James' P.O.V

"So, honeymoon ideas?" I ask, my pencil poised over the paper.

"Hawaii?" Laf suggests.

"Possibly." I jot that down on the paper. "What about..." I stop, thinking while chewing on the end of the pencil. "How about New Orleans? It's got lots of theaters, so we could go see a show...they also have a lot of French culture...what do you think?"

"Why don't we go to France?" He asks, his eyes shining. "We can go see the Eiffel Tower, and the Arc de Triomphe, and I can show you all the best places to go to eat, and, and..."

He looks so excited, like a child on Christmas. "Alright." I say, crumpling the list. "Let's go to France."

"Really?"

"Yeah." I nod. We can afford it, can't we?"

"Of course we can, but is that really where you want to go?"

"You seem so excited about showing me everything, and I would love to see your home country." I kiss him on the cheek. "Can you buy the plane tickets? You know more about it than I do."

"Oui, of course. I'll do it after lunch." He nods, the smile still plastered over his face. "It's been about ten years since I moved here...I hope most of it's still the same."

"I'm sure it will be, love." I grin back at him. His smile it contagious. "Do you want grilled cheese for lunch?"

"With ham, s'il vous plait!"

"Of course." I reply, pulling the ham out of the fridge. "Laf, why aren't you wearing your beanie?" I ask, noticing that, unlike usual, it's not on his head.

"What?" His hands fly to the top of his head. "I thought I put it on!" He looks panicked. "I don't know where I would've put it!"

"Hey, it's alright. Calm down." I say, putting both of my hands on his shoulders. "You'll find it, alright? Deep breaths, lots of deep breaths."

His breathing slowly steadies out. "Help me find it, James."

"I will, I'll help you find it." I say softly. "Let's go look in our room, okay?"

"D'accord."

I help him to his feet and he follows me into our room. "Where'd you set it last night?"

"On...on my night stand." He stutters out, struggling to hold everything together. "I'm-I'm sorry for making such a big deal out of this..."

"No, don't be sorry, love. It's alright. We'll find it. I don't know the exact reason why he wants it so bad, but it must be special in some way for him to be freaking out like this. I look around his nightstand and see that the beanie has fallen between it and the wall. I pull it forward and grap the headpiece, handing it to Laf. "There you go, love. Told you we'd find it."

He grabs it and hugs it tightly to himself. Rocking gently back and forth. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry, Herc, I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's alright." I try to comfort him, but tears continue rolling down his cheeks. "What's wrong?"

"This...this was Herc's beanie. He g-gave it to m-me...how could I have been so stupid as to lose it?"

"Shh...you're not stupid, Laf. We all misplace things. It's okay." I hug him tightly. "It's okay." We just sit there for a moment as Laf tries to calm down. "It's okay, love." I say again. "No one's mad at you."

"I'm mad at myself."

"Don't be. You just made a mistake." I kiss him lightly. "About I go make grilled cheese now, okay?"

"A-alright." He tugs the beanie over his head, the tears slowly stopping as we walk back into the kitchen. "S-sorry."

"I already told you there's nothing to apologize for." I kiss him again, and again, and again, until he stops crying. "You don't need to be sorry."

He hugs me tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too. But I need you to let go of me so I can make grilled cheese, okay?"

"D'accord." He releases me, but looks reluctant to do so. I give him a warm smile before grabbing the bread, cheese, and butter. He sat in silence, watching as I began making the sandwiches.

"Hey. Is everything alright?"

"Oui, why wouldn't I be?"

"You're just really quiet."

"Not as quiet as I could be." He snaps, a tone of voice he rarely uses with me. "Sorry...just...I have too many thoughts. I'm trying to be he best I can for you, but I'm scared you're going to end up hating me."

"Laf, I will never hate you. Just tell me what's wrong if you want to, but if you don't, that's okay, too. John and Alex told me that you...that you went silent in senior year of high school. I'm sorry I wasn't the friend I should've been then. But if you do ever go silent again, I'll still love you, but I will miss hearing your beautiful voice."

He smiles. "That's really sweet. It also sounds scripted."

"I can assure you it's not." I grin back.

"Alright."

I finish making the grilled cheese and plate each of them before sitting down next to Laf. "So...um, well, I was wondering..." I start awkwardly.

"Yes?"

"Well, I didn't have enough money to do it before, but now, well, if I can use some of your money—"

"James, it's our money. Not mine."

"Right, well, anyway, it doesn't have to be right away, just maybe sometime within the year, um...I want to get surgery..." My voice gets really quiet.

He looks confused. "Surgery...for what?"

I blush. "So, um...so I don't have to...to wear a binder anymore. And for, um, for implants..."

"Oh. Oui, of course you can get surgery, if that will make you happy. Speaking of your binder, shouldn't you take it off? You've been wearing it since yesterday, and aren't you only supposed to have it on for eight hours?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

"I know that Thomas used to force you to take it off...I'm not trying to do that to you! I'm only looking out for your well-being...sorry..."

"Laf, you're fine. I know. I know you wouldn't do that to me..." I reply. "I'm just...kinda uncomfortable having it off around you...I know you'll love me no matter what, but I'm always kinda scared..."

"Oh, mon cheri, I'm sorry. We can schedule your surgery soon, if that'll make you feel any better."

"Okay. And you're right, I probably should take it off. Thank you for listening."

"Of course."