A sudden silence fell over the large office, every pair of eyes expectantly waiting for the Elven King to react. Her body froze, completely unresponsive to her mind. The loud beating of her heart was the only reminder that the scene in front of her was real. So many things she would have liked to say, so many things she would have liked to do, and at that moment, she could not think of any of them. All she could think of was the pair of infinite blue eyes that pierced through hers, pulling her like inescapable wide clear oceans, so captivating, so strange and yet so familiar.
"You may be dismissed" The Elven King's calmed voice echoed through the still air as he turned quickly to face the other two elves that sat at the table. His musical voice was soft and at the same time so royal and powerful, leaving no space for argument.
She saw the two elves blink as if awakened from the daze that had fallen over the room upon their entrance, their eyes confused, shocked at the sudden dismissal and she could clearly see that the meeting they interrupted had not been close to being finished. However, the two elves hurriedly picked up some parchments from the table and stood up, silently bowing at their King and Princes before strolling out of the room.
"Arahaelon, would you please gather your siblings and wait for me at the family wing?" King Thranduil's piercing blue eyes turned to look at his eldest son as he spoke, his voice kind and soft, perfectly composed. "You too, Legolas, and welcome back home."
"Yes, Ada" The Crown Prince nodded his head in reply, his face as serene an unreadable as ever, but his previously cold and impenetrable eyes now warm and kind as a green forest.
Her eyes traveled to watch Arahaelon as he gracefully turned around to leave the room. His green eyes caught hers for a moment, a spark of mockery that seemed to tell her he knew exactly who she was buried deep in his serene forest irises. His lips curved up in a gentle smile, and suddenly he did not feel as royal, powerful and distant as he had moments ago. Suddenly she felt that there was so much more to know about him hidden behind his crown prince façade.
Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Legolas silently follow his eldest brother, offering her a wide smile before closing the door behind him. The light clicking sound of the door as it sealed shut behind her back seemed louder in the silence, trapping her in this overly large study with the Elven King. Even her previously drumming heart appeared to have stopped beating, her body rooted in place, unresponsive as waves of nerves and fear took possession of her.
Her eyes remained fixed on the King, who had not moved a single inch. He stood there, only some feet in front of her, standing as tall and regal as she had always imagined him, as she had seen him in her dreams. His light blue robes had to be the finest she had ever seen, the shade perfectly matching his infinite blue eyes that resembled an expanding clear sky. Every feature of his face was so delicate, so defined, and she was sure he was one of the fairest looking elves in the whole Arda. She could feel the incredible power that seemed to float around him, emanating from his majestic figure.
And yet, there was something else his calmed blue eyes, no longer authoritative, no longer impenetrable. They looked so deep, so vast, filled with more emotions and wisdom than she could imagine, staring at her, taking in her entire appearance, studying her face. She felt a new wave of emotions wash over her, emotions she could not name. Her father was here, standing right before her, and yet she could not say anything to him, could not think of anything to say.
Then, as soon as his eyes met hers again, she felt something change. They seemed to trap her, and let herself freely float in their vast infinite skies, suddenly feeling safe, secure. She did not know exactly what it was, but deep in the strangeness of the powerful eyes of the Elven King gleamed a touch of familiarity, a touch of love that her forgotten memories had thought she would never see again. And then she knew, as clearly as she had when she had first met Legolas, that she had seen those eyes before. And she remembered them. They felt like home. It seemed so strange, so distant and false, and yet so real and welcoming.
A lump formed in her throat and her chest constricted, but she could not gather the strength to move. So many emotions swirled through her body that she could not even understand what they were; fear? Joy? Nerves? Peace? Relief? How many times had she stared in to his eyes when she was nothing but a baby? For how long had her own eyes absently longed to stare into such familiar comfort without ever being able to remember it existed?
Suddenly a place inside of her she had not known was void before felt complete, and she instantly knew it had not entirely being empty, but forgotten; it was their bond, weak and almost inexistent, but it had never broken; it simply had never grown. She could already feel the silver shimmer of unshed tears starting to blur her vision, and she was abruptly angry at herself for once again not being able to control her emotions from showing.
She saw the Elven King suddenly take a step forward, eyes quickly narrowing in worry and alarm, but then stopped in place, seeming to hesitate whether or not his approach would be well received. But it was too late. The moment he moved she felt as if her body had suddenly snapped awake from its frozen daze. She felt her feet rushing forward, out of natural instinct rather than reason. But on what reason would she act at that moment? Her mind was a hurricane of incoherent thoughts, a tornado of unnamed emotions.
