Review Comments:

h-g-j-l-e-r-k - Yeah, it's kind of sad that we won't see Pete this season because of his arrest and all. I would have liked to have had him back, I'd really like to see all the main cast members come back like Whitney Fordman, Jason Teague (flashbacks perhaps?), and Davis Bloome.

What if I promise a chapter that would do that, like a 'Girls Night Out' chapter? haha.

A,sky - Haha, that was my favorite line too!

LoisNClark4Ever - She probably has, haha, but that would have spoiled my fun, now wouldn't it? haha. I'm sure I'll have a chapter where Lois has to face him knowing that she spilled her guts to him without realizing who he was, haha. Clark and Pete were friends in the comics, but he didn't know Clark was Superman until much later in life, I think he learned it after he was vice-president or during. In the comics, Pete was married to Lana and they had a son together, Clark Ross. Talk about a different story compared to the way things went on Smallville, haha.

I honestly can't remember why Lex chose Pete though, it's been forever since I read a Superman comic, haha.

AmberWaves - Haha, Mother's Day is right up there with my favorites so far, so I'm glad you liked it.

clarkfan325 - Originally I was thinking about having it be Diana Prince, but Washington, DC is a long ways to drive, haha.

Tonyahuqt03 - I've always been more of a Marvel fan myself with the exception of Batman, always one of my favorites from childhood. It really helped that Batman had an animated cartoon, which I imagine led to my Marvel preference with the Spiderman and X-Men shows. Superman came and went for me, he was always too powerful for my taste, but I more or less kept up with the overall series of events going on in Clark Kent's world.

NonOmnisMoriar - Haha, I'm glad I surprised you. I was worried about showing my hand, I edited a lot of lines to try and make it less obvious, haha.

Ina100years - Calling Lois Lane a chicken would have ended with most people's funeral, haha, but Pete lucked out because he had a witnesss-packed cafe at the moment, haha. I'm glad you liked it!

JamesTKent - Thanks!

alexindigo - The whole 'big surprise' thing is a bit overdone at times, so I wanted something more logical for Lois' thought process. She already knew that she was falling in love with Clark during 'Bride', by the time that 'Crossfire' rolled around, she ought to have known that she was in fact in love with him. I wanted it to be more about her fear of losing Clark if things went south ("You're the one I want to get it right with." - Disciple), and less about trying to figure out what her actual feelings were. So I'm really happy that you enjoyed it all the same.

I imagine that there will be nakedness, but you might have to continue from where we leave off to get there, haha.

jade2nightwing - I always find myself wanting to add Dick Grayson, he's easily one of my all-time favorites, but I have to keep reminding myself that he's a little too young to be appearing pre-Jo'an, haha. I'm glad that you liked it!

superrouge17 - That's actually the plan! haha.

sunset - Well, I'm with Lois Lane when it comes to destiny: I only believe in the kind you make happen. Haha. With that in mind, I don't mind hearing about Lois and Clark's destiny because I believe that they'll do anything to make sure it happens.

Haha, I think I might get lynched by the Lana-lovers on FanFiction if I did that, haha. But I've written the bulk of the chapter, I bet you won't see it coming when you read the title, haha, but it should be up soon enough. And yes, Clark does take notice to Lois, haha. That does sound like a good idea, how about everyone suggests their favorite Martha nicknames for Jo'an, haha, that should be pretty funny! haha.

Author: CaptainTightPants12

Rating: K

Pairing: Clois

Disclaimer: If I owned Smallville or it's characters, I'd be saving this for the spring and you would be watching it on TV.

Summary: A series of 'Kill me or Kiss Me?' moments.

Chapter: #x, the Bathroom

Author's Note: This one takes place, and I'm going to take a rough stab here, about roughly 8 months before 'Emil'. Hahahaha.


"It's your fault."

Clark let out a laugh, "What? How is this my fault?"

"All the...nakedness!"

He looked at his wife and laughed again, "What are you talking about?"

"Well...the first time we met..."

"Yeah?"

"Naked!"

He closed his eyes and shook his head, still laughing. 'She has lost her mind...'

"And then your little...little...wet...steamy...naked...shower!"

"What?"

"When your mom caught us?" She looked at him with eyes narrowed, as he remembered the day she pounced, "Exactly!"

Clark bit his tongue and just as equally narrowed his eyes, "You barged in...on my shower."

Lois listened on the other side of the door, a wicked grin forming on her face. 'This is going to be sooooooo good,' she thought.

Just act casual. Just act casual. "Nothing like a little 'North by Northwest' action to get the blood pumping."

A gasp, a flitter with the shower curtain, and the awkward start to his statement told her it was working.

"Ummm...we usually take turns in the bathroom."

He couldn't see her face, but the expression was nothing short of devilish. 'But what if I wanted to join you, Farmboy?'

