RWBY and JNPR's twisted lives

Non-canon no. 19

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"Yeah! Now that was awesome!" cried out Ruby with Crescent Rose slung over her shoulder with her and her team walking back to Beacon.

"I can't wait to get back and take a relaxing dip in the pool," Yang spoke out. "And no Weiss you can't join me. You'll just freeze it like last time and make it your personal ice rink."

"Excuse me if I'm trying to have a hobby. It doesn't help when SOMEONE keeps sneaking into my clothes to try and find material for her miniature version of us." pointed out Weiss while looking at Ruby.

"Chibi's, and you're just afraid to put on a bikini." Ruby countered. "Self conscious much?"

"No I'm not self conscious, but you need to learn when to stop sneaking into other people's stuff. That's like if I suddenly started going through your cookie stash."

"Only I take off limbs for such stupidity." she smiled before stopping and looked up. "Hey girls, is it just my mind, or do holes normally appear in the sky?"

"What?" Yang questioned before looking up. Up in the air, the literal space itself had holes that made the sky look like swiss cheese. The holes looked like black and white swirls that were staying in place. "Okay that's weird."

"Uh, what's that?" asked Blake seeing something large fall out of the portals and head towards them.

"Hit the dirt!" Ruby called while jumping out of the way.

The others also moved to safety as a submarine landed right where they were standing.

"Oooh, now that's handy." grinned Ruby. "Now we just need a truck, some rope, and we can take this back to the dorm."

"Ruby!" Yang yelled, "We are not taking a random object that just fell from the sky back-" a gold tiara with a heart shaped gem landed on her head followed by a sash with the words 'Beauty Queen' on it. "Uh, well…"

"Oh sure, some sash and tiara comes out and you're Miss Beauty Queen, but I can't keep a submarine?" pouted Ruby.

"Ruby, how exactly do you even expect that to fit in our dorm?" asked Weiss with a raised eyebrow glancing back at Yang. "I'm sure something else you like will come, if we stay put."

That's when a dunce cap fell out and landed perfectly on her head. The others looked surprised before covering their mouths and tried not to laugh.

Weiss glanced at the hat and growled before they saw a pair of fake cat ears land on Blake's head, making her stop and look at them with the other three trying even harder to hold in their laughter.

Ruby threw her head back and her eyes went wide as more random objects began raining down. "Duck and cover, it's raining pointless junk!"

The team got up and started running and ducking as the area was littered with numerous random objects. The storm continued for almost five minutes, by then the area was totally covered.

Ruby poked her head out from behind a tree and looked around. "Wow...what a dump." she slowly walked out. "Hey guys! We got ourselves a yard sale!"

"Okay was that odd to anyone else?" asked Yang as she looked at a what she could only guess was some kind of Aircraft. "And what on Remnant is a U.S. Army?"

"An army of US?" guessed Ruby.

"That was completely crazy." Blake poked her head out of a giant coffee cup.

Ruby made a dramatic gasp with a wide grin before quickly pulling out her Scroll. "Blake! Take off your bow, we may never get a chance like this again!"

"Wha…" after looking at what she was sitting in she made a deadpanned expression. "Seriously?"

"Blake, as your team leader, I order you to take your bow off. The picture of this will be something that none will be able to resist!" declared Ruby before spotting an arm sticking out of the window of a Cadillac that was covered in a red and black material. "Ello, what's this then?"

They turned as Ruby walked towards the appendage.

"Ruby stop! That might be a dead body!" spoke Yang. "Or someone's hurt, in which case we need to tell a teacher."

"Well if it's the former I call dibs on their wallet." she remarked walking over and poking the arm with a stick. "Hmm, based on my observation as a huntress, yup, he's dead. New wallet for me."

The arm grabbed the stick and swat the back of the girl's hand. "No touchy!"

"Ow!" hissed Ruby who jumped back while rubbing her hand with the others stunned as they saw the arm move and drop the stick before they saw a person slowly sit up in the broken car. He was dressed in a black and red suit with matching mask and two swords on his back. "Oh my gosh! It's a zombie, with really good taste in fashion! I knew this day would come!"

"WHERE!" the man screamed girlishly and ducked down. "PROTECT YOUR BRAINS, DON'T LET THEM BITE YOU!"

The girls blinked in surprise and utter confusion.

"Did he just scream like a little girl?" Asked Blake.

"Don't let it fool you! Zombies are known to act innocent and go for the head!" cried Ruby aiming with Crescent Rose. "You won't take my brains!"

"Ruby, put your weapon away." Yang said to her sister.

"Are you mad? This is the thing that will keep us alive woman!"

"Ugh," Yang rolled her eyes and walked to the car. "You'll have to excuse my sister. She watches way too many horror flicks."

"Oh, me too." smiled the man under the mask before stepping out of the car and turned to it before letting out a choked sob. "Oh and to think, I just stole this today. Oh why did I deserve this!"

"You stole that car?!" Questioned Weiss.

The man quickly stopped sobbing and turned to her. "That depends, are you secretly a junior police force?"

"No, we're hunters." Replied Blake. "And just who are you?"

"Oh, in that case, I did steal this car." he put his fists on his hips and puffed out his chest. "And who am I? I am known as the hottest, sexiest, most badass, most suave, most dynamic man on Earth! They call me…." two black bars seemed to slide down from the top and bottom of the screen with his eyes narrowing. "Deadpool."

The girls only looked at the man like he was crazy. Except for Ruby who couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Ooookkkaaayy. Why don't we take you to our school and introduce you to some nice men who will take you to a place with rooms that have VERY soft walls." Said Blake.

"She means the asylum." Ruby whispered to Deadpool. "It was decent, but the food tasted awful."

"It always is." Deadpool whispered back. "By the way, why are we whispering?"

"Ruby, get away from that man." Yang ordered.

"Come on sis," Ruby whined. "I like him, he's silly."

