Hey guys, I've got another announcement to make. And yeah, I know, it's another announcement by me, telling how badly things are going and how sorry I am that I'm not updating this fic as much as I'd like or should. Because, well, when I give announcements or A/N, there hardly seems to be good things, I guess.

But anyway, I'm not sure when I'll get back to updating this fic, and there's reasons for that.

I'll start with the good reasons, I guess.

One of them is that I've been chosen to (partly voluntarily) go on an overseas tour sometime next year, and for that, I'll need more training in order to ready myself for that. It won't happen for a while, but rumours say that training will beginning sometime in January. And when that happens, well, writing will still be in the back of my mind, but it'll be taking a back seat to my training.

My second reason correlates with the above reason. Because things might happen, I want to write an original novel, a short(ish) one for someone. Namely, someone that I had feelings for back in middle school. I hope to finish it so that I can fulfill something I told them ten(?) years ago, and that they can read it to their kid. Another reason has to do with another reason that I'll get to later.

A third thing is that I've gotten a second job. General labour. So you might be able to see how that could eat the time away.

A fourth thing is that, to a much lesser extent, I've just been laying around with my brother watching TV and helping around the house when I'm not in my room watching anime.

...So... Onto the bad reason, I guess.

The main reason I haven't been writing is because I lost motivation and just felt lost and detached after an incident that happened to me in August.

Long story short, I was jumped in the street when I got separated from my army guys.

I had something stolen from me, so I went to confront those that had stolen from me. One guy and two girls. They looked at me, pissed off because I had dared to confront them about them stealing something from me. One of the girls, telling me to leave them alone and to stop harassing her friend. Basically, to them, it was okay for them to steal from me, but it wasn't okay to confront them about it.

Then the guy that was with them, told me that I had to go. I argued with him for a bit, but I eventually decided that it really wasn't worth it and decided to leave. That was a mistake, as he then attacked me from behind. It resulted in me getting hit against the corner of a brick wall before I was thrown to the ground and brutally, repeatedly, punched and kicked by him. The two girls cheering him on, telling him to beat me some more and to teach me a lesson and such.

When all was done and over with, they stole more things from me before walking away, laughing, acting triumphant.

It was the closest that I had been to dying, for my head did hit the corner of the brick wall and (later) it reminded me of how one of my elementary classmates had to be rushed to a hospital because of something similar. And, well, it's a frightening experience to find your face getting punched and kicked and stomped on.

It hurt just to get back to my feet. And I had yet to discover that they had stolen from me yet again. I discovered it a few seconds later as I searched my pockets. As I did so, a bouncer, who was standing ten feet, or something short like that, away from where I had been attacked, told me, in his own words:

"You need to get the fuck out of here." To which I said to him that I would, I just needed to find my things. His response. "I don't give a fuck about your shit." All the while, he was sporting this arrogant sneer. His voice containing mock laughter.

I had no choice but to oblige. But not until I found my wallet that had been stripped of it's cash.

I grabbed my empty wallet, and walked. To which then the bouncer called out to me. "Yeah! That's right pussy! You better fucking walk away you fucking pussy! Don't get attacked on your way back pussy!" Or, something like that. I can't remember exactly what he said, but you get the point.

I was not bleeding, nor was I a patron of that nightclub, nor am I a girl (yeah, I'm a guy), so I guess that warranted him to be apathetic to the person that was being attacked and robbed ten(?) feet away from him.

The sergeant that was in the same sleeping area as me asked about the bruises that formed throughout the night, and I replied that it was nothing, feeling shame.

Anyway, I was filled with thoughts of how I couldn't defend myself. And I thought of how if I couldn't defend myself, how could I defend those that I cared about? In worse situations. And how those that were around me when I was beaten, bouncer and passersbys, how they were apathetic to it. Because I've been in fights before, and it's never really bothered me too much, win or lose. It's the lack of empathy and lack of care people showed as I questioned myself as a man and if I deserved to be called one. If I deserved to be in the army. Why I should care for people if that's what they were like? I had many other thoughts as well.

My thoughts and feelings towards a lot of people (or people in general) and things became twisted and disturbed. I didn't feel like doing a whole lot, including writing. I was also harbouring a lot of rage. I thought of how I stopped doing drugs, and that was what I was getting for it? Give me back my artificial happiness, because I was at least getting something.

I didn't go back to the drugs, as much as I wanted to during those early days.

The only people I wanted to be around for a long while, was military people, and my family.

And that's about the short side of that.

Anyway, I'm better now as my thoughts and feelings aren't as twisted or disturbed as before, but I hate certain things now, such as hearing a girl giggle. It makes me think of that girl before she snatched my thing right out of my hands. Makes it hard watching anime at times.

Anyway, along with trying to write a story for someone that I had feelings for in middle school, another reason for writing that story is as a possible outlet. I don't know if I'll get it done it time as I am a slow writer and time is short.

So guys, that's why nothing has happened for so long. I really don't know when I'll be back writing on this fic. Maybe if the army says that I'm not going to the work up training for an overseas tour, or they might say that while I may have done the training for the tour that I still didn't get up to the standard. Maybe after a tour? Who knows. As a reserve, I don't know what'll happen at this point. Maybe one day I'll find that I'm fully recovered from the twisted thoughts and my chance for a tour is dashed.

Hope there's some understanding here.