A/N: And... I'm back. /impromptu hiatus. Turns out my eye issue is something much more serious. When faced with news that is literally life altering, it becomes difficult to find the energy or motivation to write. But the show must go on! If I have anything, it's this story, and all you wonderful people who read it every time I post something new. Thank you for giving me the will to do so. Chapters might be sporadic over the next little bit, but I promise that if the time comes where I need to stop writing, I will give you all a heads up.
Thank you for your reviews, follows, and favourites. It really does make my day to see that someone else is enjoying Cora Shepard as much as I am. Please feel free to send me a message or review a chapter if you have any questions, feedback, or requests!
"Are we done here, Doc? Because I've got about a million things to take care of. My girlfriend being one of them."
"Almost there, Shepard. I'm just waiting for the final diagnostic on your puncture wound and then you are free. There doesn't appear to be any abnormalities, but I'd still like to take a sample and send it off to Huerta Memorial for a more complete analysis. We don't know what that abomination might've exposed you to."
Shepard lay in the med-bay, her right side exposed to Chakwas. As predicted, the doctor had been less than impressed when Shepard had finally managed to make her way to the med-bay. Concerned hands had helped Shepard out of her armour, a litany of rebukes falling from Major Chakwas' lips. Shepard glanced down at her side, noting the wound was already less of an angry red colour, and it was significantly less painful. Shepard sighed and looked up at the ceiling, running the debrief through her head again. She had yet to report in with Hackett, and it was priority number one once she was finally free of her current confines. She started making a mental check-list; an all too familiar pattern that ensured she knew what was going on with her crew and officers, and also to ensure that they knew what the situation was. Joker would come after Hackett, followed by Garrus and Kaidan, then maybe Javik…
"Alright, you're free to go Commander. The wound is going to be quite tender over the next day or so, so do try to keep your activities light. Perhaps no sparring with Lieutenant Vega this evening?"
"You're no fun." Shepard replies with a pout.
"Yes, well, you're no fun when you're in pain. Which you will be if you don't listen to me." Chakwas replies, cocking an eyebrow at Shepard.
"Fine. No sparring with James tonight." Shepard says with mock petulance as she sits up and puts her shirt back on. "I wonder if Wrex is free? We can take a detour to Tuchanka."
"I think even the great Urdnot Wrex wouldn't dare contradict my orders Commander, and you know it." Chakwas provides with a smile for her friend. Shepard returns the smile, and stands up from the bed.
"Don't worry Doc, I'll be good." Shepard says with a wink before exiting the med-bay. Once in the mess hall, she glances towards Liara's door. Chakwas had mentioned that Cortez had brought Liara up here once she was back onboard, and that her shock seemed to have died down. Chakwas had given Liara some sleep aids, electrolytes, and strict orders to go to her quarters and sleep. Shepard still hasn't seen Liara, but duty wins out. She knows that if she goes in there first, she won't be coming out for hours. With a frown, Shepard heads towards the elevator.
o.o.o
Staring out at the vast expanse of space, watching the red, yellow, and blue lights of distant stars float past, provided Kaidan with a quiet comfort. He found he could spend hours watching the stars move past, often forgetting about his expense reports, or duty rosters. He was thankful for the distraction this evening. With his Spectre reports complete, and his duty rosters filed, he found himself with little else to do except for think about the haunting sound of the banshee's scream as it burrowed into his head. Lesuss had been horrifying. By the time he and Garrus had landed, Liara was long gone, and Shepard was pacing impatiently as James looked on. It wasn't until he encountered two of the Reaper creatures, following slowly behind a wave of husks, did he understand fully why Liara was not here any longer. Her people had been turned into something disgusting; tall, grotesque beasts that screamed horrifically. He was thankful that Liara didn't have to witness watching Rila get killed by one of them. James had nick-named them Banshee's, and Kaidan had thought it was fitting. Hours later, and he could still hear the keening wail of impending death.
He shivers just as the door opens, and he turns slightly to watch Shepard walk in. He notices that she's already out of uniform, no doubt at Chakwas' behest. Her gray track pants worn low on her hips, and her almost iconic N7 hoodie practically embodied comfort. He momentarily wonders if she gave her debrief to Hackett wearing that, but he knows his commander well. She could be mouthy, hard-headed, and stubborn with military officials that outranked her, but she was blue blooded through and through. He was fairly certain that protocol and military tradition were the only things keeping Shepard going, and knew that she took debriefs seriously.
"Hey Kaidan."
"Hey Shepard. Feeling better?"
