AN: I've written the finale (but not the bit leading there, though I know what I want). You guys are gonna wanna do very illegal things to me for it, and I don't mean illegal as in 'archaic laws still on the books in some states' illegal. I regret nothing. Somewhere, Roman and his Goons are preparing an epic version of 'Put That Robin Back Where It Came From, or So Help Me' to send to Joker, who is entirely to blame for this.
AndAnotherOneBitesTheDust-That sounds ominous and I don't like it. And like I said-I got plenty more. You want the good informants? Pay the Alley kids. Feed 'em, and they'll rat out their own grammas. And NO ONE SUSPECTS THEM. Or if they do, they don't do shit because, well...I'd have to come say hi.
McStaken-Tell that to the asshole dumpin' intestines in dumpsters when I was a kid. Hopped up to see if there was anything good, put my hand in ick. Yeah, ginger tea is...yeah, you'll probably be cursing my name the first time you try it, buuuuuut it works really well and eventually you get used to it. Or start associating it with wellness, whichever comes first.
Riddler1948-I can assure you, child, that that could not be further from the truth. Mind. Your. TONE. Great. You ticked off the fear-obsessed psycho. Thanks a lot...and I have bigger problems. Like, y'know, the missing animatronic dinosaur that Sionis apparently had to have. Such bullshit. Come on, man. I expect this crap from Riddler, not from you. HAVE SOME PRIDE.
Kelly Li's not hard to track down. In fairness, she's clearly not trying to hide. She goes to work at Sionis Industries every morning at eight-fifteen, has a forty-five-minute lunch break starting at eleven-oh-nine, and leaves for the day at six-thirty. No deviations.
Jason would rather hurl himself off of Wayne Tower and not catch himself than suffer that level of routine. He's not even exaggerating.
Her job is, on paper, legal. She keeps the main cogs of Sionis Industries turning-signs for shipments, hires people, fires people, makes (aboveboard) appointments…really, if it weren't for Abdulov, Jason might buy the whole 'I have never done anything illegal in my life, ever'.
Or at least, he'd have a harder time proving it.
He's not so stupid as to just stroll in, helmet or no, and try to talk to her. And in all honesty, he's not too keen on attempted kidnapping, either. Not because of guilt or anything, s'just…clearly she's important. No way he can just swoop down like Tarzan and snatch her off the sidewalk. No way will it be that easy.
It wouldn't be so bad if she'd go out at night, but like most sane people, she stays in her apartment after getting home. The one time she did go somewhere, it was with some guy that came to pick her up, and it was back to the office.
Humph.
No family. No friends that he can find-well, work friends, but they're useless to him-, no nothing. Work. Spin class on Saturdays and Sundays. And that is literally it. The only remotely interesting thing about her is that Penguin hates her because she stole his pen four years ago. Because of course that'd be Cobblepot's hill to die on.
Funny as it is, he doubts he can somehow steer the Penguin towards kidnapping her to reclaim his stupid pen. Nor does he think he can use the pen to his advantage in any way.
Yeah, he could just drop down and ask for a nice chat, but she carries a taser. Sensible. Inconvenient for him, but sensible.
One week of surveillance plus one awkward conversation with Dove ('so how hard would kidnapping you be, exactly?' 'kiddo, I'm sure that sounded better in your head, right?' '…no.') later, he…has an idea.
Sort of.
Bruce would call it risky, which makes it slightly more appealing. He'll admit that. It's not like it involves…no, no, it does, never mind.
He needs confusion and smoke. Both of those things can be achieved with a rocket launcher.
What? That is a perfectly acceptable solution to his problem.
Sionis Industries closes when Li leaves at six-thirty, no exceptions. Except for today. Today it's closing early.
Jason is settled on a neighboring rooftop, assembling his toy. This is going to have to be as precise as he can get with it-he needs her to run for this door, and hopefully not be crushed by falling debris.
Well. Not too crushed. A shattered ankle isn't so bad, as long as she can hobble out of the building.
It's six. Li is on the fourteenth floor. She's on the phone, and Jason would bet most of his ill-gotten funds that Sionis is on the other line. Good. He's gotta find out sooner or later, after all.
He puts the finishing touch-a laser sight, because fuck you, that's why-on, stands up, and prepares to blow this shit to Kingdom Come.
Like most people, Li's a mover when she's on the phone. She fiddles with something on the desk, then gets up to get a water from the cooler before wandering aimlessly. Eventually, the wandering leads her to the window.
Perfect.
It takes her a second to register the red dot, but then she looks up, slack-jawed. He waves. She runs.
But not fast enough.
BOOM!
Really, the rocket launcher was a great choice. It gets the job done, and now the building needs repairs. Maybe that'll keep Sionis nice 'n busy for a little while.
Employees stream onto the sidewalk, pointing and shouting. Li is not among them. Why is Li-there!
She's still on her cell phone, visibly rattled and scanning the rooftops. It's too late for that to help-he's already moving, swinging down to pluck her from the curb. The phone shatters when it hits the ground and there's a bit of screaming, but it doesn't matter.