"Oh, don't start with me, Smallville. You're the one taking the marathon shower. Besides, my delicate feminine sensibilities weren't offended the first time I got a glimpse of uh...Clark Jr." She couldn't help but smirk at the comment, she noticed him squirm in the mirror's reflection.

"My parents kind of missed the whole Woodstock phase. Besides, they freaked out the last time they caught me in a co-ed situation."

Her ears perked up at that, 'Might I be doing less corrupting than originally intended? Do tell...'

"Last time? So, the Eagle Scout does have a few secrets in the closet?"

She waited for him to emerge from the shower. Unfortunately, he had found a towel. "Just forget about it alright? That's my shirt!"

Making sure she got between him and the door, she quipped, "It's the only thing that I could find that was clean."

'So not true, but I'd be willing to take it off for you if you bat those pretty baby blues at me...' she thought, happy her cheeks were already red from the heat so that he couldn't tell all that bare chest was doing something...interesting...to her.

"And lets not forget the time you snuck up on me at the Talon!"

That was the door. Why was the door shutting? Like...right after she could have sworn somebody was peeking at her? Turning the water off, she tried to mentally prepare herself for whatever ass-kicking was about to go down.

"Hello?"

She saw the shadows flicker under the door frame. Yep. There was going to be ass-kicking.

Slowly getting out of the tub, trying to avoid alerting whoever was outside of the bathroom door to her presence, she crept towards the door. She grabbed the first, large, skull-cracking weapon she came across. Raising it over her head, she could have sworn their was a small voice in the back of her head asking why she didn't take a second to grab one of the two or three towels she had passed on her way to the door.

Because what if it was...she opened the door.

'Clark!' she screamed internally.

Yes. What if it was Clark? And it was. Standing on the other side of the door, finally evening up their score of nakedness, because she stood before him in all of her glory. Soaking wet. Raising some sort of brush...thingy over her head to attack him.

She did the only thing she could do. She jumped back and slammed the door shut. Grabbing a towel, wrapping it around herself, she wrenched the door open and threatened him again with her brush...thingy. "What are you doing here?"

"Lois, I've been calling. Knocking on the door. How long have you been in there?"

She made a face, "About an hour and a half."

'Wait, why aren't I suspecting him of checking me out in the bathroom?' she thought.

Her inner voice chimed in, 'Because he isn't that kind of guy and if he was, you wouldn't have minded.'

'Shut your face, inner...me.'

She spun around to face Clark to prove her inner-voice wrong, "Hey! You weren't just in my bathroom, were you?"

'See.'

'Doesn't prove anything.'

'Dammit.'

He gave her a look, "Lois, I just walked in the apartment."

"Well that's weird, because I could have sworn somebody was in there watching me."

Clark rolled his eyes, "I told you, it was Graham Garrett! He was an assassin who could be invisible!"

Lois huffed, "Uh huh, everyone knows Clark Kent can't resist a peek at the goods."

He let out a laugh, "You jumped out at me!"

"As if, Smallville. You just like to remember it that way so you can keep your noble sensibilities intact." She knew she was stretching now.

Clark just hung his head and laughed. She was completely flying off the deep end here.

"So?"

He looked up, "So what?"

"Are we in an agreement?" He gave her a confused look. "That it's all your fault?"

Another eye roll, another laugh, another sigh. "Lois, it takes two to tango."

"Well, I blame you."

"Lois, why does there have to be someone at blame here? It's not like it's a bad thing."

She snorted, "You're not the one that has to carry the monster for nine months! And would you quit looking so happy?"

"I am happy!"

"Well, so am I!"

Clark couldn't help it, he broke down laughing again. She was being insane! "Then why are you so mad!"

"Because I want to be!"

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"But it's the way that it is. Don't mess with the system, Smallville. I should be freaking out, I should be terrified!"

"But?"

"But I'm not! I feel great! I feel excited! And I'm blaming you for it!"

"Then what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know! Quit making me feel all warm and fuzzy and girly. I wanna be mad. I want to freak out! I want to want to kill you!"

Clark closed his eyes and smiled, 'I'm never going to understand this woman.'

"Alright, fine. Kill me. Come on." Clark held out his arms, inviting Lois to attack him. She narrowed her eyes and glared at him.

She ran at him, tackling him to the ground, but she didn't kill him. She kissed him. A lot. When she pulled back, she looked him square in the eye. He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and smiled up at her. Their looks contained so much love. "Smallville...we're having a baby."

"We're having a baby," he whispered.

They kissed again.


Author's Note: Awww, haha, what did you guys think? I'm sure some of you figured it would be more steamy, haha, but I got a request to cover 'Gone' and 'Fade' with a Bathroom chapter, so this is what came of it, haha. If it makes you feel any better, there was plenty of sex that led up to their current situation and there will probably be some floor sex after their conversation, haha.

Next Up: I'm thinking 'Wonder Woman', but it could be 'Clark Luthor', 'Christmas Day', 'J'onn J'onzz' or 'St Patricks Day'. They are all close to done.