Authors Note: Thanks for your reviews!

Chapter 51- Every Rose Has Its Thorn-Part 1

Jim squeezed the back of his neck, wishing he would've met his father for lunch to give him back the papers he had asked him to look over…but instead he had gone after work; and once he was there, he had allowed his mother to guilt him into staying for dinner. He sighed, if he and Johanna had stuck to their usual Friday night dinner plans, he wouldn't be stuck here, listening to his mother harp about his life. He also wouldn't have felt guilted into staying if it hadn't been for Johanna's advice to make special time for his mother so she wouldn't feel left out.

That would be the last time he listened to her.

"Don't think for a minute that I've forgotten about you sneaking that floozy up to the cabin," Elizabeth remarked amongst the sounds of forks scrapping against plates after she finished her spiel about his lack of visits and calls.

"Do we really have to go through all of that again?" Jim asked. "That's probably why I've been steering clear of this place. For the record, once again, I didn't 'sneak' Johanna up to the cabin; I asked Dad if we could use the place for a week and he said yes."

"Well he shouldn't have!" his mother said tartly. "You and that creature aren't married and you have no business living together, even temporarily. Your father and I have talked at length about him giving his permission to use our home for such shenanigans."

"She is not a creature," Jim said tersely. "I'm tired of telling you to address her by her name."

"And I'm tired of this whole thing," Robert added as he eyed his wife. "It's all I've heard since I was forced to tell you they were up there. I think it's time for Jimmy to know a little truth of yours, Elizabeth. I want him to know that when you told me about Michael calling to use the cabin, I told you to call him back and tell him to wait until the next weekend because Jimmy and Johanna were going up there for a week. You told me that you called him and told him not to go…you lied to me…and we've talked at length about that!"

Elizabeth waved the statement away as if she was doing nothing more than shooing away a pesky fly.

"I knew it!" Jim exclaimed. "I knew from the moment I laid eyes on Michael in that driveway that you were behind it! You deliberately ruined the first week of our vacation."

"That's what you get!" Elizabeth remarked; "Taking that girl up there and sleeping with her in my bed! How dare you!"

"It's not your house, its Dad's."

"Everything that's his is mine!"

Robert was feeling more irritated with his wife than usual that week and he didn't even try to stop his words from slipping through his lips. "It's definitely my house, Lizzie; I just let you stay there on occasion."

Elizabeth glared at her husband. "As long as we're married, it's mine; and no son of mine is going to use my home to shack up with the slut he's laying with!"

"She's not a slut," Jim retorted; "And not that it's any of your business, but the only thing we did in that bed was sleep."

His mother scoffed. "Only because Michael got there in time. I told you I didn't want her in my house."

"Technically, you said this house," Jim reminded her; "So get it over it. I get sick and tired of going through this with you. You're not the one spending time with her so butt out of my relationship."

"You wouldn't have to go through it if you'd listen to me! I won't butt out of your life, not for anything; not when I see you making a huge mistake with this dalliance. She's no good, Jimmy. She's one of those high maintenance little bitches that want to sit on a throne and be pampered; I can see it in her. She's just like all of those other gold digging floozies, out looking for a well to do, successful man to marry. Madelyn told me all about how she took over the household like she was your wife."

"All she did was cook a few meals and keep things cleaned up; because Madelyn sure as well wasn't lifting one of her privileged, pampered little fingers to do anything," Jim retorted.

"And don't forget taking care of the children like she's some magical Mary Poppins; she even had the audacity to say that she's a better aunt to the children than Madelyn is."

"For starters, that isn't what Johanna said; she told me about the conversation and I'd believe her over Madelyn any day, and you know what, it is the truth. They get more attention and affection from Johanna than they ever do from Madelyn."

"That's because your little saint wants something; and that something is your last name, James Robert!"

He ignored the comment. "As for taking care of the kids, we had no choice since Michael and Natalie kept taking off and leaving them with us."

"Apparently your girlfriend didn't mind," Elizabeth sneered. "She just does it all, like a perky little housewife you see on television. Who is she trying to be, June Cleaver? You mark my words, that girl is looking for a man to marry. She's fishing for a ring and you're too blind to see it."

"I don't see how she's fishing for a ring," Jim replied.

His mother sighed in disgust. "For God's sake, Jimmy; don't you know anything? Women don't go around playing house with a man unless she's looking to make that arrangement permanent."

He hated to admit it, even to himself, but it made sense in a way…and Johanna did act wifely sometimes. Was she hoping to push forward to marriage already? They didn't need to be rushing along…but maybe he was jumping the gun. His mother could be wrong.

Robert jumped back into the conversation. "I don't see anything wrong with a woman demonstrating that she's qualified to be a good wife. Johanna's a good woman; a hard worker, capable, kind and lovely. I think she's perfect for you, son. You'd be smart to settle down with her."

Jim felt more tension creeping into his body. "I'm not getting married, Dad."

"Why not? You're at an age where you should start giving it more thought. Settling down has its rewards, son. You get to go home to the woman you love every night."

Jim glanced between his parents, wondering for the millionth time how they ever ended up together. "Yeah, I'm in a real hurry for that," he said sarcastically. If married women were like his mother, he wanted nothing to do with marriage…but the stray thought popped in mind that in all likelihood, Johanna wouldn't be the kind of wife his mother was, but still, it was too soon.

"You can't sew wild oats forever, Jimmy," his father remarked. "You found a nice girl who loves you and makes you happy. It wouldn't hurt to start thinking about settling down with her and having a family."

"Having a family!" Jim exclaimed. "I'm not ready for that! I wasn't even happy to be an uncle during my vacation. I don't want that responsibility yet!"

Robert chuckled. "I didn't say you had to run out and become a father next week; I'm just saying that you're at an age where you need to start thinking about these things. Your mother and I aren't getting any younger and we'd like to see our children settled with families of their own."

"You have three other unsettled children," Jim replied; "Pick on them. William's older than me."

"I know," his father said. "He needs to settle down too instead of letting his career rule his life. I don't know if he has anyone special in his life since he's never around but I know that you do and I'd like to see you hang on to her since she means so much to you…keep in mind that she could be the one. It doesn't hurt to start thinking of the future."

"We just started dating!"

"I know, but you and Johanna have a history that starts long before your dating relationship. You can't put it off forever."

"I can try," Jim retorted.

"Your father's right," Elizabeth stated. "You should think about settling down; just not with Johanna! She's not the girl for you. I'm begging you, Jimmy; don't marry that girl; she'll be nothing but trouble and you'll regret it the rest of your life."

Jim smacked his hand against the table. "I'm not marrying anyone!"

"Not at this moment," his mother replied; "But you should think about it, we'll find you the right girl. A lot of my friends have lovely daughters who would be just perfect for you. They're good decent girls who know their place. Louise's daughter Carrie is a good choice; so is Betsy's daughter Bethany. I could arrange for you to meet them."

Jim eyed her incredulously. "Do you hear yourself? You're trying to set me up with other women when you know I'm in a relationship with someone else? Are you crazy?"

"You don't owe her anything," Elizabeth remarked. "The ring isn't on her finger yet, you're allowed to shop around for other options. Meeting these girls wouldn't hurt anything, you might like them."

"Elizabeth!" Robert bellowed. "That's wrong on some many levels that I can't even count them all. He's in a serious, committed relationship; how dare you tell him it's alright to be unfaithful to Johanna?"

"Oh please," she spat; "I didn't tell him to sleep with these girls; they're too good to sleep with someone before being properly wed; that's why he should get to know a class of girls like that."

"I'm not meeting anybody!" Jim yelled. "If I ever get married, I'll choose the bride, and I don't care who likes it and who doesn't; but at the moment, marriage is the last thing I want!"

Elizabeth shook her head, tsking softly as she looked at him. "You're going to marry her; I feel it in my bones. You're going to marry that girl to spite me one day…either that or she's going to have you so turned around that she'll have you down the aisle with a ring on her finger before you wake up from your haze and realize what's happened. She has too much of a hold on you…you think with the wrong body part when it comes to her. You're going to break my heart and marry her, I know it…why don't you just go ahead and do it this weekend and be done. Just know I'll probably kill over as soon as you bring her to the first family dinner."

Anger and frustration pumped through Jim's veins as he looked at Elizabeth. "Don't tempt me like that, Mother."

"James!" she declared in outrage.

Jim dropped his fork and shoved back his chair, rising from the table. "I'm not marrying anybody; not anyone you choose, not anyone at the moment."

"Your girlfriend will be disappointed to hear that," Elizabeth cracked. "It means she'll have to work harder to turn your head some more."

