Song: Take Your Sweet Time by Jesse McCartney
- you tube dot com /watch?v=fCqlTvmgXMQ&feature=BFa&list=PLFEB7378345B0F39F&index=67
Chapter 46 – CATCHING UP
We kissed slowly, our tongues caressing together, deepening the kiss. I sighed against her lips as I smoothed out some of her hair, giving her a hug before shifting her slightly in my arms. "Can I get you anything?" I asked her.
"Pain meds, upstairs in the bathroom." I already knew that was where they were, so I thought that was a little strange that she was so specific. I went towards the couch to set her down when Bella shook her head.
"What?" I asked, confused.
She leaned forward, whispering in my ear. "I need to go . . . ya know . . . to the bathroom."
"Oh, um . . . okay." Well, this could get interesting. I grabbed her crutch, and carried her upstairs, placing her back on her foot inside the bathroom. Bella was wearing a denim dress, so I hoped that would make this a little easier. "Do I need to do anything?"
"No, Alice has loaded me up on dresses." Bella smiled. "She was thrilled to have the excuse to buy me clothes"
"I noticed when I washed your clothes."
"Thank you for that. Oh, I should have thought of this earlier, I bet I need to change clothes. I probably really stink to you."
"Yeah," I shrugged, it was always weird when I confirmed that she stunk, even if it was her that suggested it in the first place. "I'll get you something."
"Give me a few minutes."
"Alright, just yell when you're ready and I'll come back." I went to her room and got her one of her favorite flannel shirts and loose cotton shorts. As I was waiting, I began to get nervous. It wasn't like I had never seen Bella in her underwear, or less, but it felt different.
I heard Bella call to me so I went back into the bathroom. She was leaning against the sink, her sling was off, lying across the counter, as she unbuttoned her dress with one hand. I closed the door behind me and stood there waiting for her to tell me what to do.
"Do you know what this reminds me of?" Bella said.
I shook my head. "Nope, what?"
"When I fainted in the shower and you were trying to figure out how to get me dressed."
"I remember." I smiled, thinking about that. "Honestly, it feels a lot like that."
Bella turned slowly towards me, taking my hand in hers. "What has happened to us?"
I shook my head. "I freaked out, and messed up."
"What do you mean?" Bella asked, looking very concerned.
"I should have been with you. I just couldn't."
"Why?"
"I can't be objective and be with you at the same time." I ran my hand through my hair, taking a deep breath. "It didn't help that I was having terrible dreams with me imprinted and breaking your heart."
Bella finished unbuttoning her dress and stood on her one leg. I took a step towards her, placing my hand at the small of her back, as I helped to take it off. There were slight bruises over her shoulder and other places where she had been hit. It made me feel terrible and as much as I wanted to take back being away from her, I knew that I needed that time. I could see Bella was thinking about why I was away as I put her shirt on her, buttoned it up, then placed her sling back on. To get her shorts on her, I lifted her to sit on the counter taking one side of the shorts over her cast and then over her other leg as well.
"I wondered why it took you so long to come back." Bella said softly, looking down at the floor.
"Bella . . ." I brought my finger under her chin to lift her eyes to mine. She was still sitting on the counter and I placed my hand just above her knees. "Bella, I was dreaming every night, so that I hated going to sleep. So I stayed up later and later, hoping the dream wouldn't come, but it still did. I was a complete asshole to everyone, with the exception of Emily. One evening I fell asleep on Emily's couch, despite being small and uncomfortable, it was the best sleep I had. So I stayed there, on her couch, until last night."
Bella stayed quiet, it had started to rain with big fat drops splattering against the side of the house. I decided it was time for us to get out of the bathroom, so I opened the door and lifted Bella into my arms. "Do you want to go downstairs or to your room?"
"My room." Bella answered, with a yawn. I carried her, placing her on her bed and leaned her crutch against the wall by the bed. Bella laid down on her back, propping her pillow behind her head. I sat down at the end of her bed, resting my back against the wall.
"How is Emily doing?" Bella asked.
"Some days are better than others. Last night was pretty bad."
"Last night? That is the second time you have said that." Bella looked at me confused.
It wasn't easy, but I told her everything about staying with Emily and the last dream I had. Bella cried when I told her about seeing our children, and watching them disappear before I made the decision to stay and fight for her. I blushed when I told her about making love to her in my dream, and it was really awkward explaining how I panicked when I woke up next to Emily.
