Chapter 54
Boggs
I hold the pants in front of my eyes. Days ago I ventured out on the horse, and luckily, not long I stumbled upon a solitary farmhouse. From behind a pile of chopped wood where I decided to hide, I spotted the lines in the yard crammed with laundry left to dry. Lou and I are in dire need of new clothes, so when after watching the house for almost an hour and realizing there was no sign of movement, I rushed and snatched some shirts, pants, and even long johns. Just as fast, I ran away and jumped onto my horse before I was caught red-handed and had to face an irate farmer.
Now holding one pair of pants before me, I realize that they are huge. The man living there must be twice my size, and I'm sure Lou could fit her hips into just one pant leg. I sigh tiredly. I'll have to alter these garments, and I'm so clumsy with a needle. There's a reason why this ain't something men are born to do, and I'm definitely not cut out to be a tailor, but what else can I do? We need new clothes.
I steal a look at the portrait of my beloved late wife that presides on the mantelpiece. "I know what you're thinking," I say aloud. I usually have long conversations with her. She might be dead, but wherever she is, I know she can hear me. I feel it in my heart. Talking to Mary Louise makes me miss her a little less. "This serves me right for stealing. I guess that's true, but you also know I don't have many other options."
I'm a fugitive, and if the law caught me, they'd send me back to prison. I swore when I managed to flee that I'd never find myself in that fix again, and that's a promise I intend to stick whatever it takes. Thinking about being locked in that place again gives me the shivers. The only good thing that came from those horrible months is the discovery of the place I've made my and Lou's home. When I was in that prison, I had no desire to mingle with the scum I found there, so I kept to myself. However, I still had ears and eyes, and as luck would have it, I once overhead one of those criminals talking to another crook about his hideaway while I pretended to be sleeping. Luckily for me, a death sentence hung over that fella's head, and he was executed before I made my escape. It was a strike of good luck when I discovered the place existed for real, and not only that, it was just perfect to hide from the world and also to control Lou's stupid outbursts.
"I'm worried about our Lou," I speak again. "She was a bit under the weather this morning, and I guess I should check on her later." I stop and steal a glance at Mary Louise's portrait again. "You're proud of me, ain't you, my Mary? I've done everything to keep our baby safe. I almost failed when I let those men entrap and send me to jail, and I was so afraid for her, but thankfully, things are now the way they should be."
I looked away, unable to meet the fading picture of her dark eyes, because there's something untrue in my words. I can't say I feel proud of myself. This ain't the kind of life I should have liked to give my child. Living as a fugitive means we have to put up with too many lacks and inconveniences. Food is very sparse for us. My special circumstances force me to total isolation. I can't take risks. If the law caught up with me, I'd be a condemned man, just like the fella this hut belonged to. Not only am I a fugitive, but a murderer. I'm sure I killed that young man Lou claimed she wanted to marry. Her marrying some fella! Just ridiculous, and because of her stupidity, we are now suffering these dire conditions.
I can't buy seeds to plant, any kind of food, or whatever we need in the house. I have to keep safe for both our sakes, so over the years I've been forced to adapt to this very limited life. What's left for us to eat is what I forage from the small woods near our home, so with wild plants, mushrooms, and nuts, I get to make some bland soups or some other concoction. And I have to admit that I also do something I ain't proud of and nags at my conscience. About half an hour from here lives an elderly lady on her own. She's half-blind, and from time to time I manage to sneak into her cowshed and pilfer a pail of fresh milk. What can I say? It's something inexcusable, but Lou and I need food to survive. I can't even hunt like I used to. Shooting is out of the question, and even planting traps is something I can't afford doing. Somebody might hear the shoots or see the traps, and that would surely bring attention upon me and my existence in this area, and that would definitely result in very bad consequences for me and Lou.
"Maybe I should go and see how Lou is doing," I say to myself. I'm really worried, and naturally I can't afford to have her fall sick. Yesterday I picked a bunch of mint, so I decide to make some tea. When the water boils, I pour a cup and also grab the bottle of my tonic on my way outside.