"That's enough, Elizabeth," Robert said firmly. "Who he spends his time with is his choice and his choice isn't wrong when it comes to Johanna. I hope he does marry her one day; I think they'd be very happy together and then you could eat a nice big helping of crow."

"I'm done with this," Jim stated. "I'm not discussing it anymore. Johanna and I are going out with friends tonight, I'm just going to head on over there and pick her up…and allow the thought of it to send you screaming into the night, Mother. Thanks for dinner, I'll see you around."

His mother was still talking as he stormed away from the dining room table but he didn't care. He wanted to get far away from them and the suddenly pressing idea that he needed to get married. He would decide when he got married, no one else.


Johanna had a sinking feeling as Jim walked her to her door that evening…but then again, she'd had that feeling the entire ride home. She sighed softly and rummaged through her purse for her keys; they should've gone out for their usual Friday night dinner instead of meeting up with their friends…it had only caused trouble.

"I was only kidding, Jim," she said for what she was sure was the hundredth time since they left the bar. "I haven't been ring shopping."

Her boyfriend made no comment, but there was tension in his jaw line, his silence unnerving and she ached to reach out and smooth her fingertips against his jaw in effort to soothe away the tightness that was lingering there but she didn't dare. He'd already given her the brush off a few times.

The evening had started out well, although he had seemed a little tense in the beginning. When she had asked him about it, he told her that it was nothing; just a long week coupled with a stop at his parents before he picked her up. It wasn't anything to worry about. Johanna had believed him, and once they were at the bar with their friends, he relaxed and seemed to be having a good time. After awhile, they had slipped into their own little world, his arm around her, the conversations going on around them but they only had eyes for one another, whispering flirty comments in each other's ear, along with their plans for the celebration they'd have after they won the case they'd be taking to court the following week. They stole kisses…and perhaps were a little more amorous than they had thought as their friends finally noticed them locked in a lingering kiss.

The teasing had started with Sharon commenting that they acted like newlyweds. That had been all it took to set Jeff, Maggie, Phil and Zach off on a lighthearted conversation about the best place for them to honeymoon. She hadn't taken the conversation seriously…she hadn't thought that Jim did either has he hadn't said much about it and even smiled a little when Zach made the final decision that anywhere with a bed was likely good enough for the honeymoon.

It might've ended there if Sharon had just stayed quiet…but her best friend wasn't known for keeping her mouth shut and she had eyed them both and made the statement; "Before there can be a honeymoon, there has to be a marriage. Why don't the two of you just go get married and be done with it? You already act married so why waste time, just go do it."

Johanna recalled that she had laughed at the comment, as did everyone else…but in hindsight; she realized that Jim hadn't laughed. Sharon's playful remark set off another round of teasing as their friends planned their 'wedding' for them. Johanna hadn't taken any of it seriously; it had all seemed like lighthearted fun to her…and in a moment of what she now considered stupidity, she had decided to play along.

"What do you think of the wedding plans, Jo?" Jeff had asked her with a laugh. "As the bride, the final decision on everything is yours."

"It all sounds good to me," she giggled; her hand falling to Jim's thigh as she glanced at him. "And you know, there are some very nice rings in the window at Tiffany's."

Their friends laughed. "There you go, Jim," Jeff said lightly. "You don't even really have to shop, Jo's already scouted a location for the best rings; your job just got easier. Buy the ring and show up when she tells you to and this marriage is all set."

"And then you can get on your way to that honeymoon," Zach added with a laugh.

Jim's face hardened. "Knock it off; there isn't going to be any wedding or ring buying so just shut up."

"Someone's touchy tonight," Sharon remarked. "If you want to have the honeymoon first go ahead, we don't care…I'm sure Jo doesn't mind, do you?"

"No, I don't mind," she replied, but then she glanced at his face and wished that she had stayed silent. She could see tension and anger in his features and the arm he had around her pulled away, his hand shooing hers off of his thigh.

It had been a long night ever since that moment. She hadn't been serious when she made the comment about rings; she hadn't been shopping for an engagement ring, nor had she had been hinting for one. She was enjoying their relationship as it was, she wasn't in any rush…the teasing seemed harmless, after all, they'd been teased about it before…they had even joked about it themselves. Apparently he wasn't in a laughing mood that night.

They stopped at her door and she reached out to rub his arm. "I'm sorry if I upset you, honey," she said softly and sincerely. "I was just kidding like everyone else. I swear to you that I haven't been ring shopping…that's not something I'd do. Please don't be angry with me over a little joke that meant nothing."

"I'm not angry," he stated.

"It seems like you are; you've barely said a word to me since that all went down…no one meant any harm."

"I know that."

"Then what's wrong?" she asked as she tried to slip her arms around him only to be rebuffed.

"Nothing's wrong."

"It seems like something is."

"Well you do fancy yourself a know it all," Jim remarked.

Johanna bit her tongue to keep from making a sharp retort. "Jim; I'm sorry that I upset you tonight…do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about," he said as he pressed a feather light kiss to her cheek. "Goodnight."

"Wait," she said as she caught hold of his wrist. "I thought I was staying with you this weekend…why did you bring me home?"

"I thought it was best; I'm not feeling up to company tonight."

"That's not what you were saying earlier…you said you'd been looking forward to us spending the evening together."

Jim sighed. "Look, Jo, I changed my mind."

"Why?"

"Do I need a reason?"

She shrugged. "Maybe…I mean this is a pretty big change in attitude. I was looking forward to being with you tonight."

"Well we don't always get what we want, do we?"

His sharp comments were starting to needle her but she was doing her best to control her temper. "Honey, whatever this is, we can work it out. I really am sorry…why don't you come in for a little while? We can get back to where we were earlier, okay?" she murmured as she brushed a soft kiss against the corner of his mouth.

"Not tonight, Johanna; I just want to be alone," Jim retorted; his tone gruff and tinged with what she figured was anger.

Johanna stepped back from him, sadness flickering in her eyes. "What about tomorrow?"

"You said you had things to help Sharon with for her wedding," he replied; the words sounding more like an accusation than a statement of facts.

"I do have things to do with Sharon but I thought we were going out to dinner tomorrow night…that we were staying together."

"I don't think this weekend works for me," he replied. "I'll take you out some other time."

That felt like a kiss off, Johanna thought to herself and she found herself speaking the words aloud. "Is this some sort of kiss off because I made one stupid joke?"

"No; I just want the weekend to myself, why is that a problem? Why do you have to be so clingy?"

"Clingy?" she repeated; the remark wounding her as she took another step back, as if physical space between them would prove the claim wrong.

Jim nodded. "You can be clingy at times."

"And you're not?" Johanna asked, her brow raised in challenge.

"No; I'm not."

"You have clingy moments," she retorted. "And for the record, I didn't know that asking if the plans we made were still on was a sign of clinginess. I only asked because of this total 180 you've done in the last two hours all because of some teasing that we've been through before. Now if something's going on in your head, let's go in and talk about it and settle it so that it doesn't have to eat at either one of us."

"I don't need to talk about anything," Jim replied. "Quit nagging me; I changed my mind about the weekend, what's the big deal?"

Johanna sensed that he was spoiling for a fight and she didn't feel like playing into his hand. If they fought it would only serve to drag out whatever this was about…maybe if she just let it go, he'd go and work things out for himself and everything would be fine. "It's not a big deal," she answered. "If you changed your mind about us spending the weekend together because you want some space, that's fine. I'll miss you but I understand; like you said, I have things to do with Sharon for her wedding so I wouldn't have been around much tomorrow during the day anyway."

Jim shifted on his feet; she was making it all okay, or at least making it seem as though it was and for some reason her easy acceptance instead of fighting him only seemed to fuel the flurry of irrational feelings that was boiling inside of him. "I'll call you," he told her, needing to get away as quickly as possible.

She nodded; her heart still carrying that sinking feeling as she forced herself not to step closer and kiss him goodnight. "Goodnight, honey," she said softly.

"Goodnight," he replied before turning and moving back in the direction of the elevator before she even got her door unlocked. She frowned, he usually at least waited until she was safely inside…he usually stood outside the door and listened to the lock slid into place to be assured that she was safely tucked away. He did neither of those things and it unnerved her as her eyes remained glued upon his figure while he pointedly ignored her before stepping onto the elevator.

This was so not good, Johanna thought to herself as she finally stepped into her apartment. It seemed like such a trivial thing to be mad over but he was…and she had the horrible feeling that it wasn't going to get better any time soon.


When he got home, Jim threw his keys on the coffee table with more force than necessary, causing them to slide off and hit the floor. He let them there, too disgruntled to care as he stalked off to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge. He pried off the cap and took a long soothing drink as his mind continued to swirl.

