'I am resilient, and when I'm knocked down I get back up because I am my mothers daughter.. What would you have done? We never discussed me having a child of my own or if I had feelings for someone but I was unsure of what to do... I know what you would say, go for it! Don't hold back, but it's not so simple anymore. I have my baby to think about and she has to come first..'
She reached to the ceiling as she laid in bed. Trying to get back the perfect feeling she had with Neji.
She glanced at the clock when she felt Hatsukoi was awake. Wiping her tears, she sits up and leaves her bed for Hatsukoi's.
"Hi my sweet heart. Did you have a good sleep?" she asked walking into her room
Hatsukoi was holding onto the railing of her crib with 'Ne Ne' in one hand as she cooed 'mum' over and over.
"Diaper change" she said picking her up from out of the crib along with 'Ne Ne'. Her eyes lingering on the toy as Hatsukoi was clinging to it.
"There all done" she smiled, still glancing at the bunny
She walked with her to the livingroom, placing her on the floor for her to explore.
"Baby, do you want to give Ne Ne to mommy?" she said holding out her hands to the toy
"No" she said softly shaking her head and holding onto the bunny tighter
"Give Ne Ne to mommy" she said tugging at the bunny's ear
"No" she whines holding tighter
"Hatsukoi, give Ne Ne to mommy" she said gently prying the toy from her and swifty walking to the kitchen, throwing the toy into a cupboard
"no no no no no" Hatsukoi cried crawling after her
Shae picked her up as tears filled in her eyes, feeling how heartbroken and angry Hatsukoi is to have Ne Ne taken from her.
"Baby, I'm sorry. Mommy should have thought before giving you that stupid thing" she said wiping both hers and Hatsukoi's tears with a tissue from the coffee table.
When she sits down with Hatsukoi she wiggles out of her arms. Shae places her on the floor and Hatsukoi crawled and sits down between the living room and kitchen crying and searching for Ne Ne.
...
"I'll be right there" Neji said to Yamato and Sai as they were passing through a small town
He splits off from then and walked into a small children's store.
The store was fillied with toy's, books and accessories lining the walls with small islands of children's clothing in the middle.
He walked to the back when he spots a small sign for the age range for Hatsukoi.
"Is there something you're not telling us?" asked Yamato from behind Neji
He looked over his shoulder to Yamato holding a small coloring book.
"Shae's keeping Hatsukoi" he said then picking up a small frabic book
"Oh" Yamato said picking up another book
"Hm" Sai hummed peering over Neji's shoulder at the book he was holding, Neji glared at him for being too close. Sai smiles and steps back away from him
"Are you looking for something in particular?" asked the sales woman, gaining Neji's attention
"No" he said then glanced at the shelves on the wall
"Is it for a girl or boy?" she asked
"Girl"
"Oh a daughter, how old is she?" she asked
"She'll be two in a few months" he said
He cared for Hatsukoi deeply, he was aware of that and he was prepared to take care of her and be her father but what he wasn't prepared for was to answer those kinds of questions so easily. To hear the word 'daughter' and automatically thinking of Hatsukoi. Then having a lingering feeling of guilt for leaving Shae and hatsukoi in Suna.
"There are new toy items over here" the woman said motioning to another wall
"No, she has plently of toys" he said shaking his head and a small selection of blajkets catching his attention
"Oh, well we do have these new blankets. They are our best seller" she said when she sees Neji staring at them
"They are incredibly soft, durable, simple wash and drying, no chemicals" she said picking up a soft pink and handing it to Neji
He feels the fabric and notices others with embroidered letters. He sets down the blanket and picked up a white one with Sakura bloosm petals floating across it with the letter 'H' in the corner
"I'll take this" he said as the woman smiled and nodded leading him to the cash register
"Do you have shopping?" he asked pulling out his wallet from his pocket
"Yes we do" she smiled and reaching under the counter then handing him a label just as Yamato and Sai place a bag and childrens books next to his choice of purchase
"What are you doing?" he said pushing their items away from his
"It's going to the same place and Hatsukoi's birthday is in a few months and we wanted to make sure she gor her present. We never know if we'll be around with how demanding our jobs are" Yamatos said pushing them back
"Fine" he said writing down Tentens address while they paid for the items as did Neji
"It will be shipped out today" she smiled closing the box
"Thank you"
"Your wife is a lucky woman"
"Thank you" he said without thinking then blushes turning and leaving the shop, a little embarrassed to admit he had a wife in front of Yamato and Sai when he didn't.
