Erik's POV
"Poison, Erik? Poison?! What is wrong with you?"
"I was going to explain everything to you, Nadir… I went and saw Raoul last night."
"Raoul?! Erik, you're going mad, man. You need to stop this foolishness and get rid of this poison before you do yourself harm."
"I have to die, Nadir…Don't you understand? I have to die before the week's end."
Nadir put down the bottle and grabbed my shoulders, shaking me back and forth as if to knock some sense into me.
"What are you talking about?"
"Raoul has been ordered to return to Paris…I begged him to leave Christine be, but he wouldn't listen to me. I offered him money, but he wasn't interested. I told him that I wanted to see Christine happy, therefore, he handed me this bottle and promised me that if I killed myself he would leave and never return."
"Erik, you can't do this…You can't believe him."
"That's where you come in, Nadir… When I am gone, I need you to watch over Christine to ensure that Raoul follows through with his promise."
"Erik, why kill yourself? If Christine doesn't wish to return to Raoul, then she won't…"
"That's where you're wrong, Nadir. Christine will be forced. When I am dead, Raoul will sign over the annulment and leave without a word. I need you to promise me that you will watch over her…For me, man…"
"Erik, you don't need to do this. We will think of another way out for Christine. Death is not the answer."
"And if it wasn't, do you think I would be doing this? Nadir, I'm going to spend the next few days with Christine, and then, by the week's end, I'm going to end my life. I need you to promise me that you will not tell Christine that I killed myself. Tell her that my lung collapsed again and that it killed me. Promise me…"
"Erik, I don't want to do this."
"Promise me…"
Nadir ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.
"For Christine, I will…But you're going about this the wrong way, Erik."
"Going to miss me, are you?"
"Oh, don't start. I think you're making a huge mistake, but then again, no one can tell you anything. Look, I have to work now, and so do you. I hope to see you at dinner tonight."
"I promise that I'll be there. I'm not ready to die yet."
When Nadir left, I finished my breakfast and dressed. If there was one thing I wanted to do, it was to stay with Christine for the day, but I had to work in a few hours. Therefore, I came down the stairs, only to find my son standing there.
"Mister E, could we go to the beach? I want to make a sand castle…"
"It's nearly winter, boy…I would, but I have to work. How about when I get home later you and I take a walk?"
"Can mama come?"
"Sure…Be good for Marisha now…I'll be back soon."
"Let me come with you today…Pwease…"
The child clung to my leg, and I couldn't shoo him away. This was my son, whether he knew it or not. I didn't have to work for a few hours, therefore, I decided to spend some time with my boy.
"You can't come to work with me, but since I don't have to be in for a few hours, I guess it wouldn't hurt if we spent some time together."
The child seemed excited over this, for he quickly grabbed his coat and hurried back to my side.
"Button your jacket, boy…I don't want you to catch a cold."
When the child struggled to button his coat, I knelt down beside him and buttoned it for him.
"Thank you, Mister E…"
"Good, come along then."
Once we were outside, the wind was there to greet us. November was quickly approaching and I knew once it arrived, the snow would be coming with it.
"Mister E, I'm hungwy…"
"Hungry? Didn't your mother feed you before she left?"
"She forgot to cut the crust off my bread. I don't wike crust, Mister E…"
"You don't? What did crust ever do to you? It's just the darker part of the bread. It doesn't taste any different."
"I don't wike the way it wooks…"
"Well, it's nearly eleven… Would you like it if we had an early lunch? I could take you to Tontos..They're open all year long."
"Ok…"
For some strange reason, the child interlaced his hand with my own, a motion that warmed my heart. To think that this child actually trusted me enough to touch me. I sighed and held the door to Tonto's open for him. Once inside, I lifted him up and placed him on the front counter. He laughed, and oh, how his laugh resembled my own in more ways than one. Not that I ever laughed, but I had laughed a few times in my life, and it sounded just like his. I ruffled his dark locks and handed him a bottle of orange soda pop. I knew he would enjoy it, for it was my favorite flavor. After ordering a few slices of pizza, I lifted him up and sat him down at a nearby booth.
"I can't weach it, Mister E…"
I wasn't sure what he was talking about, but when I looked at him, it was clear that he wasn't tall enough to see over the table. I chuckled and lifted him up into my arms again and sat him on my lap. To think that I would ever have a son was foolish, but to think that he would ever want to sit on my knee was even crazier. While we sat there waiting for our lunch, I brushed my fingers through his brown locks, taking in the softness of each strand.
"This pop is weally good… Do you want some of mine?"
"No, I had breakfast. It is good, isn't it? It's my favorite flavor too."
Gustave didn't say another word, but I noticed that he was staring at a nearby table where a father and son were sat. The child couldn't have been any older than Gustave, but I knew the way they were interacting with one another was upsetting him. The child had on a baseball cap and the father was playfully teasing him with simple magic tricks and stealing his baseball glove from him.