His mother was right; Johanna was fishing for a ring.

It was a bitter pill to swallow and he grimaced as the realization hit him all over again. Frustration and anger boiled his blood. Wasn't what they already had enough? Did she always need more? Was she really that needy? Why hadn't he seen it before? What was it with women? You gave them an inch and they wanted to take a damn mile; there was no sense in it, and he wasn't going to keep allowing these things to happen. He was tired of everyone telling him how to live his life and when he should take certain steps. He would decide when or if they got married; the man always made that decision, not the woman…and she better start thinking about that, he mused. She had gotten her way about them taking the step of dating; she was not going to dictate the next move.

Of course maybe it was his own fault that she felt she could get away with pushing so often. He had given in to her demands to move from friends to a committed relationship. Perhaps that was the problem; she'd gotten her way once, now she thought she would get away with it again. She was wrong.

Jim carried his beer to the bedroom and flipped on the light; a gleam of silver catching his eye on the floor by the bed. He stooped down and picked up Johanna's earrings, figuring they had fallen off the nightstand the last time she had stayed and she hadn't realized it. He was always finding memorabilia of her stays, earrings, pantyhose, bobby pins; it seemed like everywhere he looked he could find a piece of her. He was always finding her tube of lipstick on the bathroom counter; a magazine on the kitchen table, a book on the stand by the couch, a bottle of nail polish on the dresser.

He blew out a breath and looked at the closet, the door hanging open from when he got ready for work that morning. Johanna was always telling him to shut it when she was there. He frowned as he stared at her belongings which were visible as they rested next to his. He squeezed his neck; feeling like a noose had slipped around it. She was practically living there several days a week; she cooked all the meals when they didn't go out, she kept the place neat and tidy, subtly cleaning when he was occupied with paperwork or a ballgame on TV. He had found himself on trips to the grocery store with her…and trips to other stores as well. He was pretty sure he had even held her purse on one occasion while she tried on a dress that she seen in a store window and the remembrance made his stomach clench. Those clothes baskets of clean clothes he had a habit of letting sit…Johanna always folded them and put them away when she was there. She was also making him use a plate when he ate pizza in the living room…instead of just picking up a slice from the box and letting any crumbs fall where they may.

Whenever he was invited somewhere lately, there was always the added 'feel free to bring Johanna with you' invitation…as if they had to go everywhere together. She was getting to know his family, doted on his nieces and nephews when she saw them and charmed his father. She listened to him rant and rave over anything and everything, tried to be helpful with work problems, offered him support, advice and comfort. She moved around him easily in the bathroom on Thursday mornings when they had to share the space to get ready for work. She warmed his bed…and she didn't turn down his advances too often.

Johanna did act like a wife…she did play house. He was too blind and stupid to realize it. His mother was right. God he hated that. Why the hell did she have to be right? When had things gotten so incredibly serious between him and Johanna that it had turned into a pseudo marriage? How had it gotten this far?

Jim sighed; well, the only thing to do was to start putting some boundary lines back in place. This little game of house she was playing was going to stop so she better just pull her line back out of the water because she wasn't catching any diamond studded fish at the moment. He had rushed into things and now he had to correct it. They'd go back to having more dates than at home coziness; maybe cut out the weekend living arrangement…even though he did enjoy having her so close and mostly to himself on those days, but apparently he had given her the wrong idea. He wasn't ready for marriage…no matter what anyone said…no matter how many of those little daydreams he had about coming home to her on a daily basis. The answer was no…he had to take back the control.

With that thought in mind, Jim took another long sip of his beer and then sat the bottle on the nightstand so he could change his clothes. He'd take care of this, one way or another.


Johanna laid awake, staring at the numbers on the clock as the TV played in the background. She wasn't really used to being home on Friday nights anymore. She was used to being at Jim's…she wanted to be at Jim's. She sighed, her gaze shifting from the clock back to the television. She didn't know how things had gone so horribly wrong because of a little teasing they had taken before. She hated when he didn't talk to her about things.

She rolled over on her side, her gaze falling on the empty space next to her. Jim had been so affectionate for the first half of the evening, despite having their friends gathered around. She had been looking forward to going home with him as always. His kisses had teased, under the table; his hand had glided under her skirt, his fingertips caressing her thigh. He had whispered in her ear that when he got her home, that skirt had to go.

Her cheeks warmed just as they had when he had murmured the words, his lips grazing her ear. Johanna breathed deeply; she had been looking forward to the kisses they would share, his touches that would set her on fire…his playful promise that he'd undress her slowly, that he'd drive her crazy and make her beg him for more. Desire rippled through her; she had wanted him to keep those promises…wanted a long night spent making love to him…but it all crashed and burned.

Johanna couldn't help but remember how his arm had slipped away from her, how he had brushed off her touch for the rest of the evening after that damn joke about rings in the window at Tiffany's. Surely by now he knew when she was joking; he had known her long enough…proclaimed to know her inside and out, and yet he was now treating her like the plague, sentencing her to the night alone…the whole weekend for that matter. He had turned so cold and aloof so suddenly. It worried her.

She had apologized…she'd apologize ten more times if he wanted, if it would make him lose that cold, angry look that had been on his face. She was sorry…so incredibly sorry. She hadn't meant anything by the comment; she wasn't trying to march him down the aisle…she wasn't that modern of a woman that she'd do the asking for marriage. Really, he should know her better than that. It seemed so odd that he'd get so worked up over a little teasing…he teased their friends all the time; it wasn't anything he hadn't done to anyone; it wasn't anything that hadn't been done to him before. Had she done something that she didn't realize she had done? She couldn't imagine what it would've been…but she wished they hadn't gone out that night. Why hadn't they just gone to dinner as usual?

Oh, that was right, because Jeff had invited them to join the rest of the group and she had told Jim it might be fun and that they could always go to dinner Saturday night; after all, he had mentioned that he needed to drop some papers off to his father and she figured he'd want to chat with him for awhile and Colleen had asked her to meet her after work at a furniture store to get her opinion on the bedroom suit she was thinking of buying. She hadn't wanted to turn her sister down since they seemed to be slowly recapturing their closeness and Jim had seemed understanding of that, telling her to go ahead and that he'd pick her up at 7 to go out with everyone else.

She supposed she could've put Colleen off and that he could've dropped off those papers to his father in the morning and they could've had their usual Friday night…but they hadn't…and now things felt rocky between them.

Johanna closed her eyes; it had been her idea to go out…her big mouth that played along with the idiots…that made it all her fault. She sighed and sat up, reaching for the phone. She dialed Jim's number, intent on apologizing again. The line rang endlessly and he never answered…like he somehow knew it was her. She hung up the phone and sank back down in her bed. Her father was right, she really didn't have the sense God gave a goose.

A weighted breath crossed her lips, a long night and weekend looming in front of her. Maybe since he was going to have some space, he'd calm down and realize that she had been joking; surely he'd call or come around before the weekend was over…wouldn't he? She hoped so…she didn't want this to snowball into something more than it needed to be. She just had to think positively and apologize again when she saw him. They could work it out; she was sure of it…at least, she was hoping it would be that easy…but a little voice in the back of her mind reminded her that Jim didn't always make things easy.

A knot formed in her stomach; why did she feel like a dark cloud had descended upon their relationship?


On Wednesday evening, nearly a week after the teasing at the bar had gone awry, Johanna stood in her kitchen squeezing her forehead as she felt a headache form above her eyes. Jim was picking yet another fight…in fact he had picked so many that she had lost count of exactly how many it had been but it seemed to be his favorite new pastime and she was growing weary of it. It seemed like every day since that Friday night incident he found a reason to provoke an argument…and if he couldn't find a reason, he'd purposely misconstrue even the most innocent comments she'd make. It almost seemed like he wanted things to implode between them. Nothing she said or did seemed to matter or make a difference.

She had apologized profusely; swore to him that marriage wasn't on her mind. He refused to admit that the comments from the bar were the problem, but she knew it was. Every thing was fine until then and now their relationship was in shambles. She wasn't even sure why he came home with her that evening, it was obvious that he didn't want to be there; all he had done was complain because she didn't feel like going out that night. It had been a long day and her patience had been stretched thin. She wasn't in any mood to go out and deal with humanity nor did she feel like battling Jim.

"Jim, can we just talk about what's bothering you?" Johanna asked. "Because these fights you've been picking are getting old."

"I'm not picking fights," he proclaimed; although they both knew he was. "I just don't know why I have to sit around because it's what you want to do."

"You don't have to sit here," she retorted. "You can go out if you want; I'm not stopping you."