Her movement seemed to answer his doubts and he too moved forward, reaching her just in time as she threw her arms around his middle, crystal tears already rolling down her cheeks. A pair of strong arms wrapped tightly around her, and she felt so safe, so protected. She felt at home. Everything about the embrace was so familiar, and yet so new. She did not remember his face, did not remember his voice, but she remembered his presence. More tears slid shamelessly down her cheeks as she opened her mouth to take a steadying breath, only for a chocked sob to escape out of it as a result. She pressed her face against his formal robes, the feeling of the fine silver embroidery on her cheeks resulting more comforting than she had ever imagined. Even his sweet scent felt familiar to her, and she felt like an elfling. But then again, that was exactly was she was at that moment: an elfling in the arms of her father.
"My Almarëa" She heard him whisper in between her uncontrolled sobs. His arms held her so tight against him, as if they longed to make up for every second of all the long years. She felt his fingers softly sliding through her hair, stroking the back of her head in they way in which one comforts a small child. "Welcome home, my little Almarëa"
Elerrina opened her mouth to say something, but failed miserably as yet another sob echoed from her throat. She was crying hysterically now, her tears soaking the fine fabric of his robes, but the King did not seem to care. His hold did not lessen; it only tightened as he kept whispering her name to himself over and over again.
She felt him pull away form her slightly, one hand gently lifting her chin to look into her face and she let her eyes pierce into his once more, more tears racing down her cheeks at the comforting familiarity in his gaze. The silvery shimmer of unshed tears glazed his eyes, so deep and penetrating…so familiar.
"My Almarëa" He repeated, as if he needed to say it a thousand times to actually believe it. His thumb softly brushed away the tears from her cheeks, but it was useless, they flowed like streams down her face every time she blinked.
She felt the Elven King guide her to an elegant couch inside the large room, softly pushing her down to sit before sitting next to her. His arms remained wrapped around her shaking body, cradling her like a child…his child. It felt so comforting, so natural to simply be held in this elf's arms, and at the same time so strange and new.
Long moments passed as she struggled to steady her breathing from the sobs that wracked her body, and he simply sat there, patiently waiting. She let her eyes scan the room, lost at the care that had seemed to be imbedded in every detail, every object so delicate and elegant that it almost made her feel intimidated. Everything about the room was strange; everything about the palace was strange. But strangest of it all was the elf sitting beside her. He was so familiar, and yet she did not know him at all, did not know anything about this powerful, respected figure.
"Would you like some water?" He offered gently, and she nodded her head in response, absolutely in need for something to help her ease her constricted throat.
The Elven King stood up gracefully and she followed him with her eyes as he walked to the large doors. He opened one only halfway and said something in elvish to the guards standing dutifully outside before closing it again and returning to sit next to her. He continued to stare at her, his eyes carefully studying her every feature as she tried to calm her chocked breathing. Right now, she knew she looked nothing like the daughter of a King.
Not even five minutes later, someone knocked on the door. She heard King Thranduil softly calling for the newcomer to enter and a fair looking maid walked into the room carrying a crystal glass full of water in one of her pale hands. The maid bowed her head respectfully at her King as she approached and Elerrina saw the Elven King nod his head politely. She heard him say some words in elvish to the maid, which she assumed were in thanks, while he motioned with a hand for the water to be handed to Elerrina.
She gratefully took the glass in her slightly shanking hands sipping slowly at the transparent liquid. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw the maid silently exiting the room, closing the door behind her. She slowly felt herself calm down, the water helping loads in easing the tight knot at her throat until she felt that she could breath regularly once again.
"Do you feel better?" He asked after a moment, and she simply nodded her head in reply, once again not knowing what to say to him. Then his hand traveled once more to her chin and gently lifted her head to look into her eyes, a melancholic mixture of sorrow and joy present in his small smile.
"I know I am a stranger to you, even if you know that you are my daughter." His voice was soft, edged with sadness and tenderness as his infinite blue eyes stared deeply into hers. "I love you very much, I have since the moment of your birth, just as all of your siblings. I wish I could have given you all that which I gave to your siblings, and I am truly sorry it was not that way. I do not know you, nor will I pretend like I do, but I do wish you would let me try to get to know you. I wish I had been the one to tell you about your heritage, but I agreed with Elrond when he let you know that it was the right time. I also recognize that you go by the name Elerrina, and I will completely understand if you would rather be called by that name over Almarëa."
