Okay so sorry for the long break, but as I said before I just needed a break.

But yeah I just needed to take at least a week break before writing again. So, here we go.

LONG CHAPTER!


54. Fourth Day Home

April 11.

1:09 AM.

Kitty couldn't sleep again. She got up from the bedroom and left...

Kitty crept downstairs as mutely as she could, using her flashlight app on her phone to find her way down. Once grounded she walked down to the kitchen and searched around until found a decent kitchen knife from the drawer and shut it. She examined the knife for a few minutes before heading over to the bridge and pulling out pre-sliced tomatoes, bread, cheese and mayo and bringing them over to the counter. She pulled out a plate from the cabinet, two slices of bread, threw some mayo on them, two slices of cheese and once slice tomato.

She sat at the counter chewing on her sandwich, finding it disgustingly incredible. She'd never had a cheese-tomato sandwich with mayo before, as just the sound of it was gross, but after seeing Mr. Schue have one earlier at lunch and knowing that she could use the bread without being hit or punched, she wanted to try it. It was delicious.

She made and ate three more after that.

She cleaned everything up; placing the tomato slices back in the bag, tying up the bread bag and putting those with the cheese back in the fridge. Kitty cleaned up the crumbs and tossed them and the paper plate away before grabbing the knife and bringing it over to the sink to wash. The water turned on cold and started washing the knife with the dish soap. She turned the water off and wiped it down it a cloth before putting it back.

She paused for a minute, then took the knife from the drawer again and looked at the teeth of the knife. Studying them. The edges sharp like razor blades...and her mind wandering deeply.

"Maybe if I just scrape along gently," She muttered. She rolled one of her sleeves up and gently rubbed the teeth of the knife along one of her scars. Pressing hard but gently to not open the scar. Just feeling the knifes sharp edges rubbing over her scar made her feel better a bit. "Don't go harder, keep going gently. Don't do hard, this is good. Just a few more rubs..." And so she did. The last little rub she did, she had actually pressed a bit too hard and made a small cut open with teeny bit of blood dripping out. "Shit," She muttered throwing the knife in the sink and grabbed the wet cloth from earlier and held it over her arm.

Kitty turned the kitchen light off and jogged back up to her room, muttering 'shit' to herself over and over again. She felt like she was losing a lot of blood (only in her mind though) and she didn't want to lose it. She shut her door once in her room and leaned against it, holding the cloth tighter.


She stayed awake the rest of the night holding the clothe in her hand and drying it off, by the morning it looked fine. But she had a long sleeve on anyways so it didn't bother anyone.

Kitty wandered downstairs where she saw that Emma was awake and dressed already. She looked a teeny bit frantic, looking around the kitchen for something. "Ms. Pillsbury? What are you looking for?"

"Oh, um, the bread tie for the bread bag. It's a twist one, I believe it's either green or yellow," Emma said. "Someone tied the bag close instead of using the twist and... well I like the twist better."

Damn her OCD. Kitty thought, then it hit her. She must of thrown it away by accident and tied the bread bag. That's how she always did it back at her childhood home. "Um, I got hungry and made a sandwich... I think I might of thrown it away by accident. I use to tie the bag at my old home all the time."

Emma, who stopped looking to listen, listened to Kitty. Though she really did like the tie twist (or maybe she thought she liked it better), she just smiled and nodded. "Oh, okay then. It's fine, don't worry."

"Sorry." Kitty said with little emotion. It wasn't that big of a deal.

"It's okay." Emma said. "So what do you want for breakfast?"

"Not that hungry, just thirsty." Kitty answered her then passed her for the fridge. Kitty saw the knife she used earlier, still in the sink, and grabbed it rapidly while Emma wasn't looking to dry it with a dry clothe and throw it back in the drawer before use.


It was Friday, which meant it was Will and Emma's last day to say home on a school day before having to return to make up their missed days. They were now trying to figure out what would happen with the girls while they worked. Kathy wasn't showing many signs of PTSD, but both of them knew that she might start acting up soon once she began to socialize with others again. Kathy's pediatrician had suggested too see a child therapist; this one small group, at least six kids, that began after daycare/preschool/regular school and lasted for at least two hours. Kitty had mentioned the not the week they returned to work, but the week after she'd go back to school. Now all they had to do was find someone to watch Kitty and Kathy during the day, then Kitty while Kathy was at her session.

While Kathy was upstairs playing and coloring with her toys, Kitty was in her room sitting on her window sill outside, pretty much sitting on the roof, looking outside at the blue skylight and white clouds. It was nice out. She had texted Marley during a time when she knew Marley was free to talk on her phone, and asked if she and Ryder and Jake wanted to come over later and they could all watch a movie. Marley had replied that all of them could make it around 7 that night.

