Let me thank you all for hanging in there for the last while while I tried to handle the this chapter despite all the threats I received in reviews and PMs (I perfectly understand, by the way, but in all seriousness, a lynch mob, Ryuus2? COME ON! I'm a Sociology student. Do you know what that idea alone does to me?).

I hated killing Kagome, but just know now that everything will be alright. In fact, with what I have in store, things will be better than ever, and it all starts here! We'll be seeing a certain anime favorite in future chapters, I guarantee!

By the way, I saw the first episode of the Animax Asia InuYasha The Final Act in English dub online, and the none of the characters sound like themselves. I don't know if this is going to be the official English dub, but if it is, then dub fans of InuYasha may have trouble adjusting, like me.

Edited: 12/13/12


Disclaimer: I do not – I repeat, I do NOT – own Dragon Ball Z, nor do I own the rights to names of any other fictional characters.


The Problem Solver

"You guys are in a bit of a situation I see," the mysterious voice continued.

"Who is that?" McGonagall said in confusion, looking around to see who it was. "Where are you?"

"A ha ha," the voice laughed again. "Look for me all you want, you'll never find me. I'm not a part of your world."

"Not a part of our world?" Miroku repeated quietly to himself, looking upward. "Do you mean you're in the Netherworld?"

"Close, or rather, it's the equivalent of what you know as the Netherworld. I'm in Other World, and my name … is King Kai! I'm the man who watches over Earth and your part of the universe. I'm using my powers to contact you telepathically.

"And added to it, I'm the funniest man in the universe, as well as your problem solver."

"Well, that's some kind of freaky," Koga retorted. "Does that mean you're reading our minds or something?"

"No, not really," King Kai replied. "Whatever you say, I can hear, and what ever I say, you can hear in your head. Get it?"

"Yeah, I think I get it," Naruto thought out loud, scratching his head.

Suddenly, everyone started laughing. Even Professor McGonagall chuckled lightly. Looking around, Naruto started to get freaked out. "Hey, what's everybody laughing at?"

Negi recovered first. "King Kai just said his blood alcohol level is higher than your I.Q. Ha ha. And he's never gotten drunk in the last six years – not even once!" Then he fell to the floor in a fit of laughter.

Now everyone was laughing harder from hearing it a second time. Sango and Miroku were gripping and grabbing at each other just to stay on their feet they were laughing so hard. It didn't matter where Miroku's or Sango's hands went. Neither of them noticed nor cared.

Ron and Neville, who had come out with Harry and Hermione to see what was going on, were starting to laugh because of all the laughing around them, even though they didn't know what they were laughing at.

Sakura, Choji and Lee, on the other hand, who had just returned from look–out duty in the castle towers had heard the joke and were now struggling to keep straight faces.

But Naruto wasn't laughing. His face was as red as Ron's hair and getting redder by the second. He'd never been so embarrassed, even all those times he'd stepped in dog stool or kissed Sasuke Uchiha three years ago.

"Anyway," Negi continued. "King Kai, you mentioned something about not needing a funeral. Please explain."

"Certainly, my boy," King Kai's voice replied happily. "You see, you won't need a funeral because I can help you arrange to bring her back to life."

For the next ten seconds, the only sound to be heard was the sound of silence. Before anyone could say anything, the front tree in the forest collapsed as InuYasha came crashing through the brush, a look of pure panic on his face.

"HEY, WHO'S THE WISE GUY?!" he shouted frantically. "KAGOME'S BODY JUST DISAPPEARED!"

"A ha ha!" King Kai chortled. "Who indeed?"

"HEY! WHO'S THERE?!" InuYasha roared into the empty air around him.

"My name is King Kai, and I'm the guy who's gonna solve all your problems, InuYasha."

"What? My problems? And hey, how'd you know my name?!" he called, feeling stupid just talking to thin air.


"How?" King Kai retorted from where he stood on the grassy plains of the Grand Kai's planet in Other World, proudly watching his many students training hard around him. "AH! There she is! I know because I have someone here with me who you know very well."

"Really, who?" InuYasha said in confusion.

"Well, let's just say I pulled a couple of strings with King Yemma, the judge here in Other World. He decides whether a person can go to Heaven, Hell or here to see me. I had her body preserved and her soul brought here to me. And let's just say your friend has racked up quite a bit of merit slaying demons with you back in the Feudal Era. Any ideas?"


"Wait!" InuYasha exclaimed, getting a little excited. "Kagome? Is Kagome there with you?!"

