~ ashayam: beloved

~ t'hai'la: soulmate

~ k'hat'n'dlawa: half of each other's heart & soul

~ ashalik: darling

Thanks so much for all the positive feedback and constructive criticism. And thank you all for sticking with this fic!


Nyota came out of the shower towel drying her hair. There were allowed one real shower a week and that was when she washed her hair. It felt great. She had already bathed the children and put them down in the living area. Sarek and Amanda were given separate quarters, so the kids had a bit more room. She sighed and went to her husband, giving him the towel to finish drying her hair and a comb. He set down his PADD and took the towel and comb from her, leading his wife to sit on the edge of their bed.

"So, husband, how are you?" She asked, a happy lilt coloring her words as she leaned into her husbands ministrations.

"I am well, wife. I am…" He sighed as he gently rubbed the towel through her hair, thinking for a moment of what he whished to tell his wife. "All has happened in such a short amount of time." He stopped and sat next to her, taking her hands in his. "Christopher has told me that Star Fleet will offer me the Enterprise when we reach Earth. I am unsure how I feel about this. I do not wish to put my family in unnecessary danger."

Nyota took a breath. "Sweetheart, what do you want? If we weren't married, if we didn't have the children, what would you do?"

"Everything would be different, Nyota. I would be a different person. I do have you, I do have the children." He reasoned. Nyota chuckled but had to agree with his logic.

"Hmm, okay. The captaincy of the Enterprise, this is something you would've been working towards as Pike's First Officer. He went so far as to petition to allow families on board to keep you as his first officer. So he has faith in you, as he should, so I'm not surprised Star Fleet does. They don't make just anyone a captain." She shrugged. "As for the danger? Well, I think we've learned that safety is a relative term. Would we be safer on Earth? Maybe, maybe not. So, I believe staying on the Enterprise would be totally logical and workable if we decided to go that way."

She wound her damp hair and placed it over one shoulder before shifting so she was resting against her husband's chest, taking his arms and placing them around her waist.

"So, the other side is, Vulcan is gone and there will be a huge push to find a new home world and rebuilding will take time and work. You are half Vulcan; our children are more Vulcan than human, biologically at least. I'm the bondmate of a Vulcan with much to offer, if I do say so myself. There will undoubtedly be a strong feeling of obligation to help rebuild. This is a consideration as well. I mean, if we didn't stay in Star Fleet, would you want to return to Earth?" She felt him give a slight shrug.

"Your arguments are valid, all points you have taken are based in logic. So, we need to assess our desires and what is best for Samuel and T'Sara." He reasoned.

"Our desires. Hmmm." Nyota twisted around and looked into Spock's eyes. "I desire you. I desire our children's happiness. I've worked hard to be the best at xeno-linguistics, to excel in xeno-anthropology. I've worked hard to have a great career, but honestly, Spock, with all that's happened I know that people come first. My family comes first. Love, my sweet, sweet husband, that come first."

He chuckled and pulled her into his arms. "I love you, S'chn T'gai Nyota Uhura-Grayson. You give meaning to my life; you bring me gifts I never anticipated. I've experienced a mother's love, the love of my grandparents, aunts, uncles…cousins. And now you, you have given me the opportunity to share a life, a love. So much, k'diwa, you have given me so much. I only desire a life with you and with our children. I do not know how I can experience…happiness at a time such as this. But you have made all things tolerable; I do not know how I could have survived the past events…" Nyota shushed him with a deep kiss. Pulling back from him, she smiled.

"For being so Vulcan, you are such a romantic. Spock, I could live anywhere as long as I can live with you. Now, what do you want? The Enterprise? A vineyard in Napa? A new Vulcan home world?" Nyota waited for him to respond.

"I need to speak with my father and with Christopher. Then we will make the decision. Together." He pulled her back into his arms and laid her back on the bed with him. "Nytoa, ashayam, I burn for thee." He peppered kissed over her shoulders.

"Then I shall quench your fire, my love. However, we must extinguish these flames quietly. The children are right outside the door and they certainly have that darned Vulcan hearing." Her eyes were lit with humor.

"Umm, quietly." Spock continued to peruse his wife's body. Through the haze of his desire he marveled at the mind's ability to survive. To grieve, to go on, to live. Although he had to admit to himself, he was not sure he would have been able to survive the past weeks, the lost of so many souls, the loss of his home world, the loss of Gregory, without the constant support of his bondmate. Without the love of his children. Without his father. Without his mother. Illogical to consider, he knew. He shook his head and continued to make love to his wife and allowed himself to be lost in her.