Kitty had an itch. On her arm. She scratched her arm and realized it was from the cut earlier and when she looked down she saw she had scratched over it, hard, and the cut was bleeding again. Somewhere in her mind she knew it was wrong, but she just wanted to feel it again. To feel something other than numbness.

She swing her legs to get back inside, got up and left her room for the bathroom down the hallway. She shut the door and turned on the shower on before digging around for the scissors in the drawer. Once she found them she lifted her sleeves up, grabbed a towel and bit in tightly in her mouth before pressing the scissors against her wrist.

Ten minutes later she wiped the blood off, rinsed off her wrist/arms in the sink, wrapped them with bandage wraps she found deep inside of a closet door, turned the shower off and left the room. Nobody was upstairs as she could still hear Will and Emma downstairs and Kathy talking to her stuff animals about a tea party. Kitty walked down to her room and shut the door before signing on and chatting with some friends, ignoring the lingering, burning pain in her arms.


She missed lunch, so Will was a little determined for her to eat dinner. Maybe something other than the soup with crackers. Hopefully Kitty would eat the meal Emma and him made. As Emma finished setting things up Will walked up the stairs to let the girls know dinner was ready. He saw Kathy outside the bathroom waiting to use it, noticing she was swinging her body back and forth as if she had been waiting. He walked over and could hear the shower or sink running water. "Kathy, do you need to go to the bathroom?"

Kathy nodded.

Will knocked on the door, "Kitty? You almost done?"

"Yeah! Calm down!" She hissed back. "Almost done with the shower!"

"Dinner's almost ready," Will said, "Just come down when your done."

"Not hungry." She yelled back.

"Kitty, you missed lunch today. And Emma said you didn't have breakfast either, you have to come down and eat dinner."

"I don't HAVE to do anything, Mr. Schue! If I'm not hungry, I'm not hungry!"

"Kitty, please eat something." Will said, but had no response. "Are you saving your appetite for later when the others come?"

"Sure, that's what I'm doing!" Kitty said. They all agreed to eat dinner at their own homes before coming over, she'd get off the hook as long as Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury kept their mouths shut. "I'm fine."

Luckily for Will, Jake had texted Will what the plans were: Eating at own homes, then coming over. Both guys assuming Kitty might skip out on dinner since she ate nothing all day.

"Kitty just come eat a little please. Just a little." Will asked, now seeing Kathy was growing impatient with waiting. "And your sister needs the bathroom."

"Well Jesus Christ, tell her to use the god damn bathroom downstairs!" Kitty screeched. Why did her have to harass her now, when all she was trying to do was feel something with the scissors in her hand. "I'm using the bathroom in here! Kathy, use the damn bathroom downstairs!"

"Kitty, do not talk to your sister like that," Will stated with strictness in his voice. "Finish up and join us downstairs."

" 'Finish up and join us downstairs!' " She mocked his voice, "BITE ME!"

Great, the mocking and 'bite me' phase again...Will thought to himself as he picked up Kathy in his arms and held her. "Okay Kitty, just hurry up before the food gets cold."

But Kitty didn't join them. Once she was sure Mr. Schue was gone, and assuming Kathy was now downstairs, Kitty finished her scissor business then cleaned the scissors, cleaned her arms, wrapped them up in the already-used bandage wraps and left the bathroom to go back into her room. Her arms were in pain, feeling like they were on fire and burning. She cried to herself quietly as she prayed away the pain in her arms. She didn't think they were infected, why would they now if no in the past? She just held in the pain and nearly got herself to sleep, just for an hour, when the door was knocked on.

"Kitty? It's me," Will said. "Come downstairs and eat."

"Not hungry, Mr. Schue." Kitty said, trying to hold the pain in.

"Kitty, come eat. Just a little." Will said.

"No hungry, I'll eat later. My friends will understand."

"Uh, fine then." Will said. "Come down in an hour though, okay?" Well, that's when the others were to come over for Titanic.

"Okay." Kitty agreed.


An hour of pain later Kitty emerged downstairs and waited about another fifteen minutes before texting Marley. Where R U?

Marley answered almost instantly. Mr. Schue said you weren't feeling good, so Ry, Jake and I decided to just hang back for the night and let you rest. We're free tomorrow night so maybe we can watch the movie then. Feel better! xoxo

"YOU CANCELLED MY MOVIE PLANS WITH MY FRIENDS?" Kitty roared as she got up and went to the kitchen where she knew Mr. Schue was with Emma, and Kathy was in there too. "WHY DID YOU CANCEL MY MOVIE PLANS!? ALL BECAUSE I DIDN'T EAT THE DAMN DINNER!"

"Kitty it wasn't just that but you also all agreed to eat before they came over." Will said.

"So what? They would of understood if I ate something while Dim-Wit and Leo were making love under the stars in the basement of the boat!" Kitty yelled. "Damn it! I wanted them to come over!"