"Yeah, Chakwas fixed me up. I'm gonna be sore for a bit, but that's nothing new." She replies as she stands beside Kaidan. A few moments pass, both marines watching the endless stars move past the viewing window. Kaidan hazards a glance at Shepard, and notices that she looks exhausted. Her already small frame looked even smaller, months of non-stop fighting, both politically and militarily, taking their toll. He wonders if she even gets four hours of sleep a night, or at least one decent meal during the day.
"Heard from your mom?" Shepard asks quietly, her green eyes catching Kaidan's. For a brief moment, he can see the actual woman, and not the figurehead that Commander Shepard has become. There's a genuine concern written on her face, and a keen hope that he's been able to make contact. His heart feels heavy at the mention of his mom, and he knows she's on Earth, completely alone.
"No, nothing in the last few days. Last time I talked to her, she had made it to a refugee camp that the Alliance had set up. I guess the plan is to find as many survivors as possible, and bring them over to the Citadel. It'll be the first time my mom will have gotten off-world, and it's because of this damn war." Kaidan responds sadly. "She's all alone in this. My dad is MIA, I'm here on the Normandy... And my mom is with hundreds of refugees, being herded like cattle to a space station that has no room for them."
"There's no where else they can go?"
"I think the Alliance is trying to find somewhere, but the Reapers have pretty much destroyed everything. I keep hearing rumours of this Sanctuary place. Maybe I'll see if I can work out a way to get her a room there."
"A safe haven is becoming a rare resource, but I'm sure you'll work something out."
Kaidan watches as Shepard turns her attention back to space, undoubtedly thinking of her own mom. The difference though was that Hannah Shepard was safe and sound, her ship providing escort to Hackett's own fleet. The Fifth fleet was practically untouchable, hidden so far out that not even the Reapers would find them any time soon. It seemed to most people in the Alliance that it was the safest place to be in the entire galaxy.
"Anyways, I just wanted to know if there's anything you needed from me. I'm signing off for eight hours, and we're heading to the Citadel. The asari councillor wants to talk to me about something." Shepard interjected into Kaidan's thoughts. Her command voice was back, and the woman had disappeared.
"I'm good Shepard. Nothing to report on my end, though I'm glad we're stopping at the Citadel. If we're there for a bit, my guys could use a couple hours off the ship."
"Yeah, I can give them four hours. I wish it was more, but that's all we can afford right now."
"That's understandable. I'll send the message right now. Thanks Shepard."
o.o.o
For the first time since coming aboard, Liara's room was dark and silent. The monitors were turned off; the constant humming of terminals was non-existent. Even Glyph was powered down, his usual greeting not provided when Shepard entered the room. She was so used to the lights, it actually made her a little uncomfortable to be in the almost total blackness. The only light came from a small night-light tucked beside one of the curtains that sectioned off Liara's bed from her office space. Shepard could make out the small form of Liara buried under her covers, and chided herself for not coming sooner. The debrief with Hackett took longer than she anticipated. She had bypassed Javik altogether, instead deciding on speaking to Allers for a bit. After an impromptu interview, Shepard had actually wished she had chosen Javik. Almost four hours have passed since leaving Lesuss, and Shepard felt a pang of guilt in not being able to speak to Liara while she was still awake.
She makes her way to Liara's bed, her instincts helping guide her away from any item that would stub her toes. With a mental high-five to herself at remaining uninjured, she gently crawls into bed beside Liara. Her side protests marginally, but she's able to ignore the sensation as she wraps her arm around Liara's waist. She feels Liara stir, and she subconsciously moves backwards, her back pressed tight against Shepard's chest.
"Why did you wait so long to find me?" comes the quiet whisper from Liara. Shepard can hear the despair in her voice, and knows she shouldn't have waited so long.
"Sorry Li. The debrief took way longer than I thought. Then I had to check in with Garrus and Kaidan. Joker needed to talk to me about some maintenance stuff…" Shepard says, trailing off as she places a kiss on the back of Liara's neck.
Silence falls again, and Liara presses backwards further. Shepard clenches her jaw, the jolt of arousal completely unexpected. Now is REALLY not the time.
"I thought that perhaps you were avoiding me. You were fairly quick to send me away."
"You think I wanted you to go?" Shepard asks incredulously, feeling her body grow still. The last emotion she anticipated coming from Liara was anger, but she could hear it simmering below the surface.
"Your actions clearly stated your intentions. I doubt I'll be able to hold a conversation with Cortez now, after trying to order him to turn the shuttle around once I finally snapped out of it. He must think I have gone completely mad.