"Yeah. Besides, we still got one more main character for this god forsaken oneshot. Last time my agent sets this up." he grumbled while pulling out a script from nowhere. "Huh? Hey, what's a Death Stalker?" It was in that moment that a yellow stinger ran through him.

The girls went wide eyed at this and Deadpool only looked down at it and tapped the point eith his finger. "Oh, look at that, I've been impaled, heh heh heh."

The Grimm the stinger belonged to appeared behind Deadpool and it let out a cry while swinging the man around as the girls pulled out their weapons.

"HOLY SHIZNIT, ARE YOU SEEING THIS THING?!" Deadpool pointed at the Death Stalker. "That is a bigass scorpion!"

"We know!" the girls replied before charging.

"I gotta get this on tape!" Deadpool reached into his pocket for his phone and started recording it, all the while the Death Stalker kept swinging him around on its stinger. He was swung and got the image of the Ruby firing off her Crescent Rose at the monster before reconfiguring it into a scyth to swing at its claws. "A scythe and a gun? That is totally badass!"

"How are you not hurt when there is A STINGER DRIVEN THROUGH YOUR BODY!" Weiss screeched.

"Oh it definitely hurts, like a bitch! But you're never more alive until you're almost dea!" he called back with an easy tone. "Yo Beauty Queen! Watch out on your left!"

The Death Stalker swung its claw at the blonde who countered with her own punch firing off her Ember Celica. Its claw was pushed back with Blake jumping on its head and ran up its tail to the end where Deadpool was stuck on. "Hang on Deadpool!"

"Wait! Not yet, I have a plan!" he called back. "Cut off the stinger on my mark!"

"Already ahead of you!" she raised up her blade while holding onto the tail.

"Wait….wait….wait….wait….NOW!"

Blake swung her blade and cut through the stinger.

As he descended he pulled out his swords and drove them right through its eyes then straight to the brain. It let out a loud cry before slumping down and slowly grew silent. "Damn, that was awesome! So where's the nearest taxidermist, I want to get this bad boy stuffed."

"Sorry, that won't work." spoke Ruby as the Death Stalker's body slowly disappeared with the wind with Deadpool falling on the ground.

"Aw man!" Deadpool complained before the stinger also disappeared and left a gaping whole in his body. Something that gave the girls a clear view of the insides of his chest.

"Ew gross!" Ruby giggled slipping her hand in the hole. "That thing went right through you."

"Ruby! Don't stick your hand in there!" cried out Yang while Weiss looked green and covered her mouth while Blake looked away while trying to keep her own bile from coming out.

"You think that's bad." he reached up and pulled off his mask. "How's this for a mug shot?"

Weiss and Blake ran to a tree where they threw up while Yang and Ruby stared and were utterly speechless.

"Wow…" Ruby was able to get out. "I bet when you go to the bathroom the mirrors smash themselves just to avoid having your reflection in them."

"Ruby!" Yang walked over with a frown. "That's extremely rude! Especially when he just helped us kill that Death Stalker."

"It's okay, hell my own friend said it looks like an avocado was hate fucked by an older uglier avocado." he pulled his mask back down. "So, I'm just gonna get this outta the way. What are your names, and where exactly am I?"

"Well the two in black and white puking in the bushes are Blake and Weiss. This bodacious blonde bruiser is my older sister Yang, And I'm Ruby, leader of team RWBYZ."

Deadpool counted his fingers. "Hold on, I might not be a fan of math, or science, or history, or anything that makes me sit still for longer than ten seconds, but what does the Z stand for?"

"My dog Zwei."

"A dog? Wait a sec, does he talk and do you girls also go out in a van solving mysteries?" he asked.

"No," Weiss replied walking back over. "We fight the creatures of Grimm like the one that left that- Wait, is it healing?!" she asked as they saw the flesh and organs slowly meld together in his chest and patch together before the hole was sealed.

"Wow, that's some Semblance."

"Sem-what? That's a funny way to say mutation."

"It's not a mutation. It's something anyone can unlock with their Aura." spoke Blake.

"What's Aura? Do you mean the northern lights?"

"What are Northern Lights?" asked Ruby scratching her head.

"Wait, are your really a mutant?" Asked Weiss.

"Not at first, let's just say in my search to find a cure to the cancer in my heart, lungs, brain, and prostate I ended with the cure to everything."

"So you can just heal your body from any injury? Like, ANY injury?" asked Ruby with interest.

"Well I did have to cut off my own hand once to get out of a pair of handcuffs." Deadpool said before laughing, "The best part was I had my middle finger sticking up and it stayed that way."

"Wow! So if you got your whole body blown up, you'd come back?" asked Ruby with stars in her eyes.

"I was completely blown up, twice, and the first time I pulled my naked ass out of the ashes of the warehouse that burned down on top of me. Did I mention I was naked?"

"Yes." spoke Weiss. "Now please stop mentioning it."

"Can do lacy britches." Deadpool saluted. "So, what's the name of this country or planet I'm on?"

"Let's go back to Beacon and we'll fill you in." Ruby said to Deadpool.

"Lead the way little red."

After a relatively short walk, they arrived to find even more object cluttered around the courtyard.

"Damn, looks like you guys got a huge yard sale on your hands." remarked Deadpool as he walked around.

"It wasn't like this before," Said Weiss. "These crazy holes in the sky opened up and things started falling out. Like you apparently."

"Ren look what I found!" Nora screeched getting Team RWBYZ's and Deadpool's attention as she popped out from under a pile holding a cradle. "It's perfect for our first baby!"

"Nora." Yang waved. "What happened here?"

"I don't know. Stuff just started to fall out of the sky and dropped all sorts of stuff around. I'd hurry and find something you like before someone else gets its."

"I figured Glynda would of had all this cleaned by now." said Weiss.

"Well yeah, if she hadn't been knocked out cold by a falling black cauldron with a face on it." Nora shrugged.

