Disclaimer: One Tree Hill, Nathan, Haley, and the others belong to Mark Schwahn, Warner Bros, The CW, etc..
Note: I can't believe I've been updating this often. I can't promise I'll keep it up, but I will try. I like being able to update this often. Anyway, this chapter isn't heavy on the dialogue at all. There also aren't a lot of line breaks. I think it works better that way. I actually am really happy with how it came out. I hope you like it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
In the months since Christmas, Haley and Nathan's lives hadn't slowed down. Her album was released and was a huge success. Tickets for her summer tour were nearly sold out. To top it all off, less than a month earlier she had won an Oscar for her song for Julian's latest movie. Nathan had, of course, accompanied her to the ceremony. When her name was called, he stood and cheered for her. He watched her from the audience as she gave her acceptance speech. From that stage, her eyes never left his.
They were now knee deep in two different things. Nathan had been working even harder on getting his knee back into playing shape. The better he did, the more he tried. He found his successes were almost as good for motivation as Haley and Sam cheering him on. They did cheer him on. They were right there with him. They were standing on the sidelines as he made his first dunk since before the accident. They watched him with awe and cheered when he landed back on the ground without feeling any pain. He and Haley both had tears in their eyes.
Lucas was also a big help. He and Nathan were working together several times a week. He took the job very seriously. A large part of Nathan knew that his brother was getting a kick out of bossing him around, but he knew it was for the best. Lucas would stand by with a stop watch and whistle as he drilled Nathan through various exercises. Lucas was happy to see Nathan so motivated. He was happy to see Haley and Sam cheering him on.
Their other task was planning their wedding. They'd been swamped with plans, but things were going smoother than they'd anticipated. It helped that they only wanted a small wedding. Mia had agreed to perform. In fact, she had jumped with excitement when they'd asked. Brooke had flown to Tree Hill several times to work on the exact set up that Haley and she had discussed. It was all based on Nathan's idea of how things would be positioned during the ceremony.
Even though she hated leaving Nathan and Sam, Haley had gone with Brooke on one of these trips to Tree Hill. The two of them had discreetly gone around town trying to find a good place for the reception. Haley also got some ideas for flowers and a few other things that she brought home to Nathan.
While having lunch at the Café one day, Haley had the idea of Karen catering the wedding. Having declared five minutes earlier that Karen's Caesar salad beat anything in Los Angeles, Brooke couldn't argue with Haley's choice. They had discussed it with Karen. Haley would have understood if Karen didn't want to feed that many people. Karen was thrilled to be asked, though. She was more than happy to contribute to the wedding.
Even though Haley hated being away from Nathan and Sam, she loved that she didn't have to worry about Sam while she was away. She'd been gone for two nights and it was the longest time she had ever spent away from her son. It was also the longest distance she had ever been from him. Even though she knew she didn't have to worry, she stilled called several times a day.
Nathan wasn't surprised. In fact, he looked forward to her calls. The more she called the better. They hadn't been apart since he moved in six months earlier. He was glad they were making plans and that she and Brooke were so busy, but he missed her.
When he picked them up from the airport, he literally picked Haley up. Seeing her by baggage claim, he picked her up off of the ground so that her feet were at least a foot off the ground. He kissed her and tried putting all of his feelings about how much he'd missed her into that kiss. Neither were surprised when paparazzi photos of the two showed up online the next day. They didn't mind things like that. They knew they were in public and people could see them, but they were in love and they'd missed each other. Neither really knew how they managed being apart. It was like having a limb missing.
She had missed Sam as much as she had missed Nathan and couldn't help but smother him when she saw him. She could have sworn he'd grown three inches in the few days she'd been gone. He assured her he hadn't, but she insisted. While her hand was firmly in Nathan's, she kept asking Sam a series of questions. She wanted to know everything he'd done in school while she was gone. She'd wanted to know what he did with his time after school and what he'd had for dinner. She was pleased to know that he and Nathan had made sure his homework was done and that he ate healthy.
Sam went into great detail about helping Nathan with training. The two of them, along with Lucas, had been working hard. It was more important than ever. Nathan would, within days, be meeting with doctors and team management to discuss his progress.
When they got home from the airport, the family had a quiet dinner together. While eating, Haley and Nathan discussed all of their wedding plans. She went over everything that she and Brooke had discussed. The discussions were coming so easily to them. Nathan had a few ideas, but he loved most of Haley's. He couldn't think of anyone better to provide the food than Karen. His eyes lit up when Haley mentioned that Karen suggested prime rib as a main course. The event would be great just because he was marrying Haley, but if he could have prime rib too that would be great.
