I?' he asked, wriggling his fingers a little.
Loki sighed in a way that spoke of a long lost battle. This was anything but the first time the elf asked this, Tony was sure of that. There was too much familiarity in the gesture and Loki's longsuffering sigh. Loki lifted his hand up and put it into his friend's. Tony noticed that Loki's nails were black and that he had raised lines on his hand too. It must've covered his whole body. Hatchet put his other hand on top of Loki's, covering it.
'You're Loki,' he said, looking right into the other's crimson eyes. 'I don't give a damn about anything else.' Loki looked back at him for a few moments then nodded. Hatchet smiled again, squeezed his hand a little before letting go.
Tony still couldn't say he liked the guy, but he understood what his words meant. He obviously did not know that Loki was a Jotun either. Now he knew, but would not treat Loki any differently because of it. Nothing changed.
Tony did not resist the urge to cover Loki's long blue fingers with his own hand and he was glad when Loki did not pull away. He was calmer now, some of his muscles relaxed as well.
'Could you give us some privacy?' he asked. Bee stood up with a parting bump into Loki's shoulder, but Hatchet just glanced at Tony then looked questioningly at Loki instead. He only rose up to his feet when Loki nodded in confirmation.
When they were alone Tony didn't even know where to start.
'I don't think you were really worried about my reaction to the way you look,' he said. 'Because you have to know that it doesn't matter to me.'
'Really? It does not matter that I am so very unlike you?' Loki asked. 'That what you know is but a lie? That my true shape is a monstrous alien-'
'No, it's not,' Tony interrupted. 'Why would I think that? You think I see the girls are monstrous too? They're green shapeshifting reptilians, that's as alien as it gets.'
'It's different,' Loki said.
'Why would it be?' Tony countered.
'It's not just the colour of my skin,' Loki said. 'The Frost Giants are cruel, stupid beasts.'
'You don't think that, I know you don't,' Tony said. 'Or do you think the girls are some sort of monstrous beasts too? I mean, the reputation of the Skrulls alone tells us that much.'
'Of course not,' Loki said.
'The Imperials on Sakaar also thought that Drongo's people were just big stupid animals. Was that true? Is he some big stupid brute?'
'Sometimes I think he's smarter than both of us,' Loki said.
'Yeah, and that is quite a frightening thought, to be honest,' Tony nodded.
'It's still not the same,' Loki said.
'It is,' Tony insisted. 'Maybe the Frost Giants were the evil monsters of Aesir tales, but history is written by the victor. You were the one who told me that in the first place, so I know you don't really think of them like that.'
'You have not met real Frost Giants. You would see how senseless and barbaric they are.'
'Well, I am sitting next to one right now, who is a living proof that they are not.'
'I was raised in Asgard,' Loki argued.
'Which didn't magically give you a higher than average intelligence, you were born with that. Not to mention your magic. These things are in your genes, your flesh and bones and inside your thick skull. Even purely statistically speaking it's impossible that you're the only one. Nobody's that unique, not even me. I can name at least five to ten people from the top of my head, who can keep up with me back on Earth, even supress me when it comes to their own field. And you're smart, so I know you realize this. I know that you must've considered it at least a few times.'
'Is that supposed to be a proof? That there must be a few smart Frost Giants out there?' Loki asked.
'I doubt you actually know how many there are,' Tony said. 'I doubt you actually know anything about them. Do they have mages or sorcerers? What about their cities before Odin took their… Heart and forced them into eternal cold and darkness? Before they lost the war?'
'These things do not matter!' Loki snapped. Tony did not argue, but just because he was sure Loki knew exactly what he was talking about.
'Okay, fine. I was just making a point,' he said.
'This is not how I wanted to have this conversation,' Loki said, knocking his head back to the wall again with a sigh.
Tony was glad that he planned to have this conversation at all. He turned to look at him again and pulled his hand into his own lap, clasping it in-between his own fingers.
'Will you look at me now?' Tony asked. Loki sighed again, but finally turned his head towards him.
'I hate it,' he said.
'Well, I don't,' Tony answered. 'Because it's you,' he smiled. 'And you do know red is my favourite colour.'
They stayed there in silence for a little bit and while Loki's appearance was strange, it was definitely not bad at all. Maybe a few years ago he might've been more shocked, but he was so used to all sorts of different races at this point. Hell, there were pink people and purple hairy people and all sort of lizards, this planet had blue guys too. He really couldn't be surprised when it came to this. Not even the blood-red eyes were as unnerving as they could have been. That he knew was definitely because of Bee.