"So you mean no one's here to stop us from grabbing what we want?" grinned Ruby. "Ladies, and Deadpool, it's shopping time!"

"You read my mind, every man for himself!" called Deadpool as he and Ruby started running through the piles.

"Ooh I found a Kunai!" Ruby said holding up the dagger.

"You ever practice knife throwing?" asked Deadpool while looking inside a discarded clothes pile. He bent over before the knife landed right where the sun didn't shine. "AIIIEEEEE!"

"Does that count?" she asked while he fell over and rolled down the pile.

"Okay… I admit… that was a good shot." he wheezed out while giving her a thumbs up before he cried out. "Oh mama! Right down main street! I haven't felt that much pain since the last time I tried flirting with Rogue AND Jean at the same time."

Ren blinked and snapped several times while making several hand gestures.

"What did he say?" Ruby asked Nora.

"He said, and I quote, 'Holy mother of god! How is he still possible to talk, let alone stand up from that?', unquote."

"Apparently he has a mutation that helps his body heal from any injury." said Weiss. "Whatever you do don't ask him to take off his mask, ever!" she whispered as Deadpool removed the weapon.

"Ruby! Why did you just do that!" frowned Yang walking up the pile to her sister.

"Ah come on Yang, How often do people with mutant healing powers come around? This guy is like the ultimate punching bag, no offense D-man."

"None taken little red, I've dealt with WAY worse stuff anyway." he waved before spotting Jaune and Pyrrha looking at the piles. "You two!"

The two looked over at him and blinked.

"You two are the big power couple in all of RWBY, next to Ruby and Weiss cuddling, Yang and Blake kissing, and Nora banging Ren." he spoke walking over to them. "So for the love of the entire fanbase, kiss already! We never got it before today, so the sooner you do it the sooner the fans can make new fanfictions of you guys."

Most onlookers only stared with absolute confusion before he broke out laughing. "Just messin' with ya. I just love making people go like 'what the hell?' its funny."

"Hey, I found something." spoke Blake pulling out a small manga with the cover having a brown haired boy with a long pinked haired girl.

"Oh that's just Rosario Vampire, I'm more of a comic book fan myself, but when it comes to manga, they get more freedom to show full on nudity. If you plan on reading it you better be prepared to see panties, a lot of panties." spoke Deadpool.

Blake blushed while opening it a little before a hole in the sky opened up and several more figures fell out while crying out.

"IN COMING!" yelled Nora.

Everyone around the spot rushed to dodge while the people crashed into a pile of sweaters.

"Dibs on whatever's in their pockets if they're dead!" yelled Ruby.

"Dang! Beat me to it." grumbled Deadpool while the people started to pick themselves out of the pile.

"Bite my shiny metal ass!" said a robot.

"Bender, I think you broke one of my ribs." groaned a red headed guy in a red jacket under the robot who stood up and looked around in confusion.

"Woah! A robot with attitude and and….that guy." Ruby said.

The man got up while trying to fix his back while the robot walked off the pile and took a cigar out before taking a puff of it. "Ah, much better. So what's goin' on here? Someone taking out the trash?"

"Wait, where's Leela!" the redhead panicked.

"I'm in here Fry, I'm looking for my contact lens." said a voice from the pile. "It's hard to find with all these sweaters though." A purple haired woman stuck her head out and the onlookers recoiled seeing she only had one eye.

"Ayayay!" Ruby and Deadpool blurted.

"Uh, is this it?" asked Jaune seeing a clear lens near the bottom of the pile.

"Oh thanks, I can't see a damn thing with this." she pulled herself out and moved down before taking the lens and put it over her eye while blinking to get it in place. "Alright, much better. Now can someone tell us where we are?"

"A place full of the tackiest junk I ever saw." said another woman in a pink outfit that left her belly exposed, and black styled hair.

"Amy this isn't the time for fashion advice." said Leela.

"In short, this is some place called Beacon, I'm Deadpool, or D-man to Little Red, that's said girl, Little Red's busty sister, Miss Ninja reading the vampire manga, and the lady in white is Lacy Britches."

"Hey!" Weiss glared at him.

"Well hello tall, dark, and possibly handsome." Amy waved with a seductive tone.

"Hello stereotypical asian slut." he waved back.

"Ahahahaha! He got it right on the bullseye!" laughed the robot before he pulled out a beer bottle and started guzzling it.

"J-Just what's going on!" cried Yang. "Who are you three anyway?"

"Uh Yang, there's four." said Ruby.

"I'm not counting the robot."

"Say what?!" Bender shouted before belching fire.

"Aw that now that is sick!" Ruby smiled ear to ear.

"Thats for sure." grimace Weiss.

"Oh I see. I'm the only one here so suddenly you gotta problem with me?" frowned Bender to Yang. "Well at least I don't look like some twentieth century barbie doll."

"Yeah what are you some kinda robophobe?" added Fry.

"I just don't like seeing one that looks like he's ready to pass out from being an alcoholic." she replied with a frown.

"Alcohol is the only thing keeping me functional. The minute I sober up I start to power down. Its how I was designed."

The sisters stared at him before Ruby jumped and wrapped her arms and legs around him in a hug. "You're like a robot version of my uncle."

"What the, hey get the hell off." he frowned trying to pry her off only to see she wouldn't budge an inch. "Man you're strong for a little runt."

"I can already see you and Deadpool being best friends with my uncle. Oooh! I wonder who'd win in a drink off!"

"Well I hope he's big on losin'. Now where the floozy bots at?"

"We don't got any of those, but we do got these!" Deadpool picked up a fridge magnet. "Here catch!" he chucked it at Bender.

"NOOOOO!" Bender yelled before the magnet landed on his head. "She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes!" Bender sang and started to dance. "She'll be comin round the mountain when she comes! GOD DAMN IT! She'll be comin' round the mountain, she'll be comin' round the mountain, she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes!"

