Chapter 43

After another bout of fever followed by chills, Bill helped Sookie from the tub. She leaned on him shakily in the steamy room as he dried her and wrapped her in a warm robe. Sookie wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. It seemed to take longer for her mind to clear after each episode, and they were occurring more often. She couldn't think. The only reason she hadn't given up completely was Bill.

Carrying her downstairs and into the living room, Bill settled Sookie on the sofa and wrapped the quilt around her. He went into the kitchen and returned with a mug of hot chocolate.

"Here, Sweetheart. Drink this."

She looked up at him wearily. "Oh geeze, Bill. I'm about chocolated out."

Putting the cup on the table, Bill sat down and wrapped his arm around her. "We need to get something into you, Sookie. You're not eating much at all."

"I just don't want anything."

She leaned against him, resting for a few moments. Bill could feel her beginning to tremble, the warning sign that another spate of chills was on its way.

"Sookie, the chills are coming back." She didn't answer, and he could feel her fatigue. "At least take some blood, Sweetheart. It will help." She nodded, and Bill withdrew his arm from her shoulder so he could roll up his sleeve. Biting into his wrist, he lifted it to her mouth. Sookie drank from the wound momentarily, then stopped and pulled away. Bill put his mouth on the wound until it closed, then attended to Sookie. She sat with her eyes closed, and he put his arm around her again and held her. She was no longer trembling, but even so, she was too exhausted even to lick the blood from her lips. He kissed her softly, then gently licked her mouth clean. By the time he had finished, Sookie was asleep again. Bill stretched his long legs out on the coffee table, and Sookie slept with her head pillowed on his thighs. He ran his fingers through her hair and sat quietly, unable to stop worrying about his human.

...

Fatigue had its effects on Sookie's sleep, as well. She had stopped dreaming completely now, so it took a moment for her mind to register the sound of a ringing phone and a voice. She heard footsteps and felt a hand softly stroke her cheek, and only then did she realize that she was no longer sleeping.

"Sookie, wake up..."

Bill helped her to sit, and she curled her legs beneath her and pulled the quilt higher. He sat next to her, and she leaned into him as he put his arm around her.

"Who called, Bill?"

"It was Dr. Ludwig. They have some answers for us. She and Joe will be by tomorrow night to explain what they found."

She shivered .

"Are you cold again?"

"No. I'm scared. I don't think it's going to be very good news."

"We don't know that, Sweetheart. But even if it is, we'll deal with it." Bill could feel her uneasiness. "Do you want me to call Tara?"

"Would you, Bill? And Sam too. I'd feel better if they were here with us tomorrow."

...

The night was especially dark, in spite of the waxing moon. A summer storm was sluggishly pushing its way through the area, the clouds blocking the moonlight and hiding the stars. The air was sticky with humidity and oppressive. Even the crickets and cicadas seemed too miserable to sing.

Sam drove through the muggy night in silence until Tara spoke.

"So tell me again, why am I coming with you tonight?"

"Bill asked us come by. The healer is coming and Sookie want us there when she gets the news, whatever it is."

"She sounds nervous."

"According to Bill, she is."

"Me being there is going to make her hurt."

"Probably."

"I haven't seen here for nearly a week, since she went to the hospital. How's she doing, Sam, really?"

Sam could hear the worry in Tara's voice. He glanced at her, then turned his attention back to the road. "Not good. I should warn you, Tara. She looks bad. Y'all are going to have to control yourself."

"What good will that do? She'll hear what I'm thinking, anyway."

"No, she won't. She's not getting much of anything right now except noise."

"Oh." Tara was silent for a moment. "You think Bill's taking care of her OK?"

"Yeah...yeah, I do." Sam shook his head, displaying his disbelief. "I never would have imagined it. She's so shaky, Tara, she can hardly stand. Bill feeds her, bathes her, even helps her to the bathroom."

"Really?"

"Really."

"What about daytime?"

"Sook says he's got a bed or a mattress or something rigged up in his hiding place, where ever that is. She spends most of the time sleeping anyway, so she stays with him during the day."

"It must be making her crazy. She really hates not being able to do for herself."

"Well, if she was feeling better, it might. But right now, I don't think she cares much."

Sam pulled into the drive and gestured to Tara. "Tara, grab that bag in the back seat for me, will you?"

"Sure thing, Sam." Tara took the bag from the back while Sam went to the rear of the vehicle and hauled out a case of TruBlood. As they climbed the stairs to the porch, the door opened. "Sam...Tara. I heard you drive up."

"Are the Ludwigs here yet?" asked Sam.

"They're on their way."

