Secrets Are Walls That Keep Us Alone

Chapter Fifty-Four

A Sunday of homework was the price to pay for a Saturday of party. Remus spread out his work across his bed, having no desire to venture into the noise-laden crescendo of the common room.

He had found a method long ago for doing a lot of homework. It was actually quite simple. He put all his Transfiguration homework to his left, the Charms next to that, Potions next to that, Defense Against the Dark Arts next to that, and so on. When one subject's pages fatigued, he looked to the next. It kept him focused.

Remus' quill slicked ink across the page in his focused script, arcing into the delicate spires of perfect cursive lettering. He loved the look of his writing on the page, of his thoughts etched permanently.

He paused for a moment to think. Remus hated crossing things out. He liked to think things through. He glanced over at Peter, who lounged on his bed, humming distractedly. Remus suppressed a grin.

He looked over to see Sirius folded like origami on the floor, amidst a scattering of parchment and books. Even with his books, he took up little space, making sure not to block the floor, should anyone decide they had a desperate need to get to the empty corner behind him.

James was sprawled across his bed, crushing it beneath him, intent even in unconsciousness to show the furniture who was boss. The dominant gesture was subtly ruined by the drool.

"Moony," Sirius called softly. "What year was that one goblin rebellion?"

"Are you kidding? There have been goblin rebellions almost every year. Can you be more specific?"

"It had that guy, uh…something the brave or ferocious or something," Sirius muttered, leafing through his notes.

"Oh, yes, I know exactly what you're talking about."

"Really?" Sirius looked up, raising his eyebrows as though waiting to be enlightened.

"No, of course not," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

Sirius made an annoyed sound and went back to his notes.

The door's hinges screamed open, the wood crushing into the stone. "James!"

James groaned gutturally and put his arms over his head. Fiery red hair caught the light as Lily marched across the room to his bed. She hauled the pillow from beneath is head. "Rise and shine."

James moaned loudly, a wordless complaint. His eyes were practically bolted closed. Lily took stock, and then with one fluid motion stripped the blankets from the bed.

"Give…mine," James muttered into his arms.

"Nope," Lily said cheerily. "Shan't. Mine now."

Sirius swallowed back a laugh as James's gaze poked out from between his hands, through only one eye. He looked surprising surly with only one eye.

"Up, James," Lily sang with false bravado. James glared a Cyclops glare and shook his head, then winced. "Hurts, doesn't it? That'll teach you to stay out all night drinking."

"You are my girlfriend," James said thickly into the mattress as he put his face down flat onto it and tried to sink through into his bed.

"Yes. What's your point?"

"Aren't you supposed to be nice to me when I feel bad?" he grumbled.

"I don't know, am I?" Lily asked loftily, raising her eyebrows.

"You were nice to him." James loosely pointed in Sirius' direction, and then groaned at the movement.

"Don't whine, James," Lily said.

"But I'm sick." He drew the words into a pathetic noise something akin to the sound of an ailing ghoul.

"You're hung-over," Sirius observed.

"You shut up," James snapped. "Oh, my head."

"Oh poor baby," Lily said in mock concern. "Here, let me make it all better."

"You are all horrible," James informed them, looking up briefly. "I would get up and leave, but I think if I move I'll throw up."

"I'm sorry," Lily said softly. She sat down next to him and rubbed circles on his back. "Better?"

"Yes," James conceded, relaxing again.

"Ah, to be Quidditch royalty," Remus sighed, looking back at his homework.

They all continued working, save for James, who looked as though he was going back to sleep, and Lily, who continued to sit with him.

"Hey, Moony, what's that one thing about Uric the Oddball and a Fwooper?" Sirius asked, looking up from his parchment.

"I don't think that's something relevant to your essay, Sirius," Remus said, raising his eyebrows.

"Well, how will I know unless you tell me?"

Remus sighed. "Fwoopers are said to drive people insane with their singing. But Uric the Oddball thought that the song was beneficial to health, and so he listened to it nonstop for three months."