Haley had brought pictures with her of some of the flower arrangements she had been shown. The local Tree Hill florist had been incredibly kind and helpful. Haley had no worries about anyone in Tree Hill spilling the beans about their wedding location or date. There were two arrangements of flowers that Haley couldn't decide between. She loved them both, but wasn't sure which she liked best. Nathan had immediately taken a liking to one of them. That was the one they had chosen.
Haley loved that he was taking such an interest in their wedding. He honestly wanted to help with every decision. He had even cornered Brooke at her office to ask about his and Sam's tuxes. Brooke had been surprised, but was glad to know he was taking such an interest. Despite that, she refused to let him see what he would be wearing. When he came back home, Haley had laughed. She could have told him Brooke wouldn't budge.
Nathan flipped through the channels trying to find something to watch. Sam was fast asleep and Haley was next to him in their bed, a book in front of her. She had her reading glasses on. She didn't wear them often, but she was starting to think she should. She was realizing she needed them more and more when she was just sitting around with a book. Nathan hadn't told her, but he found the glasses kind of hot. He thought she looked like a sexy librarian or teacher. Especially with her hair in a messy bun. He couldn't help it. His girl was hot no matter what she was in.
He was glad for the distraction he was getting from both the TV and from stealing glances at Haley. It was helping him not think about what he had to do the next day. The next day would be difficult and he was anxious. Haley would be with him and that was keeping him from going crazy. Instinctively, he reached between the small space separating them and took her hand. Feeling the warmth of her hand in his own made a difference. It immediately calmed his nerves.
Haley knew what he was thinking and feeling. He didn't have to say it. She knew it the moment he took her hand. Instead of saying anything to him, instead of giving him some speech that no matter what he'd be okay, she brought her lips to his in a soft kiss. He felt her lips smile against his before she pulled away. She gave his hand a squeeze, set her book down, and leaned against him.
That was exactly what he needed. That was what was going to help him get through this.
The next morning, Nathan woke up earlier than Haley. She was usually up before him. He brewed a pot of coffee before going outside. In the backyard, he stared at the basketball hoop. This was the day he would be finding out if he was ever going to play professional basketball again. Every doctor's appointment was better than the last. Dr. Wood was constantly expressing his enthusiasm for Nathan's progress. While the doctor hadn't definitively said that Nathan could play, Nathan couldn't help but feel some level of confidence.
He didn't want to get his hopes up, though. He had been the one to try to remind Haley that he had been told he would never play again. When she wanted to offer encouragement and tell him not to let go of his dream, he had been the one to try and ground things back in reality.
But her enthusiasm had worked. He wanted to play again. He wanted to know if he'd be able to. He had waited until the last possible moment to let himself hope. Despite Dan's injury and the problems it caused growing up, Nathan had never let himself fully consider what would happen to him if he were to be injured. The past ten months he had been forced to. He'd thought about it a lot. He had thought about it when he was drinking, when he was sober. He thought about it when he was with Haley and he thought about it during the few days when he thought he'd lost her. He had thought about it and had prepared himself for it. But now he was letting himself hope.
He didn't pick up a basketball. He didn't make a move to play. He stood in front of the net with his cup of coffee and stared at it. His pajama pants were low on his hips, he was shirtless, and he was barefoot. He stood there watching the hoop. The nylon net swayed a little from the light morning breeze blowing through.
"Hey," Haley alerted him to her presence. She walked out the door to him, her bare feet making her journey silent. She wrapped her arms around herself, her thin robe not enough to keep her warm. When she reached him, she placed a comforting hand on his forearm. A few strands of her loose falling hair were blown into her face from the breeze and she moved them aside, tucking them behind her ear.
Looking at Haley and seeing the level of concern in her eyes, Nathan knew that whatever happened he was going to be just fine.
"Are you ready for today?"
Nathan gave a silent nod. He could see her shivering and handed her his coffee before leading her inside. She took a sip, the warm liquid instantly taking the chill away.
Nathan had barely let go of Haley's hand since they left the house. The two of them had gotten Sam ready for school and dropped him off. Sam had handed Nathan a homemade card before they left, wishing him luck. Along with Haley's presence, Sam's was also giving Nathan a strong dose of courage. He hadn't let go of her hand since they'd dropped Sam off at school. He didn't let go of it while they were driving to the doctor's office. He didn't let go of it on the elevator, or while he signed in. He didn't let go of it as they sat and waited to be called in.