"Nothing happened with Emily, it was only a dream. I promise."
"I believe you." Bella said, nodding her head. "Thank you for telling me all that. So where does that leave us?"
I moved closer to her, placing my hand on her hip. "It leaves us to do what I should have done in the first place, to talk to each other, as a couple. I want to go check in with my dad and Emily, and then I can come back and continue to talk this out." I leaned over, giving Bella a gentle hug and kissed the side of her head.
Bella hugged me back while taking a deep breath. "That sounds good."
Wrapped in each other's arms I couldn't quite get myself to leave, until I heard the springs of Charlie's chair squeak. I leaned back and nodded my head towards the door. "Your dad is getting up, you going to be alright until I come back. I was planning to stay in my own house, but I really want to be with you."
"Yes, I'll be fine. Just don't be surprised if I am asleep."
I ran the back of my finger across her cheek to her chin. "Alright, I'll be back soon."
I handed her a book to be able to read until she was ready to sleep, grabbed the keys to the Hummer, setting on top of her desk, and went downstairs. I talked to Charlie telling him that I had some things to check on and that I would be back. Charlie nodded his head at me, as he grabbed a beer. I walked out the door, hearing him settle back down on the couch.
It was still raining outside as I jogged over to the Hummer and jumped inside. It was quiet being by myself and so I flicked on the radio, not caring what I listened to, anything was better than the silence. I had so much stuff I was still trying to figure out and it was all becoming so real. Bella and I were back together, but we still had some major issues that we needed to cover. I began to think about my time away from Bella and remembered that I left Emily pretty awkwardly this morning and decided to go there first.
As I pulled up to her house, I saw Hannah's car, Emily's sister, parked in front of the house and I was glad that she hasn't been by herself all day. I got out of the car and walked inside. Hannah was standing at the sink washing dishes and I could hear Emily in her room.
"Emily?" I called.
"Jacob Black, where the hell have you been?" Emily yelled from her room.
I looked at Hannah guiltily and she didn't say anything. "Help me out, here," I whispered to her.
She shook her head. "No way," she whispered back.
I sighed as I rolled my eyes.
I went to Emily's room and knocked even though the door was open.
"Come in, Jacob." I walked in nervously, I knew that I was in trouble. She was in her bed with a large t-shirt on and the blankets covering her waist and legs. Emily curled her legs under herself and I sat down on the end of her bed as Emily was speaking. "I called around checking on you, so I know you went home and visited Leah. Then no one saw you after that. A few of the guys phased to see if you were wolfing out." Emily ranted.
"No, I went to see Bella."
Then she slapped me in the shoulder. "Why didn't you say you were going there?"
"I'm sorry, Emily, I didn't mean to be gone all day. I lost track of time. Also about this morning, I didn't mean to leave like I did. It wasn't you, it was me." I laughed and wiped my hands over my face.
Emily laughed. "I'm sure every person has heard that at least once in their life."
I shook my head, a little embarrassed. "You know what I mean, right?"
"I get that it wasn't me, but I don't get why it was you. What happened?"
I told her about my last dream and how I had decided that I needed to talk to Dad and also to Leah. Emily stayed quiet and listened, however smiled when I told her that I went to see Bella and brought her back to her house.
"Good for you, Jacob. How is Bella?"
"She is messed up, but she will get better. She can't go up or down the stairs on her own so I'll be there for a while."
"How did she take you being gone?" Emily asked.
"Of course she was mad at first, which she had every right to be. However, it is getting better."
"I'm glad."
"Me too."
We were both quiet for a little bit. "Jacob, you said that your dreams were telling you to fight the imprint, if you do." Emily stated.
"Yeah?" I questioned.
"Do you think Sam should have?"
I moved closer to her, taking her hand. "I can't answer that. Mostly because I am not Sam."
"But you have seen inside his head." Emily insisted.
"True, but that doesn't really help because Sam never thought of trying to fight it. No one has, so it is completely unknown. Regardless, I'm glad that he didn't fight it, because I like that I know you."
"Thanks, Jacob, you're not so bad yourself." Emily teased. "It is a crazy world that Sam brought me into, but I am glad that he did."
I leaned forward right as Emily did and we hugged each other, with her head leaning on my shoulder. "Are you going to be okay?" I asked her.
