I know I shouldn't have gone to see her, at least not too soon but I need to, at least just from afar but I need to see her.

Johanna and I walk about ten minutes until we finally get to the Training Centre, which seems to be completely empty at first, but I know there must be some Gamemakers, doctors, nurses, guards, probably Seneca Crane and some other people.

Behind the normal Training Centre building where all the tributes stay before the games, there is another small building where they keep the victors each year so they can recover and be ready for the interview with Caesar.

"Finnick!" I hear a male voice say.

A tall blonde guy is in front of me a few steps away, walking quite fast towards me and Johanna. As he approaches me I can tell is Carlyne, Danieka's stylist. He has changed since the last time I saw him, he has light blond highlights in his medium-length blond hair and his green eyes seem dull and lifeless.

"What are you doing here?" He asks me in an urgent tone.

Carlyne looks tired and restless but he also looks scared and quite shaken up. I can see in his eyes he knows something and hopefully he will tell me all he knows.

"If someone sees you here – seriously did you even think about it? You can't be seen or people will suspect something is up and that will only bring trouble to you and Danieka."

"I just want to see her, please." I beg.

"You know I don't have that kind of authority here." He says. "You know I would let you see her."

"Just for a second please."

"There is a lot of people up there, too many. Come back either at night or when a few days have gone by, I will tell you how is she doing and all you want to know but please just leave before someone else sees you."

"Speaking of which, is there anything you want to tell me? I know you know something, I can see it."

"I don't know much more than you, Finnick." He lied.

"Come on Carlyne, we know that is not true, please tell me, whatever it is."

"You know how stubborn Finnick is, you better tell him now because you will end up telling him later, anyway." Johanna says, speaking for the first time, Carlyne only sighs, knowing it's true.

"Follow me."

Carlyne walks past Johanna and me, we follow him closely. He walks all the way out of this second building and into the first, he turns to the left and walks inside a semi-empty room, as soon as we are inside he locks the doors and looks around the place before looking back at me, at us.

"Please don't get too alarmed by this, okay? No one is supposed to know besides Brutus, Lyme and I, so you two better keep your mouth shut."

"Alright, what is it?"

"Claudius couldn't announce the winner for that long amount of time because there was no winner for a few minutes."

"What do you mean?" I ask him.

"Don't get crazy, okay? Just hear what I have to say because she is fine now." He says desperately. "Danieka, she died…"

"What!?" I yelled, interrupting him.

"Listen to me. Danieka died about a minute after Kellen died, so the doctors tried to revive her for some time until they tried to revive both when they realized Danieka wasn't coming back but she did, she's alive now and they are treating her, trying to get the poison out of her body as soon as possible."

"She died?" I repeat, I'm in complete shock. "For how long?"

"Just some minutes."

"How long?"

"Fourteen minutes." Carlyne says sighing. "But she is stable now, she is just unconscious."

"Just unconscious." I repeat sarcastically. "That's just great."

"She's alive, she won."

I collapse on a chair nearby and cry for both, sadness and happiness. She died but she's alive now, but she's unconscious, once again. Would it be better if Kellen had woken up before her, for Danieka's sake? That will be a question that I'll never voice, it's too harsh. It will also be the question that will never have a proper answer.

"What about brain damage?" Johanna asked. "Could she have that?"

"They are optimistic," Carlyne told her. "But there's always a chance she might, she was dead for a long time. Her brain and the rest of her organs didn't get air or anything else during that time, but as I said, the doctors are optimistic and doing everything they can. You know how good they are at what they do."

"What is happening now?" she asked.

"They are making sure she's stable, making sure everything is well connected, that she has everything she needs, checking her vitals, stuff like that." Carlyne says. "Then they'll start to clean her up, to make her wounds heal and make any scar disappear and filled her up with vitamins and minerals to treat her malnutrition. They don't know how much she weighs yet but she's severely underweight."

"They'll beautify her, then." Johanna says.

"Yes, pretty much that, once they are sure she is one hundred percent fine." Carlyne "She'll wake up prettier than when she went into the arena."

"Like if that matters." I exclaim angrily.

"You know how things are." He says simply. "I'll go back now, I'll let you know if anything new happens."

"Please, Carlyne." I say. "And thank you."

"Rest for a bit, she's safe now." Carlyne says before he leaves us.

