Dimitri spread another blanket over my legs, making sure I was warm sitting on his couch.

The apartment would've been nice and toasty with the heater if the storm hadn't knocked the power out.

I was pretty warm with the layers of blankets Dimitri piled on top of and around me and I was wearing one of his thick thermal sweatshirts. The steaming hot shower I'd taken helped a lot too. Not to mention my clothes were warm after coming out of the washer and dryer before the power went out. I felt cozy.

"If you add any more blankets I'm going to start sweating."

He smiled kind of sheepishly but still added the extra blanket. "It gets pretty cold in here when the heater isn't on. You're sneezing, sniffling, shivering, your teeth are chattering, and you sprained your ankle again because of me. I don't want to be the reason you turn into an icicle," he explained.

"My ankle is just a little swollen. It feels better with the compress and bandage around it," I tried to assure him. "And it was fun eating ice cream at the park." I could tell he started to relax a little but when I sneezed his faced was etched with worry again.

"Maybe I should get you another one of my sweatshirts," he muttered to himself as if I hadn't even spoken. Having another one of his sweaters wouldn't be the worst thing in the world considering how good his sweater smelled: the familiar crisp scent of his aftershave, laundry soap, and something that was just...Dimitri.

"Dimitri I'm fine. Really." I was hoping he'd relax a little instead of fretting over me but when it became obvious he wasn't going to sit still because he felt so guilty about my ankle and that I'm showing all signs getting sick. I sighed and leaned back against the couch. "Ok, if you're going to fret and worry over me than can you at least fix something to eat."

His face relaxed into another smile. "That is something I can do."

He went to the kitchen with one of his flashlights in hand searching through the shelves and fridge. "These are times I wish I didn't have an electric stove," he muttered while pulling varies items out and setting them on the counter.

While he was in the kitchen I looked out the apartment. I didn't really get the chance to since the first priority was to get out of our wet dirty clothes and washing the mud, grime, and dirt off. The candles that were lit in various places gave the room a nice warm glow. Suddenly I felt like I was in some cheesy romance novel.

"Somehow, I expected this."

Dimitri glanced over at me from where he was opening something, looking at me both confused and amused.

"Expected what?"

I looked around the apartment that wasn't small but actually seemed perfect for someone Dimitri's size.

"The neat bookshelf, matching dark furniture, pictures of the family, the entire place spotless, and a window with a nice city view. Yeah, I expected this. Neat and tidy. It's just like the way you keep your studio."

I could see him smile sheepishly again. He tucked his hair, still damp from his shower, behind his ears only to have it fall into his face again. "I just like a little order in my life. Christian is always saying it's ironic."

"How is it ironic?"

"Part of my job is teaching people to take control of their lives but I also have to remind them that life is full of the unexpected and sometimes we can't control everything," he explained.

The room was filled with that cozy warm comfortable feeling that I loved while sitting through a storm. I have always wanted to move out of the small town I'd lived in my entire life into a big busy city. Being in an apartment like this only makes me want to move even more. It's not as far away from town as I'd prefer but it's nice and simple.

I could tell Dimitri had felt a little hesitant to suggest bringing us back here.

Was I a little disappointed that he was worried about keeping his distance out of fear I'd kiss him again or something?

Yeah.

But that disappointment was quickly replaced by appreciation when he sincerely asked if I'd be comfortable coming here. Though it wasn't his intention, it made me like him even more.

This entire day made my feelings for Dimitri grow that much stronger and, for the life of me, I can't explain how or why. Lissa has said that it's okay to have a crush on him and feelings like this and she was right. It's alright to have these feelings so long as I keep them buried deep down and don't do anything rash like the last time. I won't let out friendship change or get all weird again. Not mention he's with Tasha. Maybe they'll even fade eventually.

I won't do anything about my feelings but it's okay to have them. I can't let the nightmare of what happened to me be the basis of all of my decisions. That would mean Adrian, Jesse, and Ralph having control of my life forever and I can't let that happen.

Much like Lissa, Dimitri is right. I can't control every aspect of what happens in my life but I can control most of it. I have to fight to control most of it. Lissa's fighting in her own way to gain control of the life that's never really been hers and now she has two lives to worry over. Victoria is just beginning to move forward but at least she's doing something instead of sitting in denial.