Jim scoffed. "You might not be stopping me but you'd be pissed. You just want to stay home and play house."

"I do not! I want to stay home because I'm tired and don't want to deal with people anymore today."

"You want to play house now that you're done playing career woman for the day," he remarked. "I'm not stupid and I'm not playing."

Johanna rolled her eyes. "I'm not trying to play house. All I was trying to do was the same thing we always do on Wednesdays, have dinner at home and spend the evening relaxing. I didn't realize that was such a criminal act to commit…I also didn't realize that the necessity of preparing a meal constituted as playing house, which I'm not. I've already told you a hundred times that I'm not trying to lure you into marriage."

"It's not about that!"

"Then what is it?" she asked. "It has to be something."

"It's about how everything always has to be your way," Jim retorted.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "What are you talking about? We do plenty of things that you pick for us to do."

He scoffed and she sighed deeply, resigning herself to an evening in a loud barroom to prove to him that what he was saying wasn't true. "Alright, Jim; let me change clothes and we'll go out."

"Forget it," he said sharply. "I don't want to go and I wasn't just talking about the things we do, I was talking about everything."

"How can you say that?" she asked. "Where is this coming from?"

"Maybe you ought to think about it," Jim retorted. "You might find out that it's true."

"I'm still not hearing examples of how I apparently hold a gun to your head and force you to do things you don't want," Johanna stated, a flicker of anger springing to life within her.

"Everything about us is an example!"

Johanna glanced away from him for a moment, a sinking feeling settling into her stomach again. It was seeming more and more like he was looking for a way out of their relationship, she thought to herself. Maybe the newness had worn off and he had decided that she wasn't what he wanted after all…but still, maybe they could work something out. If it was something she could change, she would try. "If you really feel that way, then let's sit down and talk about it and work through it. If there's something that I need to work on, tell me and I'll do my best to improve."

"I don't want to talk," he said tartly as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I just want you to know that you're not the only one who gets to make decisions. I'll make my own decisions."

"Who said you can't?"

"You know how you are."

She sighed; continuing this line of discussion was just going to send them around in circles and add to the problem. Maybe he really did want out. The thought stung her and sent a pang skittering across her heart but she'd make the offer to set him free.

"Jim, if you're not happy and you want out of this relationship that badly, you know where the door is. I won't try to stop you if it's what you want."

A tense silence fell between them as they stared at each other for a long moment. Finally, Jim dropped his gaze from hers and moved toward her.

A measure of relief filled her as he neared. Maybe he was just in a bad mood and was using her to take it out on; maybe the offer of his freedom had brought back the man she knew him to be and he'd say he was sorry and they'd settle down and enjoy their evening together.

Jim brushed a soft kiss against her lips. "I don't think this is working out, Johanna," he said quietly.

Her heart skipped a beat, her eyes glued to him as her stomach clenched. This couldn't be happening.

"We tried," he went on; "But it just isn't working out between us. I'm sorry."

Jim turned away from her and she felt as though time was moving in some odd slow motion format. "Jim," she whispered.

"It's not working, Johanna," he said firmly. "We both know it. You said you wouldn't try to stop me."

She pressed her lips together, not wanting to believe that this was happening…but it was. He cast one last glance at her and then left the kitchen. She remained rooted in place, feeling numb as she heard the door slam close behind him. It was over…the best thing she ever had and it was over. She should run after him, beg him to come back and talk…but her feet didn't move. She wouldn't beg, that was beneath her…she wouldn't force any man to be with her. He wanted out, she set him fee. There was a heaviness in her soul and yet she felt numb as she turned back to the stove and began to prepare dinner for one now instead of two. There should be tears, she thought to herself through the haze of swirling thoughts that was circling through her brain and yet her eyes remained dry.

Johanna went through the motions of cooking her meal without much thought. How had her life gone so wrong so quickly…and over something so completely stupid as a joke? They had joked about marriage before…why was it a big deal now? Why was he suddenly making such harsh accusations against her? Grease popped in the skillet, burning her hand as she turned the bacon she intended to use for her sandwich. She jerked her hand back and hurriedly stepped to the sink to run cold water over the. Tears pushed to the surface and she began to sob as if someone had cut her hand off instead of being burned by a small splatter of grease.

She knew it wasn't the burn that she was really crying about; it was Jim. The numbness and shock of the moment had receded, the pop of grease from the skillet jolting her back to reality as her skin blistered with the same pain that was working its way across her heart. She turned off the burner and moved to the table, sitting down and lowering her head to the surface as she continued to sob. She loved him so much…and now he was gone; the accusations clearly pointing at her as the cause. It was always her. Always her fault, always her loss. Her heart had been broken before…but she wasn't sure she'd bounce back easily from this one…not when she loved Jim in a way she had never loved anyone else.


When Jim got home, he changed clothes and then headed for the kitchen. He pulled the bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and poured himself a drink. He had expected to feel relieved once he had his freedom back…but instead, he felt somewhat empty. Jim took a long sip of his drink, enjoying the burn in his throat as the whiskey hit it. It was better this way, Johanna wanted things he wasn't sure he could give her at the moment. He'd spent a lot of time thinking about it…about what to do…and all his brain kept doing was screaming at him to keep his distance from her, to back off. Things had gotten so very serious so quickly. He just needed things to slow down…although now that he had called the whole thing off, things had ground to a halt. But it was best that way, he reminded himself as he took another drink. This way there weren't any surprise demands, no playing house, no worries.

But there was that emptiness.

He took another drink. It would pass in time…wouldn't it? A heavy breath crossed his lips as he cradled the glass in his hands. Should he really miss her already? Was he that whipped? If so, maybe it was a good thing that he had ended things. He didn't want to turn into one of those men who asked how high when a woman said jump…or said I do because a demand of marriage had been made. No, that wasn't for him, it was better to be done now before it got out of control…but that didn't necessary mean it had to be permanent. Maybe somewhere down the road when she had fully gotten the idea that he would make the decisions about when or if they got married, they could work something out…unless she decided to be done with him for good this time. Jim raised the glass to his lips, another sip of whisky washing over his tongue. If she was desperate for wedding bells she'd move on.

The glass emptied and he poured another drink. It was best that things were over. It was better to have his freedom than to be prematurely married. He didn't like hurting her but she'd be alright; she always was…but still, he didn't feel as good as he thought he would. Jim downed his drink. It seemed like everything in life was a double edged sword…why hadn't his father ever informed him of that since he was so inclined to dish out advice? He sighed and thought about filling his glass again but then remembered that he had to work in the morning. He sat his glass down on the counter and moved into the living room. He settled down on the sofa and flipped on the TV; still telling himself that ending things had been the right thing to do. But he couldn't help but think that if it had been so right, why was he having to convince himself so much?

Jim shook his thoughts away; it was just going to take time to get used to things...but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't turn his thoughts away from their new reality. He hadn't gone into the evening intending to end things…he hadn't even intended to argue with her…but then again, he'd been arguing with her for days for every little thing that came up. He hadn't realized that he wanted his freedom until she offered it…and he was sure he wouldn't ever forget the look that had been on her face when he told her that it wasn't working out. Her offer had apparently been an empty one; meant only to serve as a reset for their relationship and to put an end to the petty fighting they had been engaged in for almost a week…but taking her up on it had stunned her. It wasn't something he was proud of; he wished it didn't have to be this way…but Johanna had to be shown that she didn't get her own way all the time.

And maybe he needed to figure some things out too…not that that was very appealing. Jim exhaled a heavy breath; life always went so wrong when you least expected it.


"Are you going to be alright?" Colleen asked as she sat beside Johanna on the sofa.

"I don't really have any choice but to be alright," she sniffed as she dabbed away more tears with a tissue. Her sister had called a half hour after Jim had left, asking if she could visit while her husband was at some business dinner she didn't want to go to. Johanna had still been in the midst of crying, and her sister had surprised her by saying that she was coming whether she wanted her to or not.

She was glad that Colleen had came; sinking into the comforting embrace of her sister had been soothing…and she couldn't help but think that it spoke of the healing between them after the rocky year they'd had. Her sister had listened sympathetically and had been a willing shoulder to cry on…she had missed this side of her.

Colleen squeezed her hand. "Maybe it's just one of those things were a man needs a little break to go check and see if there's anything else out there and then he comes back when he realizes that he already found the best."

Johanna managed a small smile. "I guess I can hope so."

"Of course you can," she told her. "It does happen; you know it, I know it…every woman in the universe knows it."

Johanna nodded. "I know…it was just so sudden and over something so stupid, even if he won't admit it. I know it's my fault for playing along with the teasing…but I feel like it's not just my fault…it's also the fault of the people who started that teasing."