"DING DING! Give the dog a treat! Ha ha!" King Kai replied. "She's right here with me. Want to say 'hi'?"

"What? But how?"

But before either could say more, Kagome's voice rang through the air. "InuYasha. InuYasha!"

InuYasha gasped. "Kagome! Is it really you?"

"Yes, InuYasha, it's me!" she replied. "I'm so happy to hear you're voice. King Kai's letting me talk to you right now. Please don't worry. He's reassured me that I can come back. I'll see you guys soon, so please wait for me."

And then everything was silent.

"Kagome?" InuYasha called in concern. "KAGOME!"

"What's up, InuYasha?" Miroku asked, walking up to him, Sango beside him. "Is something wrong?"

But when InuYasha turned to them, he was laughing. "I must be going crazy, you guys, because I just talked to Kagome, and she says she's coming back!"

And as he conveyed what King Kai and Kagome had said, his friends' faces seemed to get brighter and brighter.

"But how could this be true?" Miroku pressed him, grabbing InuYasha's shoulders. "We don't have any Sacred Jewel shards to bring her back."

"Oh, you won't need those!" King Kai's voice was back. "I have a better way to bring her back, no strings attached."

"Wh – what?!" Sango stuttered. "You mean, for real?"

"Yup," King Kai continued. "I've just contacted my prize student on Earth. He's currently at his son's wedding but he'll be in touch with me soon. He's the strongest man in the universe, and he can help you gather what you need. You see, there's this set of magical balls called the Dragon Balls. If you gather all seven balls together, you can have any wish granted."

"Wait a minute," Miroku stopped him again. "When you say 'any wish,' do you mean –?"

"THAT'S RIGHT!" King Kai told him. "Any wish, whether it be to grant you immortality, bring someone back to life – virtually anything!"

"Really? Wow!"

"InuYasha? InuYasha?" Sango exclaimed suddenly. "Miroku, something's wrong."

"What is it?" he asked, turning around.

"It's like InuYasha's in some kind of trance. He won't snap out of it."

She was right. InuYasha was just standing there, stunned, a blank look in his eye, no matter how many times she waved her hand in front of his face.

"It's probably just the happiness shock setting in," King Kai said simply. "But don't worry. He'll be fine. He's probably just so happy, his brain just crashed or something." He had to laugh at that.


"Are you sure you shouldn't have told him more?" King Kai asked Kagome as he turned around to face his new visitor. "I'm not sure they'll be able to rest easy with so little information to go with."

"I have my own reasons for that, sir," Kagome smiled at him, a sparkling halo floating above her head. "If I told InuYasha I wasn't coming back right away, he'd probably go into a fixed rage."

"Now you're sure you want to stay here for a month and train under me? It'll be tough," he said as he looked her in the eye.

"It's kinda tough just to stand up here," she replied, her legs wobbling just to hold herself up at a near–vertical base.

"Heh heh, yeah. It'll take a couple of days, but you'll get used to that. The Grand Kai's planet is bigger than mine was, but it's still much smaller than Earth. And with a smaller planetary radius –"

"Comes stronger gravity, right?" she finished the sentence for him. "So what's the pull here? About three times Earth gravity?"

"That's … right," he said in surprise. "Did you just read my mind? Do you know what I'm going to say next?"

"Uh … no."

After a pause, King Kai smiled and said, "Me neither! Aha ha! 'S been a long time since anyone finished my sentences before me. You know something, Kagome? I like you, and not just because you tamed InuYasha. Ha ha! So, I've decided to give you the King Kai Special! Ha ha! Gotta remember to write that one down."

"Uh … um," Kagome just looked at him blankly.

"Hmmmm," he said pensively, looking her over. "Okay, I'll overlook that one, but I make it a personal policy never to train someone without a sense of humor."

"A sense of humor? Are you telling a bad joke? When I was in elementary school, my friends called me the Queen of One–Liners," she forced herself to stand up straight and puffed out her chest with pride.

"Ooooooooh," King Kai squealed. "Well that's good, because your first task will depend on that, so for your sake, I hope you haven't lost your touch."

"Really?" she said curiously. "What's my first task?"

"Not so fast," he said, suddenly stern. "First, you have to tell me why you want to train with me."

"Huh?"

"I don't like to train people with no purpose. If I agree to do this, you are going to have to tell me the whole story behind this request. Listen carefully, my dear. My training is incredibly unorthodox, but it is known for churning out extraordinary martial artists. I need to be sure that you are committed."

At that moment, Kagome's legs gave out, and she plopped down on the ground. "Oh my god! That's it. I can't stand up any more."

