And with this comes the end of the Chunin Exams/Konoha Crush arc. Which means that after this chapter starts the Search For Tsunade. And I hope you all know who that means is going to appear...
Okay, so basically, my goal this chapter is to make someone cry. I don't care who (apart from me, of course), I just want to have the satisfaction of making someone cry. And it's a perfect day for it too, it's still raining.
So please, for the sake of my pride, listen to something sad while reading this. I wanna see tears (not like...heart-wrenching tears, just heartfelt tears...).
Ciara's P.O.V.
As I float in the darkness, I feel kind of cold. It's a heavy, hazy feeling, like being smothered under an ocean of soaked blankets.
Where...am I? Why is it so dark...?
Then, a warmth grasps my hand, and there's a soft nuzzling against my cheek, also warm. "Ciara...please wake up..." The warmth around my hand tightens, as though trying to drag me out of the cold.
Chick, you have been asleep for long enough. A melodic voice echoes in my head. It is time for you to wake.
"Ciara...come on..." The other voice feels so sad, and the grip on my hand tightens further. "You've gotta wake up..." My heart hurts for the owner of the voice, of such a sad and lonely voice.
Naruto...? I try to move, but it feels like I'm swimming in honey. Cold honey. And it's hard to breathe. Naruto... Help me... I feel like I'm suffocating, drowning in the darkness of my own subconscious.
Then, as though answering my plea, the grip on my hand tightens further, and the cold feeling is driven away slightly. The feeling of swimming in cold honey lessens, as though the honey is melting. I take a deep breath, and for a moment it feels like the darkness spins. Then, it gives way to a soft light.
Naruto's P.O.V.
As I squeeze her hand, her teammates watch the both of us from their seats on the table at the end of the bed, faces contorted with pain and worry. On the windowsill is the teme, and Sakura is sitting over in a chair next to Kakashi-Sensei. Ciara's sensei is leaning against the wall next to the door, lips pursed and arms crossed.
It's been a rough three days, everyone has been trying to heal from the battles. And...the funeral is scheduled for tomorrow. Everyone knows, everyone except Ciara. She collapsed before anyone could tell her what happened, and she's been asleep for the past three days.
Somehow, our sensei got the bright idea to visit her at the same time, and so, all five of us are here while she sleeps. Though I'm the only one holding onto her hand. I just...feel like I can just wake her up, as long as I'm holding her hand. At least...I sure hope that I can wake her up. I rub my cheek against hers gently, something I used to do to annoy her, since she said that the whisker marks tickle a little.
"Ciara...please wake up..." I squeeze her hand a little tighter. "Ciara...come on... You've gotta wake up..."
Sasuke's eyes drift over, and he frowns slightly. "Wait a second..." His eyes focus on Ciara, and the Sharingan swirls into them. Then, his eyes widen. "Her chakra is back."
"Hm?" Kakashi looks up from his book and slides up his headband to uncover his single Sharingan eye. "Well now...isn't that something?"
With three Sharingan on her, I'm starting to wonder what's up. "What's...going on?"
Kakashi covers his eye back up, and Sasuke's eyes darken again. "Her chakra spiked, and not that weird red and orange stuff either."
Akito's eyes flash dangerously. "Well, whatever you do, don't ask her about it."
"Why?" Sasuke's eyes flick to Akito's challengingly. "After what she did, and what I saw, how can you expect me not to ask?"
Akito growls lowly. "I expect it for her sake. She doesn't like to talk about it. So you'd better wait until she brings it up, or accept that you're not going to know what's up."
Sasuke grits his teeth, but doesn't say a word. Sakura, on the other hand, looks up helplessly. "Is...she going to be okay?"
"Yeah, she'll be fine." My grip on her hand tightens a bit more, and then, she breathes in deeply. Once the air has rushed back out of her mouth, she breathes in again and starts to move, her hand squeezing mine back. "Ciara!"
Eyelids flutter open to reveal the dark, dull green of her eyes. "Naruto...?" She winces slightly, her pupils contracting in the light. "What's...where I am?"
Ciara's P.O.V.
"The hospital." Bright blue eyes gaze back at me, right above a bright grin. "You've been out for three whole days."
I blink slowly, trying to let my eyes get used to the light as I sit up in the bed. "Three days?" And despite myself, I feel a smile growing. "That sounds familiar..."
