Felinis: So update schedule announcement for he who did not hear.. I will be in total aiming to upload a chapter for each fic every fic once a month. Over the summer I focused on uploading for Lowell since that fic is going to be stupidly long. Normally I'd say I'm writing by-weekly, but this quarter at school I'm going to be in two writing like a mad man. I have to write 2 plays and a screenplay. Not to mention animate 2d art pieces which will be a pain. Irma really fucked with our schedule too, so the schedule is condensed too. Yeah, I will not be able to update more than monthly. Also this chapter has art! Yes art! I have uploaded it to my tumblr which is felinisfeloney.
Come morning they all set out to reach Nordopolica. It doesn't take that long to reach the Weasand of Cados or learn of the blockade. What the hell is Flynn thinking setting up a brigade with monsters. Raven brings up that this is definitely having something to do with Belius's involvement in the Great War. Patty leans over whispering in the old man's ears. Raven grins giddily as he strikes an arrow into a Quietta's hide. The hoofed beast bucks and panics stirring the knights as the group runs through the blockade gaining a glance from Sodia. They run through and turn corners trying to stay unnoticed.
"Yuri… since there's an aer krene here do you want to stop and eat or something?" Karol asks awkwardly. "Or… whatever it is you do."
"No thanks. Last time I did that I blacked out."
"Right…"
The pace slows when they see that they aren't being followed Patty cheering victory. As they discuss the monsters and knights Estelle's face falls sadly.
"I can't believe that Flynn would order something like this..."
Patty hums tilting up at Estelle. "Say, what sort of person is this Flynn?"
"He's Yuri's friend. I heard they've known each other since they were kids." Karol chimes and Yuri nods sadly confirming the fact.
Raven sits down on a jutting rock. "Sometimes orders comin' down from the top don't make sense. The meaning can get lost going down the chain of command. When a brigade gets big and famous enough, things can start to get outta hand."
"You certainly know a lot about these things. Makes sense for someone in Altosk." Yuri notes but Raven just brushes the comment off.
"Things can end up like that no matter what the organization."
Yuri scowls though when he thinks of what Flynn is doing. He's setting a war on Palestralle at this point. "What worries me...is how much of a hand Flynn had in all this."
"I'm sure we'll get a good understandin' of that as soon as we can get to Nordopolica."
The concern for Palestralle is muttered and Yuri can't stop thinking about how this whole thing smells of corruption and the idea of that guild city overrun with knights. He takes off ahead faintly hearing a conversation behind him.
"Yuri sure is enthusiastic." Karol states.
"He won't say it, but I reckon he's just worried about his friend."
Patty hums. "...Are this Flynn and Yuri really so deeply connected?"
"Yeah, I dunno if you'd really call it deep... Why, are you jealous?" Raven says.
"Mm, I'll have to hold a tactical meeting so I don't lose hold of Yuri." Yuri rolls his eyes but the words do sit deep. Friends… Yuri like to say Flynn is his friend, but really that hatred is still a rolling stone sitting in his ribs grinding on flesh. Flynn has always been one of the few people in life he could trust and count on. The one he could turn to and know he'd understand Yuri completely; maybe Yuri hadn't noticed it or perhaps he ignored it, but Flynn was always a slimier man than he let on. Always a player more aware of the field than anyone would notice or if they did would care. Yeah, really… it wouldn't surprise him to learn that Flynn used him as a free meal ticket.
Friends…Yeah… what a joke.
Raven busts them through of the barricade with a strange call to the knights that confuses them all for a moment, but they don't have time to linger as they run through towards the green plains outside. It's a shock to see a cart waiting on the road for them outside the Weasand of Cados out of sight from the knights. A Krytian is driving with a hood hiding his face as mercenary-like men stand at the ready.
"The Duce has requested the return of one Yuri Lowell."
Yuri raises a hand. "That's me."
"Please have a seat; all of you." The Krytian says gesturing to an open bench.
It's Rita who brings up as she's sitting on the bench how unusual this. "How did you even know we were coming? It's not like we sent a letter or told people in town. So what's the trick?"
"An informant from Mantiac told us you'd be arriving. That's all you need to know."