"He doesn't want his receipt?" she asked
"I'll take it to him" Yamato said smiling and left with Sai
...
"Is there something bothering you?" Gaara asked when she kept trailing off during conversation
"It's just.. I made Hattie cry by taking away a toy" she sighed
"Was it harmful to her?" he asked watching her hands tighten around her cup
"Yeah... It would hurt her with it's sharp edges" she whispered
Unknown to him she was thinking of the bunny Neji had given to Hatsukoi and she was trying to distance her from him.
"Hm, you're protecting her from harm. She doesn't understand now but in a few days she will forget about the toy" he said
"I know" she sighed again then sipping her drink
"May I ask you something?" he said when silence filled the air
"Sure"
"How were you able to forgive Neji?" he said keeping his eyes lowered
"I didn't" she said causing him to look up at her confused
"I didn't forgive him for what he did. But I'm able to talk to him again because ever since I went back to the leaf, he's been brutialy honest with me, and telling me everything he's kept from me.. Even if it makes him uncomfortable" she said looking up at him
Gaara nodded, fully understanding why she was continuing to speak with Neji while he had to ask her to meet him as a Kazekage and not as a lover or even a friend.
"I should get back to Hattie" she smiled placing the cup down and standing up
"Of course" he said standing up, having nothing else to speak with her about he silently watched her leave.
"Hey how was your meeting?" Yukata asked when Shae walked in
"Good, is that" she said stopping in front of Hattie as she held on to Ne Ne
"Oh, yeah. I was going to ask why was her stuffed animal in the cupboard"
"I was trying to hide it from her" she said picking up Hattie
"Oh, sorry" Yukata said blushing
"It's fine.. it's just a toy right?... You can leave for a few hours if you want, I'm going to have a nap with her" she said walking to the bedroom
"That's fine, I'll stay here" Yukata said still blushing
She curled up with Hattie on the bed and covered her.
"You really love Ne Ne, don't you baby?" she said as Hattie cooed to the bunny
"Ne Ne" she said showing the bunny to Shae and hugging it tight
"It's only a toy... right?" she mumbled watching hattie coo and hug the stuffed animal.
...
She wakes up before her alarm and packed her bag and then making Hattie oatmeal with a little pureed fruit miced in to sweeten it.
She quietly enters hatties room, packing her bag and then hearing 'mum' from behind her.
"Good morning my sweet heart" she said smiling wide and picking her up
Changing and dressing Hattie she takes her back into the kitchen, strapping her in and pouring her milk.
She gives her the milk just as her phone rang. She answers it.
"Hello?"
"Good morning" she hears Gaara's voice
"Morning" she said with a laugh watching Hattie try to give Ne Ne a sip of milk
"How is she?" he asked hearing Hattie's giggles
"Uh-shit" she said dropping the phone and running to Hattie just before she opened her cup
A second later Gaara came through the door looking around for any sign of danger.
"Hi" Hattie said when she sees him
"Hi" he said then hanging up the phone Shae dropped
She sits down to feed Hattie her breakfast and turned to Gaara.
"Are you okay?" she asked
"Yes, you dropped the phone"
"Oh yeah, Hattie was about to spill milk everywhere" she said
Hattie tilts her head trying to make Shae look at her and when she doesn't she hits the bowl of oatmeal out of her hand
"Hatsukoi, that's not nice" she said then pausing when she doesn't hear the bowl hitting the floor
Hattie claps and giggles as the bowl is set on the table and the sand floats back to Gaara.