"Shall I pull up a chair for you?" King Kai smiled, and his antennae tips glimmered briefly, and a moment later, Kagome was sitting on a beanbag chair.

"Wow! That was amazing," she exclaimed in awe.

"Nah! You're amazing, sweetheart," King Kai responded in a deeper voice. "Now, that's good!" He couldn't stop himself from chuckling at this. But as he laughed at his own joke, Kagome just looked at him blankly once again.

All at once, his head sprang up and he gave her a cold look. "You told me, you had a sense of humor. That was a good joke, so why did you just stare at me?"

"Well, honestly," Kagome confessed. "It wasn't all that funny. Hit or miss, really. Besides, if that was really that funny, you wouldn't have to laugh at your own jokes. That's what the audience is there for, right?"

After giving her the same look for several more seconds, King Kai smiled. "Hm. You're right. That is what the audience is there for, but it never hurts to laugh at a joke you think is funny, even if you're the one who's telling it."

Kagome couldn't help but nod her head at his insight. "Gotta give you that one. You know your stuff." King Kai's nose seemed to double in length as he laughed with pride.

"Now then, let's hear your story," he said as he conjured another chair for himself.

Over the course of the next hour, Kagome told him about her relationship with InuYasha, as well as the conversation she had with Negi, leaving out the part that they had it in the bath – he didn't have to know that little detail.

"I made a promise, a promise that I would get strong – strong enough so that I won't need InuYasha to protect me anymore," she finished. "That's why I need to do this."

"Well, well, well," King Kai said with approval. That boy, Negi … may be wise beyond even my years. Wait a minute, I think I just insulted myself? "I can't turn you away after hearing that. We'll begin right away."

"Right!" she cried, all fired up. "I won't fail."

"But first," King Kai interrupted, causing Kagome to face–plant into the grass. "There's something I need to take care of."

As she looked up, Kagome saw King Kai's antennae begin to wave through the air. "Ah, found him."

"Huh?"

"Watch and listen well," he looked back at her, before turning around. "Negi. Calling Negi Springfield … Don't worry. Your friend Kagome is just fine. In fact, I'm going to train her to help her get strong. We arranged for her to stay here a month, and I just wanted to let you in on something. Kagome's accident … wasn't an accident. Now don't panic! I know how to find out who's responsible. What? Of course, I can't know everything as it happens everywhere in the galaxy! I was watching over another planet when I felt something coming from Earth, and when I checked, I found Kagome's situation, as well as … some other things I'm becoming increasingly concerned about. But we'll get into that later. I happen to know of a brilliant young detective with skills to match. Did you know he stopped World War III when he was just 8 years old? Yes, there was. You just didn't realize it because it was stopped before war could be declared. I'll get in touch with him soon and have him meet you at Hogwarts. The case of 'Who Killed Kagome Higurashi' will be solved and the perp arrested in no time. I'll take care of everything. Gotta go now. Oh wait! One more thing. You might not want to lie to them about Fate's little friends like last time. Heh. Later."

He turned back to Kagome. "What do you mean?" she asked him. "That he shouldn't have lied about the other Fate's?"

"Oh, nothing, he'll probably tell you himself when he's ready. Now then, we should get ready to begin."

His face was suddenly serious. "Kagome Higarashi, you're first test is to make me laugh! If you can't make me laugh, I'm not going to train you."

"Mm," she nodded in acknowledgement. "Understood."

For the next several seconds, they simply locked eyes, neither daring to make a sound, until Kagome finally took a deep breath in. King Kai braced his jaw. He wasn't going to make this an easy one.

"Why did the turkey cross the road?"

"To lay an egg, like you will be if that joke is the best you can do. Try again."

Kagome smirked. "Touché. Well, how about this?" She reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone, and put it to her ear. "Hello? … Huh? Must be a bee on the other end, because all I'm hearing is a BZZZZZZZZZY signal!"

"Heh, not bad," King Kai smiled. "But your delivery needs a little work." He tried to hide his face from her by burying his mouth in his hands, but Kagome saw this.

All he needs is one more little push and he'll be bawling. She looked around and saw a glass window a short distance away. She ran straight at it, taking lots of effort to build up the necessary speed. When she reached it she pressed her face against it, hard, and when she turned back towards him, the imprint on the window looked exactly like a mask from a certain horror movie. "Scream."

All at once, King Kai began to spit and snort into his hands until he couldn't hold it back any longer. "AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 'SCREAM,' SHE SAYS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

By now, he pounding the ground with one hand and holding his ribs with the other.