"I will be, because I have to be." Emily murmured as her hand rubbed across her stomach. I wasn't sure if she was aware that she touched her stomach often. I never knew if it felt different to her or if it was simply a gesture that she picked up from being pregnant.
"I'll be here as much as I can."
"Be with Bella, that is where you should be. I have my family."
"Speaking of, do you mind if I call Leah to stay with you for a little while. I understand you may want to be alone, but I want someone to be here as much as possible."
"Thanks, Jake. You've been really great to me."
"Well, if I haven't said it before, I really care about you. Even without fur, you are part of my pack and we take care of each other."
Emily chuckled, and I felt like it was time for me to go. I gave her another hug and kissed her temple before using her phone to call Leah.
At first Leah was still pissed at me until I told her that I was back with Bella. She calmed down immediately, so I was able to ask if she was willing to stay with Emily for a while, which Leah did agree to. I gave that information to Emily and then I drove over to my own home. It was getting late and when I walked in Rachel and Paul were sitting on the couch watching a movie. I acknowledged them and walked to Dad's room. Just about everyone in the pack had helped Dad get ready for bed at least once and so it didn't surprise me that Paul was able to get him comfortably in bed. Dad had his TV on and was watching sports.
"I'm glad that you went to Bella." Dad commented.
"Yeah, me too. I can't believe I was so stupid to think that I couldn't be with her."
"Does she know about your dreams?"
"Yes, I told her."
"I'm proud of you, Jacob." He surprised me by saying.
"I haven't done anything to be proud of lately."
"That is not true. Leaving Bella was a mistake, but you're not hiding behind that mistake. You are facing it and taking responsibility for what you did."
"I'm done running away." I promised. "I know that Bella and I still have things we need to talk about, but we will do it together. Unless she decides that imprinting is too big of a risk."
"Do you think she will?" Dad asked.
"No, I think she will stay with me. If I didn't know that before, the fact she took me back now proves it."
"I see what you mean." Dad said, nodding his head.
"Are you doing alright, Dad?" He gave me a confused look. "It is still going to be several weeks for Bella to get to a point where she can move without destroying the place with her one crutch." Dad chuckled and I couldn't help smiling as I thought about everything that gets maimed or destroyed in her wake. "So I was going to stay at Bella's for a while. As long as you are okay."
"You worry too much, Jacob. I am not your responsibility."
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to get like that."
"Do what you need to do son, I'll be fine."
"Thanks."
I went back to Bella's and the place was quiet, but the front door was unlocked so I knew that Charlie was expecting me back. I looked at the couch expecting to see a pillow and blanket there, but that wasn't the case so I went upstairs to Bella's room. She was sprawled diagonal across her bed, lying on her back, therefore I grabbed my pillow and spread out over the floor. The couch would be softer, but would be cramped for space and this way I could be available to help Bella if she needed to get up during the night.
I woke up the next morning to Bella's moans and I could tell that she was really uncomfortable, therefore I rolled onto my knees at the side of her bed.
"Bells, what can I do?" I asked, taking her hand.
"Help me to the bathroom." Bella's face scrunched in pain as I lifted her up and carried her to the bathroom. I got her pants off so she could use the restroom and stepped out so that I could get a glass of water for her to take her pain meds. I waited for a moment downstairs, and decided to grab some Pop Tarts, heating them in the toasted. While I waited, I looked out the window, noticing that Charlie's cruiser was gone, before I went back up to the bathroom, carrying the Pop Tarts in a napkin.
"I wish I could take a bath." Bella said swallowing her meds.
"Can you hang your foot out and still sit comfortably inside?"
"Yeah, I guess. Are you okay with helping me with all this?" Bella asked, loosening the sling so that she could take it off.
"Would you rather me get your dad?" The look of complete horror on Bella's face was absolutely priceless. "That is what I thought." I said laughing.
Bella scowled and rolled her eyes as she unbuttoned her shirt. "That was mean."
"Yeah," I grinned, "but totally worth it. Besides he isn't here."
Bella smiled, as she shook her head. "What am I going to do with you?"
"I can think of a few things." I teased and raised my eyebrows suggestively, as I plugged the drain and turned the water on. Bella suppressed a giggle, instead mentioning that there were some bubbles in the cabinet and I added a large dollop, not really sure how much I was supposed to use, swirling it with my hand to mix it with the water. "It is not like I have never seen you naked. Just don't get mad at me for enjoying it more than I probably should."