His infinite eyes stared at her intently, a deep pain floating deeply in their sky colored irises, so compliant and understanding. Suddenly, at that moment, whichever name she chose was such an insignificant thing to her. True, she had grown up by the name Elerrina. That had been her only identity, and it had come as a great shock to find out otherwise. But Elerrina seemed so far away now. She would never return to the village in which she grew up; her foster mother was dead, and she was an immortal being. She knew that she would always remain Elerrina, but she no longer felt the need to hide herself behind that name. Most of all, she had already found a brother in Legolas and wanted this elf in front of her to be her father. And Elerrina was not his daughter.
"I will be happy to go by the name you gave me."
Her voice came out barely audible, but steadier than she had imagined. The gleam of pride and joy in his eyes at her words told her that her choice of name meant more to him than it really did to her, and she suddenly had the feeling that the name Elerrina was a reminder that someone else had raised her.
"You look exactly like your mother." His voice trailed off as one of his hands softly placed a strand of her long golden hair behind her left ear, his eyes continuing to study her face.
"The palace is your house, and you are free to go anywhere you want. I do not expect for it to feel like home yet, but I hope someday it will." He stared at her for a moment, and once again she felt like she wanted to say so many things and at that moment could not think of a single one.
"I…" She started, not sure of what to say to this elf who was at the same time the mighty King of Mirkwood and her father. "How should I address you?"
If her question surprised him he did not show it in his perfectly serene face. When he answered his voice remained as soft and kind as it had been through the entire conversation and she had the deep feeling that this tone he used with her was not the tone of the King of Mirkwood, but of a father.
"Any way you want."
She nodded her head in response, somewhat relieved that he was not demanding her to call him father. Part of her longed to do so, and yet part of her could not, the word would simply not come out of her lips, it felt too strange, too unreal. And yet she did not know how else to address him, for calling him anything other than father resulted as equally as strange.
"Would you like me to show you to your quarters?" He said as he rose to his feet with a smile on his face. Suddenly she could see just how much Legolas resembled his father. She nodded her hear in response, not really wanting to stay in this elegant room for long. "Come."
She too rose to feet and followed the Elven King closely as he walked to the large pairs of doors. He opened one the exquisitely carved wooden doors and let her out first before closing it behind him as he exited the piece.
Outside, the corridor felt larger than it had before, every pointed arch stretching tall above her, so frail and magnificent at the same time. He led her down the long corridor, walking at a slow pace in contrast to Arahaelon's previous determined walking. He moved so gracefully, every step as if he was floating effortlessly over the polished marble floor, the elegant formal robes dancing around him, brushing the floor behind his feet. There was once again the undeniable aura of royalty and power that seemed to surround his very presence.
Every once in a while an elf or two would cross their path, bowing respectfully at King as they did and sometimes adding a low "Your Majesty". Their curious eyes would turn to her, analyzing her closely and she found herself staring at the floor in those cases, not knowing how to react to the stares. To her relief, no elf asked about her, and she assumed none would question her with the King being the one who led her through the palace. It was both, a magnet for stares and a safety blanket from questions about her identity.
It had not been long until she once again felt lost in the endless corridors and large halls that filled the palace. She had tried to memorize the way, but the task had very soon resulted nearly impossible. There were so many stairs, so many hallways, every space filled with bright rays of golden sunlight that filtered from the many windows and balconies, the corridors sometimes opening completely to the exterior, adorned by a frail railing that emerged from the pointed arches.
She followed the Elven King up a large, elegant staircase and found two guards standing at either side of the upper landing. Neither of the elves moved as the King walked past them, seeming to be used to their presence there, but she could not help but stare at them in slight awe as she followed behind. Up the staircase was quiet, and she could not hear many elves in the area. Suddenly she had the feeling that they were now in the private quarters of the palace, and the two guards at the staircase seemed to confirm her suspicions.
A young looking maid crossed their path, and the Elven King stopped her in her way. She appeared slightly surprised but quickly stopped and bowed lightly at the King, waiting for the new command that was probably coming.
"Caeleth, find Sidhel and her daughters Lhenes and Riniel and send them to Almarëa's chambers." The young maid's eyes did not hide her confusion at such request but quickly nodded her head.
"Yes, Your Majesty." She replied instantly, and for a second her eyes noticed Elerrina standing behind the Elven King and suddenly seemed to widen in comprehension. She never knew if the maid had known she was Almarëa or what it was she had thought about her, but a fragment of a second later, the young looking elf was rushing down the hall to complete her newly assigned task.
This part of the palace was more beautiful than the rest she had seen. It was still elegant, filled with pointed arches and balconies, and yet they somehow seemed more delicate, their scale less grand and more intimate and welcoming. The blond King suddenly stopped before a small corridor that ended in large pair delicately carved wooden doors.
"These are my quarters." He said as he motioned to the doors with a graceful movement of his hand. "You are welcome in them any time you want."
