So here it is! This is an expansion of the last chapter that was cut out.
Haymitch's story
"I'm not here to tell you how wrong you are for being sad,or to blame you for that. I was almost a dad once"
"You?"She says incredulously."Yeah,you'd be really surprised at how I use to be."
"But your so...haymitchy?!"
I laugh and explain"you see,before the quell,I had a girlfriend name Susie Gale. One night,we...well you and peeta obviously know how babies are made."I laugh a bit"so anyways,the day of the quell she was 6 and a half months pregnant. We were 17 and we both almost were safe. Her friend, maysilee doner was picked,she was a wonderful person. And of course,I was picked. I planned on getting back to her,just like you for your family,I had people I cared for and a future child. I was actually excited about being a father too"
"So what exactly happened to them?"She asks shyly "Well,on my last fight,I was against a career. Similar to you and peeta at the end,but I was alone and with no weapon. I started with a weapon but it went into her eye"
"You stabbed her eye?"She gaps.
"Yeah. She had an axe and a while before,I discovered the force field at the cliff. So when she threw her axe and I ducked,it came back and struck her right in the chest. I thought it was clever and wonderful how that worked out,but just like you with the berries,the capitol didn't like that. They saw it as defiance,though it was just so that I live. So one night after my return,a bunch of peacekeepers stormed in and held me back. President snow stepped out and said' i do hope that you see the seriousness of your act Mr Abernathy' then he stepped forward and stabbed her right in the heart. Then leaned over her and said'what a waste,she was a beauty' I never wanted to kill him more than that moment. Then when they left,they took her body away from me. I collapsed on the floor and sobbed until there was nothing left. In that time they had killed everyone else in my family and hers. I was officially alone"
"Haymitch..."
"So after that I drank,because everyone I loved was gone. I had to face 46 more deaths after that because of tributes I failed. They made sure that I didn't forget the feeling of death. They blew me up every single year after that until I just stopped fighting. By the time they stopped trying,I was known as a drunk. My reputation set and my life ruined"
I pause.
"You and peeta are my kids now. That's why I fought so hard for you two. And I hate to see you this way...but I do know how you feel. But katniss,you have kids that are alive. You need to live for them"
"listen katniss,I didn't have anyone. But you have peeta and your family."
"Peeta's gone"she says
"Katniss,he was there for you,he will return when you are better. But only when you get out of this state and live. You have kids to live for. Katniss peeta loves you and will come when you let him in. Just please let him in"
I leave her there hoping that she sees how wrong she is about going this way. When I get home,I dig deep into my things and find what I have left of Susie. I find a beautiful picture of her,her blond hair to one side and her blue eyes glistening. I look more into the box I found and find my token,it was from her. It was a picture of our baby,I remember when she went to what was our apothecary at that time. It was katniss's mom and her grandpa. I remember how much she begged that we somehow get a picture,and we did. I'm surprised that I didn't lose it during the game.
Then I find her clothes. I pick up what was her favourite dress and hold it close to my face. Even covered in dust it smells like her. I let my tears fall onto it and then I fold it back up,but I keep out the two pictures and place them by my bed.
That night I don't drink.
I simply lay down and before I turn off the light,I press the pictures to my lips and whisper a light"I love you"
I drift off and I know that I will relive that terrible night in my nightmares.
A/N sad chapter,but I feel that it really shows the true haymitch. So this is what was cut out from the chapter,but here it is for you to read and possibly cry ;) tell me what you think, reviews are greatly appreciated!