And I wonder if Olena had to strive to grasp a hold of her life after her son had been shot and her husband killed himself and someone else close to the family. And if Karolina went through the same struggles after having two kids so young. And Christian and Tasha after moving from the place they'd lived in their entire lives to a completely new city. And Dimitri...I can't imagine someone as strong as him having trouble losing his grip on his life. But he's mentioned before how difficult it was after the shooting. It took him a while but he recovered, regained control, and now look at him. Completely settled as if nothing terrible has ever happened to him.

I hope we can all seem this well put together someday.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Dimitri asked.

Suddenly he was settling himself down on the couch beside me, placing food on the coffee table.

I looked up, startled. How long exactly had I zoned out?

"Just...thinking." I thought about just leaving it there but why not elaborate and tell him? We talk about everything else. "I hope I have this one day: a nice, simple stable life where my biggest problems are what I'm making for dinner and if my grocery coupons expired."

He smiled flicking on the last of the lamps near the window. "My life isn't exactly 'stable' or 'simple' right now but I get what you mean. You'll have it all one day. I'm sure of it," he assures me with more certainty in his voice that I can muster in my entire body. "A nice suburban house, a minivan, a businessman for a husband, and two point five kids with a golden retriever."

I laughed and chattered at the same time while I watched as he laid food out. "I don't think I'll ever want to live in the suburbs. Maybe...a beach house or something. No minivan," I corrected sternly. "A convertible. But a businessman husband sounds so boring. I think I'll be an old spinster with like eighty cats."

"No kids?" he asked amused by previous answers.

"Mmm...I can just adopt Lissa's kids as my own. I'll be one of those awesome godmothers with super fabulous gifts."

It feels good that Lissa and I are on friendship terms again. At least for now. Maybe one day we'll be as close as once were. Maybe not but I do know that we'll always be in each other's lives somehow. Thinking of Lissa I pull my cell phone out to see if she's texted back again since I told her Dimitri was taking me back to his place. She asked if she should be worried or concerned but I assured her it was fine. Surprisingly to me, she said she trusted that Dimitri would take more than good care of me. The cell reception was spotty so I didn't get a reply yet when I'd asked what she meant.

Lissa's been pretty down lately since the run in with her parents. I felt weird knowing she'd be alone with Christian because she'd been on edge as much as I use to be about being along with anyone but her texts all say that she's fine.

He says he's cooking me an edible meal, her last text reads.

Meaning? I ask feeling offended.

Meaning after I told him about some of the meals you've cooked for me he deemed ur skills in the kitchen questionable at best

Well he's studying to be chef. I can't compete with that! And you have picky taste buds these days, I add, happy that this seems to be one of her more cheerful moods.

XD Well my picky taste buds will be happy to taste more of this almost chef's edible foods

So you're okay?

Her reply isn't as quick. I feel like she's thinking about a careful answer before she sands any message to keep me from worrying. I'm not uncomfortable or anything. I'm not okay but that has nothing to do with Christian. If you trust him, I trust him

Last time we trusted someone it didn't end well, I can't help reply. Lissa and I had wanted, hoped, and prayed we could trust Adrian and his posse. We wanted to trust that they genuinely wanted us apart of their group without any strings attached, that they'd make our high school years unforgettable. We wanted to trust them for a multitude of reasons and were let down on every single one.

This time her response is immediate. Doesn't count. We never really trusted any of them

It's nice to know she doesn't blame me or anything. That was one of my biggest worries lately, that every time Lissa sees me she blames me for getting so close to Adrian, letting my guard down, and giving her the impression that he could be trusted. It was nice to know that she was really on my side this time. The two of us together.

It's also good to hear she's okay with Christian and letting new people into her life instead of closing herself off the way I'd wanted to.

Thanks Liss, I send without elaborating on what exactly I'm appreciative for but he reply tells me she knows. She understands me the way she use to.

Anytime

Stay warm, L

You too, R

Our lives weren't exactly perfect right now but at least small parts of it were falling into place. I had my Lissa back.

Dimitri looked up from the food he was finishing laying out in front of us. He glanced at the cell in my hand. "Are Lissa and Christian alright?"

"Yeah. He's cooking her dinner. Apparently the dinners I've been making her aren't good enough."

"What do you usually cook?"

"The basics: chicken, pastas, steak, meatloaf, salad."

"Well then I hope you won't mind our meal of crackers, cookies, meat and cheese slice, and a tub of ice cream," he listed, gesturing to the table of food in front of us. I smiled, leaning forward to reach for the pile of candy sitting in front of me.

"I won't be too picky."