She nodded her hear in reply, the sole sight of the large doors already intimidating her and for a moment she imagined if those were the doors she would have come running to when scared in the middle of night had she been raised at the palace. She wondered if those were the doors Legolas had run to, or Arahaelon, or Lossenel, or Tadion.
A small smile appeared on her face as she remembered that name. She remembered Legolas pronouncing it; her other brother; the one that was the twin's same age. It was the only name of her siblings that still remained without a face she could attach to it.
She was cut out of her thoughts as the Elven King continued down a long corridor to the right. Many doors flanked its sides, all of them carefully crafted in different patterns of leaves and flowers, all similar but different. There were five doors, to be exact, the spacing between each of them enormous. The King led her to the very last door at the end of the corridor, to the left and opened it carefully for her to enter first.
The room inside was far larger than she had imagined it. Pale cream curtains hung heavily from the large windows, the fabric delicately embroidered in gold thread at the bottom in patterns of leaves like she had never seen before. Light washed over the room in thin golden lines, filtering through the clear crystals of the many windows. She could see many pieces of furniture adorning the room, a table with some chairs, a long chaise, a couch and a delicate vanity among them. Thin columns supported the ceiling in pointed arches, the beams branching out of them like trees, twirling around each other and lacing in a wooden interior canopy.
There was a large balcony at the right end of the room, overlooking the entire realm of Mirkwood. Against the wall opposite to the balcony, and in the center or the room lay an overly large bed, its soft covers the same pale cream shade as the curtains, the borders equally embroidered in the same patterns. Many pillows rested over the bed, as well as many small pale gold decorative cushions. The headboard seemed to be as delicately crafted as the ceiling, the wood curving and entwining like trees, sparkled with some leaves every now and then. There was also a delicate bedside table, as well as a large bookshelf filled to the top with books.
"This is your chamber, my Almarëa." She heard the Elven King say as he entered behind her. The words reached her ears, but it still felt so unreal. The only room she had owned had been a very plain small room where she had been raised. True, the room she had occupied in Imladris had been more than beautiful, but she had always known it was not really her room. It was a guest room in Lord Elrond's house. But this room was hers, and it felt too strange to believe it.
The room looked perfectly clean and well kept; although she could easily tell that it had not been used in years. And yet, every detail, every corner of the room seemed to be carefully maintained, and she noticed that there was a bed in the room instead of the crib there probably was by the time she left Mirkwood. She turned to look at the blond King, only to find his eyes fixed on her, lost in thought.
A soft knock on the door made her turned in its direction, and she saw the Elven King open it widely to allow three fair looking elven maids into the large chamber. The first one had flowing light blond hair, and the other two light brown, but their eyes were the same shade of pale hazel. Their eyes easily found her, and she saw the same reaction that she had seen in the previous maid's eyes in the corridor.
"Your Highness." The blond maid addressed the King respectfully as the other two fair maids walked directly behind her.
"Sidhel" said the King inclining his head politely in greeting with a faint smile. The informality in the greeting gave the impression that this maid was no stranger in the private quarters of the house. "Allow me the pleasure of introducing you my youngest daughter, Almarëa."
The Elven King's eyes sparkled in joy and his smile widened as the words left his mouth, one hand moving in Elerrina's direction. She saw the blond maid's kind hazel eyes widen suddenly as a hand flew to her mouth. Hazel eyes were fixed on her, the maid seeming to have petrified in her spot as if she had seen a ghost. Elerrina did not know how to react, and she stood there in silence staring back at the wide pair of hazel eyes.
"By the Valar." She heard the blond maid whisper as her eyes studied Elerrina from head to toe. "It cannot…she…I thought….It is her, it is little Almarëa. She is so grown, so beautiful." The maid continued to mutter as she stepped closer to her and she could see in the depths of her watering eyes that this elf had known her as a baby, and she too had thought she was dead.
"It is a joy and an honor to meet you again, Your Highness" said the blond maid inclining her head respectfully. Her voice was slightly broken and her smile so wide she doubted it would fade away any time soon. Suddenly she wished she could be as happy about seeing this elven maid as she was of seeing her, but this was a face she did not remember.
The title reached her ears like a strange name. She had never had a tittle before, but she guessed this would be one of the many things she needed to get used to. Her eyes immediately turned to the King, searching some guidance on what to do or say.
A wave of relief washed over her and her body relaxed slightly as she found the strangely familiar pair of infinite blue eyes staring back at her, a broad smile on his lips as he nodded his head to her.
"It is a pleasure as well." She said, surprised by the steady, calmed sound of her voice. She felt everything but that at the moment.
