When Chibis Attack! Part 52

Part 52: Saccharine Cup Prelude

Hakkai ponders the Chibis, still happily pugilising each other. He smacks a palm with his fist decisively.

"This just won't do. They're still far too full of energy."

"Maybe we could attach them to little generators." I mumble. If I don't get into bed soon, my head will hit the floor.

"A little exercise would do them good…" Hakkai continues, oblivious to my suffering.

"Arts and Crafts!" Goku chimes in.

"There's no exercise in Arts and Crafts, dimwit." Gojyo encourages his participation.

"Then maybe… Martial Arts and Crafts!"

"That's not…"

"Whee! Martial Awts and Cwafts!"


Bloody Hell.

"I'm going to go… sleep in a dumpster or something." Lever myself out of the chair.

"No, no! We'll need you to keep score."

"Hakkai can be the umpire!"

"No way." Sanzo crosses his arms. "It sounds Stupid, and I don't want to catch your Stupid germs."

"Hmm…" Hakkai ponders. "It would be exercise. And very cute…"

"I'm not doing it, Hakkai." Gojyo is willing to risk agreeing with Sanzo to avoid this latest scheme. "There's no point in looking silly if you're going to do it on purpose."

Desperately grasp at this chance.

"Well, I guess that means we'll all just have to go to be– "

"Sparkles."


One word. Such a dramatic effect.

Hakkai holds the mystical bottle of Definitely Not Plot up for all to see.

All enormous eyes follow the glitter, glinting in Goku's still-lit spotlight.

"Ooooo…" They chorus.


My heart sinks. My blood alcohol level rises in a futile attempt to buoy it back up, but to no avail.
"Two teams." Hakkai intones, monocle flashing nefariously. "Capture the sparkles. Whoever wins gets to make a card."

"Ooooo…"

"I suppose Kougaiji and Sanzo will be the Team Leaders."

"Dis is Team Spawkle!" Kougaiji announces, grabbing Goku as if this was all arranged in the pre-season drafts. I don't know, maybe it was. Does Sparkling have a pre-season?

And where the hell did Hakkai find those sparkles?

"Aw, shucks." Gojyo mutters, kicking the ground. "I wanna join Team Sparkle."


"Shut up, idiot!" Sanzo whacks his unwilling accomplice. "We're Team Glitter Glue, and we're gonna wipe the floor with you!"

"Go ahead! We'll get more sparkles that way!" Goku's getting right into this. Does he always switch teams that easily? How do they ever get anything done? Maybe that's a good thing, though.


Competitive sports in my front room. Someone's going to get arrested, I just know it.

But a night in the station could mean a night of uninterrupted sleep.

…so let them play.


"Ah ha ha ha." Laugh of Doom: Hakkai's thoughts might be paralleling my own. "I hope this doesn't get out of hand."

Gee, what are the odds of that?

"It's already out of hand." Out of my hands, anyway.

"It could be worse, though." Hakkai looks up at me with worried eyes.

"How? How could this possibly be worse? Name it!" The rush of completely assured destruction overtakes me like a Soviet dictator. "It can't get worse. I taunt you, Fates! Taunt!"

"There could be more of us."


Cassandra-like visions flood my mind of Escaflowne Enhanced Wuv Soldiers, various villains fighting over Fridgetop Posing Rights, Inuyasha drooling everywhere, Sephiroth stabbing me in the ankle, and Gundam that fall down and cry.

Oh god… Dragon Ball Z…

"I didn't mean that, Fate." Raise my eyes imploringly heavenward. "And I love your new… haircut."

"Amen." Hakkai claps his hands solemnly.

But the lid has popped, and the Saccharine Cup is under way.


"Would you like another drink?" Hakkai looks into my glass.

"Oh yes."

"Good. I could use one myself."

Hakkai on my shoulder, fountains of sparkles coruscating around us, we retreat to the kitchen.

If anyone scores before I get back, I figure they'll let me know.

They'll have to. I have no idea how the hell they score.


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Well, it's begun. But it's not too late. If you want to vote for Team Sparkle (Kougaiji and Goku) or Team Glitter Glue (Sanzo and Gojyo), you can still do so. In case you can't use the message thing, or find my email on my profile, and you want to send me a fan art vote, I can be reached at:

Chaos (underscore) butterflies (at) hotmail (dot) com.

Or you can review and let me know who you think deserves the cup.

May the cutest team win!

Btw: I just picked up Volumes 5 and 6 of the Reload manga. Seems like Goku does have a thing for switching teams: occasionally, he plays for Team Gat, and Team Zakuro… and it's freaking hilarious!

I didn't get it at first, but now I love Zakuro as much as everyone else…Dammit, did I look into his eyes?