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Elizabeth
After the sudden deaths of my father and brothers, I had always wondered if knowing that someone was about to die made their passing easier on loved ones. Now, with Madeline, I had my answer.
I watched with mute desperation as Erik paced from my bedroom, his newly donned cape swirling about him, making him look like something loosed from the ninth gate of Hell. He didn't even pause to look back at me.
The instant the panel shut behind him the crushing weight of his prophecy hit me full tilt. Hysteria rose in me like some deep, unseen beast, preying on my weak defenses, ripping me apart piece by fragile piece.
I didn't attempt to stop my tears; instead I let them roll fast and heavy down my face, dripping silently on my clinched fists. What good did it do? Madeline, my little Madeline was dying. My resolve didn't matter anymore, so where would suppressing my emotions get me?
Shaking uncontrollably I tumbled onto my bed, curling myself into a small ball by the bedpost. I felt like I was smashing into a thousand pieces. It was like losing my father all over again.
The hours passed slowly. My hysteria dissipated, and I could catch my breath easier. But there was nothing I could do to stop my tears. My pillow was soaked with them, my face chapping at the constant moisture. I felt like I was slowly losing my mind. I had to get out of this room.
Struggling to my feet I draped one of my heavy shawls about my shaking shoulders and mindlessly made my way out into the darkened hallway. I had no idea of my destination. All I knew was that I desperately needed to talk to someone. My boots tapped lightly on the newly polished wood, but other then their small sound the opera house was as still as a tomb.
Then, suddenly, I realized whom I could bring my troubles to. Instantly calmed, I turned my wavering feet towards the kitchens. Trembling, I paused outside of her door, hoping that she was still awake. I knocked softly against the wood, wincing as the small noise reverberated around me.
"Yes? Who is it?" my stepmother called from inside, her voice drifting over to the doorway.
"It's me step-mamma," I replied, my voice raspy.
The door was flung open instantly, and I stumbled inside and into her outstretched arms.
"Oh, my darling!" she cried, pulling me into a tighter hug. "Whatever is the matter?"
I shook my head wordlessly, my emotions threatening to overpower me once more. Biting on my lower lip I managed to quell my swiftly rising tears. Seeing my distress my stepmother gently led me over to her small bed, helping me to sit.
"Why, Lizzy! What has happened?" she asked again, placing her warm hands over my cold ones, squeezing them reassuringly. I looked up at her worried face and tried to smile at her, but I found I lacked the energy. With a low sigh I rested my head on her shoulder, feeling more and more alone with every passing second.
It was in that moment that I knew I couldn't bring myself to tell her about Madeline. How could I? It would tear her up if she knew that her little girl was dying, and I wasn't about to place that heavy burden on her.
"It's just work," I stammered, wiping my tears off my cheeks roughly. Get control of yourself, Lizzy!
"My poor, Lizzy," she replied gently, turning to face me. "Don't worry, De Perix assured me just the other day that he would be hiring new maids to help you. I know you have it on much harder terms then the rest of us, and for that I'm deeply sorry."
I nodded at her words. Oh step-mama! If only I could tell you everything!
"This too shall pass?" I quoted, leaning to rest on her comforting shoulder once more.
"Indeed it shall," she said quietly, hugging me to her. "Now, let's see if I can't get your mind off of your troubles! I believe that, for once, I know something you don't!"
"What?" I asked, hoping that this would be a piece of good news. Smiling at my ignorance, my stepmother continued.
"I will tell all in just a moment," she said, gesturing for me to turn my back to her. "First, I should like to plait your hair. It looks like it's been ages since you've taken proper care of it! And popping it into that stiff cap doesn't help much," she said, removing my starched cap. Tenderly, she gathered my long strands into her hands, preparing to weave them into a long braid.
Her smooth motions soon relaxed me and I wrapped my hands around her bedpost, propping my feet on her coverlet, just like I had done when I was a little girl. It felt like ages had passed since we had all still lived in that little house by the English Channel, and my stepsisters and I would all crowd into my stepmother's bedroom for our nightly discussions.
"I've missed seeing you, Lizzy," she said picking up a comb from her bedside table and running it through my auburn waves.
"I know," I replied guiltily, ducking my head slightly. "I need to try and make more time for all of you."
"I know that you're busy dearest," she replied, placing her hand on the top of my head and raising it back up. "Now, I'm sure you're wondering what my news is."
"I am! What has happened? It isn't bad is it?" I asked worriedly, turning my head to face her. Sighing playfully my stepmother turned my head back around again.
"Be still! I had quite forgotten that you aren't very patient with this! It's not bad news at all; well, at least I hope it isn't," she replied, beginning to plait my hair tightly together.
"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to quell my urge to turn and face her again.