Nia held Jacob as Dr. McCoy gave him his check up. "I'm sure he's fine, you know? But I've been so distracted…is he okay?"

McCoy chuckled as he ran his scanner over the boy after giving him a visual once over. "He seems just fine, Ms. Grayson. Actually, he's in excellent health. I think that Vulcan air was good…oh, I apologize…I…" Bones rolled his eyes at his insensitivity.

"Doctor, please." Nia smiled. "It's impossible to not talk about Vulcan. People on this ship have been walking on eggshells this past month. Thank goodness we'll be reaching Earth in two weeks or I'm sure we'd all be ready for intense therapy." She set Jake on the floor and watch as he cautiously wobbled over to the nearest chair. "I'm sure the air on Vulcan was good for him. He was born there. It's the only home he ever knew. Now, he'll have to get acclimated to wherever the new Vulcan home world will be."

"What?" He was surprised.

"I've talked with Sarek and Amanda. I need to do something. All the death and destruction. The Vulcan people will be rebuilding for years and there were so many children left orphaned." She turned to him. "You know as many children as possible were put in the escape vehicles, their parents sacrificed everything so they could live. I know I can help. I need to help and Amanda and I are already in the process of finding funds to build homes to help raise the children when we settle. I mean, all the living Vulcans will give of themselves, but they're trying to cope with the devastation, Earth and Betazed are sending counselors to help with the high counsel's agreement. You know it's bad when Vulcan people will accept that kind of help." She shrugged and reached down to pick up her son.

"How does your family, Greg's family feel about this?" He asked, curious about her decision.

"They were upset at first. I mean, Jake is their only link to Greg. But Jenna and Kyle said that they might see if there was something they couldn't do once a home world is found. And if nothing else, they'd come to visit often. And once Jake is older, I want him to stay with his Terran family for part of the year. Just like Spock did." She reasoned.

"Terran? You are Terran. You do realize you're still in shock, don't you? That these life decisions may seem rash once you settle down, once you enter therapy, all this may seem somewhat…over done." McCoy waited for her reaction.

"Of course I know I'm human, it's just a way to differentiate." She paused and thought of what the doctor said. "Have you ever been in love, Doctor? I don't mean with another person, like the way I love Greg. I mean in love with a people, with a way of life, with a concept. Vulcan, the planet, their way of life…you see them as cold, as unfeeling, but they aren't. They feel so deeply, Doctor. And I was privy to that life. I lost my husband but I lost so many friends, as well. And I know Greg would approve. Because, Doctor, for all his charm, for all his irreverence, his openness, he felt just as deeply. He understood the Vulcan people just as he understood and loved Spock." She stood up and shifted her son to her hip. "Thank you for all your help, Dr. McCoy."

McCoy watched her walk out with a smile on his face. She was one hell of a woman. Just like her sister. Greg Grayson, despite his too short life, he had the love of a wonderful woman. And Spock, his life would forever be better because of the woman he married. If only he had met someone like them, his life would be so different. Oh, well…he shrugged and turned to fill out his reports.


Sarek looked up as his wife entered their compartment. It was small, one room with a bed and washroom, but as far as he was concerned, it was more than serviceable. He was able to be with his wife. To look at her, take her into his arms, let her know just what she meant to him. He was always aware of his deep affection for Amanda. As he admitted to his son, his love for her. But with the belief that he had lost her the realization that his life would be empty without her hit him like a physical blow. And now that he had her back she would never be unaware of his admiration, his affection…his love. Amanda smiled and went to him.

"K'diwa, I was never in doubt of your love for me. Or your love for our son." She took his PADD from his hands and laid it aside before sitting in his lap. "I love you, Sarek. And I will love you for as long as I have breath in this body. Never doubt that."

Pulling her into his embrace, Sarek laid his lips against her temple. "Life without you, t'hai'la, is not worth living." He moved his lips down and kissed her, gently parting her lips with his, delving into her warmth, relishing her taste. Amanda returned his adore, closing her eyes, she allowed her mind to merge with his.