Once he had been called in he went through a series of exercise. They had him in the pool. They had him doing some muscle exercises. They did x-rays and a few scans. Haley waited for Nathan as he completed everything. She sat in her chair fidgeting, glancing at the clock, and playing Angry Birds on her phone. The two then had to wait together while the doctors and specialists looked over the results.
It had seemed like they waited for several hours to be called back in. Knowing it would take over an hour, the two walked down the street for a quick bite to eat. They ate in silence. Haley wanted to tell him something that would reassure him, but the right words wouldn't come. She wasn't aware that just by being there, she was helping him immensely.
When they got back to the doctor's office they again waited. Eventually, after what seemed like an excruciating wait, they were called in. Instead of being in an exam room, they met in Dr. Wood's office. It was much more comfortable. Nathan and Haley sat next to each other on the small couch while Dr. Wood and Mitchell Stuart sat in chairs just opposite them. On one of the walls was an x-ray display. Two x-rays were on there. Nathan assumed they were his.
Haley kept her fingers intertwined with Nathan's as they waited for the doctor to speak.
"Well, Nathan, as you know, we've been keeping track of your knee for every appointment you've had since the accident. We've been keeping a very close watch on your progress. We told you that you would never play professionally again. Nathan, we honestly believed you would never play again. No athlete has ever come back after something like this.
"I don't know what you did, Nathan, but you did it. You did everything right. You can play," Dr. Wood's voice sounded like it wanted to continue.
Nathan and Haley both let out a breath neither knew they had been holding. Haley quickly leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.
"There's a caveat, Nathan," Dr. Wood told him. "There's more."
"What do you mean?"
"The muscle and tissue around your knee has healed, but it's temporary. You could play, even if you have to play a little differently. You could play at a professional level. You just couldn't play for very long. This is going to be your decision, Nathan.
"Your knee is now even more susceptible to re-injury. If you injure it again, you're done. I know we told you that you were done before, but this time it's for sure. It you injure it again, and there's a strong chance you will, you'll lose the knee. At best, you'll be limping for the rest of your life."
Nathan felt his heart stop. Everything else the doctor was saying was a blur to him. The only thing he could hear was that he could lose the knee for good. If limping were the best case scenario, did he want to ask what the worse would be? He felt Haley's grip on him tighten.
"Nathan, obviously, we're very pleased with the work you've done. We know that you have a lot to think about. This decision is yours. But, if you have any questions, please feel free to call my office."
Nathan barely noticed that Haley took the keys from his hand as they walked out of the office, or that she guided him to the passenger side of the car. His mind was reeling. He could play, but it would come at a cost. What cost? Would he be limping for the rest of his life? He was only in his mid-twenties. Would he no longer be able to walk?
He was still thinking when he and Haley walked back into their house.
"Nathan," her voice broke him from his reverie. It was the first she'd spoken to him since they found out.
Haley was trying to hide how scared she was for him. Getting his dream back was within his grasp. There were risks and those risks terrified her. She tried swallowing it down and hiding it. She wanted to be strong for him. She supposed it could be worse. It had been worse just after the accident when he was in surgery. She didn't know if he'd be coming out alive. He did. It had been tough, but they made it to the place where they were now. But now more than just the game was at stake.
"Nathan, do you want me to see if Sam can stay with Andre tonight?"
Nathan blinked and let her words sink in. Sam. Their son. Mrs. Fields would be dropping him off soon.
"No," he answered. "No. I don't want that. I want Sam to come home."
She was glad to hear it. He wasn't pushing them away. Haley didn't want to have those fears, but she couldn't help it. Haley closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you," she whispered in his ear. "No matter what you decide, I love you and I'm here."
His arms found their way around her. He closed his eyes and rested his head on her shoulder. He breathed in the scent of her shampoo. He held on for dear life. She was going to be his anchor through this.
It wasn't long before Sam got home. The boy came bounding in the house and ran up to his father. Nathan instinctively picked him up and balanced him on his hip.
"Today, we got to build volcanoes at school!"
"Did you?"
"It was so cool, daddy! We made lava come out of it and everything!"
"It sounds cool! You even learned what lava is!"
"Uh huh. It's like fire but like water but like fire!"
Nathan laughed a little.
"Can we go play basketball, daddy?"
Nathan didn't think. He turned and carried his son to the backyard. Once outside, he set Sam down on the ground. Sam ran for the large ball and picked it up. Even though Sam had his shorter hoop and smaller ball, he went for the larger ball. He wanted to play with the big hoop, the one he couldn't even possibly reach.
