Shion opened her eyes and looked at the group, a delicate frown creasing her forehead.

Where's the girl?

There had to be a redheaded girl. She'd seen all of the Kumo nin passed out, and then the girl jumped in, looking battle-worn and annoyed... But then she was speared by that many-headed monster.

Where was the girl?

Shion relaxed fractionally. If the girl wasn't here, then there was no need to panic. The worst these ninja would do would pass out.

"Lady Shion," the one in the front said, "I am Darui of Kumo. This is C, Karui, and Omoi. And this is Uzumaki Natashi of Konoha."

The redhead looked up from the map he was looking at. "Hi," he said vaguely. "We should be reaching Lady Shion's place in an hour."

"We're here, moron," Karui said, hitting the redhead on the back of his head.

"Itai!"

"What a wimp," Karui said, rolling her eyes.

"So cruel!" the redhead whined.

"Seriously, you two, enough!" C said, looking quite annoyed.

"Natashi will be your guard for now, along with Karui." Darui's statement brought them out of bickering.

Shion looked at Natashi. "Do you have a sister, Natashi-san?"

Natashi looked up at her. "Not anymore, Shion-sama. The Akatsuki-konoyarous took care of that."

"Don't say that in front of Lady Shion!"

"I bet Shion-sama hears a lot worse from her guards, C," Omoi said dryly, a sucker in his mouth. "Still, please forgive Natashi-san's mouth. He's an idiot."

Natashi scowled, but didn't deny it.

"We are to guard you until you get to the shrine to fully seal this Moryo demon away," Darui explained, making Shion look away from Natashi.

"I see. And if I tell you that you're all going to die?" Shion asked politely, despite knowing they weren't.

"Excuse me, Shion-sama?" Natashi said, stopping Darui from talking. "But... If you're saying that you can see the future, I completely get why you say that. However, I'm a firm believer in saying 'fuck fate' and punching it in the face, -ttebayo. I did that to someone before." He grinned at her, unrepentant. "And even if we do die - we are ninja, and it is our duty to carry out the mission at all costs!"

"He is correct," nodded Karui. "I think we are two days ahead of schedule, thanks to Natashi's idiocy and Darui's pace, so... Can we get something to eat before we start the guarding?"

"I will have my attendants get anything you wish," Shion replied. "I will need to wait for my taste-tester -"

"I can do it!" Natashi jumped up eagerly. "It's impossible to kill me by poisons!"

Shion frowned. "I highly doubt -"

"Why, I remember my sister and I getting nightshade berries from our old orphanage director," Natashi nodded, looking completely serious. "And there was that cupful of anti-freeze. My nee-chan said it was the best thing she ever tasted." A sad expression flitted across his face. "So yeah, I can survive being poisoned! I doubt that I can die from any known poison!" He gave her a big smile.

"If you die, it will not be on me," Shion said flatly.

~:~

"Shion's giving you eyes," Karui mentioned to Naruto.

"Eyes? That's nasty, I don't want eyes!" Naruto exclaimed.

Is she trying to poison me for real?!

...I can't believe THAT YOU'RE EVEN DUMBER THAN I THOUGHT! ROMANTIC EYES, YOU BAKA!

"No need to yell," Naruto snapped at his bijuu. "I can't return Shion-sama's feelings... I have someone already. I think." He felt his cheeks warming up. "I think," he repeated.

"Oh? Who's the lucky girl?" Karui beamed.

"It's a guy," Naruto responded.

Karui gaped at him. "You're - I never had you pegged for that!"

"What?" Naruto stared blankly at Karui.

"You're gay!" Karui yelled, causing silence to fall upon the hall as eyes looked to Karui, whose finger was aimed at Naruto.

"..." Naruto thought about it. Since he was a guy currently... "Eh, it doesn't matter. I can asexually reproduce if I needed to." He used his chopsticks to pick up some rice. "'Sides, my mother is a dude and definitely gay." He looked at Karui. "Any problems with that?"

"Nope, not at all." Karui beamed at him. "Go for it, man."

"Shinobi can have same-sex marriages?" Shion asked quietly, causing the shinobi to look up at her.

"Well, most of us die early, so relationships like that are accepted," Naruto nodded. "I mean, I don't know any female pairs in my village, but I do know my mother figure is definitely sucking face with my sensei, so... Yeah. It's an awkward situation to me considering what I walked in on once." A true shiver of horror went down his spine at that. "It's comparable to kissing Sasuke." And with that mental image, Naruto stood up and turned to the nearest servant, hand over his mouth.

"This way!" the young lady cried, running.

Naruto was right behind her.

~:~

Soon, though, they were attacked. Naruto was glad he'd made them come faster with his fake idiocy, and he got to show of some of his not-so-lame sword skills.

Having been gender-fluid since the time he'd become aware of the possibility of changing sexes, which was very young thanks to Kurama's usual androgynous self, he could quite easily use a katana in this form. Throwing in some sand attacks wasn't amiss, either, as it surprised the enemy when he got sand in their faces.

"Kage Bunshin!" He summoned a Kage Bunshin that helped, and Naruto started to summon them, all of them knowing the plan. One of his Kage Bunshin gave him a stern look that was hiding amusement.

"Go!" said the Kage Bunshin. "Protect her, bunshin!"

Naruto nodded, then grabbed the priestess, taking off with a small jolt of Kyuubi chakra. That chakra alone made her leap the width of the canyon. Then, Naruto made his sand grab each of the Kumo shinobi and get them to the cliffside. He handed the priestess over to Darui, then turned and deflected several kunai.

"Sugoi!" Karui gasped as Naruto made his stand.

"If you think that's cool, watch this." He held out his currently silver katana. He'd found it curious, until Kurama said he'd expanded his chakra to make it blood red, even though the sword was made for the Uzumaki monarch. It was his chakra that helped it. "Ikuzo, Kyuubi!"

Red chakra exploded from the blade, creating a strong wind. The Kumo members and Shion looked on in awe.

Naruto drove forward with his blade. It jarred his entire body when one of the shinobi blocked it with a kunai. Naruto's sword started to cut it, then one of Kurama's claws came from the blade itself and slashed at the opposing ninja's face, creating a wound that was instantly cauterized by the heat of Kurama's chakra.

Naruto was unaffected; or perhaps it was because he was used to Kurama's chakra and used to it burning him. The Kumo nin jumped a safe distance away, C stumbling because of the immense hate coming from Kurama.

Naruto turned to the other two, Kurama's chakra dying down to come in lazy wisps off of her blade as the third ninja stumbled back. Two incapacitated, two to go.

"A demon... Moryo-sama will be definitely intrigued to hear this," the one who held the most water ninjutsu sid aloud, gazing at Naruto hungrily.

Naruto tensed, but the water nin simply vanished.

Then the other unarmed one rushed up to him, and engaged Naruto in a one-on-one.