"You were in shock. What the hell else was I going to do? Let you sit there by yourself? Protocol for people in shock…"
"It's always about protocol with you, Cora." Liara says as she moves away, sitting up to face Shepard in one swift movement. The anger was surfacing so quickly that Shepard was finding herself unable to react fast enough. Moments ago, Liara was comfortably pressing her backside into a decidedly sensitive area, and now suddenly Shepard found herself in the middle of a storm. "I wish that for once you would see that protocol doesn't always make things easier. You've been on this ship for four hours, after having sent me away because I was witnessing the destruction of my species, and I'm the last one you come to see?" Liara finishes in an angry whisper. Shepard's defense quickly arrives on her tongue, and before she can think, the words are tumbling out.
"This is a military vessel, and I am a military officer. How the fuck do you expect me to run this ship? You know that I have reports to file and debriefs to hold. What am I supposed to do, tell Hackett to fucking wait while I spend the rest of the night consoling you?"
The moment the words were uttered, Shepard knew they should not have been. Even though she knew she hadn't meant to sound callous, she had achieved exactly that. She could feel the shift in the air, feel the anger and hurt permeating the space between them. She could feel the distance grow, and knew she needed to close the gap.
"Shit, Li, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"
"Don't. If I mean that little to you, that you would rather hold fast and true to your procedures than lower yourself to consoling me, don't even bother apologizing. What I saw today I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I needed you, and you cast me away." Liara says, and she moves to stand up. Shepard watches in confusion as Liara swiftly finds her discarded clothes, and she realizes that Liara's intent is to leave.
"Where are you going."
"Anywhere but here."
"Would you just stop for a second? What the fuck. How are you this angry at me?"
Shepard sees the dim outline of Liara as she stands in front of the window, her body making a silhouette of the stars. She moves slowly, sitting up slightly and reaching for Liara's hand. Surprisingly, Liara doesn't brush her away, and she allows the contact as Shepard twines her fingers with Liara's.
"That could have been me." Liara says quietly.
"What did you say?"
"Those monsters that the Reapers created. They were Ardat-Yakshi. It's a genetic condition only found in pure-blood asari. If they had gotten me… they could have turned me." Liara replies as Shepard gently pulls her back down to the bed. Shepard feels herself go cold, followed by incredibly angry. She hasn't had a chance yet to do anything in terms of research as to what the creatures are. Clearly though, Liara has.
"They wouldn't have turned you. If you think I would have let you get close enough to one of those things, you are mistaken." Shepard says, guiding Liara down beside her.
They are both quiet for a moment, and Shepard slowly runs her hand down Liara's back, resting her cheek on her crest. The thought of Liara turning into one of those banshee's has Shepard's blood run cold, a determined anger presenting itself in the form of fierce protectiveness.
"I'm angry at myself, not at you. I shouldn't have crumbled like that. I should have fought with you and James. Instead I fell and became nothing but a burden. I understand your protocol. I know this is a military vessel and that you have your orders. It was just… terrifying. It seems as though every encounter with the Reapers produces another vicious psychological attack."
"I know. If I wasn't used to them, husks would terrify the shit out of me. Sometimes I forget that not everyone is as jaded as I am. I just assume the Reapers will take everything that's good and pure in this galaxy, and turn it into a monstrosity. You, my love, are much more optimistic. I have no doubt that seeing your own kind turned into that mess was chilling." Shepard replies, watching a bright blue star move past the window. She feels the sudden softness of Liara's lips on her neck as chills ripple down her spine. Liara's lips are at her ear seconds later.
"Please make me forget."
Shepard isn't given a chance to respond before Liara's lips are on her own, the soft, slow kiss gradually erasing all other thoughts from Shepard's mind. She can sense the need Liara has to move on, to forget, to process the terrible things she had seen today. As she brings her hand up to the back of Liara's neck, she can feel her own need of the same things. The desire to be lost in someone else's love, to be enveloped by something that isn't distressing, or threatening to kill her. Shepard moves, gently pinning Liara underneath her body, savouring the deep kiss that Liara had started. Liara's hands gently graze up Shepard's sides in an effort to remove her shirt, and Shepard registers the brief pain, but disregards it as she feels the soft hands of her lover touch her back.
Shepard feels Liara's legs move to hold onto her hips, and she breaks the kiss slowly, trailing her hand down Liara's side, down to her leg.
"Don't send me away again, please." Liara pleads quietly as she pulls Shepard's forehead to her own.
"I promise. I love you."
"I love you too. Embrace eternity."