"Kitty—" Emma began, but Kitty just let out an anger expression.

"NO! FORGET IT! UGH! YOU GUYS SUCK! I HATE YOU GUYS!" Kitty yelled, turning and leaving the room and jogging out of their still screaming.

Kitty slammed her door shut, still grunting her anger, before jumping on her bed and screaming in the pillow. How dare Mr. Schue cancel her plans! She was angry, annoyed and frustrated.

Fifteen minutes passed. Emma came in and sat on the bed, gently placing her hand on Kitty's back and rubbing it softly as the blonde girl kept sobbing into her pillow. After several more minutes Emma, still rubbing Kitty's back, asked her, "Are you okay now, Kitty?"

"I just wanted them over..." Kitty muttered, barely audible for Emma. "I just wanted them over..."

"I know," Emma said gently. "But they can come over on Saturday Even all day if you want."

"Yeah," Kitty whined out her answered, rolling her eyes. She really wanted them here now though. " I guess."

Emma sat in there for another hour rubbing Kitty's back and telling her everything would be okay. Kitty sat there on her side and just half-ass listened to Emma talk to her, usually rolling her eyes from time to time and trying to ignore the pain in her arms. Emma then thought it was okay to leave Kitty alone for a while, so she leaned over and kissed Kitty's cheek then got up and left.

That was strange for Kitty. A kiss on the cheek from some parental like figure. She sat up and placed her hand on her cheek, holding in the warmth she had in it. It was strange for her. But she kind of liked it a bit.


Ten at night came. Kitty's arms itched like hell. She had gone and taken a razor and the scissors from the bathroom and was now sitting on the floor of her room, opening new scars over the old ones. With blood oozing down her arm and and the temporary pain she was in, she was okay. She felt a little happy.

Down the hallway in the bathroom Emma was showering and went to grab a razor for her legs, when she saw it was missing How? She kept everything organized in the bathroom so that it was easy to find things. Emma wrapped herself in a towel and stepped out of the bathroom, turning the shower off, and began looking around for the razor. "Where is it?" She asked.

Will, thinking Emma finished, walked in but saw that she was looking inside of drawers for something "Em? What are you looking for?"

"Razor. I can't find my razor...and I had to cut a towel string earlier but couldn't find the scissors..." Emma said, closing the last drawer. "It was a new razor too, I'll just use a new one."

Missing razor and scissors? That was strange. Will knew Emma kept the bathroom organized from top to bottom. He wasn't sure about the razor, but maybe the scissors were in Kathy's room from cutting paper earlier. Will existed the bathroom and began down to Kathy's room to retrieve the scissors, when he heard sobbing.

"Kitty?"


Kitty sat on her bedroom floor, sobbing as quietly as she could, taking the scissors away from her arm and tossing them on the ground as she held her arms close to her chest and held in the scream she wanted to let out. She knew now her arms were infected, but she couldn't go and blab about it.

"Kitty?" Will knocked on her door. He then opened the door and saw her on the ground, cuddling herself closely. "Kitty?"But she didn't reply to him. Will walked over to comfort her, settling on the ground and going in for a hug. "It's okay, Kitty, what's wrong?"

Kitty shook her head. She couldn't say anything, she didn't want to go to a hospital. She was in deep trouble now.

"Kitty," Will whispered, resting his head on top of hers. "It's okay, you can tell me. Why are you crying?"

Kitty shook her head, sobbing harder.

"Kitty," Will said as he rubbed back her hair. His eyes were caught on the razor and scissors set on the ground in front of them. "Kitty, why are the scissors and Emma's razor in here?"

Shit. No denying now.

"Kitty?"

Kitty sobbed again, burying her face into her chest to avoid eye contact with Mr. Schue and dropping her arms loosely, turning one of them over; revealing to Will why the razor and scissors were in her room.

Will was shocked, seeing her arm blood and the scars reopened and an infection. Will hugged her tightly for several minutes, telling her she'd be okay. He stood up and then helped Kitty up, who at this point didn't care what she was doing. "Where we going?"

"Hospital. Kitty we need too just get them look—"

"NO! I don't wanna go! They're gonna send me to some other hospital far away for this!" Kitty screamed as she sobbed harder. "Please don't make me go, I'll stop this! I promise!"

"Kitty, they're infected. I don't want you to get sick from this, it'll be alright." Will reassured her. "You'll be safe, I promise."

Though Kitty still didn't want to go, her arms were burning like hell. At least that was what it felt like for her, and itchy too. She waited downstairs for Will while he went to tell Emma that he was taking Kitty to the hospital and he'd keep her in contact if anything else happened.

The whole car drive there, with bandage wraps around her arms, Kitty glanced out the window and up at the brightest start in the sky. Come on, I know you said it's me who has to have the strength and I'm the only one who can work on this, but this isn't fucking easy!