A/N: This one is a little short, but it's still a tender moment between our favorite characters. I debated lumping this together with the next chapter, but decided against it. But the plus side is that I've made a lot of progress this past weekend, so I should be able to post the next one fairly quickly.
As always, enjoy!
When Sam was clean, it was all she could do to get to the bed before her strength left her completely. Daniel knew he should let Cam have some time with her, but he lingered in spite of himself, with a nod of understanding from Cam as he shut the door to give them some privacy.
Daniel took up perch on the edge of the bed, tense with both need and aversion. He had questions, questions that refused to wait. He had to know, but at the same time he dreaded the answer he might get. And he had to ask soon, before Sam fell back to sleep again.
"Sam?" She didn't answer. "Sam, you awake?"
Blue eyes opened, the struggle to pry them open not escaping Daniel's notice. "Am now."
Daniel almost smiled. "Sam, I need to ask…" Her eyes focused on him acutely, listening with such intensity that it almost startled him. But she, of all people, shared his enthusiasm for knowledge, knew how important it was. She had always listened to him—it was more than he had done for her, sometimes. "Sam… when you lost your memory…" Her gaze darkened, but she remained silent, letting him continue. "Did they do it? Did they make you forget?" His voice caught in his chest. "Did Jack—?"
"No." Her voice was hard. But he had to wonder if her vehemence was as much for her own reassurance as it was for his. "No, I…" She trailed off, her eyes straying as though trying to sort through her own memories. He wondered if she really did have them all, now, or whether there were still gaps. "I think… There was an accident."
"What kind of accident?"
"It was dark… raining. I lost control…"
She didn't sound all that certain, and Daniel wasn't certain either. Sam might be a speed demon, but she'd never, ever lost control. She'd always maintained an eerily natural control at the helm of whatever vessel she drove, whether it was her Indian or an X-302. She wouldn't just lose control, especially if it was raining. Risk management was one of her fortes.
"I wasn't driving," she continued, her tone still hesitant. Still working it out in her head. "I wanted it to go out of control. I—oh, Jesus…" Her eyes widened, then narrowed in acceptance. Whatever it was, she had it. She was sure of it. "It was Pete."
"Pete?" Daniel's voice betrayed his shock. Not an answer he was expecting. "Pete crashed your car?"
"The bastard tried to kidnap me," she confessed bitterly. "He rushed me at the house, and then the next thing I know I'm handcuffed in the front seat of a car, being taken god knows where." Tears welled in her eyes, and she swiped at them angrily. "I almost stopped caring, Daniel," she whispered, her voice dark. "I almost let him do whatever he wanted… I didn't care. I was so tired of being someone I wasn't, I just…"
"But you crashed the car. You got away."
A mirthless laugh greeted his ears. "Did I, Daniel? Or did I just trade one captor for another? Because the way I see it, my life was hijacked anyway. I crashed myself straight into the hands of the people who stole my identity and turned me into a goddamn guinea pig."
For a long moment, Daniel didn't say anything. Anger burned deep in his gut, but he had no business sharing it with her. No doubt she more than enough of her own anger to deal with, on top of the shock and trauma of whatever she'd experienced in the past few weeks.
"I can't believe Jack would stand by and let that happen," he said finally. "I can understand his reaction on the sub, but this… Jack wouldn't do this."
Sam pulled in a long, shuddering breath as she fought her brimming tears. "I don't think he wanted to, Daniel." Her voice was small, uncertain—vulnerable. "I know he was trying to protect Charlie, but… I think he was trying to protect me too."
"That's no excuse—"
"They put him in an impossible position, Daniel. He could have washed his hands of me after he saw me in the café. But he didn't. I don't know how they wrangled him into it, but when he had the choice to either care for me, or unload me onto someone else, he made the only choice Jack O'Neill could make."
Daniel didn't know anything about any café, and something told him that Sam was lacking some of the details herself. But he was sure that beneath the betrayal of what had happened, she still understood what Jack had done for her.