Once my eyes finish adjusting to the light, I let them flick around the room and take in the sight of seven people. Sakura looks like she's going to cry, Akito and Hiro look faintly relieved, Kakashi is somber, Sasuke looks like he's being anti-social, Yuki-Sensei is being surprisingly impassive, and Naruto...he looks like he's battling happiness and pain at the same time.
There's something wrong here. I take a deep breath and turn to Kakashi. "Not that I'm not happy to see you all...but the atmosphere in here seems a little dark, considering that I've woken up." Naruto's hand twitches in mine. "What happened."
There is silence in the room as every expression darkens. A foreboding feeling grips me as Kakashi lifts his head to speak. "During the battle, Lord Hokage passed away."
I feel as though a rock has replaced my stomach. "He...what?"
"It was during his battle with Orochimaru." Kakashi's gaze remains steady, unnaturally steady. "He gave his life to drive Orochimaru back out of the village."
"No..." My hands start to tremble slightly, and it's all I can do to keep my balance, even while sitting. It's happened again. It seems like no matter what I do, I'm doomed to lose everyone. Fate isn't stopping with my immediate family. It's branching out, to those that stretch even beyond the bonds of blood.
Fate despises me.
Naruto's arms wrap around me, and he presses my face to his chest. The cloth starts to dampen around my eyes, and it's only then that I feel the sting of tears. There is no sobbing, no heaving breath, just a quiet, lonely emptiness, coupled with silent weeping.
The old man might not have been the greatest guardian, sticking me in a small apartment out of the way. But he hid me for my own good, to protect me from whoever nearly killed me the first time. Sure, I wish that he'd paid more attention to me. But it's thanks to him that I made a friend, a real friend. The one whose arms are wrapped around me as my grief runs from my eyes.
I want to scream, to thrash, to do something to express the grief and loneliness in my heart. But I can't, I just can't muster the strength to do much more than cry.
"The funeral is going to be held in the morning." I hear Kakashi get to his feet and shuffle around a bit. "Come, Sakura, Sasuke. Let Naruto take her home."
Out of the corner of my eyes, I can see Sakura nod and stand up as well. "Yes Sensei..." Accompanying that is the sound of Sasuke sliding off the windowsill.
Further sounds indicate that Akito and Hiro leave my side, along with Yuki-Sensei. And honestly, I'm grateful for it. I hate crying, especially in front of others. But...as long as it's just Naruto, then I think it can be forgiven.
There's a knock on my door, long after I've woken up. "Ciara...it's time to go..." It's Naruto.
I sit on my bed, leaning against the wall. And my eyes drift to the crimson clothes laid out on my bed. I've only worn similar garments once before, when my grandmother died. Of course, I was only two years old, so I don't remember her all that well. But I do remember what the red clothing means.
It means to send off someone you love with a fire in your heart. To send them off with honor, love, and passion, not endless mourning and grief. It may not be traditional by most people's standards, but I would do discredit to my ancestors if I were to do anything less.
The sky outside starts to fill with gray clouds, and soon, the sky will no doubt be weeping. It's fitting, I suppose, that even the sky would weep on a day like this. A day on which we say goodbye to some of our village's most talented shinobi. To mothers, fathers, grandparents, family. Today, the sky will weep, for those that cannot.
The red cloth slips over me, revealing the gold embroidery, and the dark blue sleeves that flow out from underneath the sleeveless red piece. It was a birthday gift, a rather morbid one, from the old man, not long before my finals days at the academy. While it reminds me of the formal robes worn once in a while by my father, the red is much darker, the gold sparser, and the blue much more prominent and replacing that which should be white. For what was once such a proud and passionate clan, this is what they considered somber. What we considered somber.
The red, standing for love, honor, and passion. The blue, for grief, for remembrance, and for a steady heart. The gold represents the light in the darkness, the will to keep moving forward, and the promise to carry what we've learned from those who are gone in our hearts. It is not the black of mourning. It is the colors full of promises.
And I suppose that it is fitting that the first time I wear them is for the one who gifted them to me in the first place. I wonder if he knew what I would finally use them for. But I know that he would approve. After all, he wouldn't have given me these clothes if he did not know what they were for. The sleeves even match the blue of our standard shinobi sandals. Once my clothes are straightened out, and the red wraparound tunic is fastened with a blue sash to match the skirt that emerges from the sides split at the hip to fall nearly to my knees, I move towards the door, my feet feeling like lead, rather than like leaves in the wind.
