Eleanor

Fever I heard the word along with a few others like Pneumonia as well as testing. I was coughing so hard I couldn't stop gasping no matter how much oxygen they gave me it never seemed enough. I heard something about an infection. I felt my mum's hands stroking me as I drifted in and out of a state of conscious. I was moved back to the PCICU where I remained for three days. After three days I was being wheeled down for tests when I heard the running of little feet and a tiny voice calling my name. "Princess Eleanor!" "Brigit oh my god how are you?" "I'm good I'm just here for a tune up and than I can go home a few days at the most why are you here?" "I'm just here to entertain everyone" She giggled as I tickled her. "Where's your mummy Brigit?" "She's not here she had to go back home to take care of my brothers and sisters" "So your on your own?" "Yes Princess but I'm a big girl I'm okay" She clapped out laughing and squealing her energy was off the charts she was just so happy which just made me sadder. When did all my energy from youth and happiness go away? After the tests I was moved back to the normal unit but mum refused to allow me to go to bed she wheeled me to the activity room. I felt angry at her cursing her out but she didn't let anything stop her wheeling me to the piano where Brigit was trying to learn to play. She was adorable but so little. "How long have you been playing?" She jumped giggling as she threw her arms around me. "I haven't really I always wanted to take lessons but mummy says it's too expensive" "Well I'm no Mozart but I can play a little would you like me to teach you?" "Who's Moart?" I laughed softly it still hurt to laugh from where the tube was down my throat again. She was just so adorable trying to say his name. "Mozart was an amazing composer, do you know what a composer is?" "No I'm only this many" She held up five fingers I tickled them coughing hard. "Well a composer is someone who writes a music score and a music score is the notes you see here on this page that your playing from" "Was he good?" "Uh yea one of the best" "So he was like you cause you are the best princess" I was touched by her innocence she wasn't being trained to say this she wasn't scared of losing something she was just speaking from her heart. I started playing for her and slowly teaching her. She was careful studying each move I made each key humming out there sounds. Every day I taught her how to read music and which key was which starting with teaching her each note as an animal she was quick to learn that there were only seven notes repeated over and over. "The right hand plays high notes so we think of high how?" "Like an airplane flying high to it's own melody" Her voice rose like a valley girl squealing which made her laugh even harder. "Great Brigit now the left hand plays what?" "Low notes like a diver diving low into the ocean" She lowered her notes squinting her eyes making it even more funny. "Can you tell the difference?" "Yes one sounds like a cat screeching" She made a loud horrible screeching sound giggling "One sounds like a cat growling" She growled as I tickled her I liked how her laughter filled me with a new energy. That night we cuddled together while I read to her a kids story. I could see she was sad without her mummy when it was late and everyone was asleep so I asked if she could be moved in with me. I held her hand while she got, shots received treatments. Falling asleep became easier when I was holding her at nights, I swear I saw mum cry a little watching me even though she was trying not to get caught. I was so tired and as hard as I tried I just couldn't shake it. For the next few days they did endless tests on me trying to come down with whatever was m aking me so sick they didn't think it was just from my heart failure. A little wave of fear went through me as I thought of all the possibilities of what it could be.

They still didn't have any answers but my Pneumonia was cleared up so they finally gave me my D/C papers. Thanks to the antibiotics they gave me I was starting to feel a little stronger. Mum was signing me out when Brigit came running up clapping throwing her arms around me. "Guess what?" "What baby?" "I'm going home to!" "You are awesome!" Her mum came up smiling wearily at me trying to get her daughter to come with her. "Firecracker we have to go I know you love the princess but we have along journey to go"

"We can take you ma'am there's no reason to take the bus" "Thank you princess but we surely could not trouble you" "Really it's no trouble Ma'am I would love to spend more time with peanut and make life a little easier in the progress" "that's very kind of you I wish to thank you for the kindness you have shown my daughter she's a handful but honestly we are okay taking the bus" "No Mummy I hate the bus I wanna ride with the princess!" "Sweetheart what have I told you about whining" I heard mum come up before I saw her, no one wears heals like hers. "Beatrice my dear I understand that you don't want to feel like your stepping over some invisible line but honestly we are just like any other person no better no worse we would be honeyed to give you two lovely ladies a ride home" "If you don't do it for Brigit please do it for me as a way to thank you for everything Brigit has done for us" She looked at us strangely "Whatever could my little firecracker could of done?" "Princess Eleanor is a life savor to me my Queen I can't always be here for Brigit not with my other kids at home and no husband of family to help she's kept my daughter happy safe she's made sure she wasn't scared or lonely and she's taught her more in a week with the piano than I have been able to in three years" "I thank you for telling me this Beatrice I'm so proud to know Eleanor has stepped up her game and has helped I always knew she had it in her" "However I also have seen how depressed she's been with the passing of her father in truth I have been beyond worried about her mental state Brigit has helped bring back my daughters light" Beatrice curtsied to us "My condolences queen and Princess on your loss King Simon is was an honorable good man his loss has shaken the entire nation" My stomach felt heavy my head was starting to hurt thinking about my dad who was to be buried tomorrow. "I'm glad my daughter could help it would be an honor to ride with you"