"Uh….why is he singing?" asked Blake with confusion.

"Who cares, it's funny." laughed Ruby while still holding on to Bender. "Hey Leelu! Is he for sale? My uncle would love a robot like him who can sing and dance too."

"Sorry, he's company property, and its Leela." the cycloptic woman said taking the magnet off.

"Gah!" Bender stopped and panted. "Don't do that! My processor gets all messed up with those damn things on me! And could someone get this clingy twerp off me!"

Yang glared with red eyes and walked up to the automaton. She looked him in the eyes before grabbing him by his arm then tore it off and smacked him in the face with it making his head spin. "Insult my sister again and I'll rip off that tiny little antenna next."

"Damn, who knew she hated machines so much. Is she secretly amish?" Deadpool whispered to Weiss.

"No, just very protective of her little sister. Don't ask about the scars."

"Ah! Hey! I need that arm for my booze!" Cried Bender as his head stopped.

"Am I clear bucket head?" Yang leaned in close. "Because one more wrong word, and I turn you into a scrap pile to join the rest of this stuff."

"Okay, jeez. Dumb blonde." This got him a fist to the head sending it through the air. "Comin' through!" he called out flying between Fry and Leela.

"Wow, I like her guts." remarked Leela with a smile. "She reminds me of myself when I was younger. Now lets figure out where we are." she started to press the buttons on her arm band.

Bender's head rolled along the ground before he came to a stop. "Oh man, I'm gonna be feeling that."

"Are you alright?"

He looked over and saw Penny looking down at him. "Yeah, accept that girl won't let go of my- hey, wait a sec. Are you an android?"

"Why yes, but I would prefer not to make that known. How could you tell?"

"It's mostly in your voice." he said before doing a quick scan of her. He looked her over head to toe. "How old are you?"

"I was manufactured three years ago."

Bender's antenna extended. "Well cutie. Why don't you get me back on my body over there and I'll teach you how New New York robots have fun."

"What is New New York?"

"Say what now?" he blinked.

"That's odd, I'm not getting any bars." Leela spoke. "Where the hell are we?"

"Remnant." spoke Ruby while squinting her eyes. "Are you really a cyclops?"

"Technically she's a mutant who was born in the sewer." Fry replied.

"The sewers! Ew!" Weiss shuddered.

"Fry you idiot." Leela glared.

"Mutant eh?" Deadpool walked over while draping an arm over her shoulders. "What a coincidence, I'm one too. Guess that makes us…Soul mates. What's say you, me, and kung pow chick here go somewhere more private."

Leela frowned and took his arm off and dropped it before crossing her arms. "I'd rather make out with a cactus."

"Don't mind her." Amy said putting an arm on his chest. "She's got a rod up her butt that has a rod up its butt."

"Damn that sounds kinky." he sighed before pulling her closer. "In that case, what say you and me go somewhere quiet and play hide the sausage?"

"Great, another pair of sex addicts." Jaune rolled his eyes.

"Don't knock it till you try it with that redhead!" Deadpool called while he and Amy walked off.

Penny walked over and put Bender's head back on his body after Yang pulled Ruby off.

"Ah, much better." sighed Bender.

"Penny! When did you get here?" Ruby asked who hugged the android.

"Not too long ago, I detected a large anomaly and came to investigate."

"You mean the fact we've got crazy stuff falling from the sky, or the fact people who are mutants and robots falling out of the sky?" asked Weiss.

"Actually, it's strange energy fluctuations."

"Hold on, if that's the case, would it have something to do with random portals in the sky?" asked Blake.

"It's hard to say," Penny said looking over to JNPR. "Have any of you noticed anything that might be the cause?"

"Not really." Nora replied with Ren shaking his head. "But just to clarify, anything we find here is free, right? Because I am not going to jail and getting a record. That will effect me and Ren's kids in the future."

"As far as I see it, no one's stopping us so it's all fair game." Ruby smirked and went back to digging in the piles.

"No way." Yang pulled Ruby back. "We don't know where this stuff came from, but this feels like stealing, and the last thing we need is some out of this world cop coming here, and putting you in some futuristic jail, so no taking."

"Well while you guys talk it out, me and the redhead are gonna go...scope around for anything weird." Bender spoke pointing to Penny. "Oh and if you see any beer lying around, have a party or save some for me. Later meat bags."

"Later tincan." spoke Yang.

"Okay I love you buh-bye." Ruby waved as they left. "Girls, I got an idea. My uncle comes by, sees that guy, and takes him home. It'll be great!"

"Didn't you hear Leela say he was company property?" questioned Blake.

"I'm sure they won't mind." she waved off. "Come on girls, you all should really look around before the good stuff is all gone."

"Yeah there's actually some pretty cool stuff here." Nora said.

"I won't find anything around he-" Weiss stopped before spotting a white gown with epaulettes and a blue scarf in a pile that seemed to sparkle and her eyes widened. "Oh my gosh! That dress is beautiful!" she said before she ran over.

"Ya know you should really consider something else then white, otherwise it'll leave behind stains." spoke Ruby. "Look at me and Blake here. If we get dirt or blood, no one will notice."

Yang looked at an odd gauntlet and put it on her hand, suddenly she was changed into green bulgy creature with no head and eyes on its chest. She then flung the gauntlet off her hand, turning back to normal then kicked it away. "No thank you!"

"So how's that comic?" Ruby asked Blake looking over her shoulder while Weiss went behind a truck and changed into the white dress.

"Well… it's kinda… lewd."

"Oh come on, it can't be that lewd, whatever that means."

"Every other page shows a girl's skirt going up to where you can see their panties."

"Do not show Ruby that!" Yang called out while looking at the pile.

"Come on Fry, let's see if we can find anyone who can help us." Leela said pulling the redhead by his jacket.

"Can we at least take some time to go around and see what cool stuff is around?"