Sam walked into the kitchen and put the case on the counter. "I brought a few things I thought Sookie might need, Bill..." He nodded toward Tara. "...and some blood."

"Thanks, Sam." Bill took the bag from Tara and set it aside. He then opened a couple of bottles of synthetic blood and put them in the microwave.

"Where is she?" asked Tara.

"She's in the living room. She's been napping on and off."

"Is it OK if I go in?"

"Of course. She'll be glad to see you, Tara."

Sam watched as Tara left the kitchen. The microwave pinged, and Bill removed the now-warm blood. He chugged one, started on the second, and Sam's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "How long you been out of blood, Bill?"

"A day or so."

"Y'all should've called. I told you to call me if you needed anything."

"I didn't even think of it. I've been preoccupied."

"Well, don't forget next time. Sookie needs you."

Bill nodded and picked up the bag from the counter. "Get a couple of beers for you and Tara, will you, Sam? I'm going to put these away."

...

When Tara walked into the living room, Sookie was sleeping on one of the sofas and covered with a quilt. She sat on the table and looked at her friend, and worried. Over the last week since Bill had taken her out of the hospital, Sookie hadn't been eating. The vampire had done his best to encourage her, but she'd simply had no interest in food. As a consequence, Sookie had lost weight and looked gaunt as well as ill. Her complexion was gray, and the bones of her face were prominent. Tara reached over and took Sookie's hand, and she was surprised at how hot and dry her fingers were. She called her name softly.

"Sookie?"

Sookie's eye's opened slowly, and it took a moment for her to focus. "Hey Tara..."

Tara opened her mouth to speak, but Sookie had drifted off again. She got up off the table and met Sam as he came out of the kitchen and handed her a beer. They both turned as a knock sounded at the front door.

Bill came down the stairs and opened the door to the younger Dr. Ludwig, showing him into the living room. He woke Sookie and helped her sit up, then sat down beside her. Joseph Ludwig sat opposite them on the other sofa and motioned Sam and Tara to sit.

Joe looked at Sookie and said, "I'm sorry, Margaret won't be coming. She has other things she needs to do tonight."

"Did you find anything?" Bill asked.

"Well, yes and no. We finally know what's going on, and what to do about it, but why it's happening is another matter."

With a hoarse whisper, Sookie asked, "So can you fix whatever is wrong with me?"

Joey looked directly at Sookie. "Yes. Maggie's making arrangements to treat you tomorrow. That's why she's not here. You need to fast until then. You can have water, but don't overdo it."

Sookie nodded, leaning against Bill, who had a question of his own. "What, exactly, does this treatment entail?"

Looking down, Joe seemed uncomfortable. He was silent for just a moment, then said, "We have to break Ms. Stackhouse's blood bonds."

Tara exclaimed, "Oh hell no!"

Bill was angry. "Dr. Ludwig said it was dangerous."

"It is, but we don't have a choice, Mr. Compton. It's either that, or she's as good as dead." He turned to Sookie and said, "There's a lot of technical jargon, Ms. Stackhouse, but to put it as simply as possible, you're undergoing a massive rejection of tissue."

"Tissue? What tissue?" asked Sam.

"Vampire blood. Her body is rejecting it." He leaned forward, elbows on knees, looking directly at Sookie. "Look, you've heard of organ transplants. Most times, in spite of the best tissue match that can be made, the patient's body will reject the organ without immunosuppressive drugs. That's similar to what is happening with you. The difference is that the vampire blood you've ingested is spread throughout your body. By now it's everywhere. Your immune system is in overdrive because of it, and your body is attacking itself. It's shutting down, and in this case immunosuppression isn't an option. If we don't break the bond, you won't survive."

Bill was solemn. "My blood did this to her?"

"No. As a matter of fact, this immune response in Ms. Stackhouse has made a mess of her blood chemistry. Maggie and I think that's the reason her blood changed you, Mr. Compton. No, it was vampire blood, but not yours."

The realization suddenly blossomed; his face became a mask of rage and his fists clenched. "Eric."

Sookie reached for his hand. "Bill..." He turned to her and, after a moment of hesitation, calmed himself and withdrew his fangs.

Joey spoke again. "Yes, it was the Viking's blood that did this, but it could have been any vampire..." He shook his head and gestured to Bill. "Except yours."

Sam had been silent, considering what he had heard, but was still confused. "So, when he tricked her into taking his blood in Dallas, that's what made her sick?"