Rita starts to go off but Raven tells her to calm down. It's not the right place to be making a scene. Yuri enjoys the ride as the green plains pass them by. Then peninsula isn't without the occasional farm that works as a major provider of Nordipolica's food supply line. There's no real barriers and you never see anyone, but they exist all the same. It takes at least two days to walks the peninsula with minimal sleep and a day and a half by cart. The new moon has at most a day left in the cycle. Yuri forgot how much a problem new moon gave him as a teenager. It was easy to ignore; don't look at the moon and there won't be a problem. But, it's hell!
Yuri can't stand, walking is a joke, and there's wincing from the onlookers as they hear bones bend inside his flesh. Yuri has never wanted to have an episode so badly. Even if he can't remember anything he wouldn't be aware of the pain. A puddle of drool and blood is underneath Yuri's face as he attempts to focus on the wood grain rather than the pain ripping through his body. His throat is wrecked from screaming into his gag tears of pain coming down his cheek. Nobody bothers cutting the horns. Nobody looks at him and Yuri doesn't blame them. He's disgusting right now! The fallen teeth were thrown away and his fever has stayed steady since they set got on.
Someone mentions blisters, large ones. The kind that are impossibly big. He grimaces at those words. Yuri can't do anything so he's kept under tarp when the cart pulls into town. He's not sure where he is but he's brought to a back entrance in the coliseum on a gurney. He knows there's protesting from the others that he be kept with them because Yuri is their friend. Insistence that Yuri be kept alone when he meets Belius as it is what the Duce demands. He'd rather his friends be there. It seems the thoughts are heard but denied all the same. Yuri is brought somewhere soft and hands are wiping the small amount of sweat from his stripped body. He's shivering in fear of the unknown of what's wrong with him. Yuri cries desperately as he rubs into the mattress wishing that someone could help. Those blisters build and finally after hours-
BURST!
A shower of liquid, puss, and blood rains from the large blisters. Yuri is incomprehensible in that moment. His nerves are dancing around in his back and let out a final scream through the pain before he blacks out. When he wakes up he attempts run or walk, but in the end Yuri settles for crawling. He's on a large plush mattress with pillows laid out along bowls with cool water. Downing the water greedily, Yuri wipes his chin and looks around. It's similar to the one from last time though this one has a pool of water to the side.
It takes Yuri a moment to realize it's a bath with herbs, oils, and flowers drifting about in the pool. Someone walk in, a Krytian woman with red hair that Yuri is sure came from a bottle. "How are you feeling?" Yuri starts to speak, but she protests. "No. Just you're thoughts, please." The Krytian woman's lithe hands completely untie the gag that been hanging around his neck. "Your throat is wrecked it's best left to wait on talking. Sorry."
Yuri understands. "Lady Belius asked me to help clean you up for this evening." That so? "Yes, she wishes you to be presentable when she sees you next." Yuri looks at his hands and they're fine, well as fine as they can be, his skin looks about the same. He's not looking at his legs... not yet. "Are you fine with walking...? No, then please allow me to help." She holds out an arm as Yuri is walked to the pool on unsteady feet. Yuri doesn't look down, just tries to keep steady as he walks into the water. The water is just above lukewarm as he dips in. "Would you like a mirror?" So Yuri can see everything that's happened to him? No thanks! "You'll have to at some point." Yuri knows that but he'd rather pretend what he thinks is wrong isn't there. "Denial is only putting off the inevitable."
Shut up! "I say this because Lady Belius was concerned when she was informed you were having troubles walking." Her hands brush Yuri's hair and he bats her away.
"I can wash my own hair!" His voice is gravely and it stings to talk. Yuri is finally back to being capable of doing things himself. He doesn't need others taking care of him. When Yuri turns around a mirror is held to his face.
Fur wise his face only has a bit more patches, but the whites of his eyes are almost consumed by silver pupils. His hands, both, are stubby compared to the long fingers Yuri knew just weeks ago. Dammit, can't something stay normal! Yuri knows he's ignoring the obvious going on. But, he finally let's his eyes drift down to the three things wiggling around his waist. Tails...
Fucking tails!
Not just one either. Oh, no, Yuri gets three! Each in a different coat of paint. All are thick things at least a foot and a half in length. The center seems the most normal; same color as the fur but fluffy and thick. Diverging off on the left is what looks like feathers; the tail bone itself is flesh on inspection as it flicks. The fibers are red at the end with turning a vivid indigo at the base. Right is a tail like a snake the scales silver that bounces off the light making it appears to carry that same scarlet and purple.
