Couple 1
Greg and Mycroft have been together almost a year and just now are they starting to spend the night together on a regular basis. They're still learning a lot about each other and here's one Greg is having a difficult time dealing with: Mycroft does not buy his own underwear.
Once a month, Mycroft receives a box of fifteen pairs of the most expensive underwear Greg's ever seen. They range in dark colors from blue's to black's, they're thick silk and they look like they were actually made for Mycroft (they were).
Each month when Mycroft receives the package, Greg makes fun of him for being incapable of doing such a mundane thing as buying his own underwear. Mycroft doesn't grocery shop for himself? Weird. Mycroft doesn't buy his own underwear? Rifuckingdiculous.
Greg decides he needs to shop for new clothes. He needs a few under shirts, underwear, socks, just the normal stuff. And he decides Mycroft's going to go with him.
All of Greg's supplies are in the men's section of the store. The socks are easy, just a package of white and one of black. The t-shirts are the same. But he stops in front of the underwear and gazes at the many racks of brands, colors, cuts, sizes.
"Now this could take all day," Mycroft says.
"It won't. I just can't decide which cut I want. Boxers or briefs?"
"I'm more of a briefs man."
Greg smirks. "I know."
Mycroft nudges him but smiles. "Hurry up, I want to go home."
"Now this is a difficult process. I can't decide. Do I want these dark colors, or do I want these bright colors?"
"Just get the dark ones and let's go."
Forty-five minutes later, yes forty-five minutes, they leave the store with Greg's underwear.
Later that night Mycroft finds that Greg switched the first pack Greg chose when Mycroft wasn't looking and bought the light colored ones, including a pair of pink. Yes, pink. Dark pink. Almost red. But nonetheless pink.
"You bought the light ones?"
"Yes I did."
"Why?"
"I like them."
"They're pink."
"One pair is pink."
"They're ridiculous."
"What's ridiculous is that you have yours made."
"That's not ridiculous."
Greg gets out of bed and pulls the now clean, pink, Hanes cotton briefs from his drawer. He hops back onto the bed and tosses them at Mycroft's face.
"What are these for?" Mycroft asks.
"Put them on."
"Why?"
"To prove a point."
"The point being?"
"You'll see."
Greg turns over and goes to sleep. The next morning Greg wakes after Mycroft and goes into the bathroom to see Mycroft shaving in nothing but the pink underwear.
"Now there's a site," Greg says. He walks over to Mycroft and kisses his cheek.
"Thanks," Mycroft says. "They're actually not that bad."
"Wait, wait," Greg says. "Say that again."
Mycroft rolls his eyes. "They're not bad."
"Can you tell me I was right? Just once, please," Greg begs, "I never get to be right."
Mycroft rolls his eyes again. "You were right."
"Can I get that in writing?"
"If you say one more thing, I'll take them off."
Greg glances at Mycroft. "That may not be a bad thing."
Mycroft nudges Greg with his elbow.
Mycroft doesn't stop getting his underwear made, but Greg does stop making fun of him for it. He lets Mycroft wear his pretentious underwear because every once in a while Mycroft will wear Greg's underwear and that is the site.
Couple 2
John and Sherlock have been together as a couple for six months when John realizes that once every two weeks Sherlock leaves in the morning for no reason. Sherlock doesn't make excuses, he doesn't tell John he's going anywhere specific and John has no specific suspicions, until Sherlock frantically needs to leave one day.
When he comes back, John corners him and makes him talk. After much run-around and fighting, Sherlock comes out with it.
"I was buying underwear."
John thinks that over. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I was buying new underwear."
"What? Why? What happened to yours?"
"They got old I needed more."
"…every other Tuesday?"
"Yes," Sherlock takes his underwear from his inside coat pocket and places them in his drawer. "What's the problem?"
"You buy new underwear twice a month?"
"Yes."
"Why, Sherlock?"
"Because the ones I had got old."
"What do you mean…got old?"
Sherlock sighs. "I wear the pair, wash them, wear them again, and after that they're too old."
John thinks that one over too. "Why?"
"They just are. I don't need to justify spending my own money."
"You do when you shop for your expensive underwear twice a month when they're all perfectly fine and we have rent to pay."
"I earn my money, I reserve the right—"
"No, Sherlock."
"No?"
"No. No more underwear. After this no more, you'll keep these ones until you need to buy more."
Sherlock huffs. "You're not the boss of me."
"I'm older," John says. It's an argument used often.
"I don't care."
"Fine," John walks out of the room, but first says, "It's going on the list."
Sherlock's eyes widen. "No, that's not fair."
"No more buying underwear, Sherlock, or I will break up with you."
"That's really unfair."
John reaches up and kisses Sherlock. "It's saving money, love."
Sherlock bought seven pairs and he wants this argument to end quickly, so his solution is to throw the underwear away as he finishes wearing them that day.
So a week and one day later, Sherlock is squirming around a crime scene periodically scratching…areas.
In the cab home, John notices one last time. "You ok, love?"
"Fine."
"What's the matter?"
"I'm itchy."
"Why?"
Sherlock glances at the driver then out the window again. "I'm not wearing underwear."
"Sorry, what?"