"Peter DePerix has proposed to Renee," she said, her joy clearly audible in her tone.
"Oh, that's wonderful news!" I cried, a large smile slowly making its way across my face.
"It is indeed! Renee is very excited, as is Peter. The only thing is - " I cut her off hastily, suddenly realizing that this news might prove irksome to DePerix.
"DePerix might not allow them to wed," I finished for her, gripping the bedpost more tightly.
"Exactly. Though I don't see how Peter could refuse his father, he might be able to convince him of Renee's worth some other way," my stepmother continued. I nodded silently, trying to see some sort of solution for this predicament.
"Peter is the youngest of his family," I stated quietly. "And as such he stands a better chance of making a life for himself since he has two older brothers who can carry on the more important titles."
"Those were my thoughts exactly," she replied, tucking my completed braid over my shoulder. Smiling, I lovingly ran my fingers over her beautiful work.
"Thank you," I said, turning to hug her once more. She clutched me to her and kissed my forehead again.
"I don't know what I shall do without my Renee," she began softly, dabbing at her tear-filled eyes with a small handkerchief. "It's so difficult parting with ones children. I always knew that this day would come, and I am truly overjoyed for her, but how I shall miss her when she is gone."
"Oh step-mama," I cried, hugging her to me. "Renee wouldn't go too far away! Besides, you don't loose a daughter you gain a son, remember?"
"Of course," she replied quietly, cupping my cheek with her hand, but she pulled back when she noticed my cut.
"What happened to your cheek, Lizzy?" she cried, turning my face into the light so she could see it better.
"Aunt Maria's ring," I replied bitterly, biting my lip in annoyance.
"She was on the war path earlier today. I should have known that she would take her anger out on you," she replied, shaking her head. "It looks like you've taken care to clean it well."
"Yes, E…I mean I figured it would be wise to prevent any kind of infection." I finished, mentally scolding myself up for almost slipping and saying Erik's name.
"Good girl," she said tapping me lightly on the tip of my nose. "But it's late and I don't want to keep you up. I know you'll have another full day ahead of you tomorrow."
Nodding, I rose to my feet and walked over to her door, pausing before I turned the handle to look back at her.
"Goodnight, step-mama," I said, smiling at her.
"Goodnight, Lizzy. Sleep well and I will see you in the morning," she replied coming to close the door behind me.
It was a long and restless night. I tossed and turned, trying to force myself into some semblance of sleep, or at the very least, relaxation. But no matter how hard I tried, I still couldn't push Erik's words from my head. Every time I shut my eyes I could see Madeline resting in a small coffin, her face forever trapped in repose. Finally giving up I grabbed up a nearby novel and frantically tried to bury myself in the world that was locked within its pages, silently watching the minutes tick by.
Morning dawned slowly, and by the time my clock struck five I was already changing into a new working gown, desperate to escape the confines of my room. I was just about to tuck my hair up into my customary cap when a loud knocking at my door interrupted me. Dropping my cap onto my bed I walked over to the door, opening it just enough to see out into the hallway. I groaned with agitation when Aloysia began to push her way in my room.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, moving away from her bouncing form.
"Mama wants to see you!" she cried, clapping her hands together.
"Stop bounding about," I snapped, moving over to my small basin, splashing some of the cold water on my face. "Now," I began, wiping my wet face with a nearby towel, "what does she want? I'm not about to do any more of your neglected chores."
"No, no! It's about something much, much more important!" she squeaked, resuming her bobbing, hopping from one dainty foot to the other.
"What is it then?" I hissed. I don't have time for this!
"Oh, Lizzy! Just come on! Stop acting like a simpleton!" Aloysia cried, and grabbed my arm, pulling me forward.
"Aloysia, stop this!" I said, knocking her hand off my wrist. "I'm not moving another inch until you tell me what this is about."
"Oooh! Why do you always have to be so difficult?" she said, stomping her foot on the wood floor. "It's about you. Mama has a question for you."
Sighing heavily I finally gave in. I knew I would have more luck getting a rock to speak then having Aloysia properly explain anything to me.
"Alright, alright! I'm coming," I said, grabbing up my cap and following Aloysia into the hallway. Once more I found myself taking the winding stairs up to Aunt Maria's horrid suite of rooms. This had better be worth my while!
As soon as we reached their doorway, Aloysia drifted in and promptly shut the door in my face. Shaking my head in frustration, I lifted my hand to knock sharply on the wood. Aloysia opened the door and moved to the side so I could enter.
"Was that really necessary?" I asked bitterly, looking around the large room for my aunt.
"I don't want to hear any of your back talk, Lizzy!" she cried, rising from her massive vanity and turning to face me. Her makeup was only halfway completed, the thick white powder of her foundation covering only half of her face.
