Chapter 54
When The Forgemaster groggily awoke the next morning, his first thought was one that every man experiences at least once in their lifetime.
'Why are my balls sore?' he thought.
He groaned and rubbed his eyes with a hoof, trying to rouse himself to a higher level of awareness. He sat up on the bed, and it was at that moment he realized that he wasn't alone on the bed. He turned his head around to see Rainbow Dash sleeping fitfully a few inches from his nose.
He chuckled to himself, and then thought, 'That's probably why…'
His question answered, he leaned over to her and kissed her on the cheek, the contact not waking her up. He then yawned and got out of bed. He took 3 steps towards the shower before he was stopped by a knock on the door. After checking to make sure that Dash hadn't woken from the noise, she hadn't, he went to the door and answered it. As the door opened, it revealed a slightly confused Shining Armor on the other side.
Shining Armor spoke first, "I'm sorry, sir, but I was told that this was Miss Dash's room-"
"Whatever gave you the impression that you were wrong?" The Forgemaster asked.
Shining Armor didn't respond for a moment, hesitantly, he took a look past The Forgemaster and into the room. He saw a sleeping Rainbow Dash in a dark room, only illuminated by the light spilling through the open door.
The Forgemaster spoke again, "If there is no immediate need to wake her, I suggest letting her sleep. She needs it after recent… exertions. As for me, I was planning on taking a shower before I was so rudely interrupted."
Shining Armor gave him a look and asked, "Are you and Miss Dash in a… relationship?"
The Forgemaster shook his head, "No, that's why we slept in the same room last night and the whole room smells like sex."
Shining Armor backed away from the door, but not before subconsciously taking a sniff. And, The Forgemaster was right: that ever so subtle combination of sweat and sexual pony pheromones positively littered the room.
Shining armor raised a brow and in a concerned voice, asked, "But, weren't you wounded, sir?"
He snorted, "I hardly think a few scrapes, cuts, and bruises would keep me out of bed with a beautiful mare. Is there anything that you needed, Captain?"
"N-no, sir. I just came by to tell Miss Dash that breakfast is served and that she and her friends are scheduled to be flown back to Ponyville by chariot at 3 PM, sir. And, I might as well tell you now that you have a meeting scheduled at the same time with some of the Equestrian military commanders. Apparently, they want to talk strategy with you… again. But before that Princess Celestia has requested your presence at breakfast."
He sighed, "Thank you for the warning, Shining Armor. You'll be present at the meeting too, yes?" At Shining Armor's nod, he continued, "Alright, I'll be there. Excuse me while I take a shower, now."
The Forgemaster promptly shut the door, leaving the good Captain on the other side to his own devices. He then did as he said he would, he took a shower. He let the warm water pound out all of the aches and sores on his body, before stepping out of the shower and redressing his wounds. He could always apply some accelerated healing to the wounds, but that would make the scars disappear faster. The Forgemaster always likes to keep a memento from his battles. The scars would fade on their own eventually, some sort of side-effect of being immortal, he guessed, scars rarely last longer than a decade before clearing away completely.
When he stepped out of the shower, he went over to Rainbow to wake her up. As it turned out, that is both easier and harder than what should be expected. He started by poking her and whispering her name, when that failed he gradually upgraded to full on shoves. Still, she didn't wake. He then decided to take a card out of an old friend of his' deck and leaned in and kissed her full on the lips.
With a small moan, she awoke in an instant. She immediately opened her eyes to see The Forgemaster not more than a few inches from her face, breaking away from a kiss.
She smiled a sultry smile and said in a seductive tone, "That was a nice way to wake up, but if you're going for broke, aim that muzzle of yours a little further south…"
He smiled back, "While I would like nothing more than to spend the day with you in bed, we are, unfortunately, required elsewhere. Come on, out of bed."
She groaned childishly and flung her blankets off. She then tried to heave herself off of the bed, but stumbled and hit the ground in a heap. She pushed herself up with her forelegs, but her hind legs remained where they were.
With some panic in her voice she said, "Oh buck! I can't move my hind legs!"
"Ha! I guess that horn thing of Celestia's worked better than I could've imagined…" Rainbow's face lit up at the memory, "You know… fingers aren't just good for foreplay, I think a massage might be in order, perhaps we could… stimulate some blood flow to the area."
