Arthur has aged in these last months, Regina remembers their first meeting, lewd joke after lewd joke escaping the boy, he had been a boy then, a boy with round cheeks and a grin, his own torments hide behind the grin he still flashes, but she knows it's her torment now as well, "Could you see what I saw?" she asks him as he sits beside her, she had saved his life, had poured her last breath and last strength into Arthur not that long ago, and they dream their nightmares now together. Connected in a way she has not had time to research, her library was lost with the castle, her magic has not been willing to come to her, and with no books and no spells there are only so many answers she can find.

"They weren't just nightmares, were they?" he has his hands clasped tightly before him; he stares without shame at the rags that contain Regina's own hands.

"They were visions, of the futures that could be," Regina admits, she turns her head to look for Robin, finds Robin looking back at her from where he stands with Farouk and Little John, when she smiles at him, he smiles back and cuffs John on the shoulder before walking back to her.

"Emil's curse went to you?" Arthur asks, he had seen as clearly as any other Merry man what happened to her in the night, the gouges on her face may be healed, but she still feels them there, deep and aching, phantom pain from a wound that she'd had less than twelve hours.

"His gift," Regina corrects, "I believe it did."

"Was that," he shrugs, "strange place your home? Was that your land?" Arthur asks, question after question. Regina answers with a nod of her head; he calls Storybrooke her land, as if she belongs more to it then to here, and is that not the truth? Regina was so proud of that stupid little town, it was Henry's home, and after raising him there, ten years spent watching him run and grow on the unchanging streets, it was her home as well, more a home to her then the lonely halls of Leopold's castle, even after murdering him in his own bed the castle was always cold and dark and empty, always empty, Storybooke was more her home then even the manor she spent her childhood in.

"Yes," she answers as Robin sits on her other side, a hand sliding in place on her back, Robin has not left her side for more than scant minutes at a time, Roland too, had been nearly impossible to dislodge from beside her, neither boy nor man had voiced their worries further, but it was clear to any with eyes that they were still terribly afraid, the guilt has Regina drowning. Sweet June had been able to draw Roland away, making Roland a crown of stately flowers before begging the boy to play pretend with her, it took cajoling, and a hefty amount of reassurance from Regina that she would be fine and safe and Robin would not let anything happen to her while Roland was gone, before Roland went to play his game.

"How do we get there? How do we get to your boy?" Robin asks, and the answer is clear, though Regina does not want to admit it, a thrill runs through her even thinking of seeing Henry again, of Henry meeting Roland and the – the baby sister that Regina now knows she will carry to full term, after the baby's birth the future is unclear, but the baby will survive the pregnancy, only one future in the many she had seen had her daughter dead (dead and blue and limp, cold like the one other baby Regina had birthed so long ago), but that future is one in literally hundreds, that cannot be what will come, it cannot be.

(Robin was nowhere in her visions, he was not there, Roland was there in all the happy flashes, holding his sister, speaking with Henry, Roland was there and Robin would not be far from his son, Robin must be there for her, he will be, he said he would never leave her. The baby lives and Robin must be there.)

It's Arthur that answers Robin's question, "We go to Snow White's aid," he says, and the hand Robin has on Regina's back flexes.

"We have to leave our safety?" Robin asks, his voice tight, his voice directed at Regina, "To be with your son again, are you certain?"

Regina nods, her rag covered hands, her tightly bundled hands over her belly, she cannot hold the pregnancy as she wants and the scratchy feeling of the woolen rags is all she feels. Robin's free hand lands on Regina's belly, between where she's resting hers, his hand solid, his fingers soothing.

"Yes," Regina answers, and bitterness churns inside her at the knowledge that she need must once more help Snow White.

Robin shares a look with Arthur, not subtle, and not trying to be, Arthur stands and walks away, words of parting thrown over his shoulder.

"What would you have us do?" Robin asks, the hand on her back goes up into her hair, the hand on her belly slides up until it is at rest just below her breasts, his hands are warm, his fingers strong, Regina leans into his side, contemplates resting her head on his shoulder and then does so.

"Henry is my child," she whispers in response, "If there is even a chance of seeing him again, I-"

"I'll speak to the men," Robin mumbles into her ear as her words falter, "You are not alone in this, Regina."

'not alone,' Robin tells her, and the idea is still so foreign.

Hours later when night has fallen and Roland clings to Regina in his sleep, his little body wedged between his father and Regina, that's when Robin asks her plainly, "You saw your son, did you see our child as well?" he asks, his hand on her belly, she has her eyes closed, breathing in the scent of Roland's hair.

"Yes, a baby girl," she answers without opening her eyes, her lips turn up, she holds Roland tighter. Another child, she thinks, she will have a daughter.

