Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! I do not own Mockingjay, duh.
Ch. 51
It is rare for me to travel out of the mansion and into the Capitol. My usual day is spent inside. Talking to Haymitch, sometimes watching Katniss. But the inside had began to suffocate me. Watching Katniss fall deeper and deeper into insanity was worse than realizing that I never really could get rid of the monster.
I remember the first day she started singing. Haymitch had actually ran to me and he had this gleam in his eye. After days of sorrow and frowns I finally saw something of hope. I had been so confused. Nothing seemed right. Paylor had been rush elected for President, this was the only thing I really felt good about. Katniss seemed to have been forgotten about except for Haymitch and I whom sat in front of the screens for hours watching with hopeful eyes that she'll become normal again. But here Haymitch was, finally with a sliver of hope.
"She's singing." He said. "She's singing. It started out really quiet at first, but now it's audible. Peeta, I think she's began to hope."
They hadn't told her anything. Just shoved her into the room on top of the training center and let her come up with her own ideas. A trial was supposed to take place in a few days, but Katniss didn't know that. All she knew was that they fed her and gave her pills, that was it. She was going to kill herself with her own mind.
Her singing gave Haymitch hope because it meant she was giving herself hope.
She rarely sang in the time I knew her, but I knew the memory was tied to her father. The few occasions she had opened up to me about him she always mentioned his singing. Katniss must be trying to forget about the present and go back in the past. Or she was just trying to forget everything and singing helped. Either way it gave me strength to leave the mansion for a few hours.
I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I didn't know the Capitol very well and a lot of the stores were still closed. A number of Capitol Citizens had decided to move out into the Districts. Just like we were given a start over, they were given a do over. I know a lot of people resent them, and part of me still does too, but I must remind myself how brainwashed they were.
Paylor stopped the idea of the 76th Hunger Games. I had taken a breath of fresh air when I had heard. It went over good with the others too, we were all very tired after Coin's death and the fast election. Part of us just wanted everything to stop. So the Capitol people were free to do what they wanted and we were free to do what we wanted. I wonder when the line between us will disappear. When it will stop being them and start being us. I hope it isn't too far off.
I was walking with my head down, my pace quick, my breathing steady. I hardly paid attention to the others around me and that's how I ran into her. Her head was down too and when we ran into each other both of us almost fell to the ground. She was quick to move on, but I had already got a glimpse. Her blonde hair was piled high atop her head and those giant eyes. She could pass as someone from the Districts if I hadn't known her from before. The girl that led me to the City Center unknowingly. The girl that made me realize that not everyone in the Capitol was evil.
"Hey!" I called out to her. I had wanted to talk to her, but I didn't know her name, where she lived, it was virtually impossible.
She kept walking and I had to run to her, "Hey," I said again.
"Me?" She said looking behind me.
"Yes, you." I say. I wonder where her husband is and if that even was their relationship. I wanted to thank both of them.
"No, you must be mistaken. You're Peeta. You must despise me. I'm a Capitol Citizen." Her words are calm and knowing just as they had been on that fateful day. I wonder if she had gotten this wisdom from her parents or if she had acquired it on her own like Cressida had.
"I'm not mistaken. You helped on the day the Districts were liberated, I just wanted to thank you." She shakes her head, a small frown etched on her lips.
"No, that can't be. I was with my husband we were going to the President's mansion. I would have noticed if I helped you. We were only helping ourselves. I'm sorry." She tries to walk away, but I grab her arm keeping her from going.
"I was disguised. You lead me towards the City Center; you kept me calm. It amazed me how wised you seemed. I always thought people from the Capitol were…" I don't know how to end my sentence in a way that won't offend her.
"Ignorant." She finishes for me, "Yeah I know. My family traveled to the Districts a lot. We had a lot of vacation homes. I made some friends." She finishes and I don't know what else to say. I had already thanked her. There really was nothing else.
"You're welcome. Is that all?" She asks, her eyes traveling beyond me down the street. She must have somewhere to go.
"Just, your name?" I ask her, making room for her to walk down the street.
"Lily." She answers.
"Well, thank you, Lily. You kept me calm. Who knows what I might've done if you weren't there."
"I didn't know I was helping you."
"Doesn't mean that I shouldn't thank you." After I say that she shakes her head and walks away.
I go back to the mansion after that.
Katniss is sleeping. I wish more than anything I could be there holding her.
I updated two days in a row! Woo! It's mostly because I like reviews and I didn't get many on that last one so I'm hoping to get some more on this one. I feel like no one is reading it anymore, I only get like one or two reviews on each chapter and it doesn't really encourage me to write. I love getting reviews and I want to know how I'm doing. It takes at the most a minute to write a review and post it. It really truly makes my day, especially if they're long ones :). If you don't like posting reviews you can PM me.
Don't forget to REVIEW on the way out! Thanks! ~boywithbreadlover