"Let's go." Johanna says to me.

I only nod at her even when I want to go after Carlyne and see Danieka, some sense has gotten to me and I just know it's not a good idea to see her now, so against my desire, I walk out of the building with Johanna.

"She'll be fine." She says to me. "She's alive."

"Yeah, I guess." I say, shrugging.

"Finnick, how come you got to care so much for her?"

"I don't know really, something inside me pushed me to help her, I can't really explain it, it just happened and then we bonded really fast, I never meant to care so much, I just wanted to help her."

"And you did, she won."

"Yeah, she did."

"We should go." Johanna says as she grabs my wrist and pulls me with her.

Johanna takes me to my room here in the Capitol, she makes sure I eat at least half of what she served me, then she makes me go to bed and she just doesn't go until I fall asleep, maybe she doesn't trust me, maybe she thinks I'll go to see Danieka or something like that, and she is still there when I fall asleep.

It wasn't until a week later after Danieka won that I finally could see her. I did as Carlyne told me to, even when it was pretty hard. I waited until he told me it was okay to go see her.

So today is the day, today is the day that I will be able to see Danieka again. Forty days have passed since I last saw her, and there is nothing else I want to do but see her, I have been really anxious and wreck-nerved all these days, a minute seems like forever, I just need to see her.

Of course Johanna comes with me to see Danieka, I'm nervous as hell and Johanna seems to notice, she grabs my hand and squeezes it while being on the lift, she gives me a small smile when I turn to look at her.

Carlyne told me there will be barely any people there, only some nurses to check on Danieka in case something, either bad or good, happens. The nurses are supposed to know I will visit Danieka and to let me see her, if not, then I have to maybe flirt with them and they will let me through.

When we get to the seventh floor, where Danieka is, I start to walk pretty quickly to the room Carlyne told me to go, 707. I find it quite fast and waste no time to open the door.

I don't find the blonde girl I want to see, but three nurses. They look at me and Johanna with surprised expressions and I just smile at them with an awkward smile.

"Hello." I say to them, in a polite way.

"What do you want, Mr. Odair?" The oldest of them all, a woman with half brown half grey hair asks me flatly.

"We are here to see Danieka Hadley." Johanna says going straight to the point.

"Only her mentors and stylist can see her." The oldest nurse says.

I bit my lip and then let a small smile slip from my lips, making my dimples visible, I know lots of girls and women love that, I look directly into her dark brown eyes and in no time the nurse looks away from me, blushing slightly. I turn to the purple-haired nurse, who is closer to the other one and also smile at her and look into her eyes.

"We won't be here long, she's our friend and we just want to see her for a bit." I tell them. "Nobody will find out, it will be our secret, right?" I said as I winked.

"If someone comes, you must be quick and hide, nobody can see you in there." The purple-haired nurse says with a nervous tone.

"Thank you, darling." I say and in no time the nurse's cheeks flush a bright red colour, it almost makes me laugh at her.

I waste no time and walk to the end of this small room, there is a door that connects to where Danieka is. I feel my heart beating so much faster as I grab the knob and turn it to open the door. I will finally see her.

I open the door to find a quite dark room, with no other doors and just a small single window, there is a lamp hanging from the roof, right now its light is very gloomy but those kind of lights are supposed to have different levels of intensity, right now it must be this way because nothing important is happening here, no one needs to see clearly.

In the corner of the room, there is a chair in front of a dark coloured desk, in the other corner I see a leather couch, probably where Brutus, Lyme and Carlyne have sat when they visit her, then I see two big shelves, both are full with medicines, syringes, bottles, even books and magazines, it's quite scary. And then I see a small bed with light blue sheets and blankets, where Danieka is lying.

I take a few steps to get closer to her, but as I walk towards her my legs shake and I swear I will fall at any moment, Johanna is right behind me, saying nothing at all.

It breaks my heart to see her like this, connected to lots of different machines, don't ask me what are their uses because I have no idea. Doctors say she is stable, but what does that actually mean? Does it mean she's okay but unconscious? Is that even possible? How can she be stable when she needs a machine to breathe and another awfully lot to keep living?

Danieka is no longer dirty and covered in mud and all that, nobody would have ever imagined she spent a month in a jungle because she almost shines from how clean she is right now. I bet she doesn't have any injuries right now, she probably only has scars left, which will be vanished soon if her prep team hasn't worked on them yet, she has to be perfect when she wakes up.