"What's wrong?" I whispered into Gustave's ear. "Why are you staring at that boy and his father for?"
"My papa never pwayed with me wike that. Having him for a papa was like never having a papa at all. He never pwayed with me…He never took me to the park."
"No? Maybe he never did that with you, Gustave, but that doesn't mean that I can't."
"It's not the same… I always wanted a papa to pway with me… I always wanted to be able to talk to my papa. He abandoned mama and me…"
"He was a horrible man, Gustave. Don't you ever believe that Raoul was a nice man. He beat your mother and almost hurt you. He doesn't deserve to have you as a son. Do you understand me? You shouldn't give anyone the time of day if they can't even respect you."
"Is that why you don't give anyone the time of day, Mister E? It's because of your mask, isn't it? Aunt Marisha forced me to wook away when my papa took it off. What's wrong with your face, Mister E?"
"I…I wasn't born normal, Gustave. I'm not a normal man. Therefore, the world prefers to shun me for my hideousness. You don't need to look upon it, not ever do you need to look at it. You would be afraid of me."
"I…I want to see it."
"You do not need to see my face, Gustave, and I can promise you that you never will."
Gustave began to cry, so much that he hopped down from my lap and hurried towards the door. Oh, if I lost this child, Christine would never forgive me. I hurried out the door after him, hurrying as quickly as I could with my staff.
"Gustave, stop!"
I kept on his tail, grabbing him by his jacket to stop him from running. We were right at the gates of Luna Park now, and with them being locked, it stopped the child from going any further.
"What is wrong with you?!" I cried. "You could have been abducted, or run over by a car! Your mother would kill me, do you understand!"
Yes, I had wanted to discipline him with my temper, but the only thing I was getting was more tears. No, yelling at him would do him no good, for it never did me any good either. When my mother yelled at me, I would only cry harder, for it frightened me…It was doing the same to my son.
"Gustave," I cooed. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, but you need to understand that you can't run off on your own just because you feel like doing so. Your mother loves you very much and it would hurt her deeply if something happened to you."
"And what about you?" he cried. "How would you feel if something happened to me?"
I couldn't tell this child that his death would be the death of me, for if I told him that, it could be something fatal to his knowledge.
"I would be crushed, Gustave…If something happened to you, I wouldn't know what to do."
"Do you wove me?"
I bit my bottom lip and nodded. "Very much. I love your mother, Gustave. She and I have a history together, one that brings us closer together than you could ever imagine. Now, could we please go back to the restaurant before they begin to wonder where we ran off to without our lunch?"
When Gustave wiped his tears away and nodded, I took him by the hand to lead him back to Tonto's… Though, he tugged to stop me, and I turned to face him once again.
"You said that you wove me…"
"Indeed. I never lie, Gustave."
"If that's true, then I wove you too…"
He loved me? This child loved me? Oh, I loved him too, so, so much. I wanted to tell him the truth, I wanted to scream to the heavens that he was my son, but I couldn't…
"I…I love you, Gustave. I told you this, and I refuse to lie to you. Now, on with lunch."
"If you do, then you will show me your face."
"Gustave, I can't…I don't wish to frighten you. It's not a pretty sight and if you are frightened by me, it would kill me inside. Please…"
"Pwease, Mister E…Pwease show me your face. I won't be scared, I pwomise… If you wove me wike you say you do, then you will show me your face."
Knowing that we wouldn't be going anywhere until I removed my mask, I looked around to make sure nobody else was around before kneeling down to his height.
"Reconsider," I cried. "Please reconsider, Gustave."
"I won't… I won't say no."
I pressed my eyes closed and reached up to pull off the garment that has protected me my entire life. When the mask was off, I raised my head to face the child and kept my eyes closed. I was afraid, so afraid about what my son would think of me…But as the moments passed and silence prevailed, I slowly opened my eyes to find him standing there before me, his eyes looking deep into my deformity.
"Y… You're not afraid?"
My son slowly shook his head and raised his small hand.
"C…Can I touch it?"
Touch it? He wanted to touch it?! My heart was aching now…Tears were streaming down my cheeks, as the child gently ran his fingers over every crevice of my deformity. I couldn't hold back any longer…I had to tell him, I needed him to know that I was his father and he never needed to be alone again. This was something we both deserved, for as long as we had each other, neither of us would suffer again. I could only hope he would accept the truth…
Poor Erik... He doesn't know what to do. Please review everyone. Also, I have been getting many requests begging me not to take down my new story "The Angel In Winter." Guess I am going to keep it up. Though, a few of you were concerned about the story's graphic content. I can assure you that the content was only in the first few chapters. After that, the story will go on as a normal story...Thanks for everyone's support!