She smirked, "You know just how to treat a mare, don't you?"
As he morphed into his human form, and flexed his fingers a few times, he said, "I like to think so… Now! Let's see what I can do for the lovely lady's numb hindquarters…"
wWwWwWw
After a pleasant, and intimate, moment, Rainbow was left with the complete use of her hind legs once more, much to her delight. Unfortunately for the 2, breakfast was being served and they needed to get to the dining room. When the ruler of Equestria beckons, you come… well, you do if you're sane, at least. The Forgemaster was accused of not being exactly sane once or twice, but not even he would pass up a free meal at a Princess's expense.
As The Forgemaster, as a pony, and Rainbow walked into the dining room, the first things that he noticed was the lack of guards, the presence of the other 'Elements' and Luna, and the delicious foods set upon the table. After giving a casual greeting to all at the table, he sat down at his seat and got ready to eat his meal. The Forgemaster eyed all of the other ponies sitting at the table, and waited until most of them were either chewing or drinking before making his move.
The Forgemaster smirked cheekily at Celestia and said, quite loudly, "So, Celestia. That horn trick that you showed us works great! Better than I could've hoped, actually. It was hard to get the old horn lined up right, but once we did, WOO, she was done in 10 seconds flat!"
Immediately 2 ponies were choking on their food and pounding their chests with their hooves, and 3 others were spurting out their drinks across the table, and all were blushing. Luna was looking around confused, as she didn't get the reference, and Rainbow was just laughing at her friends reactions and silently agreeing: it had worked wonders, after all. Pinkie was also giggling to herself, as nothing could faze her, apparently. After seeing the responses to his declaration, The Forgemaster laughed so hard as to cause the nearby stone and marble to quake, and after slapping the table with his undamaged hoof a few times in good humor, he accidentally cracked the heavy wooden table.
Ignoring the damaged table, he continued with his jokes, "I wonder what sorts of images would come to mind if a pony were to think of such an exquisite sexual position in the act?"
The blushes that immediately intensified on the still-choking ponies revealed that they had just then conjured images to mind that were… sexual in nature.
Rainbow Dash decided to join in on the teasing, "Don't knock to 'till you try it, girls! That was awesome! I couldn't even walk afterwards!"
The pair laughed and laughed at the ponies who were all trying to overcome their own embarrassment. Luna now apparently had an idea of what was going on, and chuckled in good humor along with the couple. The choking, giggling, and downright awkward moment caused by The Forgemaster and Rainbow Dash continued for a few minutes, before dying down in an awkward silence to last the ages.
Celestia was the one to break the oppressive silence, "That was unnecessary, Forgemaster."
He shook his head ruefully at her and said, "I just tried to tell you that your wonderful advice worked out great for us!"
"I did not need to know that." Huffed Rarity.
"Neither did Ah, t'be honest." Applejack agreed with her.
"Forgey! That was s~o funny when you made them all choke and gag and blush and-"
The Forgemaster cut her off, "Thank you Pinkie, your approval is noted."
Pinkie Pie got a sly grin on her face as she asked, "Oh, so it's just 'Pinkie' now, is it?"
The Forgemaster furrowed his brow in thought for a few moments before looking back at her and saying, "Yes, I suppose it is. Congratulations, Pinkie, you're number 5."
As Pinkie screamed, "YES!" and pumped her hoof, Twilight asked, "Wait, number 5? What do you mean?"
"She's the fifth one here that I call by something other than their entire name. There's Dashie, Twilight, Tia, Luna, and now Pinkie." He said, counting off in his head.
All of the ponies mentioned brightened when he said their name, except for Twilight, who looked… incredibly angry.
Breathing hard, she forced out in a harsh voice, "TIA!"
He smirked, knowing where this was going, so he leaned in and asked Twilight the same thing he asked Celestia, "Or do you prefer Celly?"