"Why am I here?" I demanded, my temper beginning to rise drastically.
"You are here because I need you to accompany Aloysia to Cannes for the season. You are to perform the duties of a personal maid to her," she replied, turning back to her vanity.
For a moment I was flabbergasted. I'm to do what? I looked over at Aloysia, who was perched on the small pink couch, picking a large candy out from a nearby bowl. Only when Hell freezes over.
"I'm not going to Cannes," I stated simply, and began to turn on my heel to leave.
"Oh, yes, you are!" Aunt Maria replied, her voice deadly and soft. Despite myself I turned back to face her. Aunt Maria never spoke softly. She rose from her small chair and paced over to me.
"Do you see this paper?" she asked, fanning a long document under nose. I took a step back, trying to avoid what could be a particularly nasty paper cut. "This is a document that will permanently relieve your family from their positions here. All I need do is sign it."
My next cutting remark died on my lips. How could she do this? And at a time like this!
"Madame, I am needed here. I do not have the time to take my cousin to Cannes." I replied, my words short and harsh.
"You will take Aloysia to Cannes. Cooks and maids are easy enough find here in Paris. Your family would not be missed," Aunt Maria continued, a sick grin spreading across her face.
"This is your sister-in-law! I am your niece! Why are you doing this?" I cried, trying to grab up the paper from her sausage-like fingers.
"Think about it, Eliza. If you refuse this you will be sending your family into destitution. Cabartte has agreed to pay for my darling Aloysia to go to Cannes to enjoy the delights of the Season, and you will accompany her as her maid. Do I make myself clear?" Aunt Maria asked, snatching the paper from my grasping hands and tucking it into her bosom.
Without waiting for my response she turned to Aloysia.
"Aloysia, my pet, you are to write to me daily to let me know how Eliza treats you. And if she does anything at all that is not becoming of her station then you are to let me know and I will personally see to it that Aunt Jacqueline and her daughters are fired."
In desperation I gave Aloysia a pleading look from behind Aunt Maria. But she merely nodded her agreement, smacking on her large toffee candy contentedly. This wasn't happening! I'm dreaming! I must wake up!
"That is all, Eliza. Aloysia is leaving tomorrow morning, so I suggest that you pack your belongings. Oh, and I need you to wash these clothes for her," Aunt Maria said, shoving a large bundle of dresses into my arms.
"Aunt Maria," I began, but she swiftly cut me off.
"Not another word or I'll have them thrown out this instant!" She yelled, gesturing for me to leave. Wordlessly I turned on my heel and dashed out of the room, my tears beginning to fall freely down my face. This can't be happening!
As soon as I reached the safety of the kitchen I tossed all of Aloysia's dresses down and flung myself into a chair, sobbing uncontrollably. Going to Cannes meant that I would be gone for the better part of two months. Two whole months away from my family, away from Erik, and away from my dear, dear Madeline. If she even has that long, my mind whispered treacherously.
I was crying so hard I didn't even hear the kitchen door swing open quietly.
"Lizzy?" Madeline's soft voice called. I looked up at her, hastily wiping some of my tears away.
"Oh, hello dearest," I said, trying desperately to keep my voice calm. She looked much paler then she had the day before, and, I noted worriedly, her cough had reappeared with a vengeance. After she finished coughing she turned to look at me again.
"What's wrong? Has Aunt Maria said something to you again?" she asked, her eyes taking in the cut on my cheek.
"She…she wants me to go to Cannes with Aloysia for the Season," I replied, burying my head in my hands.
"Cannes?" Madeline began, her small brow furrowing. "But, why? I thought that Aunt Maria hated you?"
"She does. She's doing this as some sort of punishment," I said bitterly, turning to look at my small stepsister. "How are you feeling?"
"My cough is back," she replied, moving to sit on the stool next to me. "Madame Giry has removed me from class completely now."
"Oh, Madeline!" I cried, wrapping my arms about her. "I'm so sorry. But perhaps rest will do you some good."
"I hope so. I hate feeling left out," Madeline said sighing heavily, which brought on another coughing fit. I held onto her frail shoulders trying to keep her upright so she could get enough air. Then, to my horror, I began to cry once more.
"Lizzy, I'm alright! There's nothing to be sad about. I'm sure it's just a cold," Madeline said, her thin arms hugging me tightly.
"I know. I'm sorry, I'm just upset about Cannes," I lied, moving to stand. "I'm sorry if I distressed you. Tell you what, tonight let's get all of the family together to read," I replied, the idea suddenly popping into my head.
"Oh, can we really?" Madeline cried, clapping her small hands delightedly.
"Of course! It will be my goodbye present to all of you," I said, kissing the top of her head. "But now, I need to go and pack. I'll come back around lunch to do the laundry."