For a moment, Daniel pitied her. The powers that be in this timeline had perverted the one immutable law of the universe, twisting it to their own advantage. Samantha Carter and Jack O'Neill were connected, on a level no one else could fully understand. Daniel doubted if even Sam understood. Jack certainly wouldn't. Maybe if he had, he could have prevented all of this from happening altogether by never contacting her in the first place.
"Daniel…" Her voice was thickening again, but this time with exhaustion rather than tears. He looked up to meet her fuzzy gaze, her eyes already starting to droop. With a deep breath, she fought to stay awake. "I'm trying really hard not to hate him," she said softly, struggling to remain coherent. Tears glittered angrily in the corner of her eye. "And I hate myself for feeling anything…"
Anything for him. For Jack. This world's Jack. It had crossed Daniel's mind briefly, when he'd seen Sam and Jack together in that suburban town square. In the anger that had followed, he had labeled the affair as just that—an affair. Sam was married, and it didn't matter if the man in this world shared her husband's face. This Jack and the true Jack were two very different people, and no amount of justification would make that fact go away.
The notion had faded, when concern for Sam had taken precedence, but now he could see the guilt and self-loathing lurking in her eyes. It had festered for weeks now, he was sure, after so long in isolation with nothing but her thoughts for company. And suddenly, his earlier anger softened, morphing into understanding. After all, he of all people should know—they were immutable. It would only be through sheer force of will that Sam would be able to stay away from this world's Jack. And without her memories to remind her of what she'd lost, she hadn't known any better.
"He'd understand, Sam," Daniel told her, his voice low. And Jack would. Jack would always take the high road where Sam was concerned—Daniel knew that as clearly as he knew his love for Sha're. Jack had always asserted that he was the lucky one, that he was blessed that Sam would even look at him. He would swallow the jealousy and the hurt and hold her even tighter.
But Sam wouldn't have it. "No, Daniel… He might have understood but it doesn't make it right. And I know—" Her voice trailed off abruptly.
"What, Sam?" Daniel prompted.
"When Kawalsky and Dr. Carter came through the quantum mirror, I saw…" Her throat worked as she swallowed her growing tears. "He kissed her. Jack kissed her, and I know she wanted him to stay there, with her… I remember what it felt like, seeing them together. But this—this is so much worse."
A sharp breath whistled past her lips as she finished, and it was then that Daniel really how close to tears she really was. He reached out to touch her, but she drew back from the gesture, her head shaking furiously as tears scattered down her cheeks. "Don't," she bit out. "No, you're his best friend. You're not supposed to forgive me for him."
"I'm your friend too, Sam." But he could see where she was coming from. He'd known her for too long not to.
"He's the one who deserves the friend right now, Daniel. Not me."
The better part of him wanted to contradict her, defy her. But he didn't. That wasn't what she needed. Maybe she'd be more receptive later, when the drugs had been out of her system longer. He could only hope. With a sigh, he pulled back. "All right," he offered.
He drew himself up to his feet, and spent a long moment looking at her. His hand itched to rest on her shoulder, take her hand… but he refrained. "Is it all right if I send Cam in?"
She shouldn't be alone, and Cam was neutral. Well, neutral with a greater tendency to side with Sam. He didn't know Jack beyond professional acquaintance, and that could only be for the best right now. At the very least, he might put her at ease enough to get some sleep.
He was rewarded with a nod.
He left without another word, summoning Cam with jerk of his chin. The door closed on the two Colonels, and Daniel maneuvered himself over to the couch. As he sat heavily, his thoughts burdened with too much emotion, he was acutely aware of the prosthetic attached to what was left of his knee. Belatedly, he wondered if Sam even remembered what had happened in the Arctic.
With more than a hint of melancholy, a tiny voice in the back of his mind wondered if Cam would be the only one to come out of this whole.