Gotcha.
"You animal! Let go of me!"
Well, since she asked so nice…
He drops her. They're like, a foot from a roof, not even enough to bruise. She plops down like a sack'a bricks, though, one heel snapping on impact and purse bouncing a few feet away.
"What do you want."
"Kelly Li, right?" he asks, taking a few steps closer. "Works for Sionis industries, goes in at eight-fifteen and leaves at six-thirty, every. Single. Day."
He's gotta give it to her. If she's scared, it ain't showin'-the only answer he gets is a curled lip and a, "Good for you, you can stalk."
He likes her! He really does! Doesn't change how this is gonna go, but he'll think of her with fondness from time to time. Remember her on New Year's, that sorta thing.
"There was your chance to deny it…oh, well. A little birdie told me you know things, huh?"
"Two plus two is four." she deadpans, and he grins under the helmet.
"Good for you." He cracks his neck-ow, that actually hurt-and takes a good, long look at her. Nine outta ten times, an awkward silence gets people to sing. Between the explosion and her sudden flight, her bun's gone sideways and her glasses are barely clinging to her face. The latter seems to register with her and she shoves them up, straightens her spine, and glares at him.
"Mr. Sionis won't be pleased to hear about this."
"Aw, I live to drive up his blood pressure." She doesn't appear to have anything deadly on her person, but she seems the type to try and stab him with that broken heel. "But he'll have to wait. I wanna talk to you…about a shipment that came in last week. Big thing from Cybertron Industries?"
That gets a reaction-her face pales and the glare weakens as her eyes widen.
"I-it was destroyed. No thanks to you."
"I don't think I buy that, Ms. Li."
"That's not my problem."
"Maybe your boss should've thought about that sooner." He grabs her, drags her across the gritty rooftop towards the edge. "Y'see, if I were Batman, I'd bounce you up 'n down like a yo-yo. Might dislocate a thing or two, but you'd be fine. But…I'm not Batman. I can still bounce you up 'n down, but if my fingers slip…" Twenty stories down, there's a convenient honk. Beautiful. "Accidents will happen, right?" She's silent. He forces her head backwards and her glasses ever so slowly slide up, up, and off, falling into the sea of lights below. "Whoops."
Her eyes look a lot smaller without the glasses, but even with the fear, they're shrewd. That's probably bad.
"Fine." Yeah. Sure. "If my phone hadn't broken-"
"Bullshit." he says serenely. "But if you wanna play hard to get…that's fine." He hefts her up, gets a good grip on her wrists, and hauls her, thrashing and shrieking the entire time, over the edge. "I'd start talkin'. I dropped my coffee mug this mornin', you know? Real shame. Shattered all over my kitchen floor, just because Butterfingers Me couldn't keep a grip on the handle."
"My purse!"
"Hm? Didn't catch that over all the traffic down there."
"There's a-a flash drive! It's in my purse, in the zipper pocket."
Quick 'n easy. Works every time.
He pulls her back onto the roof. Sure enough, hidden amongst lipstick and gum wrappers and a pouch labelled 'Vampire Tea Bags', is a small black flash drive. Nondescript. Could have anything on it. He'll keep it. And he'll let her go, because if it turns out to have her high school diary or something on it, they'll have to talk again.
Provided Sionis doesn't kill her…but that's not really his problem.
"Good." He pockets it. "Good luck getting down-"
Whip-whip.
Oh, fuck me with a crowbar.
And to think, tonight was going so well…
The Batman lands on the roof not ten feet away. Jason wishes he could take his helmet off. Bruce deserves to know how not-glad he is to see him.
"Fuck off, Bats."
Bruce hates that nickname. Whether he would have ever liked it if the Gallery didn't use it is a mystery, but he despises it. Jason is not sorry.
"What are you doing, Hood."
Oh no, the big, bad, Batman's come to read him the Riot Act. He's quaking in his boots. Really.
"I was going to go home, play violent video games, drink blood from a skull…y'know, bad-guy stuff." He grips Li's arm and mentally counts the number of steps to the ledge. Ten if he goes for subtle. Five if he just runs.
Bruce radiates exasperation. Jason wishes he'd radiate it somewhere else. Like Hell.
"Let her go, Hood."
"Seriously. For all you know, she's running a child trafficking ring! But oh, wait…doesn't matter to you, huh?" Nine…eight… "Go find a mugging to stop, Bats. Or go visit Arkham, make sure the psychopaths are all snug in their beds."
Bruce tenses. Subtlety's out the window-he's got seconds at best.
Typical.
They both move-Bruce for a Batarang (and Jason doesn't wanna know where he was gonna hit him) and Jason for the edge of the roof, arm thrusting out to hurl Li over the edge. Bruce changes form to follow.
God, he's predictable.
Either he'll catch her or he won't, Jason doesn't care. He takes his window, though, grappling to another rooftop, dropping into the alley, and making his way towards where he parked his bike.
