About a month passed without anything eventful happening. I was actually very surprised to find that I was able to keep everything a secret from Draco. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be, mainly because he never asked me about it. I have a much harder time lying to people's faces than I do keeping things a secret. That's just part of who I am. If nobody asks me about it, I can keep it to myself.
Then came the day that Draco told me something about his plan. "I'm having death eaters enter Hogwarts," he said.
At first, I thought it was the most ridiculous idea ever, and that he was joking. It's impossible for that to happen, and it's the stupidest thing ever. I almost started laughing, but the look on his face told me that he wasn't kidding. "You're serious?" I asked him, not really believing it.
"Yes, I'm serious. Why wouldn't I be?" he asked me, just as confused as I was.
I hesitated before answering. I didn't want to tell him how stupid of an idea it was using those exact words, because he was the only person who's feelings I actually cared about. For everyone else, I would say the honest truth the way I saw it. I wouldn't try to keep those little feelings in tact. Nobody really mattered to me except for Draco, and I would never intentionally hurt him. If it is at all possible at the time to make things sound better when I'm around Draco, I'll do it. Only because it's Draco. Everyone else could just screw themselves.
So, instead of calling it stupid, I said, "Because it's impossible." I didn't care if he made me sound like an idiot, but I had to say something. To me, it seemed impossible. You can't apparate inside the grounds of Hogwarts-everyone knows that. How in hell was I supposed to believe that Death Eaters could get into the grounds? It was a ridiculous idea, to say the least.
Draco smiled. "I figured out how," he said. I was terrified, to be honest. That whole idea scared me to death. I knew that all the death eaters hated me, just because of the fact that I am Harry's sister.
I didn't want to say how stupid I thought the idea was, and how dangerous and reckless it was, but I couldn't not say it. I don't know what would have happened if I didn't say something. I tried to make it sound as pleasant as I possibly could, but it was nearly impossible to make it sound good, because it really was terrible. "Do you know how many people could die because of this?" I asked him.
"They aren't going to kill anyone. Nobody's going to die except for Dumbledore, and I'm going to be the one to do the killing," he said, completely confident in saying so.
I'm not sure how he was so positive that it would turn out that way, because I knew the way Death Eaters were. I didn't have this clouded vision, even if I was a little bit more biased to the part where they kill everything in sight. "What's going to stop Auntie Bellatrix from trying to kill Harry? What's going to stop her from killing me?" I asked him.
Now, I knew what was protecting Harry. Even if someone tried to kill him, he wouldn't die. Only Voldemort and basilisk venom could kill him. But, Draco had no idea about that. "The Dark Lord wants to personally kill your brother, so he's safe for now. And my aunt isn't going to kill you, because I love you. She wouldn't take you away from me," he said, completely confident in that.
I don't understand how people can be so confident about things that can easily turn the other way, especially when there is evidence that it could turn out badly. I never have, and this was one case where I saw more evidence that it would turn out badly than well. "Has it ever crossed your mind that your family hates me? I'm not a pureblood, and I'm Harry Potter's freaking twin sister. That doesn't exactly make for a perfect wife for you," I explained.
Draco got all solemn and quiet all of a sudden. "I know that. I know that better than you do," he said. I wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, so I asked him if he cared to expand on that. "There's one thing I never told you," he said, and took a deep breath before saying the next thing. "When my dad found out that we were going out, he and I sort of had a huge fight, to put it gently."
I really hoped that he wasn't saying what I thought he was saying. "To put it gently?" I asked, concerned. I really hoped that he wasn't going to say what I feared he was going to.
Draco hesitated before answering, which was not a good sign at all. I knew what he was going to say before he said it. "He sort of… beat me," he said. I don't know what my face looked like after he said that, but it must have been pretty bad. On the inside, my heart was shattering like blue stained glass and the pieces were piercing my insides. "This is why I didn't want to tell you," Draco said, his voice sad and pained. At that moment, he looked like a puppy who had been kicked one too many times.
I hesitated before saying anything. I couldn't let myself say anything wrong. Saying one word that didn't sound right couldn't happen. I had to choose very carefully. I chose one word, and one word only. "Why?" I asked. I made it clear by the tone of my voice that I was asking about a lot of things. I said it in the perfect tone, and I made sure that he knew exactly what I was asking.
Draco and I, we understand each other. If one of us says one thing, one little word, the other knows exactly what the other is saying, and the complete meaning behind the words. Draco thought a little while before answering. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I hate seeing you upset," he said at first, but he knew I was asking more than just that. "My dad claimed that I was betraying the family by even considering a long term relationship with a half blood, let alone Harry Potter's sister."
I nodded. I should have thought that's what happened. "I'm sorry," I said, because I wasn't sure what else to say. What could you say in times like this? Especially when it had happened over two years ago. There was nothing you could say. You couldn't be right in a situation like this.
"Don't blame yourself," Draco said. I didn't think I was going to blame myself, but the second he said it, I knew I would have if he didn't say anything. I did, actually. I mean, I was trying not to, but I did. Now I understood the point of view that Draco was coming from after the Voldemort attack. Both of those problems weren't our faults, though. Draco's dad was the main cause of everything.
"If you stop blaming yourself for the thing that happened at the end of fourth year," I said. Might as well get something out of it, I figured.
Draco considered my deal. "Okay. That's fair," he said. Then, he realized something about what I said. "How did you know that I still blame myself?" he asked.
"I know you, Draco. You let guilt get the best of you. You have an impossible time forgiving yourself," I said, and I knew I was right. Draco didn't say I was wrong, so that was a bit of a bonus.
I tried to convince Draco that it was a terrible idea to bring death eaters to the school, but he seemed to think it was the only way. I was terrified about the entire thing, but Draco told me that everything was going to be alright. I didn't believe him at all, no matter how many times he reassured me. I hated the idea completely, because there would be so many lives at stake. I could deal with dying-I just couldn't deal with a hundred innocent little kids dying because I didn't do something.
So, after talking to Draco, I immediately went up to Professor Dumbledore's office and told him the plan, as well as my concerns about it. "I understand why you don't trust this plan, and I appreciate you telling me. Don't worry, Victoria, I'll make sure that nothing happens to anyone," he said, although I didn't understand how he could be so sure. Once Dumbledore was dead, what was stopping the death eaters from killing a bunch of innocent people? There was nothing, and that scared me out of my wits.
Guys, I am so sorry about all the code being in there. I wasn't aware of the situation until just now. I'm also sorry about the fact that I haven't posted in so long. I've been on vacation for the past two weeks, and the end of the school year was super busy. I'll try to post in the next couple days. -kilakia