Bracing for lecture mode… Standby…
All personnel please proceed to safe zones…
Warning… Lecture mode… Initializing…
Engaging…
"SHE IS PRINCESS CELESTIA AND YOU CANNOT CALL HER ANYTHING ELSE-"
After having his and everyone else's eardrums so viciously assaulted by the sheer fury in her words, The Forgemaster made an invisible sound barrier around the lavender unicorn who, in her anger, didn't notice. She also failed to notice the looks of relief that sprung up across all of the other ponies' faces because she was so focused on her target, who, for his part, kept up a scrunched and pained face so that she wouldn't think anything was wrong with her lecture. After a good 5 minutes of unabashed fury, and some spontaneously combusting manes and tails, Twilight appeared to simmer down. Twilight, who thankfully had yet to notice the sound barrier, kept a murderous eye on The Forgemaster, apparently waiting for him to speak.
He lowered the barrier long enough to say in a questioning, "I apologize?"
Twilight is oblivious when pissed off, apparently, because she completely missed his tone, "You should! You will call her Princess Celestia from now on, and that's final." She said, stomping her hood to emphasis her point.
She narrowed her eyes at him, but he just smiled back cheekily.
Without turning from Twilight, The Forgemaster called out, "Hey Princess Celestia! Can I call you Celestia or Tia or Celly?"
Twilight grew a smug grin, confident that her teacher would back her up, this grin abruptly vanished when Celestia replied, and "I told you earlier that you can call me either Tia or Celly so long as we aren't in public."
The Forgemaster grew a smug grin to replace the one that had died on Twilight's face, which was frozen still in complete disbelief. In fact, he took it one step forward; he leaned in towards Twilight, reached out a hoof, and gently poked her on the nose and said, "Boop."
Twilight was so confused by the contact that she didn't even remember to be angry. She leaned away from the contact and shook her head once or twice, clearly bewildered. When she got over the confusion, The Forgemaster was happily crunching away at an apple, not even paying any attention to her.
Hoping to defuse a tense situation, or at least just being random, Pinkie asked, "Hey Forgey! How'd you get so good at the guitar!"
The Forgemaster raised a brow at the admittedly out of left field question, but answered nonetheless, "Well, I was trapped in a cave once with nothing but bats, rats, and a guitar for company. I think I stayed there for 3 months until I was rescued, gave me a lot of time to practice. Damn cave-ins, damn them to hell." His mouth dropped into a scowl at the end.
"How'd you survive for 3 months in a cave without food 'er water?" asked Applejack.
"There was food in the cave, and water, too. Food came in the form of dead rats and bats that I killed and, as luck would have it, a small underground stream that flowed through the tunnel I was trapped in. Didn't even need to be boiled, or at least, I hope not."
"How were you rescued?"
"Oh, the native tribes, real primitives, these guys, told tales about a 'mystical cave' that sang 'beautiful' yet 'intelligible' music." The Forgemaster putting quotes in the air with his hooves, to prove that they were real quotes, "And eventually an explorer named Indiana Jones showed up. Great guy, Indy, good friend of mine. As it turns out, it took 23 sticks of dynamite and one massively powerful force field to simultaneously rescue me and prevent my death. Ahhh, good times. Right after that, he went looking for The Ark of the Covenant."
He looked off into air, reminiscing, for a few moments. Until Twilight had a question.
"I had a question, if you don't mind?" At his nod, she asked, "I noticed that you're really good at transformation spells. Why is that?"
He shrugged, "You do them for long enough they sort of become second nature to you. It's really great when you're being chased by shadowy organizations, or if you just want to be someone else for a little while. Had a great time as President Clinton once, whew, almost got him impeached! Poor bastard."
"President?"
"Leader, in this case, of the United States of America. Presidents, in America, at least, are elected for 4 year terms until the people vote again for either another guy or the same guy. 2 term limit."
"So… a democracy?"
"Yes. Well, more like a representative democracy, not a direct democracy."
At Twilight's confused look, he elaborated, "After a few million it gets kind of hard to count the ballots, so they just threw in a representative system, it's a lot easier to count like 500 people's votes rather than 400 million or so."
The conversation went as such for several hours. The ponies all asked him various questions whether they be about parties, fashion, agriculture, magic, animals, or flying. Amongst a wide variety of other things, though those were the subjects most focused on.
Of particular interest, at least to Twilight, was the population of the Earth: roughly 7 billion. There were only around 50 million Equestrians scattered around the large land area that Equestria possesses. The mares all had difficulty wrapping their heads around such a large amount of people.