"I knew it," Robin says, a soft chuckle escapes him, his lips land on her hairline, "my god, a baby girl, Regina," he sounds awestruck, she opens her eyes to find an idiotic and terribly happy grin stretching his whole face before he swoops down and captures her lips in a wet kiss. He works a hand into her hair, he always has a hand in it, pulling and gripping, petting, working the silky strands through his fingers, he adores her hair, he's gripping the tresses tightly, pulling her head forward, here is the passion Regina has missed, he's clutching at her, and if it weren't for Roland between them…

When they pull away they are both breathing heavy, Regina drops her head to her pillow, but he hovers on his elbow, looking down at her, still with that grin, "What does she look like?" he asks, filled with awe, with wonder, looking at Regina like she's the most precious thing in his world.

"She had dark hair," Regina whispers softly, turning her chin down into Roland's hair, his curly dark hair so much like the baby's, "I didn't see much else," but that is not quite the truth, she had seen skin color more akin to hers then Robin's, she had seen eyelids cracking open just long enough to spy dark eyes, the baby does not look like Robin, the baby does not look like her father. But Roland doesn't resemble Robin either, but for his grin and those adorable dimples, Roland takes after his mother, Robin's son does not resemble him, nor will his new daughter.

Regina knows Robin loves Roland more than anything, the boy his lifeline as Henry had been hers, the boy does not look like him and he loves him so, so much, he will love a daughter too, surely, a daughter that does not look like him. Cora had tsked her tongue once, you have your father's coloring, she had said, the only time she did so, a hand pecking at Regina's dark hair. She'd said it only once, but only once is all it took for something angry and hatefilled to take root inside Regina, only once was all it took to realize she was not completely what her mother wanted.

"Our daughter will be as beautiful as you," Robin tells her, moving to lie down finally, gathering Regina and Roland up against his side.

He will love this new child as he loves Roland, Regina knows, and smiles before exhaustion wins out and she falls into a sleep plagued with flashes of futures that could be, hundreds and hundreds of possibilities, she has dark circles under eyes come morning.


"Oh, I knew you'd see reason!" the fairy says, bouncing slightly, she is equal parts irritating and terribly endearing with her pretty smile and round cheeks, but Regina knows what fairies are underneath, Blue is cold, Blue is stale water, but when Tink goes in for a hug Regina allows the embrace. "When do we set off?" Tinkerbelle asks as she draws back, hands clasping at Regina's elbows, "Snow's camp is a five day trek by foot, if we move with speed."

"Two days," Regina says, they set off in two days, her and Robin (though Regina had begged him to stay behind, stay here in the safety of the camp, but he was as stubborn as Regina, 'you would ask me to sit idle as you left for danger?' he had asked, his hands holding between them the rags that still bound her, 'you are a fool if you truly expected that of me,' he told her and that was that), half the Merry Men, and Ruby, that was their group, they would leave in two days.

Leave in two days to help Snow White. Regina had saved the girl once, and it had destroyed her life. It had cost her Daniel, it had cost her freedom, it had landed her in a marriage she never wanted, sharing a bed with a man old enough to be her father, years spent in that marriage bed, a bed filled with pain and tears, filled with blood. Shackled and restricted, a heart inside her that she allowed to grow darker and darker, hate festering inside her, until the darkness consumed her, and she had let it consume her.

Regina had let it happen.


Roland weeps, weeps and weeps, and all Regina is ever doing is causing this beautiful little soul pain, his hands are savage at her dress, pulling and twisting, "please," he weeps, begging to go with them.

"You need to be safe," she's sobbing as well, "Roland, please," Regina is holding the boy in her lap, her arms holding him tight, her hands useless in the rags, useless and bundled and hot, her fingers sweaty.

"I'm a big boy!" Roland screams, "I'm big and brave, please, take me too, take me with you!"

Telling the boy before bedtime was a mistake, for an hour now he has been crying, weeping and screaming, more and more upset, he's tired and he's desperate, pulling on Regina's hair, fighting Robin when Robin tries to loosen his hands from her.

"You need to be safe, shhh honey please," Regina sobs, Roland was never going to take it well, but this is a nightmare, all Regina does is make Roland cry.

Roland's words are an incoherent mess, speaking of ladies in white, speaking of a monster with a thousand eyes and a thousand wings always following Regina's steps, he weeps that he cannot lose another Mama.

When he finally falls asleep, it's with his cheeks wet, his breath trembling softly, whimpers leaving him, before sleep takes him he turns his face into her neck, "Don't leave me," he begs, "Mama, don't leave me."

He is dead to the world after that, loose and easy for Robin to move off her, Robin puts the boy down on the bedding, arranging his head comfortably on the pillow before he grabs at Regina and tugs her against him, tears in his own eyes.