Leela narrowed her eye at him making him lower his head as they continued to walk.

"He's whipped." Ruby said quietly. "Oh! Found soda!" she rushed over and picked up a can with a label on it. "Hey Blake, what the heck is Slurm?"

"Don't drink that!" Leela called. "Its worm excrement that's passed off as soda!"

Ruby immediately dropped it and her face turned green while Weiss heard and all four let out a collective "GROSS!"

JNPR shivered while idly looking through a pile with Pyrrha finding a brand new china set in a well decorated cabinet. "I'm surprised this survived the drop."

"Think we should keep it?" asked Jaune. "It looks good and might be nice to have around, but would we have enough space?"

"Only if Ren doesn't end up pinning Nora against it in their 'activities'."

"Hey! Even we know when to be careful." Nora spoke before holding up a pill bottle. "Viagra? Must be some kinda illegal drug." she shrugged and tossed the pills away.

"I found an octagon shaped rock with a piggy on it!" Ruby said holding it with a tight grip before heat beams shot out of her eyes. "Woah! That. Is. Awesome! Now let all beware of Ruby Rose and her laser eyes!"

"Gimme that!" Yang said taking the rock from Ruby and tossed it away.

"No! Yang! I would have shared! In about a year or two." she whined. "So unfair."

"From now on any random thing you find you bring to me." Yang instructed.

"Fine, then any random thing you find you bring to me." Ruby smiled. "Sounds fair right?"

"Ruby-" just as she was about to berate her sister Weiss stepped out in the dress. "Wow Weiss, that dress actually looks pretty good on you."

"I know, if my mom could see me now." Weiss smiled with a twirl. "I'm just lucky it was my size, I was worried it'd be too big."

"Yeah its pretty good, for a rich girl." Nora shrugged.

"But what's with those straps on the left sleeve?" asked Ruby.

Weiss looked at them. "I'm not sure, maybe it's a mess up by the tailor. "She said before pushing them down and felt her skin get pricked by what felt like tiny needles and two eyes opened on her chest, "Ouch!"

"What's wrong?" asked Blake looking up from the book before there was a blinding flash. "Woah!"

"W-What's happening?!" cried Weiss feeling like the dress was shifting over her body and getting tighter. "Help!"

The light faded and all were dumbstruck by the sight. Weiss was wearing an outfit with a top white breastplate with the two eyes in clear view with her arms covered up in the long sleeves and her bare belly was shown along with a white bottom that looked like a tight fitting g-string. On her legs were what looked like clear stockings with high heels on her feet with matching white gloves over her hands.

Weiss' face slowly grew red as a tomato. "WHAT IN THE WORLD!"

"Woah! Weiss! Cover yourself!" cried Yang covering Ruby's eyes.

Jaune and Ren collapsed with bleeding noses while Nora and Pyrrha blushed with the former going to the piles and tossing clothes from the piles.

"Pyrrha help me look! I need an outfit like that!" called Nora. "Preferably something in pink!"

"B-But Nora! Shouldn't we make sure Jaune and Ren are alright?"

"Nosebleeds like that are simple compared to what I've seen. Besides, if we find our own outfits like that, you're sure to make Jaune putty in your hands while me and Ren can get to it without any lose of time and really make sure no one can take him from me!"

"I LOOK LIKE A WHORE!" screamed Weiss. "GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF!"

"Come on Weiss, it's not that bad." waved off Ruby moving Yang's hands from her eyes. "Holy Dust! Wow...well, if anything, it shows you're a proud woman who's not afraid to show what she's got. And it shows you're not so uptight. Can I take a picture and see if your sister wants a copy?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" she screamed and ran to the nearest form of cover, but that's when she felt a boost of speed and the two teams saw she was running faster than a trained runner. "What in the-"

"WOW! And it can make you super fast!" smiled Ruby before turning to Yang and Blake. "Girls! We need our own suits like that one!"

"Not on your little life!" Yang screamed. "In fact, we're going straight to the dorm and forgetting all this stuff. Ozpin and the teachers will have it all cleaned up and then things go back to normal."

"What about Deadpool and the others?'

"I don't know, and I don't care. That guy is not a good influence on you and if they came from some other world or whatever, they'll find their way back. But staying around all this stuff could lead to things getting worse or who knows what."

"I'm not going anywhere until I get this ridiculous thing off." Weiss insisted.

"Ooh then does that mean I can have it?" asked Nora.

"Ugh hold on." Yang walked over and started tugging on the outfit's breast plate. "What the, is this thing glued on you?" she started tugging harder.

"Ow! Are you trying to rip my boobs off you….boob?"

"Well then you try getting it off. What made it turn into this any way?"

"I don't know. All I did was push these straps down, then felt something prick me, there was a flash, and then I felt it get tighter and become this!"

Yang looked at the straps. "Have you tried undoing them?" she said as she pulled the strap off.

Weiss felt the clothes get looser before they all saw it return to the dress from before. "Oh thank sweet Dust! If anyone else saw me in that I think I'd jump into a Nevermore's nest."

Elsewhere Bender and Penny walked around Beacon.

"I'm detecting the energy levels spiking and lowering over and over." remarked Penny.

"Yeah great, hey what's say we get to know each other better?" Asked Bender.

"Good idea. You first."

"Well, I'm Bender Bending Rodriguez. I'm a Bending unit I can lift and bend iron girders easy." he tried flexing his arms to show muscle. "And what sorta unit are you gorgeous?"

"I'm a new age combat droid. I'm capable of generating aura making me just as human as any other Atlas robot." she replied. "Do you see anything that might be causing the disruption?"

"I see something disrupting." He muttered looking down at her backside. "What say after we're done we go get ourselves a couple of beers? My treat."

"No thank you, I don't drink." Said Penny without changing her tone. "Plus any liquid would interfere with my inner system."

"What! Then what's powering you?"