He lifts one side of the blanket where my bandaged ankle is. "It doesn't look too bad. I think another secure bandage should do the trick."

I was grateful for that. The last I wanted was for my foot and ankle to be in a cast again. The shower had made the pain fade to dull throbbing.

"Why do I keep injuring this foot? Honestly, I've never been this clumsy before," I complain.

"Consider it one of life's tests," he suggests sounding like his usual Zen self. "You have a weakness but you don't let it keep you from prevailing."

"Hmm. That's actually pretty good. You should really make a book of all your inspirational quotes," I tease. "And haven't we had enough ice cream for one night?" I ask gesturing to the carton Dimitri is eating out of.

He holds it out to me and I take a spoonful. "It's not going to stop you from eating some though," he replies, smiling at one side.

Throughout the rest of our makeshift meal, we eat in a comfortable silence just listening to the rain outside. I use to listen to the rain when I couldn't sleep and was waiting for my mom to come home. Just as I'm about to start thinking about her, wondering where she is in this crazy storm, I try to focus my attention on something else.

When I finish eating, I use the brush I carry in my bag to brush the tangles out of my hair.

I realize how much I smell like Dimitri especially after using his shampoo. Come to think of it, his entire apartment smells like a mix of his soapy aftershave, lemon cleanser, and the lingering scent of paperbacks.

It's nice and really makes this place feel like a home. It's been a while since I've felt that way about my home. Lately though, having Lissa there has made it a little better. More bearable.

The long sleeves of Dimitri's sweatshirt make it difficult every time I try to run the brush through my hair.

"Having trouble?" he asks, amused.

"Yes, I'm having trouble with your abnormally long-sleeved sweatshirts."

"My sweatshirts are average. You're just really small," he returns, lightheartedly.

"I'm pretty small but you are definitely not average," I point out.

I'm only small in height in comparison to most people.

Everywhere else I'm a little more...thicker than most girls. Where Liss and Victoria are mostly long lithe limbs and model thin figures, I'm a little more plus sized in the chest and hips area. I'm only a few inches shorter than Liss's five foot nine but it makes a lot of a difference in how my body looks especially when we're standing together. Where she's neat and well portioned, I feel like I'm lopsided and oddly shaped.

"I'm waiting for that big growth spurt I'll get when I turn eighteen."

"Something tells me you're pretty much done growing. But on the bright side, your small size should make it easier for you to defend yourself if you ever need to."

"How so?"

Dimitri answer me while moving around his small kitchen. "You're able to move in quick, shorter movements than someone who was my height."

That sounded pretty cool. I just hope I wouldn't ever be in a situation where I have to defend myself again. I started thinking about how when the three of them first grabbed me, I hadn't done much to fight back. I struggled of course, kicked out, and tried to claw and scream but I didn't do much damage. I was too scared and I really didn't know what to do to get away.

If I was ever in a situation where I had to defend myself again, I just couldn't imagine being able to defend myself despite the training I received from Dimitri. I shook my head and focused on brushing and not my darker thoughts. The scent of Dimitri's shampoo in my hair wraps around me and fills my nose. The brush starts to slow in my hand when I notice a picture on one of the side tables near the couch.

A photo of a younger, teenage looking Dimitri and a blonde kid that is just as tall as Dimitri is. They each have an arm thrown over each other's shoulder smiling wider than I've ever seen Dimitri smile. I pick up another photo where the blonde guy and Dimitri look a little older, maybe a couple of years back from now. They're standing in full police uniform, side by side, grinning from ear to ear. This blonde guy is probably...

"That's Ivan." I startle. "That was the day we graduated from the police academy."

He's looking down at the picture with a small nostalgic smile.

"He was cute."

"Yeah, he was good-looking and he knew it. Believe me when I say his ego was only slightly bigger than his smile," he chuckled. "That's what my mother use to say about him."

"You both had the long-haired thing going on," I point out, looking at the photo Dimitri's hair was shorter than it was now but he and Ivan were supporting a similar style, long enough to be tucked behind their ears and fall into their eyes but too short to be pulled back into a ponytail.

Right now his hair was hanging loose and wet brushing his shoulders. He had pulled on a gray t-shirt and dark blue jeans. The way he was smiling down at the picture, I could see how much he missed his best friend. It was probably a million times worse than the feelings I had when Lissa and I hadn't been friends for the majority of the year.