It reminds him too much of Zeru... He touches it cautiously feeling his hand on the surface. Yuri focuses on washing the rest of his body. He's gotten used to the antennas enough that he's okay touching them; even having them. But, he's actually afraid to touch these. These aren't natural! These aren't his! These aren't human! They aren't anything he's ever wanted. They aren't meant to be a part of him! Yuri shouldn't be this way! Yuri just wants to be normal or at least as much as he could ever be.
"I think I hate you."
"What?"
The woman sits pulling her knees to her chin in front of him. "You have blood blessed by the ancients; you get to ascend and become like Lady Belius." Those beady seafoam eyes dig in. "I would kill to be you. To be going through these changes. Many would say the same." Yuri is tempted to tell her out loud the hell of this 'ascension'. Of what it will do to his mind! "You're going become something greater. Something sacred."
"Fuck that!" Yuri tries to yell but his voice is too far gone. Those things are bristling behind him! "What's so sacred about becoming a mindless monster?!"
"Monster! Lady Belius is a being who governs respect from all Krytians!" The Krytian stands. "You don't even understand how grateful you should be towards her generosity. Yuri Lowell, you are the half-bred son of a traitor. Most Krytians in this city hate you for that, but Lady Belius graciously declared you as one her own." Yuri doesn't care. He's losing himself and that year mentioned before seems like a joke. Yuri's wondering if he'll be gone in a few weeks. He wants to live! Live like anyone else. "To think she values you! It's so decrepit that-"
"Enough, Loran." Belius bellows as a figure of a Krytian woman with golf hair tied in a braid that trails to her feet enters. Her eyes are deep a sapphire that makes Flynn's bright blue lose all luster. Her face is long and slender with a somewhat flat nose. Antennas a lime green that slowly deepens into a spring forest. Neither built nor skinny; most certainly not fat, but she is tall, maybe even taller than Yuri. Her footsteps are light as she walks up and Yuri feels that pull in his chest. "Your behavior is childish. I asked for people to ignore his heritage because he is not Lowell."
Loran drops to her knees. "Yes, my lady."
"It's unsightly to see you on the floor like that. Stand and be off." Loran bolts upright and shuffles out the door quickly.
Belius? "I promise she's not a bad girl, just foolish. She looks up to me to much for her own good." The woman holds out a hand to touch but Yuri moves a little further into the water. "Ah, where are my manners. It is good to see you again, child." Well, Belius certainly looks different. No paws today? " I wear this form when I am needed in the day. Though many know the truth it is best kept secret from most. Right now, I am not the Duce; I am simply the matriarch for the Krytians who live here."
Belius's eyes curl at the tails. "You have horrid nightmares." She says it so plainly. It's a fact not a statement. Yuri nods and her hand reaches over once more; this time he lets the hand linger. "Yuri, this isn't good. You've been stressing your mind and body too much."
Her arm lifts Yuri from the water effortlessly. Despite his protest she starts patting him down with a towel. He won't admit to shaking off when it's done or that it was nice... Maybe Yuri is vain? Belius helps him stand and Yuri shakily walks back to the bed where a silk robe is waiting. "Those nightmares must be vivid."
"Entelexeia grow and evolve separately. We may all start off basic in forms but we adapt based on what we feel suits are needs best. You are making this body whether you realize it or not. You think monsters should have horns so your body supplied horns." So Yuri chose to be this way? "No. You fear being this way."
Fear? The word feels like an understatement compared to what Yuri is thinking. Yuri doesn't just fear becoming a monster he dreads it. It's the nightmare that's plagued him forever. It's the screaming horror of losing himself. It's the idea of one minute he's there and the next he's vanished. Of everyone around him gathering up weapons for his hide as all he can do is run or fight back. Of not remembering the people he holds dear. Of being turned into a decorative pet.
He's pulled into a hug as Belius strokes soft circles on his back. "Shush now. Those fears will only hurt you. Think instead of what you still want to do." What he wants to do? "If you put your mind at ease you'll feel better. If you'd like you can stay here with me. I can make sure the transition goes smoothly. It doesn't have to be painful and you don't have to forget everything at once. I can make it so you won't even realize it's happened."
He just turns away.