"He can't come with us," Robin rasps, it's not necessary, Regina knows that a warzone is no place for a child, she knows that here in the shadow that the boy Liam provides all will be hidden, Roland will be hidden and safe, with John and half a dozen Merry Men to protect him, Roland will be safe, safe but not with her, not with her and Robin, the boy is beside her, but already the loss of him is keen and sharp in her side.

She shakes her head against his chest, stifling her almost sobbing, muffling the lungfulls of air she sucks in, holding Robin, anchoring herself against him, taking his strength and the comfort he gives freely, he's leaving his son, yet he comforts her.

"I'm sorry," Regina says, makes a halfhearted attempt to leave Robin's embrace, but it takes only one tug from him for her to stop, "he's your son and I'm-"

"Did you hear him call you Mama?" Robin asks, and Regina freezes against him, muscles growing tense, in response Robin rubs her back softly, up and down her spine, over her hair, "Did you hear him?" he repeats.

She nods against his chest, let's out a deep breath, "Does it bothe-"

"Do not finish that question," he hisses, his rubbing hand stills, his arms tighten, dragging her forward and awkwardly against him and half into his lap. "We are family, you and I and Roland, your son Henry too, when we reach him," he is too good for her, far too good, willing to jump realms for a boy that is not even his own. It was without question, it was without even a full conversation, as if there was only one possible decision after he heard her wants, he had been willing to leave this world since the moment it was brought forth. For her, Robin would do it for her.

Regina moves back from him, looking up into his eyes, the way he looks at her is like nothing else she has ever known, he looks at no one else like this, with warmth and love and desperate want, crinkles at the corners of his eyes, eyes bright, it's love in his eyes when he looks at her, she could drown in that love. His eyes widen when she pulls the Bonder from her pocket, the red ribbon is heavy in her hand as she holds it between them.

"I love you," Regina tells him as she urges him to hold up his arm, when he does so, numbly, his mouth slack, she begins to wrap the ribbon around his wrist.

He flinches back, "I would never ask this of you, Regina," Robin whispers.

"I trust you," Regina says before she leans in to kiss him, to slide her tongue out, to bite his bottom lip and drag it as she finishes wrapping the ribbon, she backs away from the kiss to look down and tie her knot.

The Bonder was a cruel thing in the hands of Leopold, he had tightened it about Regina's throat, pulled it so tight she could barely breath, her skin slicing under the magic of the ribbon, her blood staining it, in Leopold's hands it was a thing to track and monitor, a thing to strip the last of her freedom, but Robin is not Leopold, Robin is Robin, strong and sure and loving, true in words and actions, he has Regina's trust in a way no one else before him ever had, even sweet Daniel had not had Regina as Robin has her. Robin moves his arm up from her grasp, he sweeps his fingers through her hair behind her ear.

"So you can always-" find me, Regina almost says, but those are what the idiot's say, because they are always losing each other, always playing a ridiculous game of Where's my True Love, something better comes to Regina, something more truthful, "So you can always be with me," she tells him, arms wrapping around his neck and drawing him down, kissing him and kissing him, all heavy breathes and wet tongue, greedy kisses for them both.

The air in the tent is humid and hot when they part, Regina is tired, Robin as well, but she has one
last thing to ask of him before sleep can calm them, she cannot fight with her heart vulnerable inside her, she asks Robin to pull it out.

"What?" a whispered shriek comes from him, his hands at her shoulders, holding her, his fingers hard enough to bruise.

"I'll leave it behind here," Regina soothes, her hands running up his chest and back down, rubbing over the shirt he wears, "hidden and safe, the wicked bitch tried to take it from me once, I won't be able to stop another try. It will be safe here, just like Roland."

"Your heart-"

"It won't hurt me, Robin," she assures him, scooting closer to him, but not close enough, she goes to her knees and shuffles forward until she can wrap her legs around him, until she's all in his lap, so close they share air, and it's right, this is where she belongs, "Please, I need you to do this for me," she tells him, her head canting down, their noses bumping, she needs him to do this thing, because her magic has deserted her, purple magic will not come, the magic that comes from rage and hate will not come, white magic will not come, magic that comes from love and care and wanting to protect will not come, it burns under her skin, but that is as far as it goes. Her magic won't come, and it leaves her weak, Robin must be her strength.

It takes him a moment to nod, a slow nod, "How do I do it?" he whispers, his hand already working between them, he frames his hand under her left breast, his fingers curling over her rib cage, his thumb on her sternum.

She teaches him, and when his hand sinks into her, passing through skin and bone and muscle, it does not hurt at all, his calloused hands gentle and easy, slow, his touch soft, a gasp escapes her, she jostles on his lap, he stills, "Are you alright?" he asks, his eyes wide, staring at his hand half in her chest.