It's a real nuisance to have Lou living in the underground shelter, but what else can I do? She has no consideration for her own well-being – I guess that's typical of her young age – but I know better. If it were for her, she would be out there, exposing herself to countless dangers. Silly girl! She's even tried to escape a few times, and I honestly don't understand why she ain't more grateful to me after all I'm doing for her sake.
"Lou!" I call as I climb down the stairs to the basement. "How are you feeling?" I get no answer, and as I take the last step down, I realize she's asleep. I'll have to wake her then. She needs to drink the tea and the tonic that will soon make her feel better.
I leave the cup and the tonic bottle next to the bed, and as I place my hand on her shoulder and shake her, I can feel heat emanating from her body. My hand rushes to her forehead. She's burning, and it is now that a revolting smell hits my nose, I realize she's been sick. "Lou! Lou! Wake up!" I call loudly, shaking her energetically, but she doesn't respond, which makes me more and more concerned. "Lou! Lou!" I keep calling her name over and over again, and in the end, to my utter relief, she grunts and opens her eyes just a crack. "Lou?" Her eyes are barely open, but I can tell she ain't seeing, and then she closes them again.
Lou's sick… very sick. I try to force the tonic down her throat, and even as I'm doing this, I know it is pointless. This won't help her much. She's never been so ill before, and I have no medicine, and I know that such high temperature will kill her if I can't lower it. She needs medicines and possibly a doctor, but I can't… I can't. If I bring a doctor here, he'll report me and it'll be the end of us. I can't do it. I just can't.
My eyes fall on her. How can I let her die without moving a finger? The meaning of my life lies on my daughter, and protecting her against all evil. And I know I'd go as far as jeopardizing my own safety for my Lou… my jewel.
I stoop and caress her hot forehead. "I'll bring help and you'll get well, my child," I whisper, and before I can lose my nerve, I rush up the stairs to brave the world that expects me outside.
The nearest town is over an hour from my hut. That fella from prison chose the place well for a hideaway, and it has been perfect for me as well. I'll try to lay low and act as discreetly as possible, but I tell myself I shouldn't worry. Nobody knows me, and we are miles and miles away from where I was first apprehended and from the prison I escaped from. It's been too long, and even if I'm still a wanted man, people ain't likely to recognize me at first sight.
When the first buildings appear, I wonder what I should do now. I leave the wagon next to the cemetery and walk towards the town. I have no idea where the doctor's office is, and I have no intention to ask around. The doctor, I imagine, must have his headquarters in the core of town where he can easily be reached in emergencies. One by one I study the buildings and facades I walk by. Opposite the covered walkway where I stand, I notice a door next to the seamstress's shop, and I spot a man with a coughing fit coming out. A few minutes later a man with his arm in a sling also walks out, and next it is a limping woman. I have the hunch this is the right place. Naturally, I just can't go inside. There are certain precautions I need to take, and when I get to approach the physician, it'll be done away from curious ears and eyes. I want to do anything in my power to save Lou's life, but I ain't ready to crucify myself willingly. Only the doctor will know of me and Lou. What will happen afterwards, I still haven't decided.
I keep watch of the doctor's office from my discreet position. A host of people come in and out of the place, but none of them look like a physician. The doctor, I'm sure, will have to leave at some point, and I trust my gut will help me to identify him.
I'm getting restless after waiting and waiting, but finally, a middle-aged man appears, carrying a distinctive doctor's leather bag. He starts up the street, and I follow him as close as it is possible without giving myself away. When he's about to cross an alley, I reach for his shoulder and push him into the alley strongly. "What on earth are you doing?" he cries out.
I give him a big shove and he stumbles against the wall. "Are you the doctor?" I ask because I need to know I haven't made a mistake.
"Yes, I am," he replies, straightening up and glaring in my direction. "Who the heck do you think you are? I don't appreciate being treated in this absolutely appalling way!"