"That bloke was mad," Sirius muttered.

"Yes, that's what the Wizard's Council thought when he turned up to report his findings wearing nothing but a toupee which, upon closer inspection, was actually a dead badger."

Sirius snorted with laughter.

"Did that help your essay?" Remus asked.

"Not at all," Sirius said, looking back at his paper and writing furiously.

"What are you writing about?" Lily asked.

"Uh, well, it's sort of about how a lot of things in history have been discovered because of false assumptions."

Lily nodded. "Pretty good topic. What do you have?"

"Thanks to Uric the Oddball, we know for a fact that Fwoopers will drive you insane, because he falsely assumed that everyone was actually wrong about that. And also thanks to Uric, we know that Augreys don't predict death, because he assumed he was dead and kept walking into walls."

"Didn't he also wear a jellyfish as a hat?" Remus commented.

"I think so," Sirius said. "But I couldn't relate that to my essay."

"You know," Peter said. "I reckon a jellyfish would make an awful hat."

"Why?"

"The point of a hat is to keep your head dry, right? What's the point if your hat is a slimy, wet jellyfish?"

"You'd think it would have stung him," Lily added.

"D'you think he had a real last name, or did his parents just realize he was going to an oddball right off the bat?" Sirius threw in.

"I reckon there are an awful lot of questions concerning Uric the Oddball," Remus said. "But please, I'm trying to read about Ancient Runes."

They fell silent, all beginning their work again, as Remus considered that it was all they seemed to do anymore.

Sirius yawned widely, and Remus cast a look at him. "Did you ever go back to sleep this morning?"

"Not really, no," Sirius said nonchalantly. "But don't worry; I'm really not that tired."

Remus scrutinized him for a moment, taking in the dark smudges under his eyes, the paleness of his skin. "You look tired."

"Haven't been sleeping too well," Sirius admitted. "But it isn't a big deal."

"You know another person who isn't sleeping well?" James demanded loudly from his bed. "Me! Will you two bloody shut up?"

Sirius smirked. "Got a bit of a headache, Prongs?"

"A bit of a headache, he says," James muttered. "A bit of a headache. Tell me, Pads, you ever had your head run over by the Knight Bus?"

"No," Sirius said, stifling a laugh. James gave him a purely lethal look.

"Do you purposely make the pitch of your laugh so grating? It's like the scream of a bloody banshee!"

"I'm sorry that the tone of my laugh offends you," Sirius said. "Perhaps you recall the last time I was hung-over, and you wandered around the dormitory whistling the highest notes you could reach!"

"I don't remember any such thing," James said haughtily. "Though I do recall the day you sang the school song in falsetto at five the morning after a party!"

"I don't recall that," Sirius said stiffly. "But I do recall the time you woke me up jumping on my bed, and then yelled when I got sick on you."

"Well, that's understandable," James justified. "Who wants to be covered in your dinner?"

"The point was that you made me do it!" Sirius emphasized.

"You're doing that loud thing with your voice again, Sirius. Stop it."

"Admit you were wrong for yelling at me."

"No."

"Admit it."

"No."

Sirius frowned, and then his eyes lit up. He opened his mouth, and Remus heard the most awful sound he had ever heard in his life.

"Hogwarts Hogwarts hoggy warty Hogwarts!"

"Stop!" James moaned, covering his ears. "Stop!"

"Not until you admit it!" Sirius said, and then continued singing as Remus bit his lip, trying to keep from bursting out laughing.

"Teach us something please

Whether we be old and bald

Or young with scabby knees!"

"Okay, okay! I was wrong to yell at you!" James exclaimed.

"And?" Sirius demanded.

"And what?" James asked desperately.

"Our brains could do with filling

With some interesting stuff

For now they're bare and full of air

dead flies and bits of -- "

"And I'm sorry!" James yelled, breaking in.

"Thank you," Sirius said politely, then picked up his quill and kept writing.