"Someone stop me, or he's gonna die laughing!" Kagome pretended to yell in panic. "Oops, too late!"

King Kai was on his back and starting to flail his limbs in the air in hysterics. He was laughing so hard tears were gushing from his eyes.

"Aww, poor King Kai? Did you fall down, go boom?" she asked, bending over ever–so–sweetly.

That did it.

King Kai started guffawing so hard he started losing the ability to breathe. He laughed so hard he completely lost all breath in his lungs and passed out.

By now, even Kagome was holding her ribs in a fit of laughter – King Kai's laughter was contagious.


It took several minutes for the Other World medics, including the Kai of the East, to revive Kagome's would–be teacher … until he saw Kagome's sweet smile. Then he broke out into a fit of spitting giggles until East Kai slapped him in the face. "Snap out of it, North Kai! What could be so funny anyway, you comedy–challenged freak?!"

"Oh, can it, East Kai!" King Kai snapped at her. "That is, *snort*, if there's any room left in that fat can of yours! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Even the medics started to chuckle at this. They all agreed with him about East Kai's ginormous rear end.

Kagome had to cover her mouth to hide her own laughter. Snap, snap! She thought with glee as East Kai stormed off with a "Harrumph!"


At King Kai's behest, a plane soon arrived from King Yemma's palace, bringing to them King Kai's "training assistants," a monkey and a floating cricket.

When they got there, and Kagome saw strange insect, the first thing she said was, "Are you Jiminy Cricket?"

Her question sent King Kai sprawling, gasping for breath. "JIMINY CRICKET! AHAHAHAHA! This girl just can't be stopped! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oooooooooooooooooh," the floating cricket steamed at his boss. "I wish you'd stop laughing at things at the drop of a hat, King Kai! Grow up already!"

King Kai didn't answer. He was too busy snickering at his new student's words.

"And you!" Gregory rounded on Kagome. "You should be more respectful to me! I don't know or care if you think I'm like some cartoon character. I could whoop you in less than a second if I wanted to, so watch your mouth!"

By now, King Kai had finally recovered his composure and had stood back up.

"Well, Kagome, you've owned up to your boasts, a true Princess of Puns. So, it's time to start your training."

"All right!" Kagome clenched her fists with a confident grin. "I'll do my best!"

"Right, well we'll get right into it." King Kai turned to the monkey. "You know what to do, Bubbles," he winked at his happy little pet.

"Oop oop," the monkey nodded and jumped on Kagome. If she hadn't turned her head away in time, Bubbles would have kissed her right on the lips before jumping down and running away across the grass.

Rubbing her cheek with her sleeve furiously, Kagome had to scream, "A FREAKING MONKEY ALMOST GAVE ME MY FIRST KISS! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

"Heh heh. This is the first part of your training, my girl. You must first get used to the heavy gravity here and catch my precious monkey, Bubbles! My guess is he just wanted to give you a little *heh heh* extra motivation. I gotta say, though, I didn't see that coming. Hah ha."

But Kagome was barely listening, having already taken off at an awkward run after the playful monkey. "YOU'D BETTER HOPE I DON'T CATCH YOU, 'CUZ WHEN I DO, YOUR TAIL IS GOING TO BE IN KNOTS!" she yelled at him, her face red. "NEVER TRY TO TAKE A GIRL'S FIRST KISS AWAY FROM HER LIKE THAT OR YOU'RE GONNA DIEEEEEE!"

"Don't bother with that!" King Kai called after her. "Bubbles, Gregory and I and already dead!" This made him laugh yet again as he and Gregory watched his new young pupil struggle to keep up with his pet monkey. "Well, I'd better finish setting things in motion."

He turned around, and a small phone appeared in his hand. Picking up the receiver, he dialed a long number.


Back down on Earth, a young man picked up his phone with his thumb and pointer finger and held it near his ear. "Yes?"


And there you have it. Kagome's revival has already been set in motion, just like I promised, and she's revealed a side of herself not of us ever knew about, and she's already making good on her promise to Negi to make herself strong so that InuYasha won't feel the need to protect her anymore.

Just guess who the mystery man is! I DARE YOU! If you can guess that, then you know what anime is coming into the story next!

Also, since the Dragon Balls grant two wishes at this point (post end of the anime), one wish will be open for grabs. I could use some ideas. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK THE WISH SHOULD BE AND WHO SHOULD MAKE IT. REMEMBER, THERE'S A LOT OF POTENTIAL, GIVEN WHO'S AT HOGWARTS!