Okay... there is going to be at least 1 blow up.
Chapter 45:
"Ruby..." The frail voice spoke, just cracking causing Ruby to snap towards the red haired woman standing in the door frame.
The look of abject terror in her eyes and something that Ruby couldn't quite discern. All she could tell was the terror.
Terror that lead to the woman nearly sprinting out. Something that Ruby was quick to shove Sun out of the way to try and get to the woman who could do so much to Ruby. Both good and bad things. And she had no doubt that Pyrrha would do something bad for Ruby. Not that she could blame her.
What had just been revealed accidentally to her, was world shattering. And all Ruby seemed to do was cause more pain. Something that she knew wasn't her intention, but she had no option but to do it.
Pyrrha's wrist just slipping out of her fingertips, caused Ruby to just bite her lip as she knew that she had to stop her wife from running out of the home and doing something that she would regret.
"Pyrrha. Wait." Ruby said as she made another lunge for her wife's hand. Something that she was glad that she could just grab onto just as Pyrrha's hand rested on the door handle causing Ruby to just take a deep breath. "I can explain Pyrrha." Ruby said, knowing that she had said that exact same thing dozens of times over. But somehow...
This felt far more real than all the times she had said it before. She had no doubt the reason was, she actually knew that she could explain it at least mostly, and it wouldn't be a lie. The question in Ruby's mind ultimately really was down to whether Pyrrha would believe her.
Walking carefully between Pyrrha and the door, just to block her exit path a little, Ruby could finally recognise the other feeling that was strewn in Pyrrha's eyes.
It was pain.
Pain from something she caused.
Pain that was starting to mar her beautiful face with tears.
"I promise, I can explain all of it." Ruby said again, hoping suddenly that she actually could. For whatever reason it was seeming a harder and harder thing. She didn't know if she'd be able to explain it to a degree that Pyrrha would be able to at least be happy enough to not be hurt as much as she had been.
"Dumbass! Take Octavia out!" Ruby yelled down the hallway as she quickly looked towards the couch to see the other red head rolling her eyes. Something that she knew was probably from her needing to leave the house once again.
Looking down, Ruby smiled faintly at the sight of Sun walking out of the bathroom finally, a slight look of anger in his eyes as he gestured towards the door as Octavia at least smiled a little causing Ruby to just take some deep breaths.
Gently prying Pyrrha's hand off of the door handle, Ruby carefully moved her out of the way. Just so the duo could leave them alone for at least long enough to have this conversation. Even if it was Pyrrha wanting to destroy every part of her.
If Pyrrha wanted to do that, Ruby would be perfectly fine with exposing her belly to Pyrrha and letting her do whatever it was that she wanted to. Something that increased at least five fold as she stared into the misty green eyes of Pyrrha.
As Sun passed, Ruby winced as she felt him slamming his fist into her arm. It was something that she knew that she deserved. She forgot how much she had hurt Sun as well. But if Ruby was being honest, she knew that he would forgive her quickly and she'd be fine with it.
Especially with all the shit they had been through together. Some of which had been just as life threatening. But now... now with Pyrrha just clearly resisting the urge to fight herself free from Ruby's hands, she had no doubt that Pyrrha just wanted to run. Something that Ruby wouldn't even blame her.
At least not until she came back. If anyone should be the one to leave it should have been her. She was the one to practically destroy everything that they both had worked so hard to get. Nearly everything was on fire, and all Ruby did was start it.
As the door closed, Ruby let go of Pyrrha's hands, not trusting her heart would be able to take it if Pyrrha was to wretch her hands free from her grasp. She knew that Pyrrha was hurting, and she knew that she could at least soften the blow that was her destroying Ruby just as bad emotionally as when Weiss broke up with her... she at least knew that Pyrrha wasn't going to be as cutthroat about it.
Gulping what she hoped wasn't as audible to Pyrrha as it was to her. Just because she didn't want to seem weak or like this wasn't what she wanted. This was exactly what she wanted to explain this to Pyrrha. Even if she didn't know it at that exact second.
"Let's go have a seat Pyrrha." Ruby said softly as Pyrrha almost glared harshly at her. Something that just stung to her just as much as the tears. But she knew that she deserved the harshness in Pyrrha's eyes. "Fine we don't. I just wanted you to be comfortable with the shit I have to talk about." Ruby said trying to at least make sure that Pyrrha was at least comfortable with the amount of shit that had been on Ruby's chest.
As she spoke that, Ruby was at least glad at the sight of Pyrrha turning around swiftly and nearly storming towards the couch where she took a seat and crossed her arms over her chest and just stared intently at Ruby who followed closely behind. The sole thought in her head was how this was the real point of how it was due or die for her marriage. And she just hoped that she could prove to Pyrrha that everything is the exact same.