"A highly advanced power cell." Penny answered. "But I never heard of a robot that could drink like a real human, I'm quite jealous."

"Well if you want, I know a way to make you feel human." Bender spoke with a suave tone leaning against the wall.

"And what might that be?"

"Well…." He leaned in and whispered in her ear.

She blinked and listened before jumping and slapped him. "Bender! That's indecent! Not to mention it could be harmful to my programming! Hmph!" She turned and walked away.

He stumbled and stopped his head from spinning. "Just my luck. the only fembot around and she's one of them safe types." he looked around and groaned. "Well, only thing left to do is get drunk around this boring place. Yo floozybot, there a bar in this joint?"

Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened before turning back to Bender. "Ugh, No you intoxicated trashcan!" she called back and brought out her swords.

"Woah there! Woah, I'm leaving." he spoke holding his hands up while slowly backing away before he ran for his artificial life.

Penny huffed and put her swords away. "Oooh, that's the last time I try to be friendly or civilized to any other robotic life form then myself."

Team RWBY went to their room and wanted to put this day behind them. But when they started to relax they heard a loud bang followed by music from outside the room.

Yang growled and pulled on her hair. "Oh what now!"

"I got it." spoke Blake getting up and walked over and opened the door before blinking and rubbed her eyes. "Uh, guys? I think I might be dreaming."

"What, did Deadpool come back and start a rave?" asked Yang.

"No, but it looks like someone is setting up a party, and I'm seeing a lot more people with a few colorful horses."

"Say what now?" Ruby said and ran over. Both were seeing streamers and balloons with several small horses walking by and talking with music in the halls and other odd people walking around without looking surprised.

"This whole place is going nutsy-cuckoo round here!" Bellowed Ruby. "Please for all of Vale don't let this be a dream! After all when the whole world goes crazy I start to look sane."

"Hey little red!" called Deadpool running over. "You gotta see the big party going on in the training hall place, I want you to meet my new friend."

"Coming!" Yelled Ruby running through the hall.

"Damn it!" Yang got up before running out after them. "Get back here!"

"Here we go again." Blake and Weiss spoke. They ran out after them while dodging people and odd creatures and ponies around them.

"What fresh hell is this?" Weiss wonders.

"I'm just scared what Deadpool meant by new friend." Yang said and shook her head.

"Uh Yang, am I seeing a yellow Kuala eating sandwiches over there?" Blake informed as she pointed.

They turned and saw a small creature munching on a sandwich with a stack of them beside it before it turned and wave. "Hey how's it going?" He grabbed two sandwiches from the stack and held them out. "Ham or tuna?"

"It….It….It talked." spoke Weiss with wide eyes. "A talking yellow koala who eats sandwiches….yup, this is all one giant dream and we're all in it. What's next? My sister doing the nutcracker? Or a dinosaur playing the tuba? At this point nothing can shock me!"

"Duck!" Yang yelled pushing them down as a flying carpet flew over head.

"If you three wanna get to the big party going on, I'd hurry." remarked the 'koala' before he bit into more of his sandwich.

"Okay, Mr. talking Koala."

"The name's Reuben, thank you very much." he huffed.

The three picked themselves up and ran as fast as they could. They headed for the training hall and kicked the doors open where they saw it was filled to the brim with all sorts of characters living it up like a frat party.

"WOOOOO PARTY!" Yelled a guy running by with a toga and wreath on his head.

"This is madness!" cried Blake. "Just how many people came out of nowhere?!"

Weiss was to preoccupied with looking around she didn't noticed the beast in regal attire she walked into. "Oh, sorry ab-" she was cut off and went wide eyed with Yang and Blake.

"Beg Pardon ladies." he said with a gruff voice and let them pass.

The girls blinked and walked past before Weiss spotted Coco sitting in one of the seats and ran over. "Coco! What's going on?!"

"Woah, hey there guys! Did you come to party too?" asked Coco while holding a wooden mug of ale. "Well this party is gonna really help you cut loose."

"You're not concerned in the least with what's happening here!?" uttered Yang.

"Yang, considering I found a lot of good stuff in those piles and these guys are throwing a great party, I'll worry AFTER it's over. Oh! That reminds me, let me introduce you to a cool guy!" she turned to the crowd and called out. "Soul! Hey Soul! I got a few friends I want you to meet!"

An albino boy dressed in street clothes walked up. "Yo, what's up, name's Evans, but my friends call me Soul Eater." he smiled showing off his sharp teeth.

"Girls, this guy is one cool dude." smiled Coco. "And this whole crowd is filled with them, like Star over there doing flaming limbo."

The girls turned and saw a spot with a crowd parted to show a blond girl with hearts on her cheeks bending her back and moving under a burning stick.

"Star I think this is a bad idea!" called a brown haired boy with a red jacket.

"Lighten up Marco." said Star with a wide grin. She reached the other side and stood up with a cheer with the crowd around cheering at the same time. "Come on Diaz, let's really go wild!"

"And if you think she's energetic, you should see the party planner, she's got more bounce then a super ball."

"Coco, do you know where Ruby is? She was dragged into this party by Deadpool, he wears a red and black suit with a mask on." spoke Yang.

"The weirdo with the swords? They're with Pinkie Pie."

"Who the heck is-" Blake was cut off as a purple cat with a witch's hat landed on her head.

"Soul, Maka's looking for you."

"Alright alright Blair." he sighed while the rest of RWBY looked at the cat with half shock.

She turned and smiled. "Hi, if you're here to party, I'd recommend the beer spot over there, they're really going at it." she remarked pointing to the other side with a paw where Cardin was being held upside down by a gorilla while drinking from the keg.

"Chug! Chug! Chug!" His team cheered.

"I'm pretty sure Ban could take them without breaking a sweat. But he and some guy with a cape and a screw loose are having an arm wrestling contest." remarked Soul. "So you see some guys jumping around, you might wanna duck."