"The academy wanted us to cut it but Ivan gave some ridiculous big speech about his hair and identity," he chuckled and shrugged, "they figured it wasn't that big a deal and let it go." He held the picture in his own hands for a second before replacing it on the side table.

"Sounds like he was one cool dude."

"I'm sure you two would've gotten along just fine," Dimitri smiled. "Everyone use to call us twins. The only difference between us was the color of our hair."

"That's what my mom use to say about me and Liss."

"Two peas in pod," Dimitri says, sighing and smiling.

"Do you ever think about cutting your hair short again?" I try for a lighter topic. Either I'm good at distracting Dimitri from the more painful topics or he chooses to go along with the subject change because he's quick to reply while I finishing brushing out my hair.

"I have but my hair grows out pretty quickly. Not to mention my mother said if I cut my hair, she'd kill me. She thinks it'll attract a potential wife or something." He gestures to where I'm brushing the tangles out of my damp hair. "What about you? Have you ever had short hair?

I can't help laughing when I see Dimiti's reaction when I tell him, "I use to have a pixie cut."

"I can't imagine it," he admits after a second of trying to picture me with hair that was only a couple of inches long where I couldn't even pull it into a ponytail if I wanted to. "Most of those family photos I saw of you, you had long hair."

"Yeah there aren't that many photos during my short-haired days. I chopped it all off when I was in fifth grade. My mom was working nonstop and I thought I'd get her attention by doing something drastic."

"Did it work?" he asked curious.

"She was stunned but she didn't really say anything because she was too tired. My grandmother was pretty upset though. I was more of a tomboy and I really didn't care. It felt good not to have to deal with it but I'll admit I was happy when it started to grow back," I told him, finishing combing out the last few knots.

"It looks nice long," he agreed. I blushed a little at the compliment but didn't say anything.

The storm outside is roaring sounding as if we're only inches from the ocean's waves even though we're in the middle of the city.

He hands me a cup of instant Cocoa as I sneeze a few more times, shivering from the cold that's moving through the apartment despite the layers of blankets on top of me.

"It's official: winter is here."

I sip from my mug and smile. "I love it. It's so warm and cozy."

I sneeze again.

"Well, it would be comfy if I could stop sneezing," I sniffle.

Dimitri pulls a blanket from one of the hall closets and wraps one around my shoulders and lays the other across my lap.

"How does the ankle feel?" he asks again checking on it.

"Better," I tell him honestly. "I don't think I hurt it that bad. It felt like pinching a nerve or something. I'll just have to be more careful if I ever agree to let you treat me to ice cream again," I tease.

"It's going to be a while before I live this down isn't it?" he asks as he collects the food we've eaten and goes to throw it away.

I nod. "Yup. I can't wait to tell Christian."

Dimitri groaned making me laugh.

"Then I definitely won't be living this down any time soon."

Now that we were sitting here in the dark caught in a rain storm that drove us to a Dimitri's cozy apartment , I kind of felt like laughing to a little more. This was definitely the setting out of a cheesy romance novel. I know nothing is going to happen but even though I don't really believe in fate, I'd have to admit that this feels like universe setting us up.

"You're smiling," Dimitri noted as he settled himself beside me again. He laid out another flashlight as he waited for me to tell him why I was still laughing to myself.

"Doesn't this just...feel weird to you?" I ask, still laughing. When he looked at me, still confused, I explained the 'cheesy romance novel setting' idea I had in my head. Much to my relief, Dimitri started laughing along with me. "I'm just glad it's not...awkward or anything," I explain once we stop laughing so much.

"Me too," he agreed. We listened for a while as the wind picked up outside.

"Can I ask you something without totally freaking you out?" I don't know where this boldness comes from or my sudden curious need to make things awkward, but it doesn't stop me from asking.

Dimitri looks just as curious and surprised as I feel. He lifts one shoulder in a slight shrug. "Of course. What is it?"

I take a deep breath to gather my thoughts. This might be the only time I'll feel so brave to ask a few of the questions that have floated around in the back of my mind for a while now.

"I literally just said how happy I am that things aren't awkward or anything between us but...I've been curious about something for a while now and I feel like if I don't ask now, I never will. And it's kind of...bothering me that I don't know." I'm pretty sure everything I've just said made no sense at all but the confused expression on Dimitri's face fades as he tries to sort out what I'm trying to tell him. "But it might totally freak you out," I add. "And it might get all weird and everything between us again so maybe I better not say anything-"

"How about this?" he suggests, turning to face me a little. "You can ask me anything you want not matter how much it might 'freak me out'," he says laughing as he uses my choice of words, "but after tonight, we won't bring it up again and nothing will change between us."