I suppose that it might be considered strange, to be a ninja, but hate death. I know that it is a natural part of life, and I can accept that. But for someone to be cut down before their time is something that I just can't stomach. If it weren't for unfortunate circumstances beyond my control, and my talent that blossomed years after, I likely wouldn't have had to see any death at all. I would have been taught many shinobi arts in the safety of my home, and then be allowed to decide whether or not I wanted to be a ninja in the first place. If only one night hadn't changed everything, I would never have had to see death.
It's why I took up medical ninjutsu, after all. It is why my instincts drive me to fight, to protect those that I hold dear. I will fight to protect those that I have left. But...I must pray that it never drives me to kill.
I look once more around my apartment, and my eyes fall on the magnolia flowers that I grow on my windowsill. I remember the gardens that I used to play in as a child, filled with beautiful flowers. And growing proudly among them was a slew of ancient flowers. Magnolias. As old as the dragons of ancient myth, my father used to say. Those beings so old that humans have no laid eyes on one in thousands of years, long before the dawn of shinobi.
So, I reach for the flowering plant, and pick one of the flowers from it, twirling it between my fingers gently as I snap off the stem. Then, I slip the flower into my sleeve, and head for the door. I know that it is customary to offer a white lotus at a funeral, but that seems too common to me. And I want my offering to mean something. It is my family's flower. And family, true family, in all of its imperfect glory, is what a Shiryugu honors most.
Opening the door quietly, I slip outside without a sound. And my eyes turn upwards towards the darkening sky. "I guess...it's time." I brush my fingers through my hair, done up in two braids that travel back from my temples, the rest of it falling loose in waves. But no doubt, by the end of today, I will look like a drenched sewer rat.
The funeral is a silent, somber affair from the looks of it. Everyone gathered into neat rows as the rain starts to pour. Everyone in black, no smiles anywhere to be seen.I can hear Konohamaru sniffling, even at the distance I've kept. Very few words are spoken. No long eulogies, no grand speeches.
One by one, the many ninja in attendance approach the pictures laid out in neat rows. Those that fell in defense of the village, whose names will no doubt be added to one of the village's many memorial stones. They lay white lotus flowers there for Gramps, and for all the others who died in the battle.
As the pile of flowers grows, there are few left who still have flowers to give. I'm sure that the Yamanaka flower shop did good business in preparing for this event. Someone should, after all. And I don't know of any others who could prepare such a huge amount of flowers on such short notice.
Finally, as the last flower is placed, I slip off of one of the five small half arches the ring the Hokage Tower. I land as light as a feather as eyes fall on me. Ignoring all of the stares, including the indignant ones from the two elders, I approach Gramps' portrait and look down at it sadly. You...may not have been everything I could have asked for, and you may not have done everything perfectly. But...you kept me and Naruto alive. Without you, we could have ended up on the street. And knowing who Naruto is, and what he has inside of him, that would have been nothing short of a death sentence. Still, it's been rough, and there's a lot that we could have done better. But I will miss you. I will always miss you...
I remove my hands from my sleeves and reveal the magnolia blossom that I carry. Instead of placing it in the row with all of the other flowers, I place it right in front of his picture, letting the raindrops bounce off of the waxy petals. My eyes begin to sting again, and though I know that a ninja is not supposed to weep, I don't care. When another piece of my shrinking world comes crashing down, I say that the rules can go to hell. I bring my hands together, slipping them back into my sleeves. And I bow to the portrait, one last show of respect. And it's only now that the rain decides to let up.
As tears, the last few drops of rain, and stray strands of hair stick stubbornly to my face, I turn away from the portraits and walk down through the aisle between the two sides of the crowd. There's no question that everyone can see my tears, but I refuse to be ashamed. I am sad, another piece of my heart has been broken away, and I refuse to pretend like it hasn't, just to cater to someone else's expectations. But I do carry myself with dignity. No matter how hard that is to retain with a long since broken heart.
Once down the stairs and out of sight, I walk slowly through the village, my clothes drenched and sticking to my skin. I look up to where Gramps' face is carved into the Hokage Mountain, a crack spread across the nose and cheeks. How ominous... And ironic that it's only now that I notice it, rather than before I knew he had died.
Then, I look up into the sky, a fresh wave of tears threatening to pepper the ground. Did...the sky weep this way that night, washing away my family's blood with its sorrow? Did the world mourn for my family? Or were they forgotten, like so many others are simply forgotten...?
As though to answer my question, the clouds begin to part, and the sun starts peeking through the gray. No...they have not been forgotten. I'm still here, still alive. And while I'm alive, that legacy will not disappear. I won't let it disappear.
I will never let the people I love disappear. I will fight, no matter what it takes.
