100 days of Mother/Earthbound

051: Uranus

Ness, Paula, and Jeff were in Fourside hotel, and Paula was fast asleep. Ness had different ideas, though...

"Hey Jeff..."

"What, Ness..."

"Hey Jeff..."

"Yes, what?"

"How... big... is..." Ness stopped to giggle like a five year-old.

"How big is what?"

"How big is... Uranus! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!"

All the laughing woke up Paula. No-one must come between a girl and her sleep, and Paula intended to teach Ness his lesson right there and then.

"What the hell do you think you're laughing at? I'm trying to sleep here! I'm sure Jeff wants to go to sleep too! What's wrong with you? Why are you laughing anyway?"

Ness, in the pitch black, couldn't be seen still smirking by Paula, so he simply maintained his grin and said, "I was just asking Jeff how big... Uranus is! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

"Ness, shut up, please." Jeff mumbled, "There's other guests here you know... please be quiet..."

"Oh, but I really feel excitable still! Can't we go down to the bar or something?"

"No... we can't." Paula firmly scolded.

"Wait, Paula. Ness, feel free to go to the bar. We won't stop you. But we're not going too."

"Okay. See ya!"

And with that, Ness got up, walked out the room and went to the Hotel bar. When he got there, a bartender said, "Hey, kid, you're underage! Don't you dare think of buying booze here, okay?"

"Be quiet and take this money..." Ness said, while giving a ton of his Dad's hard-earned cash to the tender.

The guy held the money up to the light to check it was real, and said, "Fine, smart guy. Whaddya want?"

"A slager dandy..."

"Heh... you mean Lager shandy. Sure thing, lightweight. Anything else?"

"Not yet..."

Many hours passed, and Ness was still drinking.

"I... I don't... CARE... if you don't... don't want me to... I want another DRINK. I... I need another..."

"Kid, you're way over the limit... if you get caught, I'll be so dead... just go to sleep or something..."

Ness proceeded to throw up on the floor, and then said to the bartender, "I like you... do you know how... har... do you... har har... do you know how big Uranus is... heh heh har har..." Ness slurred a few more syllables from his warped smiling mouth, and then collapsed on the floor, next to his vomit.

The vomit proceeded to become a slimy little pile, and looked at Ness, and said, "Damn alcoholic teenagers... all over these days." and left the bar while the Bartender stared in awe.

The morning after, and Paula and Jeff felt fantastic.

"Wow, my PP is fully recovered! I know this happens every time I stay at a hotel, but it's still amazing! Wow!"

"Where do you think Ness is?" Jeff asked while they passed the entrance to the bar. As if on cue, Ness stumbled out of that entrance.

"Good morning, Ness." Paula gloated. "You look like you had a GREAT time last night!"

"Shut up... oh, my aching head... say, Jeff, you wouldn't know how big Uranus is, would ya?"

Jeff simply ignored the hungover Ness, while Paula giggled at Ness' dumb attempt at being funny.

Author's note: Don't look at me like that. We all saw it coming... heh heh... anus.