51- Coming To America

Thanks to my beta, Ambiguity

Severus's eighteenth birthday came and went. No one remembered or seemed to care, including Severus. Days turned into weeks, which turned into months. Severus and Lucius were almost strangers and rarely spoke to one another. Lucius would be summoned from time to time, but never with Severus. After Lucius's summons, his mood almost seemed fouler. Severus spent his weekends working for Damocles Belby. He still spent his weekends cleaning the Belby lab and putting up with the younger Belby children. Belby had made little progress on his Wolfsbane, but Severus still continued to research on his behalf.

One Sunday evening, an owl arrived for Belby while Severus was cleaning up.

"Damn it!" Belby roared and threw the letter down.

"Something wrong?"

"Yes, Severus, something is wrong…Damn, damn, damn!"

"I take it it's rather bad news, then?"

"Yes, Severus," Belby mocked, mimicking Severus's voice. "The Potions Conference is in New York this year. I, or one of my associates, must attend or I'll lose my brewing license."

"Really?"

"Yes. You must attend at least one conference every five years. I've not attended the other four."

"Why can't you attend?"

"It's my youngest child's birthday that weekend. I already have things planned…you'll have to go."

"What? Where?"

"It's in New York, in America."

"I can't go to America!" Severus exclaimed. There was no way the Dark Lord would allow it.

"Why not? Talk to your tutor; it's a five day conference. All expenses paid for. You'd need to pass all the information you gather there to me to submit for my renewal for my license. You leave next Monday."

"I…I'm not sure if I'll be able to…"

"You are going, Severus Snape!" Belby insisted, and pointed to the door for Severus to leave. Severus walked out the door with his head held low, when he heard a very loud BOOM!, and then felt himself fall straight down to the floor. He looked up to find the sun blocked by a massive figure in front of him.

"Severus?" a familiar voice asked.

"Hagrid," Severus acknowledged as the giant offered his hand to help him up. "Um, no thanks, I'll let myself up."

"Oh, 'at's right, last time I helped ya, I hurt ya. I'm still so sorry, Severus. That's not why ya left Hogwarts, is it?"

"That's precisely why, Hagrid: after seven years, I decided my sore shoulder required me to just leave," Severus responded as he helped himself up. Hagrid looked a bit confused. "I'm joking."

"Oh good! Well, uh, watcha doin' here tonight?"

"I work here for Belby…"

"Oh, you brew?"

"No, I research. I'm going to be a Healer."

"I see. Fine job there, Severus…fine!"

"Yeah. Well, it was good seeing you, Hagrid. I have to head back now."

"I see. Oh, by da way there, that boy from Durmstrang who looks like ya, he's quite odd, actually."

"I know. I don't like him."

"Well, me neither. He set fire to me forest!"

"That was…oh yeah, he did that," Severus lied. "He's a jerk!"

"Yeah, well, good seein' yer there, Severus. You take care now," Hagrid said with a large smile. Severus smiled and headed back to the Manor. Once there, he got his robes and summoned himself to the Dark Lord. Severus arrived back at the Lestrange Estate, which was where the Dark Lord must have been. He was Apparated to the back garden, which was covered with snow that late February evening.

"Severus! Come here, join me," the Dark Lord said from his seat near a large bonfire. Severus dropped his mask and took a seat next to his master. "What brings you out this fine but chilly night?"

"Damocles Belby requests I attend a Potions Conference in New York in a week since he cannot attend. It's for five days."

"I see. And, naturally, you wish to go."

"No, I do not wish to go. Also, I cannot leave for so long: what if you require my services?"

"Oh, and what services would those be? In case I break my arm again?"

"No, my Lord, that's not what I meant…"

"Calm down, Severus. Humor is not something I've ever understood or mastered. Until you've taken your N.E.W.T's I really do not need you for much. But why else do you not want to attend?"

"I have no desire to go to America, my Lord, and…"

"Severus, please. We are having a conversation here -- no need to be so rigid and so damned polite. Just speak your mind."

"Well, I just don't want to go to America alone for a week."

"Why are you scared?" the Dark Lord asked, clearly sensing fear from Severus.

"It's just…there is no wizarding village there…"

"Sure there is! It's called Greenwich Village, Severus."

"Really? I thought that was just Muggles…"

"There's the Muggle part and the wizard part. It's vast, much larger than Hogsmeade. The conference will be held there. Yes, I know about the conference already. You may attend, if you wish. If you don't want to, tell Belby no."

"Thank you, my…umm…thanks."

"Something else troubles you, something about Lucius; what is it?"

"He's just acting odd lately."

"Yes, he's having some difficulties that I will not divulge, though I'm surprised he has not told you of them himself."

