XLIX
(EPOV)
The King sent soldiers as often as possible and they were all put under my charge. I walked through the camp and watched as men were tended to by doctors and their female helpers. Some children ran this way and that through the tents. I wasn't exactly fond of the idea that children were so close to battle but there was nothing I could do at this point.
Jasper appeared, "Hey Edward."
"How was practice?" I asked.
He grinned, "Emmett got hit in the shoulder but I was left unscathed."
I smirked. Jasper and Emmett had had some training but I decided they needed more and put them in sparing practices with some other men from the city.
"You know," Emmett grumbled, joining us, "the winter chill doesn't do much for wounds."
I smiled but the smile died when my mind went to the word 'winter.'
"Edward?"
"Our women," I whispered, "they should be giving birth any day now."
They both stopped and we looked at the ground, thinking.
"I wonder if they're alright," Jasper whispered.
"Is there anyway to get messages to them?" Emmett asked.
I shook my head, "The French are still circled. Any messenger we send would be killed . . . or, worse, lead them directly to the city."
"Right . . ."
I faked a smile, "But don't dishearten. We'll get back to them soon."
They nodded.
Later . . .
I walked into the pens and approached Brego. He had gotten stronger through war and grew a little more fond of me - I think.
He came up to me and let me pat his nose, "Bella would've given birth by now, if she hasn't already . . . and, in a few months, your offspring will be born too."
He let out a breath in my face and I chuckled.
"As unsocial as you are, something tells me, you would be a good mentor."
He butted my shoulder with force: an affectionate gesture coming from him.
I ran my hand down his neck and sighed, "I hope I can be a good father. Carlisle and father have been good to me. Let's hope I can go the same route."
"I imagined you'd be a good father," came Emmett's voice, "You're a good leader."
"I appreciate that Emmett, but there's a difference between war and fatherhood."
"I hope I'll be a good father," Jasper said coming up to stand beside me, "I don't know the first thing about fatherhood."
"My uncle says it comes naturally," Emmett said, "He gave me a talk before we left."
"Naturally, huh?" I mused, "So, when does the natural part come in?"
"He said, when you look at the baby. The one that you know is your flesh and blood."
I nodded, quietly smoothing Brego's neck. I wondered what my child would look like. I had seen other babies before but I wondered how I would see it if the baby was my own.
"I still hope Rose has a girl," Emmett said, leaning back against a pen, "but, now that I've seen the young boys running around here, I wouldn't mind a son of my own."
"I'm not sure what I'd like," Jasper asked, "A pixie-girl like Alice would make my day but I wouldn't mind a son that I could wrestle with."
We chuckled.
"What about you, Edward?"
"I don't know," I said, not turning from Brego but not really looking at him, "Each side seems good to me." I smiled and turned from the horse, "Whatever God decided Bella should bear is fine by me. All I want, is the chance to be a father to my child."
They smiled too and we left the pens. The night was fast approaching and we all knew we needed rest.
In our tent, we wordlessly climbed into our cots and let the comfort of sleep overtake us.
Dream . . .
I was sitting in a world surrounded by darkness. My legs were stretched out and I was wearing only a white, long-sleeved shirt and brown pants. I felt exposed and weary, "Where am I?"
Suddenly, something hit me, "Father!"
I looked down and saw a child, hugging my ribs tightly. I couldn't tell if the child was male of female. In fact, I couldn't make out any features. One moment, the child had a glossy mane of brown hair reaching it's waist and, the next, a messy crop of copper locks covered it's head.
I could say nothing but, "F-Father?"
It laughed and hugged me even tighter, "Yes! You're my father!" It's voice was strangely male and female at the same time.
My arms slowly closed around it, "My child . . ."
"I love you, father!" It sounded so excited.
My voice seemed quiet compared to it, "I . . . love you too . . ."
A laugh of delight escaped it and a third, small hug squeezed my ribs. Then, we sat for a while, silently.
The child cuddled into me, it's cheek pressed against my chest, "Father? Where are you?"
"Not too far away."
"Why?"
"I'm . . . I'm trying to protect you . . . from all the bad things that want to hurt you."
"Will you come back?"
". . . I hope so . . ."
"You should. Mother misses you."
I stilled, "She does?"
The child nodded vigorously, "She misses you and I miss you!"
"You've never even met me."
"You promised to be my father, though."
I shuddered, "I'm sorry. I'm only trying to protect you!" My child's accusations made me feel like a horrible person. I started shuddering even more.
The child flew into a panic, "Don't cry, father! I didn't mean it like that!"
"It's okay! It's okay! I'm not crying."
"I'm sorry, father . . ."
I rubbed my child's back and smiled weakly, "You don't have anything to be sorry for."
A soft giggle reached my ears and kiss touched my cheek. The beautiful smell of flowers was so strong as it wrapped around me and eased my soul so completely. Warm arms circled around myself and the child, "And, you don't have anything to be sorry for either. Just do what you need to."
I closed my eyes, leaning into her, "I love you, Bella. I love you so much. I just want to come back to you."
"Don't worry, I can wait. I know you're only doing this to protect us. Come back as soon as you can."
Tears came to my eyes as I felt the dream fade. I didn't want to wake up. I wanted to stay in this world and stay safe in the arms of my family.
Another gentle kiss touch my cheek, "I love you, Edward."
"I love you, father!" laughed the child.
I nearly sobbed, "I-I love you too."
End Dream . . .
I opened my eyes with a gasp. My back was to my brothers and I could hear evidence of their slumber.
My dream lingered. I heard the child's laughter echoing faintly, and I could smell my Bella's wonderful scent.
Oh God, I cried, I miss her! I want to be there! I shut my eyes as a wave of emotion hit me. Tears seeped through my eyes and I tensed and shuddered, fighting to stifle my sobs.
I just wanted so badly to go home . . .
I'm going to apologize now for future time jumps (even though I don't plan on a really big one for another chapter or two). I know it's probably going to make the story look bad but I need everything at a certain place if I want to give you all, what I hope will be, an interesting conclusion to the story.