"You're right, it is partly their fault; they should've kept their mouths shut."

A shuddering breath wracked her frame. "It has to be something more than just a stupid joke," she murmured. "I've been trying for days to get him to talk to me every time he picks a fight. I know we could work whatever it is out if he'd just tell me what's wrong…if he'd just admit that this played a role in it. Everything was fine until that night…I felt like we were doing so good…that we were settling into things, being very comfortable. We just went on vacation a few weeks ago and we had such a good time…I felt like we were closer than ever…that this transition from friends to dating was really working out, that it was going to be long term, you know?"

Colleen gave a nod. "I know what you mean…and maybe that's what he's afraid of, it's long term and he's antsy about it. You know how men are; they get afraid they might miss something on the other side of the fence if they get too serious with one person. Give him a few days to sniff around, he'll be back."

"I hope he comes back," she cried; a fresh batch of tears surging to the surface. "I love him."

"I know you do."

"Don't tell Mom," Johanna pleaded as she tried to stop crying. "I don't want her to know yet…I mean it's not that I think she wouldn't be sympathetic or supportive, it's just…"

"I know what you mean," her sister said softly; "And besides, there's no reason to tell her just yet, he might come back. It'll be our little secret until you're ready to tell her."

"Thank you…I don't want Dad knowing yet either…you know what he'd say…and I'm more than capable of depressing myself without his help."

"Oh believe me, I know…you're not the only one he's capable of depressing, but you know that," Colleen said and then she gave a soft scoff. "If he only knew half the things that have gone on in our lives."

Johanna scoffed as well. "He doesn't want to know."

"That's the truth."

"Why didn't you want to go with Paul tonight?" she asked.

"Because it's always boring," her sister replied. "I don't have anything in common with the wives of his business associates and he's already dragged me to three dinners last week. I told him to tell them I'm sick…because I am, I'm sick of being bored to death at those stupid business dinners."

Johanna managed a small smile. "Wall Street does seem like dry conversation."

"Oh yeah, it is," Colleen remarked. "Believe me…sometimes he's telling me about his day and I have no clue what he's talking about because I don't understand all the mumbo jumbo and I just kind of drift for a minute. I guess I've learned to nod in the right places and to pick up the keywords when the topic changes."

She laughed softly. "Is the honeymoon over?"

Her sister shrugged. "I wouldn't say it's completely over…but it's lost some of its glow."

"I guess that's to be expected when you come down from the high of the first year."

"Yeah; I guess so," Colleen muttered. "I guess that's one of the things Mom forgot to inform us about."

Johanna gave a laugh. "I have a feeling no one informed her either or she wouldn't have married Dad."

Colleen nodded. "True."

She sighed and gripped her sister's hand tightly. "I'm glad you came."

Colleen smiled. "Me too…that's what sisters are for, right?"

"That's what my handbook says," she said lightly.

"Well then, we better abide by the handbook."

"We do our best," Johanna replied. "But I guess sometimes we fall down on the job."

"Yeah, I guess sometimes we do…but we always get through it…don't we?"

She nodded. "Of course…you're my baby sister, I'm always going to love you…and I'm always going to want you around…and when we blow it, I'm always going to forgive you."

Tears suddenly glittered in Colleen's eyes as she wrapped her sister in a hug. "You'll really always forgive me?"

"Always," Johanna said as she hugged her tightly. "I hope you'll always forgive me too for my less than stellar moments."

"Always," her sister repeated. "Although you seem to dodge those moments pretty well."

"Jim would probably beg to differ."

"Well he doesn't count; I hope he's home working on dodging his jackass moments."

The comment made her laugh. "Me too…but God only knows what he's hoping I'm working on."

"Don't worry; it'll be okay."

Johanna nodded as a knock sounded at the door. "That's probably Paul," Colleen remarked.

Johanna rose from the sofa and answered the door, hoping that maybe it would be Jim standing on the other side with a change of heart but it was her brother-in-law as predicted. They exchanged their always strained greetings as Colleen finished off her glass of wine, slipped her shoes back on and grabbed her purse from the coffee table.

She hugged Johanna once again as she moved to the door. "I love you, sissy."

"I love you too."

"If you need me, call," Colleen told her.

"I will," she promised.

"Don't worry; no matter what happens, it'll be alright eventually."

Johanna gave her a wobbly smile and a murmur of agreement before they said goodnight. She locked the door behind them and leaned back against it, feeling loneliness setting in now that her sister had gone. Another burst of emotion was making her throat feel tight and she forced her feet to carry her back across the room to where her wine glass sat. She picked it up and finished off the contents. It was going to be a long night…and an even longer few days with this hanging over her. She sighed deeply; there wouldn't be any sleep tonight.


Morning came entirely too soon and too early for Johanna. She had spent a significant amount of the night crying, leaving her eyes red, tired and sore. The evidence of her lack of sleep was making itself known loud and clear from the second she got out of bed and promptly hit her knee on the nightstand. She tripped on the way to the bathroom, burned herself with the curling iron and dropped egg shells into the skillet. She topped off her morning by spilling her orange juice and having to change her skirt. Her day was already a disaster and her mood was foul…and she hadn't even made it to work yet.

She thought briefly of calling in sick but then disregarded the notion when she recalled that she had to be in court that day…and to make matters worse, she had to be in court with Jim. Johanna squeezed her eyes shut, forcing back emotion as her chin quivered at the thought of having to set next to him. It was too soon; she wasn't ready to see him or be that near. It would hurt too much…it would probably take a toll on her concentration and that was the last thing she needed. She could just imagine the way he would snub her while sitting beside her and the thought of it sent a stream of English and Italian curse words pouring from her lips. For a moment she feared she was turning into her grandmother with the need to cuss in two languages but then she decided that it wasn't such a bad thing if some part of her was taking on Sophia's traits.

Finally, Johanna got herself ready to head out the door for the walk to work that awaited her. She could call a cab but she didn't feel like being in a car with a stranger. It was better to walk; it might clear her head and bring back her focus for work. It might eat up some of her hurt and anger…but she doubted it. It was going to be a long day; her heart was still bleeding from the wound he had inflicted. She felt a multitude of feelings as she locked her door; disappointment, anger, bitterness, sadness, loss, hurt, self loathing; the list seemed to go on and on. Her whole life had crumbled because of her big mouthed friends. If they hadn't made their stupid jokes she wouldn't have had anything to play along with and then Jim wouldn't have headed for the hills.

She blew out a frustrated breath as she roughly stabbed the button for the elevator. She just had to blow it. She always did…but this time she had help…and she was never not going to assign some portion of the blame to them.


"What's wrong?" Sharon asked as she stood in front of Johanna's desk.

"Nothing," she replied softly while she unpacked her briefcase.

"Don't give me that; I can tell you've been crying; your eyes are red."

"I'm getting a cold."

"It must've come on awful sudden; you were perfectly healthy yesterday afternoon."

"Yeah well, they usually do appear suddenly."

Sharon eyed her. "You're not sick; you're lying."

"I'm pretty sure you have work to do."

"Jo…tell me what's wrong. Did something happen? Is everyone alright?"

"Everyone I know is fine," she remarked.

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said sharply. She really didn't want to discuss it; it all felt too raw but Sharon didn't seem to be taking the hint as she was still standing there, her gaze boring into her.

"Did you and Jim have a fight?"

"Better," she said tartly; figuring there was no getting out of it as she slammed down the last stack of files from her briefcase. "We broke up. Can we drop the subject now?"

Surprise flicked across Sharon's features. "What do you mean you broke up?"

"Just what it sounds like, Sharon. One minute we were together and then next we weren't. We broke up. It's over."

"Why?"

"Because that's how life is," she replied bitterly. "You know my relationships don't last long…the only thing that expires faster than my relationships is a gallon of milk."

Sharon chose her words carefully; sensing the rawness of the wound on her friend's heart. "What reason did he give?"

Johanna huffed in annoyance. "He said things weren't working out; he didn't get specific with the details but I know the real reason. He never wanted this in the first place…but things started changing last weekend at the bar when you all had to make your jokes about being married. By the time he dropped me off at my door that evening, everything was different. I have a feeling that those stupid jokes convinced him that I was now pressuring him for marriage, which I told him I'm not but apparently he doesn't believe it. So because all of you can't keep your mouths shut and I was stupid enough to play along with one idiotic comment, I've lost him. But hey, that's fine; I should've known that it would come to this. I pushed him into dating me when he didn't want to and now you all have helped convince him that I'm looking for a diamond to pop up before the month is out. I can't thank you all enough."

