Hi all :) Thank for so much for the reviews on the last chapter! I really appreciate the feedback, and I am SO glad you liked it :)

Happy reading, xo

Chapter 49,

"Er?" Jay had felt Erin's breathing even out almost an hour before, and he knew she was likely sound asleep. But there he was, his arms wrapped around her middle, his body pressed into her back, arguably lying in his favorite place in the world, and he couldn't fall asleep.

"Hmm..." She let out a sound between a grunt and a sigh in response, letting her fiance know that was she was awake. More awake that she would have liked, but he had been fidgeting so much that every time she began to drift off, she was awoken again. She didn't really mind. With his arms wrapped around her in their big warm bed, being awake wasn't the worst thing.

She just wished he had been able to settle down, this restlessness was so unlike him.

She wriggled out from beneath his arms and slowly turned to face him. "Are you okay, baby?" She searched his face, looking for signs of distress, for reasons he might still be awake at 1 in the morning.

Ever since he had proposed the week before, his little 'funk' had completely disappeared, and it was like the two of them had been walking on clouds.

"Yeah," he whispered back, holding her gaze. "I'm okay." He was touched that she had so easily woken from her slumber to sooth him, and it made him feel kind of guilty. This was a conversation that definitely could have waited until morning. "Go back to sleep."

I wasn't asleep. "Tell me something," she whispered, knowing this was the best way to get whatever it was out of him.

He sighed, and closed his eyes slightly. He had been going back and forth, and he was feeling so conflicted. He really wanted to bring Erin into the discussion to help him make up his mind. "We have to tell the Corson's tomorrow about the house."

They were seeing them the following day at Maddie and Grace's preschool graduation, and Jay had indicated that he would give them an answer by then. Otherwise, they wanted to put the house on the market before the end of summer. "I know you said that you were happy to live there-"

"Jay, I would go anywhere with you. You know that." She cut him off before he could continue. She knew he had been worried about how she would feel moving into his ex-girlfriend's parents house permanent, but Erin really didn't see it that way.

The Corson's were family. They had accepted her, and she had accepted them. And without said ex-girlfriend, they would have never gotten Maddie. So, in truth, she thanked god for Allison Corson every day.

"I know," he said. They had had this conversation a few days before, and he believed her when she said she was fine with it. More than fine with it was what she had said. And she wouldn't lie to him.

But the more he thought about it, the more he wasn't fine with it. "It's just..." He considered how to put it, "I see Allie's face every time I look at Maddie smile." He smiled sadly as he continued, "And when Maddie laughs, I swear I close my eyes and sometimes and I think I can hear Allie. Sometimes it feels like she's right there in the room with me."

Erin watched Jay's face as he struggled to continue. "Hey," she said, reaching out to place a gentle hand on his cheek. "It's okay." She hadn't even considered how difficult it might be for him. But then, he was the one who had asked her, and he seemed fine, so she hadn't really given it a second thought.

He reached out and covered Erin's hand with his own, leaning his face into the warmth of her palm. "Don't get me wrong," he said, shaking his head slightly. "It's not like I get sad every time I see Allie's expression in Maddie's face." He didn't. "It's just... I don't know. I already have a living reminder. And when I look at Maddie, I can remember all the good we had together, and the beautiful person we made together." He paused, hoping he was making sense. "I just don't think I want to live in her house."

For some reason that he was struggling to explain, it just felt different.

"I want to live in our house," he finished. "I want us to make new memories in our own home."

Erin could tell that Jay was feeling guilty about his words, and she tried to comfort him. "Jay, the Corson's will understand," she said, keeping her words soft and soothing.

She remembered back to the day Jay had forgotten Allie's birthday, how guilty he had felt for moving on, for being so happy without her. She thought that between his conversation with the Corson's and with her, he had moved past this.

I guess not, she thought. "And they'll know that wherever we live, we are going to take the memories of Allie with us." And now you'll know that, too, she thought, hoping her words put him at ease.

"It's not that," Jay replied, shaking his head. Surprisingly, that wasn't what had Jay feeling guilty. "The Corson's house is more than anything I could ever afford," he said, embarrassed.

He looked down at his hands, avoiding her gaze. "You and Maddie and Grace deserve a big house, with play rooms and spare bedrooms and jacuzzi's in the master bathroom and a big backyard." He began listening only some of the amenities they would be saying no to. "If we turn this down, I'm just afraid we'll never have that."

Oh, so that's what this is. "Hey, baby, look at me." Erin's hand returned to Jay's face, lifting his chin so that his eyes were on her own. "Did you not hear me before?" She shook her head in disbelief. How is it possible that this man didn't already know this. "I would go anywhere with you."

Then she pressed her lips against his and slid her body towards him. "Because I love you," she whispered against his lips. "And I love our life together."