"Pervert."
"Why don't I get naked and see how well you do at not ogling me." I smirked.
"Okay, point taken."
I smiled as I took her shirt and bra off, then had her test the water to see if she liked the temperature. Seeing Bella completely naked was amazing and even better to feel her body as I lifted her up holding her bridal style, lowering her into the water. There was a thick layer of bubbles and they gave a warm vanilla scent to the room. Her cast hung over the side and I sat down resting her foot on top of my raised knees.
"Are you comfortable?" I asked.
"Yeah, this is great. Thank you."
"No problem." I grabbed the Pop Tarts from the counter and leaned my back against the wall, resting my arm along the side of the tub.
I handed one to Bella and we ate in silence. Once Bella finished hers, I offered her another but she shook her head as she raised her arm, interlacing our fingers together. "Jake, yesterday morning, what did you do after leaving Emily's?"
"I went to my dad and then to Leah, before coming to you."
"Why Leah?"
"I felt like she could offer the perspective on imprinting that I needed, but didn't want to hear. She is the one that got thrown aside and my greatest fear has always been that that would be you." I watched Bella's face as I continued to tell her about my conversation with Leah. Sometimes Bella would smile at Leah being Leah, and other times she would bite down on her bottom lip and frown, possibly sad for what Leah had experienced. It was clear that this was the dark side of imprinting, and it was important that we talk about it.
"So Leah saying that what you were doing was worse than what Sam did, is that what made you come back?"
"Sort of. She also said that I was acting just like Edward and if I didn't get my ass over there that Edward would have you instead of me."
"So this is all about Edward?"
"No, not all."
"Jake . . ." Bella said, in disbelief.
"Okay, well maybe a little bit. Leah was right about me acting like Edward, and I didn't like that at all. Edward left you because he thought it was best for you, and I left to try and figure out if leaving was best for you."
"So what did you decide?"
"You need to know that I think I might imprint, I can't any longer deny that it could happen. However, I also plan to fight it with everything I have. I will pick you."
"Easy for you to say, you haven't imprinted."
"I know, which is why you need to really think about if you want to risk being with me."
Bella nodded her head and frowned, shifting a little in the water which caused it to ripple across the surface. Bella added soap to her wash cloth, using it to wash her body and I washed her hair and what parts she couldn't reach with one hand. Then I lifted her out of the water, quickly wrapping her in a towel, patting her dry. I carried her to her room and sat her on the bed while I went to the closet and dresser for her clothes, getting her dressed.
"Bells, there is one more thing to think about." I said, sitting down next to her on the bed.
"What is that?"
"I told my dad about the dreams and he pointed out that even when I was imprinted, I still wanted you. I don't know how much truth is in the dreams, but when I picked you my imprint left saying that she wouldn't exist as long as I was with you."
"I wish that there was a way to hold her to that promise." Bella murmured.
"I do too. I have no idea what she meant by that, but I trust her."
Bella nodded her head leaning over so that her head rested against my shoulder, and I tilted my head down against hers.
Bella and I spent the next several days pretty quiet. We watched a ton of movies, laughing and kissing each other, however we could both feel that it wasn't really settled. I was fine with being patient, I simply asked that she let me stay and be with her. She agreed, so that is what I did. At first Bella felt bad about me sleeping on the floor, but I told her that it wasn't a problem. It gave us the space that we needed to start rebuilding our relationship.
One night she had a terrible nightmare about her time with Victoria, her entire body was shaking, mumbling about being so cold. I laid down next to her and she completely melted into my body. The following morning she told me more about the torture that she experienced with Victoria and asked that I start sleeping with her at night. By this time Bella did not have much pain so I felt confident that I wouldn't hurt her in our sleep, therefore I moved to her bed. It was so great to be able to hold her in my arms and kiss her deeply.
I went to La Push often to check in with Dad and Emily, which were both doing fine. I usually went when Bella was taking a nap in the afternoon or sometimes when she went to bed early.
"Hey, Jake, I would like to come with you this time." Bella said, stretching from the couch.
"That would be great. Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am so ready to get out of the house. I don't care where you are going, I just want to go."