The secretary eyed her. "So let me get this straight; Jim has cold feet and you're blaming all of us who were at the bar with you that night all because we made a few little jokes suggesting that you two get married."

Johanna nodded. "In a nut shell, yes."

Sharon gave a short laugh. "Um, you were the one who mentioned rings at Tiffany's."

"Yeah I know!" she exclaimed; "And I never would have if all of you hadn't started it!"

"You two have joked about being married before; hell you told me you signed into hotels as a married couple."

"Yes, but it was his idea! He doesn't like things that aren't his idea when it comes to relationships. Haven't you picked up on that yet? Did the entire month of May teach you nothing?"

"Jo; you're being ridiculous. If you want to blame someone, blame Jim or blame yourself. Don't blame us. You've done your share of teasing."

"No harm came from mine," she retorted. "No one dumped you because of it. You didn't have to go through what I had to go through to get a man."

"And I guess that's my fault too?" Sharon asked. "Maybe if you hadn't been so straight-laced he would've came around sooner but you know, you had issues to get through…like that desperate need to know you're loved before you allow a man any deep intimacy with you."

The remark stung but she didn't flinch. "Well maybe I just have more respect for myself than some people. Go do your damn work and let me alone."

"No; you've done pissed me off," her friend retorted. "I'm not taking the blame for what happened between you and Jim. Maybe it's just not meant to be, did you ever think about that?"

Johanna's stare was icy; her jaw tight. "Yeah I think about it, I've been thinking about it all night; and on the brief moments when I wasn't thinking about it, I was thinking about how I have to sit next to him in a courtroom for the next several days and pretend like nothing in the world is wrong. I think about a lot of things, Sharon...like I spend a substantial amount of time thinking about how stupid I am. Now if you don't mind, I want to do my work and I suggest you go do yours."

"Oh I am," Sharon replied; "And I'll be sure only to bother you for work related issues. In fact, I'll even shut the door so we can't talk to each other."

"Please do," Johanna replied.

The secretary swept out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Johanna sighed and dropped into her chair. She didn't care what anyone said; they were partly to blame…and maybe it was petty to bring it up, but all she could think about was how much she hurt and the hole in her heart. If they hadn't been teasing them, it never would've happened.


An hour before she was due in court, Johanna made a trip to the break room to get a drink. The usual gang was assembled, minus Jim; who she knew was already at the courthouse on a different case. She didn't say anything to anyone, merely made her way to the fridge and grabbed a soda.

"Hey, Sassy," Jeff called out. "Why are you so quiet?"

"Just not feeling chatty today," she replied as she crossed the room to leave.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked; puzzlement in his eyes.

"Fabulous as always," Johanna remarked; sarcasm dripping from her tone as she left the room.

"What's with her?" Jeff asked as he caught Sharon's eye.

"Don't you know?"

He shook his head. "Apparently not."

The secretary sighed. "She and Jim broke up last night and she's blaming all of us for it."

"What?" Jeff exclaimed; along with Phil and Maggie.

She nodded. "Yeah; it's all our fault because we teased them and said they should get married. Jim told her things aren't working out and they split up."

"That's ridiculous," Phil retorted. "If things weren't working out, it's their fault not ours. She just likes to have someone to blame her problems on instead of blaming herself."

"I feel so bad," Maggie remarked. "Maybe we shouldn't have teased them like that; look at how resistant he was to make the change from friends to dating."

"Oh come on," Phil retorted; "You're not really going to take part of the blame for their issues are you?"

She narrowed her blue eyes at the man. "What of it? We did tease them about how they were acting and Jim didn't seem amused…in fact, he didn't even as so much as touch her for the rest of the evening. Maybe we are part of the blame. Maybe we made it seem like they were moving too fast or something."

"No we didn't," Phil stated. "We didn't do anything to them they haven't done to us. What it comes down to is this, Jim doesn't want to be in a long term relationship and Johanna needs to give it up and move on."

Jeff shook his head. "He seemed fine being a relationship until Friday night; maybe Maggie's right. Maybe we did play a role in it."

"I'm not taking the blame," Sharon replied. "If Jim can't take a joke that's not my problem. He needs to put on his big boy pants and deal with it. If he changed his mind about being with her than he should just say so."

"I'm going to go talk to her," Maggie said as she pushed away from the counter.

"Good luck," Sharon told her. "She hasn't spoken to me all morning."

"With your attitude I'm not surprised," Maggie retorted as she left the room and made her way down the hallway to Johanna's office.

"Jo?" Maggie said softly as she poked her head in the door of the inner office.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?"

"I guess so," Johanna replied as she shoved her notepad into her briefcase in anticipation of heading to court.

"Jo, I'm so sorry," Maggie stated as she moved toward her and pulled her into a hug. "If what happened Friday night had something to do with you two breaking up, I apologize because I never wanted anything like that to happen."

"It's my fault," Johanna muttered as she hugged her friend tightly. "I went along with it…and God only knows what else I did wrong to make that the last straw."

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"Maybe I did; I convinced him to give us a try and he didn't really want to…the marriage teasing just iced the cake. He didn't say it but I know he's thinking that I was looking to drag him to the altar."

"Oh honey," her friend breathed as she hugged her a little tighter. "Maybe this was just a knee jerk reaction; give him a few days and maybe he'll come around and want to talk it over."

"I hope he will but I'm not so sure…and if he doesn't I'm going to have to let it lie because pushing the issue might just make him feel like he's right," Johanna sniffed.

Maggie released her from the hug and gave her a sympathetic look. "I'd tell you not to worry but I know you will…but hopefully this is just a temporary thing; and I am sorry that we were all teasing you. Jim did start acting differently that night after all of that."

Johanna brushed a rebellious tear from her cheek. "You know, I thought I hurt as badly as I could hurt back in May when things were so terrible between us…and yet I think I might hurt even worse right now."

"Of course you do; how could you not? You love him and you were working so hard to do things right and it got away from you because of a stupid night in a bar. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I wish you could take my place on this case," she said as she picked up a file and put it in her briefcase. "I'm on it with Jim…I'm on my way to court to sit next to him for the rest of the day…and all next week."

"Oh God," Maggie muttered. "I don't envy you that. If I could take your place I would. Just do your best; focus on everything but him…and I know that's easier said than done when you're hurting."

She nodded; "I'll do my best. I should probably get going, I need to get a cab and I don't want to be late."

"Good luck," Maggie told her. "Call me when you get back, we'll go out for a drink after work."

"I will," Johanna promised as she double checked the contents of her briefcase and then grabbed her purse and headed for the door. "By the time this day is over, I'll probably be in desperate need of a drink."


Jim sat in the courtroom cursing his bad timing as he waited for Johanna to arrive. If they had to break up, he should've waited until after this case was finished. This was an added torment neither one of them needed. He glanced at his watch, a brief thought flicking through his mind that maybe she wasn't going to show up but he knew better; Johanna wouldn't allow her personal life to interfere with being a professional.

"Where is your colleague?" their client asked gruffly. "This hearing is going to start in a few minutes and I won't stand for someone's tardiness making me look bad."

Jim suppressed a sigh; he couldn't wait to get Mr. Collins out of his life. "She'll be here," he stated.

Mr. Collins scoffed. "A damn woman; they're never on time and they have no business handling such important matters."

Jim's jaw tightened. "I assure you that my colleague is a professional and knows how to do her job. You're not the only client we have, sometimes other business matters delay us. She'll be here and I advise you to drop your attitude or it'll be your incompetence that will sink this case."

Collins glared at him but fell silent. A moment later, Johanna hurried into the courtroom and took her place at the table, avoiding eye contact with Jim just as much as he was avoiding looking at her.

"Where have you been?" Collins practically growled.

"Stuck in traffic," she retorted, her frustration leaking through in her tone.

"Maybe if you knew how to be on time you wouldn't have that problem. Women have no business being in this line of work when money is at stake. You ought to do what women are meant to do, find a husband and stay home."

She saw Jim tense from the corner of her eye and her patience stretched to its breaking point as she eyed the jerk she was forced to work for. "I don't control traffic, jackass. I'm terribly sorry that an accident where people got hurt delayed me a few minutes. As for what women should do, I've never been good at following that handbook and with all I've seen of men, you couldn't pay me enough to get married."

"Oh you're one of those man haters," Collins replied. "I should've known; most career women are."

"Shut your mouth," Jim warned him. "Or you'll be defending yourself today."

Their client smirked. "What's the matter, are you sweet on her? It's probably a lost cause if you are. Women like her like to wear the pants in the relationship."

It felt like a true statement but it angered Jim all the same. "Collins, I'm warning you," he said firmly. "Keep your mouth shut."