"What I'm guessing you found, it is heroin. But I haven't used it. The drug tests last night were proof of that, to go with the lack of any sort of withdrawal side effects." Ruby began as she could feel her throat almost tightening. She felt like she just couldn't really explain the situation as well as she thought. Just everything seemed to be dying in her throat.
"THEN WHY THE FUCK HAVE IT!?" Pyrrha yelled as her already harsh glare seemed to have harshened by just the mere act of meeting Ruby's eyes. The betrayal she was feeling was something that just kept mounting more and more. It was at the point where Pyrrha wasn't even sure if Ruby was even the same Ruby that she had fallen in love with. "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU KEEP SOMETHING LIKE THAT RUBY!?"
Deciding to go for broke, Ruby knew that her honesty might at least preserve something that they had together. "I found it when I found your sister at our reception! And I don't know why I've kept it. I've had countless chances between Adam and every fibre of my being screaming at me to dump it into the toilet or hand it to literally any White Fang or Grimm member I see near enough on a daily basis. But I just can't. Every time I've wanted to tell you or anyone the same thing stopped me." Ruby said as she walked a few steps towards Pyrrha. "That is what has ultimately been on my mind Pyrrha. Not that I want to use again, not that I know it was your sisters... but how can I get rid of it and tell you I had it. I never wanted to hurt you." Ruby pleaded feeling her eyes starting to mist over.
She wasn't sure why, but if she was being honest she could have a pretty solid guess at the fact that this was starting to become at least a little reminiscent of her and Weiss. How she desperately wants everything to stay the same and is pleading with a woman who if she wanted to could actually destroy her emotionally with retaliative ease. The only difference though is the fact that this time, she would have done it willingly herself, and she couldn't turn to drugs to numb the pain she'd be in. Pain she knew that she rightfully deserved.
"And what if you could never have figured it out Ruby? What if you fell and I didn't know? I didn't know because you didn't tell me." Pyrrha stated standing up and reaching into her pocket and pulled out the baggie. "What if this was enough to make you overdose and I'd become a widow before our first year anniversary? And with all this pressure you've put yourself under... something would have to have give if I didn't find it Ruby! You would have snapped at people. Or worse." Pyrrha said as she tossed the plastic bag onto the coffee table behind Ruby.
"There it is. There it is if you want to toss away everything you've worked for, everything we've worked for together. I need to go out and think things through." Pyrrha said as she stood up and walked out of the home, slamming the door shut.
As that sound reverberated through the apartment, Ruby could feel her heart sink. Slowly slinking towards the couch, Ruby plopped down onto it and took some deep breaths. Grabbing the side of her head, Ruby let out an aggravated scream.
Everything was seeming more and more terrible to Ruby. Something that only increased as she felt a small wetness as she slammed her arm against the couch. She just had to ignore it. Something that became easier as she started to weave her fingers into her hair and just wanted to pull her hair.
Taking a deep breath as she let out another scream, Ruby bent forward and grabbed the plastic bag that had been the cause of all her problems. Something she knew that she could end the entire pain it had caused very easily. She knew that she could just shoot it up and be done with everything. She wouldn't feel anything ever again. No pain. No misery.
She'd be able to go numb once again.
A feeling that she felt like if anything that she needed at this exact moment. Tossing the bag back onto the table, Ruby glanced down to the bandages her arm had been wrapped in and could see the faint red dots coming from where the stitches had just been replaced. Something that just made her want to scream for that alone, it would probably be the easiest pain that she could deal with.
The pain that she was in from hurting Pyrrha was just so much worse. It was a pain that she knew from her brief experience that it was a pain that no amount of heroin would make it bearable. The only thing that did was the passage of time. Something that was just a lot easier when a person was shooting up.
The way she wanted to be that numb so she could focus solely on that pain. Something she couldn't exactly do while her body was screaming at her. Sliding the offending article into her pocket, Ruby knew what she could do. Something that she was positive that would solve seemingly all the problems that had kept popping their heads up.
She just had to do one thing first. Namely the repairing of her arm once again. Something she hoped that she'd be able to stand before her body gave out from the sheer pain it was in. Pain that wasn't being helped with the amount of blood she had lost in a short amount of time.
Picking up the super glue, Ruby was happy that it seemingly hadn't dried shut just yet. It meant that she could easily use what remained and hopefully get through this entire situation without needing to sew her arm shut for the second time that day. She might be able to get rid of every problem at once.
Author's Note:
Oh... it is getting up there... nearly done and we had at least one explosion... but what is Ruby planing?