"You need to be more careful Hatsukoi" he said crouching in front of her and giving her the bunny she dropped when she clapped her hands in delight.
"Ne Ne" she said as if she didn't see her bunny in the longest time and hugged it
"Say thank you" she said to Hattie
"Tank you" she said softly
"Thanks for that" she smiled to him as he nodded
"Hatsukoi. You are welcomed to the sand village anytime, as is your mother" he said softly to Hatsukoi who was showing him her bunny
...
"Aus-ma" Hattie said softly
"Hm?" he looked down to her in his arms
"Hi" she said then resting her head on his shoulder
"Aww, she likes you" Shae said holding her hands over her heart
"I like her too, she doesn't cry much" he smiled
"Unless Shae leaves for a few minutes or sees her walk away" Kakashi said a few feet behind them
"It doesn't help when the creepy anbu are with us" she said glancing behind her just as they split off in another direction
"I'll see you" Kakashi said splitting off too and disappeared
They walk to her apartment in silence, once inside Asuma walked to her bedroom and carefully placed Hattie on her bed with a pillow on either side of her preventing from rolling off.
"Alright, I'm going home now" Asuma said slipping his shoes back on
"Okay"
""Before I go" he said turning to her and setting down their bags
'and here it comes' she thought embracing herself for his lecture
"Now you don't have an excuse to leave but to stay. If you need help, you know where to find us" he said with a nod and turning to leave
"See you, kid"
Instead of patting her head and messing up her hair as usual, he gently placed his hand on her head and then left.
She left out a sigh of relief he didn't lecture her like she thought he would. She had a half smile from his hesitation to calling her a kid as he left. Maybe Asuma wasn't thinking of her as a kid anymore now that he seen her caring for Hatsukoi as a mother.
She checked on Hatsukoi and sees her sprawled out on the bed in deep sleep.
She closes the door half way and phones Tenten.
"Hello?"
"Hey"
"You're back!-What is wrong with you!" Tenten snaps
"Sorry- I'm sorry- my bad. I'll explain when you get here. Do you have Hatsukoi's crib still?" she asked
"Yeah, I dug it out when I heard you were bringing her home, I'll be right there" Tenten said then hanging up
Shae makes them tea and waits for her in the living room
"I have it" Tenten said walking into her livingroom
"Great"
"Where is she?"
"Sleeping, it was a long day for her, a lot of adventure" she said giving Tenten her tea as she agjusted her seating position towards her
"So she's why you left" Tenten starts
"Yes, she was in danger and I couldn't ignore that"
"How did you get there?"
"Neji... He cut his arm open just to take me to her" she said looking down at her cup
"He really loves you. I don't think he would do that for anyone else" Tenten said softly then furrowing her brows when she shakes her head
"What?"
"Tenten, I can't be with him-"
"Why not?"
"I have hattie"
"And you know he's going to be here for her and you" Tenten said defending Neji
"No, he's not. He's a shinobi, it's what he is, and he's going to be gone all of the time and when he leaves it's going to break her heart." She said tearing up
"I can't have someone in her life that keeps leaving, it was fine when it was just me but it isn't anymore. I have to think of her first"
"Shae stop it" Tenten said nearly slamming down her cup and holding onto Shae's arms
"Tenten-"
"Just srop it. You keep pulling away from him because you're scared and all he's been doing is giving you your space, earning your trust back, he helped you escape when everyone's orders were to keep you from leaving and he disobeyed it and then he cut his own arm open for you-for you! Did you even ask him to stay?" she said nearly shaking her, as if she was trying to wake her up
"No, I can't" she said nearly crying
"You can't or you won't because you know he would do it" she sighed hanging her head slightly
"You won't know until you ask, you need too and stop fighting him, it's exhausting" she said leaning against the couch and picking up her tea
"Shae.. it's going to be okay, just give him a chance" she said facing her
She leaned against the couch, hearing out loud of all the things he's been doing and has done for her put it into a different perspective. Still asking someone not to be what they're not was completely selfish.