Her golden blonde hair is brighter than ever before and is even straighter. Her prep team must have washed it by now and applied different treatments and stuff to it, they probably even cut the split ends, even though it is longer than when she left to the arena, her hair almost reaches her belly button now, they probably gave her too many vitamins that her hair has grown quite fast.

Her nails and probably her toenails too are well cut and obviously have been taken care by someone from her prep team, no dirt is under them and they even shine a bit. I can bet everything that they also brushed her teeth as soon as they could get their hands on her.

But even when her hair is beautiful, her nails and skin have no flaw at all, she looks lifeless. She looks dead, at least to me. Under all that glow, it's obvious she is very pale and even under the sheets, I can notice she is still extremely thin. Maybe she has gained about five pounds since she won but she lost more than a stone and a half during the thirty-two days she was fighting for her life, she was already thin before the Games so now she actually looks awfully emaciated.

To me, as she is now, she looks like a body ready for its funeral. I still can't understand why they dress them up fancy and apply make-up to dead people for their funerals, they are dead. But, that's how Danieka looks like right now... dead.

"Are you alright?" Johanna asks me.

I open my mouth to reply but I realize I can't really talk, I am not able to find my voice, so I only nod at her, she nods back at me but says nothing else.

I smile sadly at her, I feel an unexplained and huge joy to finally be able to see Danie, she won and right now she only has to recover and it will all be okay, or that's what I try to tell myself, that's what I have fooled myself with, it will all be okay for her, for us, there will be nothing to fear from now on.

I take a few more steps towards her, I raise my hand and slowly caress Danieka's cold cheek. It's been too long since I last touched her, it almost feels like a complete new feeling, I almost forgot how it feels.

Then, as I look at her pale but neat face I can't help but wonder about her eyes, about her beautiful blue eyes she thought were dull. The prep team and Carlyne can make her look beautiful again, fix her hair, make her gain weight, paint her nails and dress her in nice clothes but there is absolutely nothing they can do about her eyes, will they be the same eyes I remember? I mean, they will be the same eyes and same colour but will they look the same? Will I see all I saw once in them? Or will they be empty and dull and lifeless now? I just can hope they won't lose anything and that I will see life and joy in them once again.

"It's been almost an hour, Finn." Johanna says to me. "I think we should go for now, and maybe come back tomorrow."

"Alright." I say.

Johanna gets surprised I didn't even complain about leaving too soon or objecting about it, I want to be here until she wakes up, but truth is that I can't really stand looking at her anymore, not like this, I guess I wasn't prepared for this.

Before I leave the room, I close my eyes and take a big breath, I have to pull myself together and be the Finnick the Capitol thinks I am, as soon as I walk out of this room, I have to wear this kind of mask.

I see the three nurses again, they smile at me, the oldest just nods at me, while the purple-haired one winks at me and the other, who has pink hair and light blue skin bits her red lips and looks at me in a seductive way, they disgust me but a smile is plastered on my face instantly nevertheless.

"Thank you ladies." I say in a polite tone and nod at them. "We may be back tomorrow."

"You better be here around 2:00 p.m." The one with pink hair says to me. "Everyone is eating at that time so no one will be here and besides visit time starts again at 4:30 so her mentors won't be around until them."

"Thank you so much, uhm, what is your name?"
"Lilla." She says to me, and even when her skin is blue, I can see how her cheeks turn red.

"What a lovely name, well I will make sure to be here around that time, thank you Lilla."

I nod once again at them before finally leaving the room. Johanna is trying not to laugh at the nurses and how easy I can captivate them, it's mad to think I may only wink at them and they may die inside, just because I'm Finnick Odair, the favourite here in the Capitol, the most handsome, probably the youngest and with the best body out of all the victors. Before the games I was only an innocent fourteen-year-old boy who fished and spent several hours each day on the beach, it's unbelievable how much things have changed.

"Will you come with me tomorrow?" I ask Johanna, once we walk out of the lift.

"Of course, do you think I will leave you alone with those three crazy women?" She exclaims. "They might kidnap you and do who knows what to you."

"Yeah, good point. Hmm, it seems like I have a bodyguard now."

"Just shut up, Finnick." Johanna says as I chuckle, she tries to hide it but she is smiling too.