KORRA
AZULA WAS TEACHING THEM HOW TO HURL THEIR LANTERNS INTO THE AIR WHEN IT HAPPENED. The lanterns had been a surprise, something none of them, even Azula, who seemed to be surprised at nothing, had expected. While the girls had gone into town for the their caper with the booze, Sokka had hidden away in their cabin, feverishly working with Lobsang to make a half-dozen lanterns as close to how Azula had described them as possible. In the end, he had gotten carried away, and now they all had lanterns, Korra, Azula, Sokka, Toph, Lobsang, Suki, and the four other Kyoshi Warriors who were their guard for the night.
Korra was holding her lantern as Azula talked, explaining the significance, why the lanterns mattered, what they were supposed to mean, but she wasn't looking at her lantern. No, she was looking at the one in Azula's hands, the one Azula couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from. Azula's lantern, like all of theirs, wasn't much of a much. They had been made quickly, by someone who had never done it before, and it showed. Korra knew that Azula had probably never had to handle a lantern like the one she had now. She knew that Azula, the former princess, had probably had the finest lanterns in the world, made by the finest craftsmen special for the Royal Family, lanterns that probably individually cost more than most families made in a year.
But if Azula cared, she didn't show it. She couldn't take her eyes off her lantern, couldn't stop staring at it. When Sokka had brought them out, after he and Korra had taken an hour or two to teach the group traditional Water Tribe songs and dances, Sokka at one point pulling Suki into the circle around the bonfire and making the other Warriors join in, Azula had almost burst into tears. She would never admit it, of course; that wasn't her way. But there was no mistaking it, the way her breath hitched, the way her eyes turned glassy and bright, the way her hand shook as she wiped her eyes and apologized, because, see, something got in my eye, sorry, it happens, yeah, Sokka, they're nice, rough, but nice, thank you.
But that was the point, wasn't it? It didn't matter that the lantern had been inexpertly made by a young man whose people had, not long before, been engaged in brutal warfare with the people of the young woman it was to be given to. No, what mattered was that the lantern had been made, that it could be made. The mere fact of its existence was what made it important, indeed, made it more important than possibly any other of the no doubt millions of lanterns currently being hurled into the night sky, all around the world. And then, that Azula, scion of a family that had plunged the world into chaos, bloodshed, and madness, could accept the lantern, could take it and look at it, could smile and be touched, moved to tears, not of sadness or guilt or shame, but of joy…that was what mattered.
That was what was important. Everything else was just chaff after the wheat harvest, clouding the vision and stinging the eyes, keeping you from seeing what was truly important. It was all about the will, the courage to be willing to move beyond the past, to look at the present, to see the future, to live and breathe without fear, without shame…
Without shame…
That's when it happened. Lobsang's voice filled her ears, her world collapsing around her, melting and fading into dust and darkness. Once the first chakra has been unlocked, there is no stopping, no going back. You must be ready, at any moment, for the others to unlock. It could be a thought, a dream, a sudden realization, and then the chakra is unlocking and the energy will flow. You must be ready, because if you are not, if you are unprepared, you will fight it, and the chakra will become blocked, and it may never unlock again.
She blinked. She fell to her knees. Her body, her blood, her very soul, it burned. The darkness flickered, shot through with light and shadow, swirling and crashing around her. She opened her mouth to scream, but there was no sound. Things shifted and slithered, at the edges of her sight, but she could not see them. Something lurked behind her, and she could her feel its hot breath on her neck, but she could not turn, could not look, and even if she could, she knew she would not see.
It hurts…
It burns…
Don't fight it…
Let it come…
The third chakra…
The Fire Chakra…
She knew what it was, even as it burned her. Willpower, the will to live, the will to be all you can be, the will to conquer your past, live your present, enjoy your future. The will to recognize that the only thing that can stop you is shame, shame at your past, shame at the past of those who came before you. You must recognize that shame is never good. To feel sorry, that is one thing, to wish that you had done better, another, but to be ashamed? That can only destroy you.
She shook her head. She was scared. She didn't understand. What about the second chakra? What about the Water Chakra? What about pleasure and guilt and-
A voice answered her. It sounded like her, only not, it sounded…older… She looked into the swirling darkness, looked through eyes clouded with pain and fear, and saw a shadow, a shadow that was tall and strong and wagging a finger, clucking its tongue as it said, Ah, but you already unlocked that one, this morning, before the others woke up. Surely you remember…?
She couldn't help but smile. Oh…yeah…
The shadow laughed. It's like that sometimes, just like Lobsang said. Unlocking a chakra can occur during a week of meditation, or it can take the form of a fainting spell that you don't come out of for a day, or it can happen in a flash without you even realizing it. Depends on the person, really. Does your stomach hurt anymore?
She looked down, looked to where she had been clutching her sides, clutching at the pain and the fire and the burning, at the shame that had spilled from within to swallow her whole.
Heh…no, it doesn't…
Well, then…are you ashamed?
She hung her head. I'm sorry…sorry for the things that have happened, sorry for when I've not been who I should've been, sorry for when I've failed, sorry for those I've hurt…
Ah, but are you ashamed?
She looked up, and wished she could see the smile on her face.
No, I'm not. I am who I am, and I will always do my best, no matter what.
The shadow smiled, though how it did, and how Korra knew it was smiling, Korra did not know.
That's my girl.
She opened her eyes.
She blinked. The bonfire crackled, popped, and hissed. She looked down, saw that the lantern was still clutched in her hands. She looked up, and saw that everyone was staring at her, expressions a mixture of confusion and concern.
"Hey," Toph said, nudging her with an elbow, "you alright kid?"
Korra felt a shudder pass through her body, let it come, let it go. "Heh…uh…yeah, I think so…how long was I gone?"
"A good minute," Azula replied, exchanging confused looks with Sokka, who just kind of shrugged in response, "maybe…two?"
"At least two," Suki added.
"So," Lobsang said, giving Korra a knowing smile, "much better this time, don't you think?"
Korra smiled, and let a soft giggle escape her throat. "Well…I guess so…better than taking all day."
"Better than what taking all day?" Sokka asked, looking utterly lost.
Lobsang just smiled his serene little smile. "Don't worry about it, young man. So, lanterns, right?"
Azula laughed, socking Sokka one in the arm. "Yes, lanterns. Suki, hand me that twig there, please; it's against tradition to light the candles with firebending."
When they released the lanterns, and watched them make their way towards the stars, Korra reached out, not daring to look, and took Toph's hand. There was a pause, and then Toph entwined her fingers with Korra's and gave her hand a squeeze.
Korra had no idea why that made her feel so good, though she figured that it would come to her, in time.
I'm so fucking efficient, I can tease two ships at once. That's skill, kids.
For those playing the home game, if you remember, the show kind of...skimmed over the second chakra. That's because, to be blunt, it has to deal with pleasure, both sexual and otherwise, but a big part of it is sexual. Hence, why the chakra is located in the genitals; if you remember, this was the only chakra that the show didn't give a precise location for. I was going to write that, because I felt it was fair, but I felt vaguely uncomfortable, mostly because it seemed to be something this Korra wouldn't appreciate it. Plus, as I've said before, the reason I avoid explicit sex is because I prefer to leave it up to your imaginations. What turns one person on, disgusts another, and besides, being straight, I didn't feel like I could do that kind of sexual awakening justice. I've saw far too many straight writers write...unfortunate versions of gay people going through this, and at the end of the day, I'm too insecure to try. *shrugs* Hope you guys can forgive me.
Moving on! In the next chapter, I punch you guys in the gut. Stay tuned!