He looked up at Sam and answered. "Yes. It wasn't the bombing that caused her symptoms; that was just coincidental." He looked at Bill with a wan smile. "Maggie's pissed as hell at you, Mr. Compton. This would have been a whole lot easier to figure out if you weren't involved. She's been swearing pretty much nonstop the last couple of days." Turning to Sookie, he continued. "Ms. Stackhouse, we ran tests on your blood, Mr. Compton's blood, the Viking's blood, and samples Margaret had on hand from other vampires. Then we got hold of other healers for samples from them. No matter where the blood was from, your blood reacted to it violently – except for Mr. Compton's. Why that is, we have no idea. You should have had the same reaction to Mr. Compton's blood that you did to other vampire blood, but you didn't – and you still don't. That's why it took so long to verify. We kept rerunning the tests, thinking we had missed something or made an error. It's also what I meant when I said we know what's happening, but not why."

"But Sookie could die from breaking the blood bond, right?" Tara's face showed the anxiety she felt.

"That's right," said Joey.

Sookie spoke, in a voice so quiet that it was difficult to hear. "What if Bill just turns me?"

Bill and her friends all spoke at once, protesting Sookie's suggestion, but Joey interrupted. "No. It won't work."

"Why?"

"We used your blood, but we also tested the blood from your uniform. It was dried, old...essentially dead, but we got the same reactions as we did from the fresh sample. Turning you won't solve the problem, and there's a good chance it would just make it worse. Otherwise, I would have suggested it as an option."

"So, this really is the only chance she has?" asked Tara.

"I'm afraid so." Dr. Ludwig got up and began searching his pockets. "Let me give you the address, and we'll see you first thing in the morning."

"No."

He turned. "I'm sorry. Did you say 'no'?"

"It will have to wait until tomorrow night. I want Bill there."

"Well, sooner would be better, but I understand. Joe pulled a card from his pocket and handed it to Sookie, and she took it from him with shaking fingers. "Ms. Stackhouse, I know Maggie's pretty rough around the edges, and she has a lousy bedside manner, but she is damned good at what she does, and I'd trust her with my life."

"What are my chances?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. Except for Mr. Compton's, you don't react to vampire blood like anybody else, so there's no telling how that might complicate matters. Then there's the fact that you're not in very good physical condition right now, and the odds aren't good in the best of circumstances. But if anybody can get you through it, it's Margaret." Joe focused his attention on Sookie. He was impressed with her desire to know the truth of what she was up against. "If Maggie says there's no other option, she means it. If you undergo the breaking of the blood bond, you may survive. But if you don't, well, you'll only have a few more weeks. I wish I had better news for you..."

The silence in the room was uncomfortable.

"I'll see you both tomorrow night." Joe let himself out, and they heard his car as it went down the drive.

...

The four of them sat mute in Bill's living room, mulling over the news, until Tara broke the silence.

"Goddamnmotherfuckin'sonofabitch SHIT!" She burst into tears and buried her face in her hands. Sam put his arm around her.

"Tara, calm down..."

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down, Sam! This just sucks..."

Sam pulled her from the couch and drug her out to the front porch. Once there, Tara yanked her arm from his grip. "You get your friggin' hands off me Sam Merlotte!"

"Damnit, Tara. SHUT UP. Sookie's got enough on her plate right now without you losing it in front of her."

"Sam, this could be the last time we even see her alive..."

"You don't think I know that? You don't think Bill knows that? You think Sookie doesn't know? She asked about being turned, for God's sake."

"But what are we gonna' do, Sam?"

"There ain't a damned thing we can do except make things as easy for her as we can. That means we have to hold ourselves together in front of her. If y'all are gonna' lose it, do it after we leave."

...

"Hey Bill?"

Looking up from where Sookie slept on his lap, Bill saw Sam standing in the foyer, holding open the front door. "Yes, Sam?"

"Tara and I are gonna take off so Sook can get some rest before tomorrow. Give her our love and tell her we'll see her afterward, OK?"

"I'll do that."

The front door closed softly, leaving Bill to think. Carefully, so not to wake Sookie, Bill reached in his pockets for his cell phone and wallet. He pulled a scrap of paper from his wallet and made a call, leaving a voicemail. Dropping his phone and his wallet on the floor next to the sofa, he settled himself, then pulled the quilt around Sookie's shoulders to keep her from getting chilled.

He was trying not to think too much about what the next night would bring. He didn't know why Sookie wanted to put off a treatment that could take away her pain, even as dangerous as it was. She'd simply said that she wanted him there. He was grateful, although he had to admit it was selfish to be so. It would be easier for him to be there than to wait in his resting place throughout the day, wondering what was happening. Still, if Sookie woke before dawn, he would ask her to reconsider and have the treatment in the morning and not put it off. He was sure that Sam would take her to the clinic, and she would be in good hands with him. For now, though, there was nothing he could do but stay with Sookie until she woke. With one hand resting on her shoulder, and leaning his head on his other hand, Bill took the opportunity to sleep. He had a feeling that he would need to be well rested, whatever happened tomorrow.