She sighs. "How can you two be so different but so alike?" Guess dad was stubborn too. "Very well, but my door is always open." Belius looks at the three tails and strokes her chin. "Really, how are we going to get you into a pair of pants?"
Yeah, Yuri's been thinking the same thing. It's not like he can wear his pants backwards with the fly down. These are a bit big for that. Belius thinks a moment and then ten minutes later Loran comes in carrying a stack clothing before heading back out the door.
Yuri sees a new coat this time more of a long loose trench coat. He picks up the pants and immediately throws them to the side like a snake. He is not wearing that!
"You have a better solution?" Yuri hesitates to pick them up and sloppily slips his legs in. It works technically... but chaps? He's going to walk around in chaps? Just... ugh, no! There has to be something other than chaps. He doesn't care if the coat will cover it up for the most part it's the mere principle of the thing. Dignity being stripped bit by bit. "I will get something for your throat." Belius doesn't stand or move but he understands that she is sending orders to workers all around the coliseum. "It's annoying right now. Those knights are occupying my city, but I can't attack without invoking a war. The Union has just signed a friendship treaty so my support is limited." Belius strides up to the window while a Krytian servant rushes in to start pouring Yuri a tea that is thick with syrup. "My hands are tied and there is little I can do that won't endanger my people. So likely, I must fight."
It fairly sweet and soft going down as Yuri sips the tea. "Your friends were worried about you so when you feel better it's best you go see them." Yuri almost doesn't want to with these new additions either way he needs his horns trimmed off. "It's another new moon; I suggest you wait. Your blood will be stirring stronger during these times unfortunately."
Great… so what hide four to five days every month until he's finally lost his mind? That sounds wonderful for anyone who hates being able to do fuck anything. "Yuri Lowell, it is not that I want you to suffer and hide, but the fact stands that this will happen to you. You must live with it and deal with what is happening."
Yuri doesn't want to be dealing with any of this!
"Think I don't get that already!" Belius snaps but almost immediately returns to a stoic composure. "Your denial right now is only hurting you. If you steel yourself from those thoughts it will help make things easier."
Everyone keeps talking about denial this and acceptance that. Like this is something Yuri should have been aware of or like it's some grand truth he should have some element of joy about. Or something he should shrug off and say, 'oh well' to. Yuri can't do that! He can't pretend this is good or accept that he's basically living a cursed life that's at its end. Isn't it fine for him to be angry at the world right now? He has a right to hate this! He has a right to hate the feeling of his body breaking around him. He has the right to hate that he no longer seems to sweat or that he can't eat. Yuri needs to hate or blame something because it's a relief right now. Yuri has no way to cope and acceptance seems a hollow way of just giving up.
Yuri expects another lecture from Belius but she just goes on mentally ordering her subjects. "Hungry I take it?"
Yes, but that's nothing new.
"Follow me."
Yuri struggles to walk after he and stops to grab his bearing many times. The tails are throwing off his balance along with the pain still aching in his bones. His steps are clumsy and he walks with hoping every few steps to keep upright. At the door two human men stand at guard bowing when Belius approaches. With a flick of her wrist the men go to open the door letting them pass through while giving Yuri looks mixed with disgust, pity, and intrigue. Inside is a pool of that golden liquid that's smell is rich and tempting. Belius's form instantly shifts to the beastly fox creature and she jumps into the pool of aer. The smell makes instinct swirl and Yuri doesn't even bother cupping his hands to drink. He let's his tongue lap at the liquid enjoying that impossible sweetness this time with a cool edge to it. He really was hungry.
Belius seems amused watching him as Yuri turn from his drinking to looking at the tails and trying to chase them. A part of her feel guilty for laughing at what is obviously a minor episode in progress. His thoughts have gone back to being muddled and confused in her ears like when she first met him. Maybe feeding him was wicked thing to do, but if Yuri was well nourished then the process would be easier on him. Belius lets him eat his fill and play about in that empty state before taking him back so he'll be grounded come his friends visit.
Felinis: A lot of thought went into this chapter because I have to really debate where things go from here plus them chaps. Like I legit spent ten minutes of my life thinking about the solution for humans with tails that were not thin wispy things would deal with that. Skirts don't work much for the same reason as pants since they still need a huge hole so assless chaps were the way to go. So yeah... Yuri is wearing assless chaps now. Side note did you know this fic is the length of a novel currently? Like wow we ain't even done