He tried to dribble the ball, needing both hands to do it. He stood in front of Nathan and smiled.
Nathan quickly swooped in and stole the ball from Sam. Both of them were smiling. Nathan was able to dribble the ball with one hand and then took a shot. Sam ran for the ball and as he grabbed it, Nathan picked his son up and put him on his shoulders.
With Sam securely on his shoulders, Nathan dribbled the ball a few times. When they ended up closer to the net, he handed the ball to Sam. Sam shot and the ball went in. It was much easier when he was on Nathan's shoulders and well over six feet tall.
Haley watched from the door as her two boys played in the backyard. They both looked like they didn't have a care in the world even though she knew that wasn't true. For the moment, though, Nathan seemed like he was able to forget everything going on.
The two of them were running around the backyard and playing. For every move Sam made, Nathan went after him. They were laughing the entire time. They stayed out there until Haley called them both in for dinner. When they walked in the house, they were still laughing.
That night, Sam fell asleep on the sofa between Nathan and Haley. When Nathan looked at the clock and noticed that it was Sam's bedtime, he scooped him up into his arms and carried him upstairs and to his room. He did it with ease. He did it without any trouble at all. He kneeled at Sam's bed, tucking his son in for the night and leaving a kiss on his forehead.
When Nathan and Haley climbed into bed that night, he reached over and held her. They whispered I love yous and fell asleep in each other's arms. Haley knew that Nathan would talk when he was ready to. He wasn't ready yet. He hadn't pushed them away. In fact, he had brought Sam and Haley closer. He reached out for them literally and figuratively. Other than the fact that they both knew something was going on, everything that night had been normal.
Just as he had the morning before, Nathan stood looking at the basketball hoop in the backyard as the sun came up. This time there was no cup of coffee. This time he had slippers on his feet and his Duke hoodie on with his pajama bottoms. He stared at the hoop. He looked at the nylon net and the backboard. He would look at the basketball lying near it.
Just as she had the morning before, Haley walked out to where Nathan was. She knew what he was thinking about. She placed her hand on his arm and brought his attention to her. She offered a warm smile.
Nathan looked at his fiancée. He saw love in her eyes. He saw acceptance, he saw concern. He had been thinking for hours now.
"Did you sleep?"
He shrugged. He hadn't slept much. He kept waking up and thinking and apparently, she could tell. He reached and placed a strand of hair behind her ear. Instead of taking his hand back, he kept it on her cheek. Haley covered his hand with her own and took one step closer to him.
Nathan felt tears come to his eyes. He moved his mouth to speak, but couldn't.
"Nathan…"
"I can't do it, Hales. I can't do it."
"Can't do what?" Could he not give up his dream? Was that what he was about to tell her?
"I can't… I can't lose this, Hales."
She stared at him. She still wasn't sure what he was saying, but her heart was breaking for him. He looked so broken and lost. The only thing she could think of to do was to stand even closer to him and take her free arm and wrap it around his waist. She could feel tears beginning in her own eyes. She hated seeing him broken like this.
"I can't lose you guys."
"Oh, Nathan." Haley leaned on her tip toes and kissed him. "You will never lose us."
"Hales, what if I can't play with Sam anymore?" A few tears fell down his cheeks. "What if we can't play basketball like we did last night? Or what if I can't carry him up to bed like I did last night? And what about when we have more kids? What if I can't do that stuff with them? What kind of dad would I be? I would be useless."
"You listen to me, Nathan Scott. You will never be useless to your family. You will not be useless. If you decide to play basketball and you get hurt, you will not be useless. As long as you love us, you're not going to be useless."
He nodded. He sniffled and wiped a tear from his eyes.
"Haley, I can't do it," he repeated what he said just moments earlier. "I can't take that risk. I can't lose that with this family. It's not… it's not worth it."
Haley flung herself into Nathan's arms, both of them still letting a few tears fall.
"Be sure about this, Nathan."
"I am. I've been thinking about it all night."
"Nathan, this is your dream. You're saying your dream isn't worth it. You have to be sure about this."
He broke their hug, but kept holding her hands. "I've lived without basketball for months now. Almost a year. I know I can do it. I don't ever want to lose anything with you and Sam. It kills me to think I might not be able to do everything with you guys. It's just… it's not worth it, Hales."
"If you're sure you know I'm here with you for everything. I told you, I'm going to love you if you pick up garbage and I'll even be your sugar momma."
Nathan managed a small laugh. Having told Haley how he was feeling, he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had told her everything. She knew every fear he had. He had thought about it after he and Sam played the night before. He thought about it even more after tucking Sam in at night.