"Almarëa" Said the Elven King softly as he stepped next to her, one hand resting lightly on her left shoulder. "This is Sidhel. She is the head maid for the Family Quarters. And these are her daughters, Lhenes and Riniel. They will see to your needs."
The two sisters inclined their heads simultaneously at the mention of their names, and although they looked very different, Elerrina was not sure which name belonged to which. A cold stab of sorrow pierced her heart as she thought of Faelilla, and she only hoped these two maids would be as kind and friendly as the Imladris' maid had been.
"Should I run a bath for you, Your Highness?" Her eyes turned to meet Sidhel's clear hazel ones, so lost in her own thoughts she has not even heard the question correctly.
"Yes, Sidhel, thank you. I am sure she would like that." The Elven King answered for her, and she was grateful that he did. She watched in silence as the three maids nodded their heads in understanding and left through another door inside the room, the one that connected to the bathing rooms most probably.
King Thranduil took a couple of steps towards her, his fair face serene and soft, looking even more delicate framed by the light blond strands of long hair. His infinite blue eyes were staring directly into hers, so powerful and at the same time so kind.
"I assume you are tired and would like some time to rest before dinner. It is a long journey from Imladris."
Elerrina nodded her head in silence, unable to look away from the piercing stare. She was not really tired, but she wanted nothing more than to be by herself for some time, to go and find Elladan wherever he was inside this labyrinth of a palace. She enjoyed the presence of the King, and at the same time it made her feel nervous, intimidated. There were so many things she wanted to ask him, and yet she could not bring herself to do it. She had nothing to say to him. The Elven King smiled softly in return, not saying anything at her lack of words.
"I took the liberty of commanding some dresses for you. They are in your wardrobe. If they do not please you, you can ask for new ones and they will be made." His voice was gentle, like the melody of a calmed song.
"Thank you." Was all she said, wishing to have anything else to ad. The blond King nodded his head softly before continuing.
"I will take my leave now. Your siblings are waiting for me and I should inform them you are here. I will be at the family wing if you need anything." He offered her a small smile and his infinite blue eyes remained as welcoming, kind and composed as before. Even though his expression did not show it, she felt that he could easily tell she would not say much more.
Her heart ached at the thought, and she longed to have something to say, longed to simply have a conversation with him, but she could not. There were so many things she wanted to ask, so many things she wanted to hear, but she could not gather the courage to ask him. He was her father, and her eyes and spirit seemed to know and remember that, but her mind could not. He was her father, but he was not her dad.
She watched in silence, rooted to the ground as he slowly turned around towards the door, the finery of his robes brushing the cold marble floor with an elegant sound.
"Why?" The question left her lips before she could realize she had pronounced it, her voice so low that at first she thought he had not heard her. Every question, every doubt, was resumed in that single word.
The Elven King turned back around, deep blue eyes expanding infinitely before her. They looked different now, darker, somber, and suddenly she regretted her question, feeling like a small child under the powerful, distant stare of the respected King of Mirkwood. He knew what she was asking, she could see it in his eyes, which were suddenly once again impenetrable, like the cold hard ice over the gentle waters of clear stream. Not a single emotion was visible behind the crystal irises.
"Many reasons." Was his answer, his voice pained barely audible, and she suddenly knew that at the moment she would get nothing more than that.
Whatever the reasons, whatever had forced her to leave Mirkwood, had to had been very unpleasant. His expression was composed, and he seemed taller than ever now, more royal and powerful than before, making her feel as if she had shrunk a couple of inches. She found it impossible to hold his gaze, and she found herself quickly looking at her feet. He did not say anything else, and she watched his back as he silently exited the room, closing the door gently behind him, her unanswered question still roaring inside her head…
Here is chapter 50! I hope you like it! Please let me know what you think of it, I do love all of your comments!
I know I said this would be the last chapter…but it was nearly over 10000 words long, so I cut it in two separate chapters….so 1 more chapter to go, chapter 51, which will most certainly be the last one for sure (unless it is still too long.)
Also, thank you infinitely to those of you who reviewed my latest chapter, it truly means a lot to me to know that you are enjoying the story: smulderalert, SheYun, Sarah, Elf sister, yruniwylio, kaylsX, ForbiddenShadow0, ILoveEomer 3, MinNinniach, Coco99, Glory Bee, Martine9295, mazzmataz, booklover1598, wonderpanda10, Paperlanterns86, xX-MissyMoo-Xx, luckyponygirl, AmazingWriter123, CalathielKat, Jibril, gossipghurl, and CeffylGwyn.
Love,
Elena