"He does not speak to me anymore, unless he must."

"Why is that do you think, Severus?"

"I think…I think he's jealous, my Lord."

"Oh? Of you?" he asked as Severus nodded and looked down. He felt like he was betraying Lucius somehow. "Well, he shouldn't be too upset by it. Maybe if he were of more use to me, he'd have a better opinion of himself. His own personal ambitions often supersede the ones he should have for me."

"I…I understand."

"Do you? I noticed, with you, you often think of me before yourself. Like this trip, for example. You put my agenda and my affairs before your own. Most Death Eaters would be packed and halfway to the Portkey before they even thought to inform me of their leaving town. But not you. You are loyal. I wish I had more loyal followers like you, Severus."

Severus stared ahead and did not say a word.

"I know what you are thinking," the Dark Lord interjected. Severus turned to meet his gaze. "And no, I did not invade your mind either, the look on your face says it all. You are loyal to me because you have no one else to be loyal to. You have no influence in your life to guide you. You have no one to respect or admire. You have no one to offer you guidance except Lucius, and he's doing a piss poor job, if you ask me. I was just like you, all alone in the world. No one helped me. Oh, Dumbledore claimed he helped me a great deal, but he did not. True, he got me to Hogwarts but, once there, he just forgot about me. I had to take care of myself, and that was very difficult and rather awful. I don't wish you to live like I had to. When this war is over, you'll find you will have a very high position beside me, Severus. We'll rename St. Mungo's after you!" the Dark Lord said with a large smile.

"I don't think St. Severus sounds very good."

"Nor do I, St. Snape sounds better."

"Why would I wish to have my father's name broadcast like that?" Severus asked genuinely.

"Because, if it weren't for your filthy and disgusting Muggle father, my dear Severus, you would not be here…and you would not be you. That's why I keep my filthy Muggle father's name. Not out of honor or respect, but out of revenge and hate. You and I are living proof of that which the Muggles fear most! We are wizards, Severus, the very thing they mock, yet we are a part of them. It's adding insult to injury."

"I understand."

"Do you? Don't ever be ashamed of that name, it's your name, and you are extraordinary." Severus listened carefully to the Dark Lord's words, as he attempted to lift Severus's spirits. "Don't worry about Lucius. He needs to find better ways to serve me. I also know he's undergoing some personal problems currently."

"Really? What?" Severus asked as the Dark Lord smiled.

"I thought he would have told you himself, but if he did not, I cannot tell you, as he came to me distressed and asked that we keep it private."

"Oh, Narcissa mentioned something but I'm not sure what it is."

"I'm sorry if he's being mean to you. Shall I talk to him about his behavior?"

"Oh no, it's not that bad really," Severus fibbed slightly. "I mean, he seems to be under a lot of stress, babysitting me must not be his top priority."

"I'm certain it is not. And as for the babysitting, well, that was your own fault so if he's angered, just give him time to cool some."

"I will, my Lord. Is there anything else you wish to discuss with me before I leave?"

"No. Be careful while abroad. America is a horrid place overall, but they love witches and wizards -- not that they know the entire truth about our existence. They carry weapons there too called guns, so be careful."

"I will; thank you for letting me go."

"You're welcome, Severus, and good luck!" the Dark Lord said as Severus rose to leave. He bowed once and then returned to the Manor.

Once back in the Manor, he heard Lucius calling his name. It appeared Lucius was in his study, so Severus assumed he had made more spelling errors on his notes. When he entered, he found his former friend sporting two days or so of facial hair growth, his robes looking rather wrinkled, and his normally pristine hair looking disheveled.

"Ah, Severus, where were you?"

"Where do you think?" Severus responded coldly. Lucius was glaring at him, and Severus was getting tired of it.

"I see…that's not why I asked you to come here; take a seat," Lucius said in a somewhat milder tone. Severus took a seat near the fire place. "Is this is your work?" Lucius asked, removing a mostly empty vial from his pocket and handing it to Severus. Severus sniffed it and did not recognize the potion at first, so he made a troubled face. "It's contraceptive potion."

"Oh, no…I've never brewed it," Severus responded and handed the vial back.

"I see…now I'm even more perplexed."

"Why would I brew contraceptive potion? Your stores downstairs don't even have the necessary ingredients."

"True. I don't brew it anymore, so I'm not sure where she got it from."

"She? Narcissa I assume?"

"Of course it's Narcissa! Take some advice, Severus…don't ever get married," Lucius insisted as he took a seat across from Severus. He then buried his face in his hands before sighing.

"I won't!"

"I mean it!"

"I know you do!"

"I'm serious, Sev!"

"I know you are!"