How did I get this lucky? "I love you, too."

0000000000000

"Girls!" Erin yelled from her room, "We were supposed to leave five minutes ago, come on!"

"Babe," Jay came up behind her as she put the finishing touches on her mascara while sitting at the vanity mirror that had never been used before she moved in. "I'm pretty sure you're the one who isn't ready."

She shifted her eyes towards his, holding his gaze through the mirror. "Well, I would have been ready sooner if someone hadn't decided to join me in the shower," she smirked at him, as the memory of their wet, soapy sex flitted through her mind.

Jay leaned down and kissed her on her neck, just below her ear. "I didn't hear you complaining," he teased.

His breath warmed her ear and her heart began to pick up speed, but she didn't reply. She couldn't think of a good come back with his body so close to hers. Plus, she hadn't exactly been complaining. She took a deep breath, and sighed it out. "If you don't want to be even later, can you go check on the girls?" She laughed, and it came out throaty and deep.

He kissed her again, loving the affect he still had on her after all this time. "How do you know they aren't ready? You've been in here getting dressed for the last half hour."

She turned, this time choosing to hold his gaze without the help of the mirror. "Trust me," she said, shoving him playfully towards the door. "I know my daughters."

That earned her the full Halstead grin, which he gave her before she walked out of their bedroom door.

Sure enough, when Jay left Erin to finish getting dressed, he found that none of his girls were ready. "Mads, Grace, what happened in here?" He looked around their bedroom, and their were clothes everywhere.

Maddie was currently wearing her blue and white flower dress with no tights or shoes, and Grace was wearing her white polka dot tights and her brand new pink dressy shoes and nothing else. "Did you hear your mommy? We were supposed to leave five minutes ago!"

"Daddy!" Maddie said, and when she turned towards him, he noticed for the first time that she must have done her hair all by herself this morning. "Can you help me find my silver shoes?"

"Of course, baby." He said, moving towards her. "Let me just fix your braids first, okay?" Before Erin came along, he had been a single father, and over time he had developed some pretty decent hair styling skills.

He refastened her two braids until her curly hair was neat and shining. "Should we add your white headband?" He said, as he watched Grace out of the corner of his eye. She seemed to be deciding between her yellow dress and her pink and white dress. He knew the yellow dress would mean a change of shoes, but he also knew that that one was her favorite.

"The one with the flower?" Maddie said, interrupting his thoughts.

"Of course!" He said, animatedly.

He moved towards Maddie's dresser to get her white headband with the flower, just as Grace slid the yellow dress over her body. Of course, he thought, smiling. "Bug, do you want your silver shoes too?"

The grateful, beautiful smile she gave him when she looked up at him stopped his heart. And for the second time in ten minutes, he found himself thinking about how good it felt to still have this affect on one of his girls.

That was the thing he loved most about Grace and Erin.

With everything they had lived through, will all the pain and hurt and sadness in their life, they never took a single happy moment for granted.

And the way it was beginning to rub off on him and Maddie was pretty great, too.

0000000000000

"God, we're so late." Erin said, as the four of them ran through the parking lot of the preschool, hand in hand.

"It's fine, Er," Jay said, trying to keep all three of his girls calm. "The graduation doesn't start for like two hours." Well, an hour and forty-five minutes. But who's counting.

"Yes, but the girls were supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago!" She replied in a low whisper, trying to speak over the girls. She didn't want to stress them out.

But she was stressed because this was her first big school event, and she wanted everything to be perfect. The Corson's were coming and Hank was coming, and that was a pretty big deal because they hadn't actually met.

"Babe, relax," Jay gave her a pleading smile, as they neared the door.

"Oh yes, because you know how being told to relax always relaxes me," she smirked at him, and then sent him a wink to let him know she was just messing with him. "I'll take the girls back, you go save a bunch of seats?"

He nodded at her and then bent down so he was at the girl's level. They both looked so damn adorable in the outfits they had finally chosen for the event. It was almost a pity their clothes would be covered by the white graduation gowns.

"Girls," he said, feeling surprisingly choked up all of a sudden. His girls were about to graduate from preschool. They were growing up so fast, and they weren't going to be his babies much longer. "You know I love you both, right? More than anything in the entire world? And I'm so proud of both of you."

"We know," Maddie replied, all smiles today.

"We love you, too, Daddy." Grace added.

"Now that you're not preschool girls anymore, are you too old to give your Daddy a hug?"

"No!" They both responded in unison, giggling together, before they fell into his arms.

After a moment, he released them, knowing they needed to get moving. "Okay," he said, "Go with your mommy, I'm going to find us seats. We'll see you when it's all done, okay? And then we're going to go out for lunch with Nana, Grandpa Danny, and Grandpa Hank."