"Uh...good advice?" Weiss commented. "But can you tell us just where we can find Ruby and this...Pinkie Pie?"

"Just look for the pink pony, can't miss her." Soul said as Blair hopped on his shoulder and he walked away.

"And another bit of advice, try not to get in front of a drunk conga line or you're screwed." laughed Coco before walking off while drinking from her mug.

"Okay, pink pony." said Yang. "How hard can that be?"

"Look around us." spoke Weiss with numerous other ponies walking around, most a pinkish color. "It's hard to tell which is which, and some look like the exact same!"

"Just find the one with the closest to Coco's description." said Blake

The other two nodded before all three split up and looked around the hall.

'How are we supposed to find anybody in this crowd?' thought Blake as she looked left and right before a toothy smile appeared out of nowhere. "Wha-?"

"Looking for something?" It asked before two eyes appeared followed by pink and purple stripes that turned into a somewhat overweight cat.

She jumped back. "Who are you and why did you just show up out of nowhere?"

"I'm a Cheshire, it's what I do." He said. "Can you stand on your head?" He tilted his shoulders and his head rolled to the floor with his body standing on it.

"No, but maybe you can help." she shook her head to focus. "I'm looking for my friend Ruby. She wears red and is with a pink pony, and might be with some guy in a red and black outfit who's completely insane."

"Aren't we all?" He said before letting out a cackle with his tongue sticking out.

She groaned. "I'm serious. After all the crazy stuff we've seen, me and my friends need to find her before something worse happens."

"Well if you're in such a rush, they went….that way." He replied pointing in two different directions.

Blake felt her eye twitch before walking the left way. 'Damn cat.'

"Ruby!" Weiss called out over the music. "Ruby!"

"I'm down here!" called a voice beside her which belonged to a burgundy skinned female with darker burgundy hair with a headband. "Do I know you?"

"Oh no, I'm looking for my friend, dark hair, red hood, silver eyes. Have you seen her?"

"No, but my friends might know." she turned to a blue skinned female with long puffy hair in a blue dress. "Hey Sapphire, this girl is looking for her friend, think you can lend her a hand?"

"Unfortunately with all the chaotic energy in here, my future vision hasn't been very accurate. There are too many possibilities coming into play."

"Future vision?" spoke Weiss. "Wait, let me guess, you can see the future, right?"

"Normally yes, but now it's too widely split to get any accurate reading. I'm sorry I can't be of more help."

"That's alright, thank you though." she nodded.

"Now if you'll excuse us, we gotta really get into this party." grinned Ruby pulling Sapphire close who giggled and spun themselves around before their forms started glowing. They melded together and a new, much taller figure with three eyes took her place.

Weiss blinked from surprise as the figure nodded with a smile.

"Hello, I'm Garnet, I hope you find your friend." she spoke before walking off.

"This just keeps getting weirder." Commented Weiss.

Yang looked frantically through the crowd, nudging people aside while seeing more and more crazy people or creatures. "Ruby where are you!"

"Hey, you looking for the girl in red?" Asked a blue hedgehog with shoes on his feet.

"Yes! Please tell me you've seen her?"

"Over by the stage."

Yang blinked and facepalmed. "Of course, that completely slipped my head. Thanks...uh?"

"Names Sonic, later." He said before he ran off at high speed.

"I'm not questing it, just keep moving." she spoke before making her way to the stage as fast as she could while dialing the others on her Scroll. "Guys! Ruby's on the stage, head that way!"

"Right."

"Understood."

Yang put the device away and pushed more people aside before spotting the stage with Ruby and Deadpool dancing with a pink pony that had a poofy mane and tail.

"BEST! PARTY! EVER!"

"RUBY!"

"Yang! You made it!" smiled Ruby. "You gotta meet the one who got this whole party going on. Meet the Element of laughter, Pinkamena Diane Pie of Equestria. Otherwise known as Pinkie Pie."

"And party maniac!" laughed Deadpool.

"Hi there!" smiled the pony zipping up to Yang before shaking her hand. "I heard all about you from Ruby and I'm so happy to meet a great sister who cares about her all the time! I have three sisters who I love too, but I'm not sure if they'd let me sleep in the same bed as them like you two, but we still love each other."

"Uh...sure." Yang replied as the rest of her team showed up. "So you're the one responsible for all this? All the stuff outside and all these people?"

"Not really. All I did was fall in one of those piles of pillows, see everyone around in confusion, and I figured, if we're all here and we didn't know each other, I thought throwing a big friendly party here would be a great way to help us calm down and get to know each other!" she smiled. "I think it's really working."

"But what about when they want to go home? They're going to freak when they learn they're all stuck here." said Blake.

"Well I know someone who knows how to do a lot of neat stuff." she smiled before a man went flying and crashed onto the stage. "Oh, hi!"

"Ow, that damn Ban." groaned the man who stood up to show it was Qrow cracking his neck. "Who knew he was THAT strong?"

"Uncle Qrow!" Waved Ruby with joy.

"That's your Uncle?" Asked Weiss.

"Of course, who else were you expecting?"

"Ruby, you won't believe it but the guy that beat me like a rag doll is immortal! I shot him in the face and he healed in seconds." he turned as a man in red leather like pants and a top with long sleeves that left his chest opened with spiky silver hair walked over. "Ban! Meet my nieces Yang and Ruby, the ones I was telling you about."

"Nice to meet ya." He waved.

"Oh, so we got another immortal in here eh?" Deadpool walked up to Ban. "I bet I could regenerate limbs faster than you."

"Regenerate? I put the severed limbs back and the wound fixes itself."

Deadpool turned to Qrow. "You sir! I want you to rip me apart and him too, we're gonna settle this age old question."

"I can help!" Said Ruby pulling out her scythe with a mad grin.

"Hack away." smirked Ban.

"They cannot be serious!" said Weiss.