"As you wish." I scooped her up, kissing her softly as I carried her to the Hummer, placing her inside. Bella threw her crutch in the back seat as I got in the driver's seat. We chatted easily or listened to the radio as I drove. We pulled up to Emily's house and I walked slowly with Bella as she hopped herself inside.
"Hey, Emily, I brought company." I smiled at her as she was doing something at the kitchen sink.
Emily looked up and smiled brightly. "Bella!" She yelled as she grabbed a hand towel to dry her hands and came over towards us, giving Bella a big hug.
"Sorry, he was being such an idiot," Emily said to Bella.
"Hey," I scowled at Emily and Bella chuckled at us.
"Everyone tried to get him to go back to you, so I'm glad that he did." Emily continued.
"Speaking of everyone, what do you think of having a bonfire tomorrow night?" I asked her. "Summer is about half over and we really haven't all done anything together."
"Sure, I'll put some food together." Emily offered.
"I'll help you," Bella volunteered. Emily and Bella started talking about food and what they would make with ingredients in the house or the garden that Emily maintained. I told them I would go to the store if anything needed to be bought. Emily agreed to spread the word about the get together, just about everyone came by here at least once throughout the day.
"Emily, I'm really sorry about Sam," Bella said sadly. "I wish that Victoria's pursuit of me hadn't caused Sam to die." I hadn't thought of Bella blaming herself for Sam's death. Even though it was wrong for Bella to do that I understood how she felt.
I started to say something to make Bella feel better when Emily shook her head as she took Bella's hand. "Thank you Bella, however you are not responsible for what others do."
Bella and I stayed a little longer chatting with Emily, and then made our exit. Dad was clearly pleased to see Bella as he gave her a hug, even Paul seemed to be happy for us. Rachel and Bella had a lot more to talk about now that Rachel knew the secret and they seemed to be getting along well. I leaned against the living room wall, watching all the interactions going on around me until Bella smiled and reached her hand towards me. Paul and Rachel had been sitting on the couch when Bella joined them. I propped her foot on a kitchen chair and I sat down on the floor, resting my arm across Bella's knees. We started a movie and I leaned my head in Bella's lap, hugging her legs to my chest as she rested her arm across my shoulders.
Rachel had worked it out with her job for her to work from home, which was how we got high speed Internet in the house. We also had to put her room back together. It took some work getting Dad's carving things out and into his own room. Paul, Rachel, Kim and Jared borrowed a truck and trailer to get most of Rachel's things and bring them here. Rachel never said if being home was still difficult because of the house reminding her of Mom, but maybe being away made coming back easier.
When the movie was over Dad rolled himself to his room and I told him I would be there in a minute. Both Rachel and Bella were asleep, I picked up Bella prepared to take her to my room, when Paul stopped me.
"Hey, Jake."
"Yeah?"
"I really hope that you don't imprint."
"Thanks, me too."
Paul picked up Rachel. "Do you mind if I stay with her?" Paul asked. They were certainly a couple, but seemed to be taking things slow. Paul either slept on the couch or went to his own house and I had only caught them kissing a few times. I don't know if that was for my benefit or Rachel's idea, but either way I was thankful.
"You are asking me if you can sleep with my sister. I don't think so." I laughed.
Paul rolled his eyes. "I won't do anything."
"Sure, sure." I shook my head.
"I promise."
"Paul, I believe that you mean that, but she is your imprint. That's . . . different."
"I know." Paul said lovingly as he looked at Rachel in his arms. I had to admit it was weird seeing him with Rachel. He really was a completely different person with her.
I took a deep breath, him staying most likely wouldn't be any different than Bella staying with me, but I just couldn't get over that Rachel was my sister. "Have you and Rachel talked about you staying before?" I asked awkwardly.
"Not in a while." Paul answered.
"Then I say no, and talk to Rachel about it. Regardless of whatever she decides, if I ever see or hear you doing anything to her I will make life miserable for you. Clear?"
"Crystal." Paul nodded his head and carried Rachel to her room and I carried Bella to my own.
I laid Bella across the bed, as she sighed against her pillow and rolled over to her side. I got Dad ready for bed and gave Charlie a call to let him know that Bella and I wouldn't be coming there tonight, but staying at my house. Afterwards, I took a quick shower and then crawled into bed with Bella. It had been a while since I have been in my own bed and it felt fantastic. I tucked myself around Bella, she smelled so wonderful as I kissed her hair, wrapped my arms around her, and went to sleep.