So it went, until the time came that the 6 mares' rides to Ponyville were scheduled to leave, and The Forgemaster's meeting with the Equestrian Army generals was time. The Forgemaster made it known that, since nopony was around to view the actual duel that the credit should go to his pony-persona. The girls, the princesses, and he all agreed on that course of action, namely; Crimson did it!
wWwWwWw
(No offense if you are in any form of military service. This is strictly pony vs. pony, and does not reflect upon my real-world views of the military.)
Already prepared in colt-form, 'Crimson Hammer', Shining Armor, and Princess Celestia awaited the generals' appearance in the strategy room. Or, as The Forgemaster called it, the war room. Before the generals arrived, however, there was time enough to lay down some rules to Shining Armor.
These rules came in the form of a lecture from both he and the princess, but the abridged form is thus: The Forgemaster, as a human, will be considered Crimson Hammer's second in command, above even Shining Armor, and will be introduced to the guards as thus. Shining Armor was also advised as to how the guards will be organized in the near future. Shining Armor was also informed that all attempts must be utilized to tell the Equestrian Army that the guards' leader was a colt. Lecture concluded, the generals walked in.
The first thing the 3 generals did as they entered was bow to the princess, making Crimson mutter under his breath, "Sycophants." Loud enough for only he, Celestia, and Shining Armor to hear.
At least one of the generals attempted being polite, "Lord-general Crimson, I did not know that you were injured. Pray-tell, what happened?"
Dramatically looking himself up and down, he replied in a colt's voice, "Oh, these? This is just what happens when you duel a god-demon while you wait for the 'Elements of Harmony' to show up."
"You… dueled with Discord?"
Smiling happily, he said, "Yep! Beat him, too!"
Another general spoke out saying, "I was under the impression that the 'Elements of Harmony' defeated Discord."
Frowning, he replied, "And who do you think bought them enough time to get the 'Elements', or who held down the demon as the beam shot him? It certainly wasn't you or one of your Army pansies. At least my Guards were out trying to keep the peace amongst the populace. What were you doing? Sniveling and hiding under your bunks?"
Celestia tried to defuse the situation, "Gentlecolts, please…" which was, surprisingly, ignored!
"Do you think that your guards are in any way superior to the Army?" one of the generals asked, voice low and dark.
"No, I mean to say that my soldiers could fight 1 to 3 odds against yours, and come out on top! I'd even bet 1000 bits on it!"
Without thinking, or even getting the opinions of his fellows, one yelled, "You're on!"
"Great! Go get your money, and meet us outside the Guards barracks after this meeting. Shining Armor, leave and go get that stallion and mare we saw fight earlier, remember?"
Shining Armor nodded, and left to go find those 2 soldiers.
"Alright, 'Generals'." He said with heavy sarcasm, even through the tiny, always giddy colt's voice he was using, "I chose 2, you get 6. Choose your best; I'd hate to sully the hooves of some of my more mediocre guards…"
Celestia finally made her presence felt, with a small amount of magical pressure applied to each of the generals and Crimson, she said, "Gentlecolts, please. You are acting like foals. Now, let's actually get on with this meeting…"
With no small amount of whispered insults, glares, and smirks the 2 parties came together for a short meeting regarding some new Intel that came up. As it turns out, the information didn't change the agreed-upon plan much, if at all. Perhaps it was Celestia's influence, but the meeting went fairly quickly, even given its short time frame.
In no time at all, the meeting was done and the fight was arranged.
Shining Armor and the 2 fighters The Forgemaster had chosen were waiting outside the Guard barracks when Crimson arrived, as an adult, at least until the generals show up in a few minutes.
"Alright, you two, has Captain Shining Armor told you anything?"
As the 2 shook their heads no, The Forgemaster continued, "Basically, we saw you fighting a few days ago, and thought you looked good. Now, you 2 have to beat the crap out of 6 Army ponies. A little challenge, arrogance, and a rather large bet can make any respectable pony do anything, it seems. You win, you get a chunk of the bet money pooled together between you 2, you lose and you lose the respect of all your fellows. Any questions?"