He smirked once more but kept his mouth shut. Johanna's gaze flicked to Jim's for a moment, the tension radiating between them. It was going to be more than just a long day...it was going to be a special brand of hellish torment.


The Crystal Star was a quieter, classier more upscale bar that appealed to Johanna and Maggie for their after work drink. It also wasn't one of the usual hangouts for the members of the law firm…and they felt the chances of running into anyone they knew were relatively low. They had been lucky enough to grab the two stools at the far end of the bar, allowing them a bit of privacy as they settled on the plush seats and ordered their margaritas.

"I guess we shouldn't be surprised that Sharon didn't want to join us," Maggie commented once her drink had been placed in front of her. "We both seem to be on her bad side today."

"It doesn't take much to get on her bad side lately," Johanna replied. "At the moment I don't care if she's mad or not, I'm entitled to my opinion; and in my opinion, the jokes and teasing are what caused Jim to head for the hills. If she wants to be mad because I said so, so be it; I guess that means there will be less midnight and later phone calls about her wedding planning worries for awhile."

"She calls you at midnight about the wedding?" Maggie asked.

Johanna nodded. "Except for on Wednesdays, she knows Jim always stays with me on Wednesdays…or did…I guess he doesn't anymore."

Her friend gave her a sympathetic smile. "We didn't really get into all the details because we were at work, do you want to tell me what all happened that led to this?"

Johanna explained everything that had happened since the evening at the bar, Jim's distance, the lack of affection, his new habit of picking fights and the final argument where he said things weren't working out. "So, here we are," she said sadly once she had finished. "Not even a full three months and it's over."

Maggie patted her hand. "He'll come back."

She took a sip of her drink. "What if he doesn't?"

Her friend frowned. "Then after a period of mourning, you'll get back out there. I've got some cousins; I can always fix you up with one if the need arises."

Johanna sighed. "I don't want to think about it. I just want to wake up tomorrow and have this all be a bad dream and that it didn't really happen."

"I know…I'm sorry that it came to this. I know you love him…and despite whatever is going on in his head, he loves you."

She gave a slight nod. "I keep wanting to go to him and make him talk to me…make him listen…but I feel like I can't; not when he obviously thinks I'm pressuring him to get married, which I'm not, but I can't seem to convince him otherwise."

"He's a hardheaded man," Maggie stated. "Of course they all are at one point or another. You ought to see the fit Jeff throws when my mother invites us over for dinner. But when it's time to go to his mother's, I better be waiting at the door, shoes on, purse in hand no excuses, Mama's waiting, let's go."

Johanna laughed softly. "He is devoted to his mother."

"I know and I adore him for it, I just sometimes wish it was a two-way street, but it's not, there's always a bit of an argument and that stubbornness rears its head."

"And they think we're bad," she quipped. "It's a shame were the ones punished by their tendency to be hardheaded."

"Amen to that," Maggie replied. "Maybe once Jim has a few days to miss you and he and Jeff discuss it a few times, because you know they're going to, he'll come back around and things will be fine."

She wasn't so sure of that as she rubbed her fingers across her forehead and then picked up her drink for a long sip. "I guess maybe I shouldn't be surprised that it came to this."

"Why?"

"Because he never really wanted this; he didn't want a real, committed relationship. He wanted a no strings, friends with benefits type of deal…this wasn't what he wanted. He tried…he tried for me, but I guess the newness has worn off and it's made him remember that he doesn't want it."

Maggie wished she could say that wasn't a possibility but it was and she wouldn't insult her intelligence by saying otherwise. "Well, as much as it hurts, if that's the way he feels about it, then maybe you're better off. Maybe it's best if it ends now before it gets any further."

Johanna gave a slight nod. "I fought for him a few months ago…I want to fight for him now but I feel like I'll only end up making it worse. I feel like this time…even though it rips my heart out, I'm going to have to let him go."

Her friend gave her hand a gentle pat. "Maybe that's what's needed, Jo; maybe you have to let him go, show him that you won't try to hold him…maybe knowing that you set him free will somehow make him realize the reality of things and he'll come back."

"I hope he comes back," Johanna murmured. "But if he doesn't…I just hate feeling like I can't try to do something to fix this but I kept trying to fix it before we broke up so clearly I can't."

"That's because the problem is in his head and he has to be the one to fix that; you can't get in there and do it for him. Believe me, I wish we could go into their brains and fix a few glitches when they occur, but you can't sweetie, you just have to let him have his freedom and see if he comes back. He might come back in a few days, might be a few weeks or even months."

"Or never," she whispered as she did her best to keep the tears at bay. "I guess I should've left things the way they were."

"Would you have been happy with a no strings affair like that?"

Johanna was quiet as she sipped her drink. "No; I wouldn't have been happy for long."

"Then you did the right thing," Maggie told her.

"Maybe he feels the same way about committed relationships; he's not happy for long. What if this whole thing was just an excuse to get out of our relationship? I mean if he wanted out, he could've just told me, we didn't have to go through all of this. It hurts regardless but I wouldn't have tried to force him to stay."

"I don't think he wanted out until the marriage idea got stuck in his head," Maggie replied as she picked up her glass to take a drink. "He was being very loving and affectionate with you until that moment crept up."

Johanna sighed deeply. "I guess there's no sense in analyzing it further; there's nothing to do about it right now, except suffer until I get over it…and God only knows how long that will take."

"Don't give up hope."

"I'm not, but I'm going to be prepared for the worst too."

Maggie nodded. "Good idea. How did it go in court with him?"

"We avoided eye contact a lot…spoke only when necessary. It was awkward and our client is a woman hating pain in the ass so there were his comments to put up with along with the way things are with Jim. When we finished for the day, he left as quickly as he could, I guess he was afraid he might have to share the elevator with me. We're back tomorrow…and all of next week unless something happens to end this case sooner and that's highly unlikely."

"I guess it's going to be one of those grin and bear it situations," Maggie replied. "The worst kind in this scenario."

"Yeah…it's not easy, that's for sure. It's too soon to have to be so close, you know what I mean?"

The other woman nodded. "Yeah; I know…if it was me and Jeff, I'd be in the bathroom crying every time they called a recess."

Johanna gave her a wobbly smile. "I cried in the cab on the way back to the office."

Sympathy and understanding shone in Maggie's eyes. "I'm always here if you need a shoulder to cry on, sometimes a cab ride isn't enough."

A tear slid down her cheek. "I appreciate that, Maggie…and I'm sure I'll be taking you up on that offer."


"Do you want to talk about it?" Jeff asked as he and Jim sat at a table at their favorite bar, cold beers in hand.

"Talk about what?"

"About you and Jo."

Jim shook his head. "No, not really."

Jeff sighed. "Listen, if we went too far with the teasing the other night, I'm sorry. We didn't mean any harm and we sure didn't expect you to dump Johanna because of it. It seemed like an extreme measure to take."

Jim swallowed a sip of beer. "Sometimes that's the only measure to take when a woman is hearing premature wedding bells."

"What makes you think she's hearing wedding bells?"

"You heard her, she's already ring shopping."

Jeff chuckled. "She was just playing, she didn't mean it."

"I'm not so sure about that; she's talking about rings, she has wedding magazines in her apartment…"

"They're Sharon's," his friend interrupted. "You know the girls have been having wedding planning pow wows over at Jo's the last few weeks. She's the maid of honor; she has to be involved in this stuff."

"What if being the maid of honor has given her ideas about having her own wedding; maybe she's planning it while she helps Sharon with hers."

"Now you're just being ridiculous. The only wedding Jo is thinking about is Sharon's and you know it."

"I don't know it at all. She does seem to like to play house. She's got stuff at my place, she always wants to cook, she cleans up things…it's all very housewifey."

Jeff swallowed his beer. "Wait a minute, back the truck up; if I remember correctly, you were the one who told her to leave stuff at your apartment…"

"When I started that, it was a little space in the closet, a drawer in the dresser and a drawer in the bathroom. She's moved up to two drawers in the dresser, more clothes crammed in her space of the closet and she's always yelling that she needs a hairdryer there."

"She's a woman, women have a lot of junk; I don't understand it but they do and you gave her free rein to move her stuff in just like I gave Maggie free rein to move her lady things into my place. As for the cooking, you love it and always want her to cook…and most likely you've got her doing the grocery shopping on the weekends or else she wouldn't have much to cook with and I highly doubt you really mind her cleaning up the apartment. Let's also not forget that you have stuff at her place."

"I only stay one night a week; she stays with me Friday night through Sunday afternoon."

"Because that's what you wanted if I recall," Jeff replied. "You wanted her at your place on the weekends and you spend time at hers through the week."