Sherlock murmurs, "I'm not wearing underwear."
"Again, you've got to speak up."
Sherlock turns to John and says very loudly. "I. Am. Not. Wearing. Underwear."
The cab driver glances in his rearview mirror. John laughs.
"Why?"
"To prove a point."
"The point being?"
"That I am not rewearing the same underwear more than twice. Well, once this time."
"What did you do with your underwear, Sherlock?" John asks.
"I threw them away."
John sighs very loudly and looks out the window.
The argument ends once they get home. John ends it because the image of Sherlock taking off his pants and being momentarily naked from the waist down, then pulling on pajama pants and knowing there's nothing underneath gets his blood boiling.
The next day John doesn't say anything about Sherlock buying new underwear. He doesn't say it the next day either, or the next. He lets Sherlock go commando for a week and a half. Sherlock doesn't complain either, he just scratches and adjusts more. And John notices, that's half the reason he doesn't say anything.
One evening it gets very, very cold out on a scene. Sherlock finds that certain parts of him get so cold that he has to stand while cupping that area. And John laughs. A lot.
"Cold, love?" John asks while they wait.
"A bit."
"You know what would make you a bit warmer?" John smiles up at Sherlock and Sherlock scowls down. "Underwear."
Sherlock rolls his eyes.
They go home and Sherlock goes to the restroom. A while later they go to bed and when Sherlock removes his pants, John sees that he's wearing John's underwear.
"Sherlock is that my underwear?"
"Why, yes it is."
"Why?"
"I got cold."
"When did you put those on?"
"When we got home."
"You're cheating."
"I'm not cheating. I didn't buy any. I'll just wear yours." Sherlock looks down at his lower body and peers at John's underwear on his body; they're slightly more large around his waist but too short for him. They hang low on his hips. He stands up straight and rests his hands on his hips. His stomach sucks in and the underwear falls down more. "Don't you like them?"
"Well," John swallows. "Yeah, but—"
"Then I'll just wear yours," Sherlock smiles and gets into bed.
Then John hides his underwear. Sherlock knows where they are (of course) but he knows John needs to prove a point. He goes underwear-less for yet another week and finally at the end John gives in.
"Fine," John says. "You know what? Fine. Do whatever you want. I didn't know we had that extra money before, it's not like anything will change."
Sherlock smiles. "I knew you'd come around." Sherlock kisses John's cheek and leaves to shop for underwear.
He continues his cycle of shopping, but every once in a while he 'forgets' to wear some because he knows John likes it.
Couple 3
When Sebastian and Jim began working together, Jim bought Sebastian new clothes. He actually paid for everything for Sebastian, and that continued throughout their time together. So now it's a year into their real relationship and Sebastian still isn't used to Jim picking out everything he owns.
He asks Jim to stop buying him suits, Jim buys him a new one; he asks Jim to stop buying him shoes, Jim buys him a new pair. For the most part Sebastian puts up a small fight but goes on with it. However, there is one item Sebastian just feels very violated at Jim buying.
Underwear.
"Jim, would you stop buying me underwear?" Sebastian asks.
"What's the problem?"
"I want you to stop buying my underwear!"
"What? Do they not fit?"
"Well, no they're fine—"
"Are they not the correct cut?"
"No, they're perfect—"
"Then what's the problem?"
"The problem is that this is underwear. It's weird!"
"It's not that weird."
"It is and I'd like you to stop."
A month later Sebastian receives new underwear. He rolls his eyes and calls Jim.
"Yes?" Jim answers.
"You bought me new underwear."
"Yes."
"I didn't need new underwear."
"Yes."
"Stop saying 'yes'!"
"…yes."
Sebastian shouts a few choice curse words and hangs up.
When Jim gets home, Sebastian greets him by throwing each pair of underwear at him.
"What is this for?"
"You bought them, they're yours."
"They won't fit me, we're not the same size."
"Deal with saggy pants then, baby."
Jim smiles. "You're being ridiculous."
"Just stop buying my underwear!"
So what does Jim do? He orders Sebastian seventy-five pairs of underwear. 75.
"Jim!" Sebastian shouts through their flat as he opens the package he'd just received.
"Yes?"
"What the fuck?"
"Problem?"
"You ordered me—"
"Seventy-five."
"Seventy-five pairs of underwear!"
Jim smiles. "You don't like them?"
"I hate you, you know that?"
"Most people say thank you when they receive a gift."
"Apparently I am not most people!"
"Apparently not."
Sebastian stares at Jim and Jim motions to take them off the table.
"What are you doing?" Sebastian asks.
"I'm going to send them back."
Sebastian thinks. "Really?"
"Yes. If you're not going to wear them what am I going to do with them?"
"I mean," Sebastian crosses his arms. "Since they're already here…"
Jim smiles. He kisses Sebastian's cheek. "You're welcome, dear."
Sebastian is in no need for underwear for a long while, and he lets go the fact that Jim buys his underwear. Free stuff, right?
*Underwear are called underwear because I'm a dumb American and got all the way through writing and realized, "They would say pants…" So just do me a favor and pretend, ok? I'm sorry.
*Going underwear shopping was a fantastic prompt from TheFalling and I loved it, so thank you dear : )