The stallion-pegasus-berserker had one, "Sir, why are we fighting them?"
"Because I asked."
The mare-unicorn had another, "Why did you choose us, sir?"
"I thought you looked good fighting earlier, and your wounds should be healed from that earlier fracas. Right?" At their nods, he continued, "Also, your squad was one of the only few that volunteered and succeeded in taking down a manticore, good job, by the way. Just fight how you did last time, with each other, only this time against a common foe. Alright, they should be arriving here soon, just act naturally, no pressure: you'll do fine."
The Forgemaster quickly zapped into his colt form, then explained as to why to the 2 Guards, getting amused grins in response. Shortly thereafter, the 3 generals, much of their divisions, and their 6 chosen fighters showed up. The Royal Guards in the barracks noticed and formed up outside their barracks. All, except those participating, were confused as to why they were there.
The Forgemaster used some magic and created a rough circle with some nearby equipment, and the fighters clambered in. The Forgemaster then flew above the ring and yelled out the rules, and why they were there.
"Alright, everypony shut it!" silence greeted him, both sides being trained to follow orders quickly.
"You're probably wondering why you're all here. Well, it's much to do with some harmless bragging and somepony taking it too far, which lead to a bet, which is why we're here today! 6 soldiers of the Equestrian Army vs. 2 Royal Guard ponies! 1000 bits from each participant in the bet, please."
The Forgemaster gathered the money up and placed it in the middle of the ring, much to the disbelieving eyes of all those ponies present.
"Alright, here are the rules: no weapons, and that's it! 8 ponies go in, my Guards step out! Go at your enemy as though he were a threat to you, medical ponies are standing by, so don't worry. Also, though there are no rules try and at least avoid killing your opponents. That is all, at the count of 5, commence beat down!"
The Forgemaster drifted lazily back down to his Guards' side, he whispered to them, "Just stick together, complement your battle-brother or sister's moves. Always think, but don't hesitate to react. If you're lucky, they'll underestimate you. Exterminate them, maximum prejudice."
He then yelled out, "Alright! Everypony ready? 5-4-3-2-1-Fight!"
The ponies were no more than 7 paces away, the circle being surrounded on all sides by ether guards or soldiers. The circle was no more than 30 feet in diameter.
The fight started rather quickly, one pony from the Army side making the stupid decision to run past his allies and straight at the Guards. A single hoof to the face from the stallion Guard, with a loud crunch of broken bone and cartilage, and he was out like a light. After that, the others came at the Guards much, much more cautiously. And in the end, that's what doomed them.
With a roar that momentarily stunned the Army ponies into immobility, the stallion-berserker ran full tilt at them, this time, the mare charging in right behind him to support him. With the momentary distraction the roar gave him, the berserker managed to buck one in the face, putting him out of the fight as well. When they tried to counter attack, the berserker shrugged off their blows like so many ineffectual slaps from foals. With their concentration on the larger and more immediate threat, they didn't notice that the mare had followed right behind him. With a sickening crack, another guard went out from a strike from behind, courtesy of the mare.
Now on almost equal footing, the 3 last soldiers had literally no chance in hell of defeating the other 2 Guards. The berserker-guard went flailing about, taking down one more while the mare caught the hoof of one of the other 2 and twisted the poor soldier's hoof until it broke. The final soldier wisely decided to surrender.
The fight was over in no more than 42 seconds.
The Forgemaster flew out into the ring, stunned silence came from each pony that hazed upon the scene.
He yelled out, "Royal Guards - 6, Equestrian Army – 0. Congratulations, you 2, you are leaving this arena 100 bits richer, the both of you. First round's on you at the bar!"
The Army ponies backed away, grumbling to themselves. The generals were furious that they lost the bet. The Royal Guards ALL went running out the gate to the nearest pub, and their 2 champions were hoisted high upon their fellows, after collecting the innings of course. For his part, The Forgemaster let this momentary slip of discipline to happen, and lined his pockets with 1000 bits left on the pile of bet money.
"That was actually… much, much easier than I thought it would be. Training seems to work off, doesn't it?" He remarked to no one in particular.
(A/N – Oi! If you have any suggestions on either what episodes I should do next, or perhaps a personal idea, feel free to leave a review!)