"Yes; and when I spend Wednesdays there, she always wants to stay home and cook dinner and be very domesticated."

"That wasn't a problem up until now and I'm pretty sure you've mentioned times when you and Jo have gone out during the week if there was something you wanted to do. You always said you liked spending Wednesday nights with her, that you liked the mid-week relaxation that came with being home with her."

He did, Jim thought to himself; he liked it a great deal…maybe a little too much…there were times when he wished that they were home together every night instead of just a few nights a week. He did like her cooking; the grocery shopping trips they took together, the way she kept things nice and tidy…and folded the basket of clean clothes he always had sitting around. He loved her company, loved that she filled the space in his bed…loved falling asleep and waking up with her. Regret welled up within him but he shoved it down. Those things were no reason to rush…after all, hadn't they been pieces of evidence about why it was a good idea to end things? He couldn't have it both ways.

"If you wanted some extra space, you could've told her that you wanted her to stay with you every other weekend and you'd skip a few Wednesdays," Jeff suggested.

He frowned; he didn't necessarily want to skip weekends…although now they'd be skipping every day of the week. "It's best just to get out of this now before it becomes a big mess."

"How's it going to become a big mess?"

"When she demands a ring on her finger; just like she demanded everything else," Jim stated.

Jeff chose his words carefully. "What exactly did she demand?"

"You know what she demanded."

"She demanded a commitment before you two crossed the big line?"

Jim nodded as he took a drink of beer. "She demanded, I gave in…pretty soon she'll be demanding a ring and I'll have to give in to that too and I'm not sure I'm ready to be tied down for the rest of my life…and after that there would be a demand for babies and I sure as hell don't want that right now."

Jeff eyed him. "This has to be about something more than a joke that went awry, because to my knowledge, Johanna hasn't demanded marriage and babies from you. I'm pretty sure you would've told me if she had. You were happy these last few months; things seemed to be going well. What's the big picture here, Jim?"

"I just told you; she's wants things I'm not sure I do right now."

"Jo's not an unreasonable woman; I'm sure you could've told her that marriage wasn't in the cards for now and she wouldn't have said anything about it."

"You know how women are about marriage; they never get the idea out of their head; especially when their sisters and friends are getting married."

Jeff took a drink of his beer. "Is there a reason why you don't want to think about marrying her some day?"

Jim glanced at him. "Is there a reason why you haven't proposed to Maggie yet?"

"Yeah; I don't think it's the right time; and if she asked, I'd tell her the same thing."

"Why is it alright for you not to be ready but not for me?" he asked.

"I never said that," Jeff replied. "It's fine that you're not ready…I'm just trying to figure out why you had such a strong reaction about it."

"Because I'm sick of people trying to rush my life along. I just started dating her and already people are yelling for me to marry her. Even my own father keeps telling me to settle down and marry her. That's what I hate about relationships; there's always someone in your business. Maybe I'm not ready to get married; maybe I'm not sure she's the one. She's not perfect, you know?"

"Who is?" his friend asked.

"You know what I mean," Jim retorted. "She has a tendency to nag at times."

"Show me a woman who doesn't."

"She always wants things her way."

"Sounds like someone else I know," Jeff said wryly.

Jim ignored the barb. "She's clingy."

"You didn't seem to mind…in fact it seemed like you enjoyed it…you've been a bit 'clingy' with her as well, in my honest opinion."

Once again Jim ignored him. "My mother doesn't like her and she doesn't like my mother."

"Do they have to like each other?" his friend asked. "You never seemed to worry too much about it before."

"It would be nice if they got along," Jim remarked. "I get sick of hearing my mother run her mouth about Johanna and how she's so unsuited for me; and then if I let something slip to Jo, she has to make her comments, which admittedly, she's within her right to do, she doesn't do it unless provoked but still, it gets old. I had hoped that Jo and Madelyn could be friends but after the way they kept snipping at each other during our vacation, I know that's a lost cause. Madelyn now adds her two cents in with Mom when the topic is on the table."

"Who cares what Madelyn says or thinks; tell her to shut the hell up; you don't get along with her all the time either so really her opinion shouldn't matter…sounds like you're just looking for excuses, buddy."

Jim scoffed. "Holidays will be awkward when we get married; half the family seems to be against us and I haven't even met her father and the way she acts about it, I assume that when I do, it'll go badly."

"Okay, first; your mother and sister aren't half the family and they shouldn't get to have a say in who you spend your time with; you never let them get away with that before so I'm bothered by the fact that you seem to be letting them get into your head now and doubt something that was making you happy. Second, so what if you haven't met Jo's father yet; shouldn't that be a sign that she's not ready to get married? If she was ready to march done the aisle don't you think she'd take you home for a family dinner and see if you pass the father test? And third, you said 'when we get married'."

"I didn't say that!" Jim exclaimed.

"Yes you did, you said holidays will be awkward 'when we, get married'…if you're not thinking about marriage as a possibility here, why would you say when? Why not say 'if'? I think you have thought about marrying her."

"I'm not thinking about it," Jim remarked, but once in awhile the idea did cross his mind, although he always quickly shut it down.

"I think maybe you are…and you just haven't fully realized it until recently. Maybe that's why you're back peddling so fast."

"I'm not thinking about it, it's too soon for that!"

Jeff met his gaze. "Look, if some part of you has been thinking about marrying Jo, it's no big deal; it doesn't mean you have to do it this minute. All it means is that you can see her being with you in the long run. You don't need to feel like it's too soon to be thinking of it because it's not; I know that 'officially' you've only been dating for about three months but technically, you and Jo have known each other for three years…and you've been 'together' unofficially for at least half of that, so it's not too soon to be thinking those things. I think about marrying Maggie but that doesn't mean I'm running out to buy a ring tomorrow, because I'm not. It just means the idea comes around and it's okay…I mean, yeah, it's a little terrifying at first to think that this is the person you won't mind looking at every day for the rest of your life but trust me, it's okay. You don't have to do anything about it right now. I don't think she was hinting for marriage but if you feel like she is, just give it to her straight, say not right now."

That all made sense and was perfectly logical but he was still convinced that he had done the right thing. "I think it's best for us to have some space," Jim answered. "It's better to get out now before the demands start rolling in. It's gotten very serious very quickly."

"It was serious before you two became official."

He nodded. "And it's even more serious now and I just need to slow down."

Jeff sensed that he was talking to a brick wall. "Okay; if you feel like breaking up with Jo was the best thing to do, then I guess you were right to do that. If I played a role in that decision, I'm sorry. The last thing I ever wanted was for something to come between the two of you; I hate to see your relationship end over something so small, but it's your choice. We can't say you didn't give it a chance with her, you did…and I guess now you can move on…I hope you let her down gently; she's loves you and it's going to hurt enough as it is without a bad goodbye between you."

"I guess it wasn't too bad," he said gruffly, a hint of regret gnawing at him.

"I guess work is going to be awkward for awhile until things aren't so raw."

"Worse than just awkward; I'm sitting by her in court clear through next week."

Jeff cringed. "That's not the best post breakup scenario."

"I know…it's not easy; today felt like it dragged and I could tell how much she hated being there beside me…and I didn't blame her for it, I hated it too. I hate that things are uncomfortable now for this trial…but it's too late to do anything about it."

"I'm sorry its came to this."

Jim nodded; he was too in a lot of ways…he already missed her.

"Maybe you two can work things out somewhere down the road…you do still love her, don't you?"

"Of course I do," he replied. "That's not something I can just turn off in a matter of seconds."

Jeff nodded, knowing the topic had been pushed as far as Jim would allow for the night. "Then there's hope for a reconciliation but I'm going to shut up now before you get mad and dump me too."

Jim smirked at him. "I still could, you know."

His friend shrugged. "I know, but you won't…if you did, then who would tell you all the things you don't want to hear?"

"I thought that was my father's job."

"I fill in for him when he's not available," Jeff replied. "No charge."

Jim picked up his beer. "Consider your duties fulfilled and change the subject."

"Okay," his friend replied; "But if you want to talk about it…you know I'm always willing to listen."

"Yeah; I know," Jim answered; that twinge of regret still gnawing at him. He wasn't sure how he and Johanna were going to get through the case they were working on together…and to make matters worse, there were those moments when he wasn't sure he had done the right thing at all. He took another drink of his beer; if his mind was so indecisive then maybe Johanna was better off without him. His heart squeezed a little at that thought but he pushed through it. It was just going to take some time to adjust to things, he mused, the bottle returning to his lips as Jeff struck up another conversation. He hated adjustments…especially ones of his own making.

…to be continued

Authors Note: Part 2 will be ready soon; the majority of it is finished!