I ignore his words. "You're coming with me now! My d…" I pause, clear my throat, and continue, "My son is very sick." Since Lou learned the truth I tried to hide for her own good, I had no reason to keep the illusion going for her. I can't deny she's a girl, but here nobody knows us or goes near us to mean any harm. But I won't trust this man even if he's the doctor. If he knows Lou's a girl, he might hurt her just like my Mary was harmed.
"I understand, but I'm afraid I have another emergency. I'll go see your son as soon as I finish at the Robinsons'. Just leave your address with me, and I'll be on my way presently."
His words fill me with sheer fury, and right now I'm glad I decided to bring my gun. Instantly, I grab it and aim at the doctor. "That ain't enough. You're coming with me right now. Didn't you hear me? My son's very sick. He might die, and if he does, you'll want to be dead too!"
I pull the gun hammer pointedly. The doctor's countenance has gone pale, and he's speechless. Just the reaction I expected, and now I know he'll do just as I say. We can't waste any more time. I push him towards the other end of the alley. It'll be less noticeable if we take the back street. I warn the doctor against drawing attention upon us or saying a word as we walk side by side towards the cemetery where I left the wagon. I've had to hide the gun lest somebody can see something suspicious, but fortunately, the street is deserted.
I order the doctor to take the reins and drive while I give him directions, all the time pointing the gun at him. I know I'm in big trouble again, and I'll probably have to kill the man in the end. How can I not? As soon as I let him go, he'll certainly tattle and the law will jump upon me. I can't allow that to happen. In any case, I can't think about that now. First, he has to make Lou better, and then we'll see.
Silence is suddenly broken when he asks, "What's wrong with your son?"
"The hell I know! You're the doctor, not me!"
"Is… is he feverish?"
"Burning, and he's been sick too. When I last checked on him, he was unconscious," I say, my voice lowering as concern squeezes my chest. "Maybe this has to do with the rat that bit him last night."
"A rat bit him?"
"Yes, a rat! Are you deaf or what? A damn rat! Do you think that can be what's making him so ill?"
"I can't know until I examine him, but it is a known fact that rats, and animals in general, can transmit a high number of diseases to humans."
We don't speak another word for the rest of the drive, and when the house finally comes into sight, I'm overwhelmed by utter relief that we are finally here. I order the doctor to stop the wagon, and I jump out and run to unlock the shelter door. "This way," I say to the doctor, who stares at me with badly-concealed bewilderment, but he doesn't dare to utter a word as he follows me down the stairs.
I rush to the bed where my daughter lies. "Lou! Lou!" I call loudly as I kneel before her still unconscious figure. "Lou! Sweetheart, I've brought the doctor! Can you hear me?"
She doesn't even stir. "Could you please let me?" the doctor asks, and I reluctantly move aside. I watch the man pull down the sheets, and then his stunned eyes shift to me. "But… but… this is a woman!"
"And if you hurt her in any way, I'll kill you!"
The doctor turns his attention to Lou calmly as if he hadn't heard me. "She truly has a very high temperature," he says, and I see him undo the bandage which I wrapped around her wrist this very morning. "That's a nasty bite indeed. Let's hope it's not rabies the animal has passed onto her."
"And if it is rabies?"
"In that case, I'm afraid there's nothing anybody, not even me, can do."
"You gotta make her better! That's what damn doctors are for!" I roar angrily, scared out of my wits at the possibility of losing Lou. I'm so furious and afraid that I'm tempted to pull the trigger and kill the bastard, but I know he's my only hope for Lou.
"I assure you I'll do everything I can."
"Then do it!" I snarl angrily and give him a strong push that almost makes him fall on top of Lou. The doctor glares at me as he straightens up. Then he rummages in his bag and starts pulling out some contractions and gadgets I've never lain eyes on before and I have no idea what they are for.