"I'm not kidding!"

"I know!"

"Stop agreeing with me!"

"Okay!" Severus spoke as Lucius's face grew red with anger. Lucius then realized that Severus had just stopped agreeing with him, so he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Why shouldn't I marry, out of curiosity? I thought you were quite fond of the ritual."

"I was, but now I see I was wrong."

"I thought you two were happy."

"Do we look happy?"

"She looks happy."

"That's because she's getting her way…and deceiving me!" Lucius said. He rose from his seat and began to pace the room. "All these months I wondered why she was not getting pregnant…until three days ago, when I found this!" he said, as he threw the vial into the fire.

"Well, I mean, you just got married and…"

"No! We agreed to have a child during our first year of marriage. All these months I've been wandering around, suspecting there was something wrong with me. I even went and got tested by a Healer only to find I'm as potent as any man. So then I thought it must be her, so I asked her to see a Healer, and she just blew me off!"

"I take it she does not want a child now?" Severus asked.

"Well, obviously not! But why not just tell me she was taking that potion? Why hide it?"

"Well…maybe she thought if she told you, you'd respond like this."

"Oh, shut up! I didn't ask you here to offer advice, Severus. I just…I just don't understand her! She wants us to live like we were single again, she refuses to just settle down with me."

"Okay…well, not much I can say…"

"I said, shut up. What could you possibly have to say to me? I can't believe this. We both agreed we wanted children, and now she suddenly fears she'll grow fat!"

"Oh."

"Yeah! Oh! That's what she said when I confronted her earlier. She said she fears she'll grow fat, and her breasts will sag, and her…well…that she'll never be the same down there anymore. She told me she's disgusted by the prospect of pregnancy and motherhood!"

"Wow. She could have the child surgically removed, you know, then she'd be fine…down there."

"Oh, for fuck's sake. Who cares if she puts on a few pounds? So what? So she'd lose it in a few months! It's no reason to not have a child!" Lucius spoke angrily, while still pacing the room. "And now I feel useless to the Dark Lord…I've been fighting with the board of Governors to have that moron Dumbledore sacked, and it's getting me nowhere!"

"Calm down, just calm down. Look, as for the Dark Lord…just, maybe put his needs ahead of your own for a while."

"What? I can't! I have no needs, I'm married. All I have are her needs!"

"Well, put his before hers, I guess."

"That's insane! Who can live like that?" Lucius asked.

"You joined him knowing this would be the cost, man! Deal with it! Just…maybe whatever you do for him, it's just not enough, you need to do more for him. Think of better ways to aid him on his quest."

"I offer him money and connections. I have nothing else to offer."

"Brew him some potions, then. Don't ask, just brew some. Healing potions for Death Eaters who get injured, stuff like that. Instead of waiting for orders, ask him if there is anything you can do for him," Severus offered as Lucius's face softened. "I think he's fond of you, but I think he thinks you put your job and wife before him and his cause. If you do that, then he won't rely on you as much, so when he's victorious, you won't be rewarded as much."

"He told you this?"

"We talked some about it, that's just what I gathered."

"I'm so glad you two meet at night to talk about me!" Lucius whined and rolled his eyes.

"We don't; he knows that you are upset about something. Did you tell him about Narcissa?"

"Yes. He told me to just destroy the potion, lock her in the room, and practically rape her."

"Oh…well, I'd not advise that myself."

"Sad thing is, she'd probably like that. I never should have married someone so…perverted," Lucius said as Severus's eyes widened, and then he burst into laughter. "What? What's so damn funny?"

"You! You are the King of perverts! And she your Queen! Shit, you are two of a kind, for fuck's sake!"

"Shut up! That is my wife you are talking about!" Lucius roared violently. He got up from his seat and paced the room again. He blasted several books magically and then sat back down. "Don't you remember when I told you that there's women you fuck, and then there's women you marry?"

"I thought that was just your prudish bullshit you were laying on me."

"No! It's the truth! And what did I do? What did I do? I went and married a woman I fucked!"

"Well…I mean, I'd not marry a woman I hadn't fucked, so…"

"You have no morals and no ethics whatsoever! I'm not like you, Sev."

"Gee, thanks, man."

"You're very welcome. Take that trash you brought around here last summer -- see, that's a woman you fuck, not one you marry and have children with."

"Ruby was nice."

"Ruby dumped your arse for no good reason!" Lucius reminded Severus, who had no comeback line for once.

"I see."

"Well…I can't do all that kinky shit with my wife! She's a Malfoy wife now! Someday, God willing, she'll be a Malfoy mother. No mother of my child can wear leather and sport a whip and candle wax!" Lucius said as Severus lifted a brow in curiosity.