Brigit was so excited as she slide into the town car which was stocked with fruit snacks and juices, mum poured herself and Beatrice a glass of bourbon. Both were in awe at everything in the car but all I could do was lay my head back on the seat feeling drained now. How was I suppose to say goodbye to my dad? "Princess!" I jumped at Brigit's voice "Can we play a game?" "Sure babe what would you like to play?" "I don't know what do you got?" "How about I spy?" "Yay!" I started giving clues as she looked around in awe and curiosity. It took a long time to get to her hometown but once we got there I was shocked to see how all the buildings were falling apart covered in graffiti, kids were wearing second hand clothes playing with balls of tape. Windows were blown out the roads were nothing but stones and dirt. Stopping in front of one of the worst looking buildings people were sleeping on the ground one man was peeing against the building. Brigit jumped out running to her brothers and sisters and friends. I was saddened to see the state she was living in as well as shocked. Mum helped me out there was no way the wheelchair was fitting in here so she slowly carefully held me up as we made our way out. "Princess Princess come meet my friends" Blushing I cursed myself mentally for not giving more care to how I looked, mum must of read my mind because she leaned me against the car brushed my hair with her fingers quickly fixing my makeup. "Your naturally beautiful Eleanor stop worrying" Mum whispered the words but they made my heart soar. "Princess this is my best friend Sarah and our friends Leah, Lacey, Macy and Rachael" all the girls squealed as they ran to me their eyes wide. All asking a million questions which I tried to answer as fast as possible. I felt mum starting to hurt trying to hold me up so I apologized to them excusing us Brigit pulled me inside her apartment which was four floors up by the time I got there I was wheezing and Mum looked ready to collapse. The smell of urine and mold hit me instantly her mum looked embarrassed apologizing about the mess. Each room was filled with papers, books, dust, dirt dishes, the living room was doubled as a bedroom where Brigit and her two sisters shared. There was a single mattress which was stained with god knows what, bugs covered the walls. My eyes filled up but I I refused to let them be shown I didn't want to insult them. "Mum I didn't know you were coming home so early I was trying to prepare a surprise for you both and you brought the queen and princess" "Sweetheart don't worry about it that's so sweet that your trying to cook for us I appreciate it"

She went over and hugged her thirteen year old son. "Chet I want you to meet your queen and your princess" "It's a pleasure dear what are you cooking it smells delicious" Mum shock his hand smiling asking him his face lite up as he stumbled impressed by the queen. If only he knew her like I did. "Thanks I learned it last week in school it's chicken in a AL forno sauce with biscuit dough on the bottom. I've chopped up onions, garlic, peppers, mushrooms, shredded cheese, celery than coated the top with a biscuit layer." "Sounds amazing Chet I'm so sorry we can't stay but I would love it if you would come over sometime and cook that for us we would give surely pay you" "Really? Like a real cooking job?" "Absolutely Do you like cooking?" "i love it I want to be a professional chef one day" "Than by all means you should come over and study with some of the top chefs in the industry" "Seriously that would be a dream!" The smells were starting to make me dizzy I didn't understand how anyone lived like this, even without a heart disorder this was sickening. After a few more words mum excused us explaining that she wanted to get me home so I could lay down. She even arranged a day for Chet to come over and cook inviting them all to the palace for a day. By the time I got back into the car I was in a full on coughing fit vomiting and feeling feverish but what really made me break was thinking about Brigit living there. I couldn't stop the tears from falling there was no way to hide it mum never said a word against me she just pulled me into her arms. Rubbing my back trying to get me to calm down. "Eleanor this is what your father and I have tried to teach you kids since you were little you were lucky to be born with the riches the advantages and privileges you were not everyone gets handed the kingdom some most inf act have to bust their asses everyday at jobs they hate to even manage a living" "I made my own destiny Eleanor I chose to marry your father to give myself my family a better life. I grew up on a farm with not a lot of money I know what it's like to work hard and earn very little." "I believed in myself now look ow fabulous I am." Rolling my eyes I laid my head on her shoulders. "Just keep believing in Brigit and she'll be fine she's a scrappy little girl but she has energy happiness and love so big she can be anything she puts her mind to all those kids" "Oh and Eleanor" "Yes Mum?'' "Your pretty fucking fabulous yourself babe so believe in yourself" Closing my eyes I leaned my head down on her chest hearing her strong heartbeat feeling a new found respect for my mum she rubbed my back luring me to sleep.