"No way!" spoke Yang getting in between them. "Ruby! Put your weapon down, and you Pinkie, this party is over."

"Aw!" Whined Ruby and Pinkie.

"Uh Yang, stopping the party might not be the best plan," said Qrow. "Everyone will be wanting to go home, and it might cause a panic if they learn they're stuck here."

"Well no need to worry." spoke another voice before a serpentine figure rose up and gained limbs before it became a mish mash of various animal parts. "I was gonna send them back anyway."

"Discord! You found me!" Cheered Pinkie.

"Hard to miss you." he smiled while seeing Deadpool. "Hey there Wade, hook up with anyone I take it?"

"Just some slut Asian in pink. First time I ever asphyxiated someone during sex instead of using it to kill someone." he replied. "And I was thinking of taking Pinkie here for a ride if you know what I mean."

"Sorry, you're not my type." Shrugged the pony.

"Dang!" he snapped his fingers while the girls cringed at the image. "Oh well, wonder if Amy's up for round….ten I think?"

"Make it a quickie. I need to fix all this and get Pinkie back before I get more grief from Celestia."

"Wait! Just who are you?" asked Yang. "Yes we know your name, but I mean, is it really that simple for you?"

"My dear, I'm the spirit of chaos, I can do anything, but there are some cry babies in the rest of the omniverse that just don't know how to have fun." he huffed.

"Anything?" asked Ruby.

"Anything."

"So if you wanted to say….give me the power to do anything, you could do that?"

"Sorry, in a past life just to cause chaos maybe, but I'm a reformed Draconequus. I don't have many friends and I need to dial it back on the Chaos if I want to keep them."

"Can we at least keep the stuff we found? I mean Weiss found a nice dress I think she doesn't wanna get rid of."

"The hell I don't!" Weiss replied.

"Um just out of curiosity, what's the Omniverse?" asked Blake.

"Simple. Imagine infinite worlds upon infinite worlds with different logics, physics, evolution, characters, you name it. Anything yet to be created, will be. It never ends. Each world stems from another constantly branching in infinite ways and each one branches out just as much. Think of it like a very complex tree."

"Sounds like too much math, which I don't wanna do." spoke Ruby holding her head.

"If you can do anything is there any way you can erase all these events from our minds?" Asked Weiss.

"Of course, you offend me just assuming that's hard." he smirked. "I'll probably have to do the same with most of the folks here, then put them and everything else back in their proper worlds at the exact moments I sent them here."

"Aww, and here I thought we were all gonna get hammered."

"Excuse me but did you say, you sent all that stuff and these people here?" Questioned Yang.

"It was an accident, scouts honor." He said before a scout uniform appeared on his body. "I was looking through the countless other worlds when Lady Bouncalot startled me." He said pointing to Pinkie. "I got the hiccups as a result and left the portal open while berating her, and each hiccup opened rifts in the worlds."

"I fell in by accident." Added Pinkie.

"And because I wasn't tuned to any specific world it took me awhile to find where everything and everyone went."

"Please tell me all of this is gonna be over soon." spoke Blake.

"Oh sure, I could do it with a snap of my fingers."

"Please! I can't take any of this anymore." pleaded Weiss looking back to see four skeletons doing the skeleton dance.

"You better do it, she might break." remarked Ruby.

"Oh alright," said Discord. "Attention, attention everyone!"

Slowly the music stopped with everyone turning with confusion.

"I'm sure you're all having fun, but it's time to send you all back to where you belong. Those of you who want to forget will have your memories wiped and this will all seem like a dream."

"What if we don't wanna forget?" called one guy.

"It's your choice, just don't tell anyone back home or they might think you're crazy." Discord informed. "So say your goodbyes and hold onto your lunches, this might feel weird."

Everyone in the training hall bid all their new friends good bye before they were ready to take off. Slowly portals opened up near them with each of them forming lines and walking through to get home.

"Finally everything can get back to normal." Sighed Yang.

"Aw, and here I was hoping for Deadpool to spend some more time with me and uncle."

"The last thing we need is the three of you hanging out." spoke Yang. "In fact, Discord I don't care what Ruby says erase this from ALL our minds."

"No don't! I NEED to keep that in my head!" cried Ruby trying to run from her sister.

Discord snapped his fingers before a stream of imagescame from all of their heads and poofed away. "Done, come on Pinkie, I need to get back to Fluttershy's for a tea time."

"Coming, I just wanted to leave them something for their hospitality."

All of them shook their heads while Discord and Pinkie left and looked confused.

"What? How'd we get here?" Asked Blake.

"Why do I feel like my head's about to spin?" asked Weiss.

Ruby turned and let out a gasp. "Woah! Look at that!" She smiled ear to ear.

They turned and went wide eyed at seeing a large well decorated cake in the middle of the room.

"Is it Ozpin's birthday?" Yang wondered.

"If so let's wish him happy birthday, AFTER we eat." grinned Ruby who tried to make a mad dash for the cake.

"Hold up!" Yang grabbed her by the hood. "You know the rules about odd sweets Ruby, not until we know it's safe."

"Aw, next you'll be messing with my memories."

"How would I even be able to do that?"

The door opened and Penny walked in. "Have any of you seen Bender, I was worried about leaving him alone."

"Who?" The girls blinked.

"Bender, that robot who was fueled by alcoholic beverages."

"As cool as that sounds, we don't know what you're talking about." Ruby spoke. "You sure you didn't tune into some TV show by mistake?"

"No, I saw him along with the odd energy anomaly here. You girls were all looking at the piles of assorted items outside too."

"...uh okay, Penny when was the last time you had a recharge?" Asked Weiss.

"Why this morning, thank you for asking."

"Well you might be do for a systems check."

"Come on Penny, let's dive into this cake someone left lying around and then we'll take you back to Ironwood."

Penny blinked and shrugged before Ruby bit into the cake.