"What's the wax for?"

"Oh, shut up! Anyway, all she wants to do is that kinky stuff. I can't make a baby whilst performing kinky stuff!"

"So…just what? Is the conception of a Malfoy heir only to be performed via missionary position?" Severus asked in a joking tone, only Lucius thought he was serious.

"No, she can get on top if she likes, but that's about it."

"Look. You're a freak, she's a freak…together you'll have kids who will be freaks, what's the big deal?"

"I just told you what the big deal is. I can't sit at the breakfast table across from a child who I know was ushered into this world with his mum tied down to the bed and his father careening her from behind!"

"I'm quite fond of from behind, actually…nice view, easy access…"

"Oh, shut up!" Lucius snapped, and then calmed down some after taking several deep breaths. "This isn't what I expected. Living here with father is horrible. I mean, my poor wife is the lady of the house, and he won't even let her redecorate! She can't throw garden parties or teas without him knowing, we have no privacy…thanks to you too, by the way!"

"I know, I'm sorry about that."

"Marriage, it's just not what I expected. I expected a happy wife, who would give me children, and be…normal! Instead I have a randy woman…"

"Who uses candle wax…"

"Shut up…who's miserable because of father, and wants to just pretend to be single forever. It's not working out."

"But, there's so much time for children, man."

"Is there? We're not getting any younger. The Malfoy line dates back over two thousand years, I'm feeling a bit of pressure to keep it going!"

"Can I offer some advice now?"

"Sure, I'm sick of telling you to shut up, it's clear you never will."

"You're right. Why not a compromise? Maybe hold off on babies for one year? Why not ask your father if she can redecorate one room, like the informal dining room or the great room? And, for God's sakes, man, if your wife wants to tie you up, force you to wear a tutu, pour wax all over you, bite you, scratch you, or do anything short of ramming stuff up your ass…just let her do it! This is not Victorian times, you know."

"I don't know. Father hates to give her the power to do anything in this house. He had no problem with Miss Volques wanting to paint my great room purple, though!"

"He was under a spell. He probably loves the way your mum decorated this house, and hates to see it go. Plus, this is his house after all, not yours, not yet."

"I know, but she is the lady of the house, the only lady here, it's her job to decorate. She wishes to make some minor changes and he refuses her on all of them."

"Shit, just Imperius him and let her do it."

"I'd prefer he just did it. I'm scared he'll get brain damage if I curse him anymore."

"Well, that's all the advice I can offer, but I will take yours. I will not marry. And I didn't need you to tell me not to. Jesus, look at the time. I have so much to do before I leave for America."

"What? America? Why?"

"Potions Conference for Belby. That's why I was with the Dark Lord tonight. I needed his permission to go."

"Oh…well, I uh…well, that makes sense."

"Yes! See, no reason to be jealous!"

"What part of America?"

"New York."

"Oh, the Village? Charming place. Americans are weird, though, be careful. They love witches and wizards, but that's only because they think we are not real. Oh, and they carry these weapons called guns, so be careful."

"Armed Muggles -- sounds charming."

"Muggle New York is very dangerous; you must keep your guard up, Sev. I'm serious. I'd not leave the wizarding village if I were you."

"I don't plan to."

"Good. Well…even though nothing was resolved, I'm kind of glad we had this talk," Lucius confessed, and it appeared to pain him to do so.

"Me too. So you'll stop being a dick to me in Potions class now?"

"No, don't push it, kid. I meant what I said: your handwriting is atrocious."

"I'll see what I can do. I'll be gone for five days or so."

"There are some decent pubs, they call them bars, in the Village. If you must go to that horrid America, you may as well enjoy yourself some. Don't fuck any of the whores there, Muggle or otherwise! They are diseased."

"Unlike the ones here, you mean?"

"They have these weird American diseases. You should get along fine there, those Americans have no morals or ethics either, just like you!"

"I thought the Puritans founded America?"

"They did, then they died and these weird gun-wielding perverts took over. Be careful. You have heard of Salem and the witch burnings, haven't you?"

"Yes, and that was ages ago! They don't do that anymore. Besides, I thought Los Angeles and Las Vegas were the most dangerous places in America."

"They are bad too, don't be fooled. It's a massive landmass full of…debauchery."

"Sounds like a place you'd love to visit again…if you were single, I mean."

"Precisely."

"Okay, I'll be careful; oh and, Lucius, I have a question."

"What?"

"What's the candle wax for, again?"

"Oh, just shut up, Severus."

The two changed their topic to other Death Eaters, Hogwarts, and what Lucius was battling with the other Governors. Most of the talk was light, but Severus didn't mind. He was just happy to have his friend back.