...

When Sookie woke, she felt a little better. Bill was stretched out on the sofa, his head pillowed on the arm rest, and she lay on top of him with her head resting on his chest and his arms wrapped around her. It was almost worth feeling so bad to feel so loved and protected. She reached a hand out from under the quilt to stroke his cheek.

"Did you rest well, Ms. Stackhouse?" He spoke softly into her hair.

"Yeah, I did. I guess now that I know something it's a bit easier. I don't feel like there's some unknown doom hanging over my head."

"Now it's a known doom."

"I don't know why that's better, but somehow it is."

"The unknown is always worse. It's the uncertainty, I think."

"Mm hmm."

"Sookie, why don't you have it done in the morning? It will be over sooner. You won't hurt so much."

"I want you there, Bill"

"Sweetheart, there's nothing I can do for you that Sam can't do. You could be done and feeling better that much sooner."

"No. Help me sit up, will you, Bill?"

Keeping his arms around her, Bill sat up, the weight of her body on his was almost inconsequential compared to his strength. He made sure she was comfortable and well wrapped, then turned sideways to look her in the eye. "You have some mischief planned, Ms. Stackhouse."

"Yeah, I do, but it's not what you think."

Bill remained silent, his question expressed solely by the lifting of an eyebrow.

"I know all'yall were pretty upset when I asked Dr. Ludwig about you turning me..."

"I can't speak for the others, Sweetheart, but I know full well that you have no desire to be a vampire. To say I was surprised would be an understatement."

"Still, I know that there's a part of you that wants it, Bill. And that's OK. It's just that vampire part of you, and I told you, I love that part, too."

"I thought I'd managed to hide it better than that."

"You did, really. But I pay attention. Tara calls it 'that Jekyll-and-Hyde thing he's got going on.' "

"And what do you call it?"

"Me? I kind of think of it as your own personal Civil War... between the human and the vampire parts of you."

"I never would have called it that, but having been in the War, it's a remarkably apt analogy." Bill put his hand under her chin and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "What's all this about, Sookie?"

"Well, I really want you there, Bill. I know it's kind of selfish..." Bill smiled, remembering his earlier internal soliloquy. "...but I just feel safer with you around."

"All right."

"But there's something else I want."

"What's that, Sweetheart?" Sookie hesitated, looking away, and Bill could see and feel that whatever it was, it was troubling her greatly. Taking her hands in his, he said, "Just say it, Sookie."

"I... oh geeze, Bill, I don't know a good way to say this." She looked up at him. "I... I want you to drain me."

"What? Sookie, why would you ask me to do that?"

"Please, don't be mad."

"I'm not angry with you, Sweetheart. I don't know what I am feeling, exactly, but I'm not angry."

"I really want this, Bill. I'm scared. Dr. Ludwig said one of the hard parts of breaking a blood bond is knowing when enough blood has been drained to actually break the bond. Would you drain me? You'll be able to feel it the minute it's broken."

"I don't have to drain you to feel that." He could feel how much this meant to her. Smiling, he kissed her gently. "I would be honored, Ms. Stackhouse."

Relieved, Sookie said, "Good. 'Cause you always said my blood tastes good, and you might as well enjoy yourself because otherwise they're just gonna wash it all down the sink..."

Laughing, Bill wrapped his arms around her

...

Sookie was nestled in Bill's arms in the big tub. He had insisted on a long, hot, leisurely soak, convincing Sookie it was just the thing, accompanied by a good night's sleep, to prepare her for Dr. Ludwig's ministrations the next evening. Sookie had to admit, the dead man knew what he was talking about.

"A penny for your thoughts, Sweetheart."

"I was just thinking about that war you have going on inside you. I don't know if I can explain it very well, but this treatment will give you a chance to have your fantasy Bill."

"My fantasy?"

"Yeah. You get to satisfy that vampire part of you. You get to drain me without turning me. We'll never get another chance like this." Sookie blushed, causing Bill to smile. "And... well, I've kind of wondered what it would feel like, myself. I just wish I wasn't so sick so we could take advantage of it. The thought of you draining me is kind of hot."

"Why Ms. Stackhouse. You have quite the erotic imagination." He shook his head. Once again, Sookie had found something good in a dismal situation. Her optimism was beginning to be contagious. He suddenly felt a glimmer of hope regarding the dangerous procedure his human would undergo in the next 24 hours.