She shuddered as she experienced his days without her. His angst, his pain, his anger, his regret…his desolation. Tears freely fell from her eyes as she held him close to her. She pulled away and looked into his eyes. "Oh, my love, I'm so sorry for your pain. That I was the cause…"

"Shhh, k'diwa, you were not the cause. It was Nero; he was the cause of so much death, so much destruction. But I cannot fathom of a time when we are not together. Amanda, you are truly k'hat'n'dlawa. Life without you is unthinkable." His voice was raw with emotion.

"Darling, this is illogical. I will die someday; I will not live as long as you will. We must come to terms with this fact because you must go on." She whispered as he pulled her into another kiss.

"Someday, Amanda. But not now. Not today." He stood up and carried her to the bed they shared. "Not today, my love, my life."

Amanda sighed into his neck. "No, ashalik, not today."


She scanned the listings several times a day. Survivors were being found daily, but so far she had not found Gaila or Suval. Nyota sighed and turned as she felt her husband enter their quarters.

"Well, Captain, how goes you day?" She smiled up at him but he was not fooled by her light banter.

"No word on Gaila?" He asked as he set his sleeping daughter on her cot. "She is quite tired; she was visiting with Grandmother and Amanda. It appears they took it upon themselves to entertain the children we have aboard with an impromptu play."

"T'Pau? She was in a play?" She was incredulous, but couldn't keep the laughter out of her voice.

"It appears Grandmother wrote and directed." He replied with smirk. "Sara was given a lead roll."

Hmm, nepotism, I love it. Sounds like she had a good time." She chuckled as she looked past him. "Where's Samuel?"

"He wanted to visit with Leonard a while longer. They get along quite well." He turned back to her wife after he removed his daughter's shoes. "Now, how is my a'duna?"

"Sad, she's sad. I think I may have lost my best friend, Spock. I know I have no right to feel like this. I mean, our babies survived, Nia, your mother. And so many were lost, but…" She took a deep breath, attempting to reign in her emotions.

"My love." Spock took her into his arms. "Gaila has been your best friend for years. It is only natural that you grieve. However, we do not know the outcome. Do not mourn for her yet, she is a survivor. If anyone could find a way, she would."

"Have I told you just how much I love you today?" She smiled up at him.

"Today? No, not yet." He gave her that half smile that made her tummy flip.

"Spock, stop being so charming. Sam's coming soon and Sara's just napping." She chastised him with a chuckle.

"I have no ulterior motives. I merely was relaying the facts. You have not verbally indicated your feelings for me today." He kissed her before turning towards the bedroom. "I need to shower and we need to retrieve Samuel from Leonard."

"You shower, I'll get Sammy." She responded. "Oh, and Spock?"

"Yes, k'diwa?" He lifted a brow in question.

"I love you."


"Nytoa!" Nia came running into the mess and went directly to her sister.

"Nia, what's wrong?" Nyota held onto the edge of the table.

"Nothing's wrong. Something's so right." She smiled. "I was looking over the latest survivor list and Gaila's alive! So is Suval! An Andorian cargo ship found their pod. Their communications were iffy, so it took a while to get the word out. Oh, Ny, Gaila's alive."

"Do you know how they are? Were they injured? Where are they…?" Nia put her fingers over her sister's lips.

"Ny, calm down. They're on their way to Earth. They should be there when we arrive." She laughed.

Nyota bit her lower lip to keep from crying. "I'm so happy, Nia. Let's go find Spock."


The Enterprise was a few days from Earth and everyone was getting antsy. The demeanor amongst the crew was subdued but they seemed to find solace in spending time with the Vulcan survivors. And as odd as it was, many of the Vulcans appeared to find solace in their time spent among the Terran.

McCoy had made note of this in his logs and spoke to Spock on this anomaly. "So, what do you make of it?"

Spock merely shrugged. "I cannot make assertions on something that I have no point reference upon. I can only…assume."

"Okay, Captain, what is your assumption?" He asked. Before he could answer, first officer Kirk spoke up.

"Well, okay, I'm not a Vulcan genius or a medical doctor. And I know you didn't ask my opinion," Kirk, who had been sitting with his new captain and McCoy, jumped in, "but it looks like we, humans, need the logic, the stoicism of the Vulcan mind. It dilutes our pain. And maybe, just maybe our emotions, our pain, helps you guys to access your pain. Maybe pass through it."

Spock raised his brow. "I am not a psychologist, but perhaps you have an adequate theory."

"Yeah, and maybe after six weeks the ship is getting too small and we're tired of our own kind." McCoy offered.