I worry that what he's proposing won't actually work and that he'll be freaked out any way and avoid me like last time. I hesitate. He sets his cocoa on the table and leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees so that he can try to read the expression on my face easier in the slight darkness.

The worry must be clear on my face, easily seen even with such little candle light. "Rose, I promise. I won't avoid you or runaway like last time. No matter what it is."

I relax a little. Whatever weird surge of bravery I had before returns. "It's completely inappropriate and something I know I shouldn't even ask but...if we'd met under different circumstance and if I was older..."

Luckily for me, Dimitri seemed to catch on to where this question as going. He leaned back against the couch again, both of us staring out the window to where the weather was rampant and wild.

I don't know what prompted me to ask. Curiosity? Was this something I need to hear to help me let go of the feelings I had for the man who was slowly bringing me back to life? Maybe. Unlike Dimitri, I can't easily make out his expression. In fact, I'm pretty sure he has his signature, expressionless mask on. the same mask he wears while he's teaching at the studio.

"If I wasn't so completely damaged," I add when he still doesn't say anything.

This time I get a reaction out of him. He quickly turns to face me.

"You're not damaged," he says firmly.

"It doesn't feel that way. I feel like at any second I might crack and shatter into millions of tiny pieces and I won't be able to put myself back together again." Before he can interrupt to offer me the usual assurances, I continue. "I don't feel that way all the time like I use to. Now that I have more people around me—good people—I don't feel that way as much. I know it'll take time to feel normal again...if I ever feel normal again-"

"You will." Again, his answer is firm, as if there isn't any doubt about it. "We were joking about it before but I was serious: one day, you'll have a normal, regular life. I'll make sure of it," he says in a way that sounds like a promise. "Soon, you'll realize you're not damaged or broken. You're just...a little wounded. You're standing on your own two feet again so I'd say you're doing a pretty good job of healing yourself."

In a rare show of confidence, I smile and say, "I am pretty awesome, aren't I," I laugh.

Even though I'm joking, there is a bit of truth to everything Dimitri's just said. I don't feel as weak as I was before. I'm not exactly Joan of Arc, ready to fight whatever battles the world decides to throw at me but more often I'm starting to feel...normal again. I get so lost in the realization that I'm feeling normal again that I forget my first question. Before I can muster up the courage to bring it up again, Dimitri speaks.

"If circumstances were different..." He lets the sentence hang in the air between us.

Neither of us is looking at each other. We're both staring out the window where the thunder is still rolling strong and lightning flashes, illuminating the room for a quick second before fading into darkness again. "I'd be lucky to have you."

I feel like I should say something back.

But maybe it's okay if I just accept what he's saying and say nothing.

If I say anything, it'd ruin the moment and this is one moment, one amazingly great moment, I want to hold on to for a while.

I decide to make the most of it.

Nothing has to be said because the arrangement is perfect. After tonight, we won't let this ruin the friendship we have.

Dimitri is sitting close enough that it's pretty easy for me to lean against his shoulder. I expect him to stiffen in surprise or maybe move away. The only move he makes is to tuck in the blankets around my legs. I curl against him and close my eyes. I expect us to only sit like this for a moment but I hope it lasts as long as it possibly can.

Forgetting about everything outside of this apartment, forgetting all the troubles waiting for us outside, I keep my eyes shut.

Dimitri's warmth wraps around me and I imagine the lightest brush at the top of my head before I fall asleep.


A/N: This is like the third or fourth time I've done this but I was wondering if you guys could help me find a story (I thought I had it in my favorites it but it isn't there). I remember Dimitri met Rose at a library I think, they started dating, Tasha gave Dimitri the son that they had together before taking off, and I think Dimitri is in jail telling this story to Adrian.

I'd really appreciate it if you guys could me out!

Also, sorry for the long time between updates. My summer break has been a little more crazier than I anticipated and in all honesty I was a little stuck on where I wanted this to go and I had to listen to a little One Republic for inspiration! Anyways, I'm hoping to wrap this story up soon. Hopefully this chapter made up for it! I don't want it to be as long as Twelve Months of the Year (which was only supposed to be 12 chapters as you guys know) and I don't want to drag this story on but it seems like that's what I'm doing. I'm glad you guys liked the last chapter and of course I have to thank you for the reviews and follows and favorites!