"Okay, Daddy," Grace replied, slipping her hand into her sisters.

"I won't be long, babe," Erin said, her voice soft and full of love. Her heart was melting; Jay in daddy mode was her favorite.

Then, she leaned over and kissed him gently, before walking towards the classrooms with the girls.

After watching his three favorite girls walk hand in hand down the hallway, Jay moved into the auditorium. Knowing they were running late, he was hoping to still be able to find a row of seats towards the front that was big enough to fit the five of them.

As he scanned the rows, he saw Amber Banks approaching him.

Ugh. He really didn't feel like dealing with Amber right now.

Her long, dirty blond hair, which was usually pulled back in a slick pony tail, was blown out in soft curls. Her fake-tanned skin was present in a stark contrast to her skintight white dress. The dress had a V-neck line that was way too low for a school function.

God, he really didn't like this woman.

Whenever he ran into her at school pick-up, she always made him feel so uncomfortable. And it's not like he wasn't used to getting hit on, but for some reason, he always found her particularly irritating. It was probably because he loved picking up the girls from school and he hated when she ruined it for him.

"Jay Halstead," she said, as she finally approached him. "I was looking for you!" He was always shocked by the way she tried to make her voice sound sexy, but it ended up sounding like she was trying way too hard.

Maybe he should tell her that.

He didn't of course. "Hey, Amber," he said, instead. He wasn't one to be rude. "How are you?"

"I'm great," Amber said, then she touched his arm as she said, "I was just thinking about you actually." He hated the way she always managed to touch him when she spoke to him. It always struck him as too intimate for the situation. "Do you freelance?" She seemed to purr the last word.

Oh, Jesus. "I'm sorry?" He said, trying to act as if he didn't know what she meant.

"Freelance, you know." She raised her eyebrows and then touched his arm again, this time in more a slapping, playful manner. He shifted slightly, trying to move his arm out of her reach as nonchalantly as possible. "Like private security."

Sometimes. "I don't actually, I'm sorry." Not for you.

"Oh." And then she pouted her lips in a way that probably would have been adorable if it was Maddie or Grace. But seeing as she wasn't four or five years old, it wasn't cute. At all. "That's too bad."

There she goes, he thought. Touching me again.

It wasn't until that moment that Jay noticed Erin walking towards them. Thank God, he thought, sending her his very best 'Please rescue me' stare. Erin, in a light blue dress and low tan heels, looked much more the effortlessly beautiful, elegant mother, and Jay couldn't help the pride that bubbled from him.

"Erin," Amber purred as she, too, noticed Erin's arrival. "Hi, it's so good to see you!" Jay noticed the way her voice switched from her low, I'm-trying-to-be-sexy voice to a high pitched, I'm-super-fake-and-pretending-we're-friends voice.

Erin, who was getting a little too much enjoyment out of seeing Amber throw herself at Jay, just smiled back. "It's great to see you, too." She said, giving Amber her best smile. You should really stick to yoga clothes, she thought, as she got a glimpse of Amber's ample cleavage.

"And you remember Jay Halstead, right?" Amber said, placing her perfectly manicured hands on Jay's shoulder's once again.

Of course, Amber knew she knew Jay. She had even commented on the fact that Jay picked up her daughter from school. "I do," Erin replied, playing along and enjoying prolonging the moment. She knew she was being petty, but for some reason she just couldn't help it.

"Amber," Jay finally cut in. "I didn't realize you knew my fiance."

The shocked look on Amber's face - Erin wished she had a camera. "We met at school pickup," Erin explained, keeping her voice casual.

Amber's eyes widened and she shoved her arms down to the side. "Yes," she said, her voice stuttering and embarrassed. "Well, um..." She shifted awkwardly. "I should probably go back to my seat, but it was, um, great seeing you both." Then, she must have decided she needed a little something to save face, because she added, "Let me know if you change your mind, Jay."

He won't, Erin thought, without even knowing to what she was referring.

As they began to move towards their seats, Jay leaned over to Erin and whispered in her ear. He wanted to make sure she knew he did not instigate any of the arm touching. "She wanted to know if I do private security," he began explaining. "I tried to move out of her way so she would stop touching me, I'm sorry about-"

"Jay," she said, cutting him off. "It's fine," she waved her hand dismissively.

Then when they took their seats, she leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Plus, I can't exactly blame her," she kept her voice low. "My man has damn good arms."

xoxo

Hey guys :) So I have pretty much rounded out most of the story lines I had planned for these characters, and I was considering ending it soon. I really love love love this story and the characters, and I would be happy to brainstorm and come up with new story arcs if y'all are still interested. OR I could finish this one up in the next few chapters and start a new one. Please drop me a review to let me know your thoughts :) I'd really appreciate your feedback!

Also, who's excited for the Linstead drama tonight?!