'They never told you the truth, right?' he asked then after some silence. Loki shook his head.
'I found out on my own,' he said. 'A Jotun's touch can freeze you, my arm simply turned blue.'
'That's when you turned against Asgard,' Tony concluded.
'They lied to me,' Loki said, grinding his teeth, breathing a tad harsher again. 'All my life. Do you have any idea what it's like… to fail at everything you're supposed to do, only to realize there was never a chance to succeed? That you were meant to fail all along? That you were meant to be inferior instead of equal?'
It was hard to tell with the red-coloured eyes, because Tony was not used to them, but it looked like they glazed over and glistened with angry unshed tears. The look on Loki's face was easier to recognize, but it was not any less painful to see.
'I hate my skin, my eyes,' Loki continued. 'I hate the cold blood in my veins. But most of all I hate that they taught me to hate it. That I am the monster from my bedtime stories.'
That was how long Tony could stay away. He lifted his arm to pull him closer, to put a soft kiss on his lips that thinned in anger. Loki tensed at the first touch, but relaxed after a moment. Tony just kept them close to one another. Even after they pulled apart their foreheads still touched. He stroked Loki's hair as they just breathed slowly, in and out. Tony was willing him to calm down again, because he wasn't sure he could handle the tears. He never wanted to see his tears.
'You knew I would not mind. That I would not care whether you were Aesir or Jotun,' Tony said. 'So what was it that you were afraid to tell me?'
Loki stayed silent for a long moment, but he must've decided that there was no point keeping silent any longer.
'Even if I am not monstrous for what I am, I may be for what I did,' he said as he pulled away.
It seemed like he was composing himself again, not putting on a mask, but pulling up a shield, preparing for a blow, for pain, for the inevitable.
'And some of them I do not regret at all,' Loki added, lifting his chin slightly, defiantly. It would have been hard to tell whether he truly did not feel regret for some of his actions or if he just didn't allow himself to regret them.
Tony would have lied if he said he was not nervous about what he was about to hear. He did believe he knew exactly what Loki was capable of, that he won't hear anything worse than he could imagine. But he also believed that Loki was shattered from the truth he had to face or from the way he had to face it. To discover the reason for his difference hidden by a lie under his very skin, having to see the enemy, the monster he was raised to fear and hate in the mirror. He did believe this was the true beginning of Loki's descent into madness and not the sight of the Yggdrasil, the Mad Titan's grip on his mind, or the touch of the Tesseract. He also believed that there was nothing that could make him stop loving this man. But he also knew that love was not everything and that it was not always enough.
Loki was looking at him, the expression was unreadable on his face, but he did look like he was just taking in the sight of him.
'What is it?' Tony asked.
'I want to remember this,' Loki said with a small, broken looking smile. 'I want to remember the way you are looking at me.' He reached out and gingerly ran his fingers down the side of Tony's face. 'Because I don't think you will ever be able to look at me like this again.'
Tony grabbed hold of his hand, keeping it in place and gripping it tightly for a moment before leaving a kiss on his palm. He nodded then.
'Tell me,' he said.
'I need to others to hear it as well, because I doubt I will be able to speak of this more than once.'
Tony nodded, but did not stand up right away. He leaned closer to Loki for another kiss.
'I love you,' he told him firmly.
And there it was that smile again, that look on Loki's face. Like he knew his world was about to burn to dust, crumble completely down to the very foundation and he would have to stand still and uselessly watch it happen.
'And I love you, Tony Stark. Don't forget that.'
No. Come what may, that was something he would never be able to forget.
x-x-x
Author's Notes: God, I cried so bad while writing the last scene. I just have too many feelings about Loki. I can't help it. I cry every time I watch 'Thor' too.
Not fanart, but fanwork. araydre made an embroidered lined wool cloak inspired by Loki's outfit in the fic (his alyndor armour with its snake engravement, aka Urnes Snakes symbol of Loki, like my avatar). Link on my LJ or Ao3.
In other news, I started to work on a different writing project (not fanfic), which may take up some of my time in the upcoming months, but I still promise to update at least once a week. So no worries, the fic will keep going, even if a bit more slowly, but compared to other fics a chapter/week is still pretty regular, IMHO.
And OMG, only 4 chapters left till Earth ;D