Basketball was his first love. But the high he got from playing didn't compare to the high he got from being with Haley and from being Sam's father. Nothing compared to that.
"You're sure?"
He nodded and pulled her in for a hug. "Our family is worth everything to me. Nothing means more."
Nathan spent the next few days informing people close to him of his decision. It had been hardest explaining it to Sam. Sam loved that Nathan played basketball. He loved wearing his dad's jersey and cheering him on as he played. Nathan had needed Haley's assurance that he wasn't Sam's hero just because he played basketball. He was Sam's hero because he was the first man to take on the role of father in Sam's life. He would be the only man taking on that role. As long as he was a good father to Sam, he would be the boy's hero.
Everyone had supported Nathan's decision. They were there for him and offered him their encouragement. Haley was by his side through everything. He had made a huge decision about his life. He chose to step away from something that had been a constant in his life. He was now going to have to rebuild his life.
As Haley had told him months earlier, he wasn't just great at playing basketball, he was great at being a father and fiancé to Haley. He was great with them. He was a great brother to Lucas and he was a great friend.
A part of Nathan was scared for what was going to come next. His plans had always revolved around basketball and now he definitely knew that was gone. He had plans. He had plans to marry Haley, be a father to Sam, and eventually to expand their family. Now, it wasn't his job coming first in his life. His family came first. This was the family that he knew Lucas had and that he hadn't even realized he wanted. Basketball had been a way of life. His family wasn't a way of life, it was his life. That was his salvation through this.
After telling Sam, the hardest thing he had to do was announce to the public that he would be retiring. He had to call a press conference. Clay explained that he could put it off until he was feeling better. Nathan wanted to get it over with. The sooner it was done, the sooner he could get on with his life. Clay had described it as his new life, but it wasn't really new. It was the life he'd been living since he first committed to his recovery after the accident. It was one that he knew he could do.
He began realizing that he had hope all along. There had been some glimmer of hope the entire time he was recovering. That hope was gone, but he wasn't hopeless. He had been recovering and he knew now that in the back of his mind, it was with the goal of proving the doctors wrong and being able to play again. He had done that. They were shocked by his recovery. He had defied the odds. He had just never considered what they told him.
He faced the press at the Staples Center. Sam was off to the side with Brooke and Peyton. Unlike the last press conference he held, this time no one from the team was with him. It was just Nathan and Haley there. He could have done it alone, but he asked Haley to be there with him. She agreed without hesitation. She was happy to do it. Neither would have dreamed of having Sam up there, though. They wanted him to have his privacy. He was just a kid.
So, Nathan, with Haley at his side, announced to the public that he was retiring from professional basketball. He had explained a bit of what the doctor told him. He had explained that he couldn't risk not having a full life with his family. He had explained that his family was the most important thing in his life, that they would always come first.
He decided not to take any questions after his announcement. He and Haley silently walked off the stage amidst a flurry of flashes and questions being thrown at them. They said nothing. Hand in hand, they left the podium and headed to their loved ones.
"You're very brave," Haley told him when they were side by side in their bed that night. "I'm very proud of you, Nathan."
"I didn't do anything."
"Yes, you did. Nathan, you're committing to rebuilding your life."
"No, I'm not. Hales, I already had this life. I've had this life. This has been my life for months now and it's the life I want. I'm not rebuilding anything."
"Can I tell you something?"
"You can tell me anything, Hales."
"I was thinking about how much you were gone when you were playing. I know you love the game. I know how much you love playing. But there's a selfish part of me that's glad you won't be going anywhere and that you're staying right here with me. Those two nights I was in Tree Hill, I didn't sleep as well as I do when you're next to me."
Nathan kissed her forehead. "I'm glad I'm not going anywhere either. I thought of that. I thought about leaving you and Sam when we have away games. I don't want that. I don't want to miss anything with you guys. So, that's okay. I'm happy about that too."
They were quiet for a little bit.
"Guess I'm gonna have to find a new job," Nathan mused.
"Nah.
"No?"
"No. I told you. I'm you're sugar momma."
Nathan laughed. "You know, Lucas made me invest. I have my money more than saved."
"Can I still pretend I'm your sugar momma?" Haley sat up and straddled Nathan's lap. She leaned in and kissed him.
"Yeah, if you want to do that, we can do that," Nathan smiled. "I love you."
"I love you too."
Note: I don't know how accurate the medical stuff is. I didn't look it up at all. It's just what fit for the story. So, there you have it. Nathan is done with basketball. It felt like the right thing to do. Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)