My quiet observation comes to a halt in the most perturbing way when in the silence of the room I hear a shot followed by a voice. "This is Sheriff Clarke from the United States of America. Surrender now and let Doctor Saunders go free! This is a warning, and for your own good, you'll do as you're told."
"What the hell?"
The doctor looks at me and says, "Somebody must have noticed something weird when we set off, and must have sent the sheriff after us."
But how? I made sure nobody saw me intercept the doctor. There was nobody around, but… but… maybe… maybe… oh God! I never checked there were no curious eyes behind the windows in the buildings. Some busybody must have seen me. How stupid of me, and I didn't even realize I was being followed!
I squeeze the gun between my hands, and when I notice the damn quack's eyes studying me, I spin around and once again I point the revolver at him. "Stop ogling me and get my daughter back to health!" I snap loudly.
"But… what are you going to do about the sheriff?"
"That's my problem, not yours. Now help my daughter!" From the row of objects the doctor has placed on the bed, he grabs what I imagine is some instrument to take her temperature. "I know she's got a fever, but we need to check her exact temperature and try to bring it down. I'm going to need some cold water and any rags you can get hold of."
I nod, and once again the sheriff's voice resounds from outside. "This is my last warning. Release Dr. Saunders at once, or we'll open fire!"
Those words ignite my anger even more. That damn sheriff will get my Lou killed. The whole world could explode for all I care, but no one is gonna hurt Lou. "Damn him! Damn him! Damn him!" I exclaim furiously as a powerful hatred fills my entrails and spreads to my heart. I press the gun between my fingers. Right now all I can think of is hurting those that plan to harm my child. "Ahhhhhhhhhh!" I cry loudly as I charge up the stairs almost in madness. As soon as I jump outside, I start shooting, and I hit one of the three men I spot behind some rocks. A barrage of bullets follows as the other men take aim at me. I have to kill them. I have to kill them, I repeat mentally as I use up all my bullets without much success. I'm in a vulnerable position, without any more ammunition and exposed to their shoots, and as if to prove my own thoughts, blood spurts and spills from my shoulder as a bullet hits me.
I'm reeling and frightened, not for myself but for Lou. I have to distract those men and lead them away from here. So I leave my position behind a water barrel and dash for the wagon. My shoulder hurts like hell, but I can't waste any single minute. I jump onto the wagon and flip the reins over the horse's back. As I race out of my property, I can hear horses behind me. The men are leaving and following me, just like I wanted. They're leaving Lou! Relief washes over me, but I can't stop yet. Now that they're after me, I'll have to lose their trace, which is not a simple task when I'm driving a wagon and they're on horseback. Driving the carriage at this speed is an ordeal, but at some point I don't even know where the horse is leading me. I'm blindly letting myself be carried away wherever the animal wants to go. They won't catch me! They won't catch me!
One of the wheels must have stumbled upon a big rock or a stump, and the next thing I know I'm collapsing and rolling on the ground. The wagon almost crushes me, but fortunately, only my leg is caught. Rapidly, I release my leg, and even though my shoulder hurts and my body now is all sore, I can't stop to think about that. I start running and running. I still can hear the men coming after me, and I keep repeating the same. They won't catch me! They won't catch me!
I run and run, and my chest can hardly take it. This is leading nowhere. Those men on horse will soon catch up with me, but I won't give up easily. I'm breathless, and my legs seem to be close to faltering, but I don't mind. I can't stop. Not now. And then… Oh Good grief! After all this trouble, I find myself on the edge of a ravine. There's no way out, no other alternative, and those men will definitely trap me like an animal. I look down from the edge at the abyss under my feet. A sea of rock and the shadow of a stream, or maybe a river, is all I can see. I can hear the men getting closer and closer. They won't get me! They won't get me! They won't get me! I keep saying as I make a decision. I close my eyes, and then before I lose my nerve, I jump down to the abyss. I scream as I find myself plunge deeper and deeper, and in a matter of seconds I feel my body impact against something hard. That is just the last sensation I get before total darkness takes over and the world disappears.