I moved slowly down the hallway, sidestepping the stagehands as they made their way to the kitchen for breakfast. My whole body felt numb. I barely even noticed that I'd finally reached my room. Shaking my head at my inattention I quickly turned the knob and let myself in, pausing to lean heavily on the door, resting my head on the cool wood.
Damn it! Damn this whole situation!
I moved away from the door and pulled my massive trunk out from under my bed and began to fling my belongings into it. Dress after dress and shift after shift were thrown carelessly into the deep trunk. It was the perfect outlet for my pent up anger and I gave myself into it fully, loosing all track of time and of what was going on around me.
Needless to say, I didn't hear the panel slide back.
He grabbed my arm roughly, halting it in mid-fling. Horribly startled I immediately went into flight mode, trying to jerk my wrist out of his viselike grip.
"If you insist on breaking your wrist I suppose there's nothing I can do to stop you," Erik replied coolly, his blue eyes gleaming with something that was akin to amusement.
"Let me go," I cried, trying once more to wriggle away from him. Immediately he released me, dropping my arm as if it had burned him.
"As you wish," he replied, turning to leave.
"Why are you letting this happen? How could you? Is this part of your plan, Erik?" I cried, moving to stand in front of him, blocking his way. Erik paused, looking down on me incredulously, his lips set in a grim line.
"You can't pretend that you didn't know this was happening!" I cried, taking a step toward him. Instantly Erik stiffened, his eyes narrowing dangerously.
"Erik! How could you? How could you be so heartless?" I yelled, grabbing the edges of his cloak, lifting my face up to his.
"Heartless? I think not my dear," Erik began, his voice low and deadly. Suddenly he twitched his cloak out of my grasp and moved swiftly toward me, forcing me against the wall.
"Your Aunt Maria was prepared to throw you and your family out immediately after you insulted Cabartte yesterday," he spat, his fist lashing out to slam into the wall beside my head.
"And who stopped her? Me!" He yelled, pinning his other hand against the wall, effectively trapping me against him. Trembling, I looked up at him. His blue eyes were flashing, and his teeth were bared in a horrible snarl. Suddenly the full weight of his words crashed down on me.
"You…you did what?" I asked, my anger dissipating. "Why? Why would you do that?"
"Believe me Lizzy, I wish I hadn't," Erik growled, lowering his head, his thick chestnut hair falling about his face and mask.
"I don't understand," I said again, still trying to comprehend why Erik had suddenly taken such a major step in helping my family.
"It wouldn't be…helpful to me if you were to be dismissed. However, I had to buy your aunt off somehow. This was the only way," he said, his teeth clinched.
I shook my head at this sudden burst of generosity, and tried to hide my small smile of pleasure.
"Thank you," I said tilting my head up to his. With a snarl Erik moved away and threw himself into a nearby chair, his hand resting on his temple in his frustration, his breathing low and heavy.
With a small sigh I moved back to my packing, this time taking more care to fold some of my nicer evening gowns. It was quiet for a long time, and I soon managed to push Erik from my confused thoughts and began to try and put some plan together on how to return to Paris before the Season ended.
I only paused when I heard Erik rise from his chair. For a moment we just stared at one another, as if daring the other to make the first move. Finally, Erik walked over to where I was standing. My heart began to race, beating frantically against my chest when he rested his hand on my collarbone, his fingers cool against my warm skin.
Soon I was gasping quietly under his touch, and I desperately tried to quell my rising urge to pull him to me. Trying to think of something, anything, to distract me I recalled Sophie's request.
"Will…will you teach Sophie again? I believe that she misses your lessons," I asked quietly, suddenly not wanting to meet his eye. Was it really over a year ago that we'd been arguing over this very subject?
Erik didn't answer, but his hand slowly began to run up my neck, causing me to roll my eyes back with pleasure. He continued this gentle motion, his hand hovering over my throat, only touching enough to send shivers up my spine.
"Erik? Will you teach her?" I asked, trying to curb my reaction to his touch.
"Yes," he replied, his voice distant, his hand coming to cup my chin, forcing my gaze to his. His eyes were dark, almost animalistic in their hungry look and my lips hesitantly parted. I swallowed heavily licking my lips slowly and his eyes instantly followed the movement and his long arm came around my back, pulling me toward him.
"Keep your eyes and ears open, Lizzy," Erik said softly, his tone rich and musical. He ran his fingers down my neckline once more, eliciting a small moan from my lips. He smiled then, his lips curving sensually, eyes gleaming.
"Do try and stay out of trouble," he finished, and without another word he moved away from me, and I was left gasping at the sudden loss of his touch. With one final smirk, he activated the switch on the panel and drifted into the thick darkness beyond my wall.