"Keep going," she urges, and he does. When his fingers grasp her heart, the beating organ that thrump thrumps against his palm, there is no pain, a bolt of something hot and wonderful races from his fingers and into her, she jolts, but not from pain. "I'm alright," she says before he can ask, her bundled hands are around his neck.

When he pulls it out, slowly, so slowly, Regina gasps, with it gone she's suddenly tired, the heart is held in his hand, looking small in his long fingers, she falls against him, boneless and panting, she can feel the panic in Robin as she deflates, but she can't help it, "s'okay," she mumbles, licking her lips, nuzzling her head into the crook of his neck, breathing in the smell of him, without her heart she feared things would be darker, she would feel her love muddled, but that is not so, against Robin's chest, with his warmth and his comfort all around her, the love she feels is just as powerful as ever before.

She falls asleep in his lap, against him, with his arms wrapping around her, her heart still beating in his hand.


Granny's breath leaves her in harsh pants, so angry her face is red, hands on her hips, "You would have me sit here on my heels while you go gallivanting off into an endless stream of life and death situations?" she says hotly.

"Granny," Regina starts, but the old woman talks over her.

"How dare you come into my life," the old woman seethes, eyes narrowed behind her glasses, even Ruby, beside Regina but more than a step away, looks apprehensive in the face of the anger being spewed, "make me care for you, and then be so reckless with your fucking life!"

"It's the only way I'll ever see Henry again," Regina reminds Granny, had just told the woman of everything that has led to this, but Granny needs reminding, "I need to do this." Regina will not apologize, she never asked for Granny's care, she feels badly Granny is so obviously upset, but Regina will not apologize.

"Then I'm coming with you," Granny gestures, a harsh finger dug into Regina's shoulder, enough to have Regina take a step back, the motion has Ruby bracing Regina with one hand wrapped around her bicep, helping her stand toe to toe with Granny's wrath.

"Granny," Ruby starts to say, it's clear by her tone that she won't say what really needs to be said here, so Regina cuts her off.

"You are old," Regina says, the truth, and takes no enjoyment out of the way Granny flinches, Roland cannot come, because he is small, because he can't fight, because he is a child and the way Tinkerbelle speaks it is clear that outside this safe haven the world has turned war torn, and Granny cannot come because she is old, "you limp," Regina continues, wants to reach out to Granny, but the rags around her hands are heavy things, she leaves her hands by her sides, useless, her hands are nothing but useless, "you would slow us down."

Granny turns, spins on her heel, and stalks six steps forward, her limp is there for all to see, in the face of the truth Granny doesn't know quite what to do, her inner turmoil clear on her scowling features, Regina doesn't know what to say to help her.

Ruby does, "Granny, I'm going with her, okay?" Ruby smiles, that pretty smile filled with straight white teeth, she steps towards her grandmother, lands a hand on the old woman's shoulder, "I'll keep her safe for you, I promise," Ruby says, and Regina thinks it just words to make Granny feel better, but Ruby turns her eyes to Regina, the jealousy on Ruby's face is as easy to see as Granny's limp, but there is more there than that, and when Ruby repeats it, "I promise," as she looks at Regina, eyes sweeping down to take in the pregnancy bump at Regina's middle, the wolf means what she's saying, it leaves Regina off kilter.

"I can keep my own self safe," Regina gripes, and can only huff and roll her eyes when Granny gives her a skeptical look, Regina has lived all her life without another person protecting her, not her mother, not her weak willed, warm hearted father, not her husband, not Snow, no one, she has lived long without a keeper (but has she lived well? She shakes that thought away.)

"Can I speak to Granny alone, please?" Regina asks.

Ruby harumphs, but she does go, walking away with her long legs petulantly stomping, Regina waits for the young wolf to be well away before holding out towards Granny in her bundled hands a small leather purse, "I need you to keep this safe for me," Regina says.

Granny swallows before she reaches out to take what is being held between them, but it's not till she pulls at the drawstring and looks inside the little bag that a choked gasp escapes her, eyes wide, mouth open, there's horror on her face, "Is this your heart?" she hisses, stepping closer, stepping so close that Regina can see every line on the old woman's face.

Regina nods, "The green witch tried to take it once before," Regina confides, still remembers Rumple's hand inside her chest, scratching at her lungs, grinding against her ribs, an invasion like so many others that Regina had endured, she had survived.

"You would trust me with this?" Granny sounds shocked, her eyes still wide as she hurriedly closes the purse, shoving the bag deep into the pocket of her apron, head spinning as if to search out spies.

"You will keep it safe, I know that," Regina says, and isn't that trust? She trusts this old wolf to hold her heart, trusts her not to crush it.

She trusts Granny to keep the organ, the heart that is decidedly less black than ever before, safe. The trust is not effortless, and what other option does Regina have, but the trust is there.


DISCLAIMER: not mine yo