Heaven Can't Wait- S9E6
Lily rubbed her stomach gently. Seven more months to go. Seven long months, but also seven short months. It would go by in the blink of an eye, but also take forever.
"Babe, you good?" Sam asked, putting a plate of breakfast in front of her. "You're staring off into space again."
She smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about the baby."
He sat down next to her. "What about him?"
"Just about how perfect he's going to be. Just like Gemma and Henry." Speaking of, Dean walked into the kitchen, Henry in his arms and Gemma trailing behind him.
Gemma ran to Lily's chair, climbing into her lap. "Mommy!"
Lily smiled, hugging Gemma around the waist. "Hey, princess."
"Breakfast looks good, Sammy." Dean noted, putting Henry in his high chair.
Lily let Gemma go, her daughter moving to sit in her own seat. Lily looked around the table. They were, in their weird way, a family. Her family. Kevin trudged in, hair a mess and he slopped down into a seat. "I hate that tablet."
"Sam, I've been thinking." Lily whispered.
They were laying in the bed, both kids between them.
"That's dangerous." He laughed quietly. "About what?"
She fiddled her fingers. "I'm tired of being here. I feel like a prisoner in this bunker. I want to feel like a person again. Like I'm actually a part of this world." He asked her what that meant. "I want a house. I want the kids to grow up having a semi-normal life. I want to be on the PTA and be in charge of bake sales and never miss a soccer game or piano recital. I want the kids to have friends that they can have sleepovers with. I want a job. I want...I just want, Sam."
He rolled onto his side, looking at her. "You're sure that's what you want?" She nodded. "Okay. If it's what you want, we can do it."
She sat up, eyebrows raised. "Seriously?"
He nodded. "Of course. You deserve everything you want and more. If that's what you want, I'm gonna do everything to make sure you get it. So tomorrow, we'll go find a nice place that's close by here in Lebanon. Somewhere with a nice school district."
She leaned over the two sleeping kids very carefully, planting a kiss on his lips. "Thank you, Sam."
He smiled. "I want something too, Lil." She smiled back and asked him what it was. "You. I want you to be mine again. I want you to be my wife."
He struggled to pull something from his pocket. It was a ring, a small diamond in the middle of the band. "Went and got it the other day. What do you say?"
Lily stuck her hand out, wiggling her fingers. "Yes. Of course I say yes, Sam."
"What do you think? It's a two story, four bedrooms, three and a half baths, a nice backyard. Wanna take a look inside?" The real estate agent had shown them three houses, none of what Lily wanted them to be. But she knew as soon as she saw this house that it was perfect.
Sam looked down at her. "Wanna see the inside?" He repeated the question.
She nodded. Sam pushed the stroller inside the house, Lily trailing behind him. They traveled through the house. It was perfect.
"It's great. Perfect. Everything is...perfect." Lily gushed. "We'll take it." They signed some papers, talked a little and then the house was theirs. Lily sighed, leaning her head on Sam's shoulder. "I didn't even asked you if you liked the house." She whispered.
He chuckled. "It's perfect for us. The boys can share a room so Dean has a place to stay if he wants."
Lily rubbed her stomach. Home. This was home now. This was the house where her children would grow up, where she would grow old with Sam.
"Well, let's go home and start packing." Sam said.
She pursed her lips. "There's something else I want to do first. Can we stop by the courthouse?" He asked what for. She only smiled.
An hour later, Henry's last name was changed from Rockefeller to Winchester. Sam was thoroughly surprised at Lily's decision.
"Soon, we're all going to be Winchesters. I don't want Henry being the odd one out." She explained. The idea of re-taking the last name she knew she was meant to have made her giddy. She had been, always in her heart, been a Winchester. Ever since she met Sam, at least.
Sam's phone rang. He walked away to answer it, leaving his family at the small booth at the diner they were currently occupying.
"Eat your peas, Gemma. They'll help you be smart when you're older."
Gemma made a face. "I'm already smart, Mommy. I'm so smart that I knew it wasn't Daddy before you told me."
Shit. Too smart for her own good. Lily leaned over the table. "Baby, you can't say anything to Daddy, okay? He can't know. Promise me you won't tell."
Gemma promised. "When is Daddy coming back?"
Lily bit her lip, looking outside the window at Sam. "Soon, hopefully. Now eat your peas."
Sam came back inside, an exasperated look on his face. "Cas called Dean. He thinks he found a case out in Idaho. Dean went to take a look. So looks like it's just us and Kevin at the bunker."
"Sam! Did you already pack up all of the kids' toys?" She shouted. Gemma was in a desperate and frantic search for her favorite doll and couldn't find it.
He replied with a yes and she groaned. She looked over at Gemma and apologized. "We'll get it tomorrow when we take some stuff to the new house okay, Princess?"
Gemma frowned. "I want my doll."
Lily sighed, laying back on the floor. "Hey, you wanna see something a lot cooler than your doll? Do you wanna see your brother?"
She rolled her eyes. Gemma seriously rolled her eyes. "He's over there." She pointed to Henry, who was sitting in his bouncer happily.
Lily laughed, taking Gemma's hand. "Not Henry, silly goose. Your other brother. The one in my tummy." Gemma raised her eyebrows and nodded eagerly. "Close your eyes." Gemma did it.
Lily pictured Dean in her mind and heard Gemma gasp. "He's not a baby, Mommy."
"Next time you see him, he will be."
Gemma tugged her hand away. "Why is he bigger than me?"
Lily sat up, pulling Gemma into her lap. "A long time ago, before I had you, I was supposed to have a baby. But I lost him. Your Uncle Crowley is being really nice and letting us have your brother back. So make sure you say thank you to Uncle Crowley when you see him again."
Gemma nodded. "I still want my doll."
Lily laughed. "Okay. We'll get your doll."
Sam was bathing the kids. She was cooking dinner. In their new house. Lily's heart was nearly full. Nearly. Now if she could just have this baby.
Her phone was ringing. She answered. "Dean, what's up? I'm making dinner."
"This is weird, Lils. All these people...they were like, exploded or something. Can you come check this out?"
Lily stared into the pot of cooking spaghetti. "Uh, not really. I mean, we just moved into the new house and I'm in the middle of dinner. Sam's doing bath time so...I can try to help you from here."
She heard him sigh. "Right. Okay. Just uh, don't forget me while you're living the apple pie life." His voice was melancholy.
Lily frowned, stirring the spaghetti. "Dean, we bought a four bedroom house. One of those bedrooms is yours. You're family. We don't forget about family. And I don't just name my kids after anyone." She could feel him smiling. "So, what's up in this case you've got?"
He told her the details. Four low people, all exploded. Neighbors reported seeing a flash of red light. One of the victims had been using the suicide hotline. "Anyways, how's Kev getting along with the texts?"
She looked over at the teenage boy sitting at the dining room table. He looked worn and exhausted. Papers and tablets surrounded him. "Not well. We kinda need an expert or something."
"Well, we do know one guy..."
Crowley.
Lily hung up. "Sam! I'm making a run to the bunker! Be back soon!" She turned the spaghetti off and grabbed her car keys.
"Okay, Crowley. I need help on the readings Kevin is doing. So if you don't help me, I'll ruin you." She paced in front of the demon. He was chained up in front of her.
She handed him the papers. "I hate Elamite. You know that, Lillian."
"Read it. Now." She ordered him.
He tossed the papers to the floor. "Rather not."
She crossed her arms. "If you don't, we'll hand you to Abbadon. And she's a lot scarier than you've ever been. So read them." Sam's voice came from behind her.
She turned. He was standing there. Childless. Lily groaned and quickly walked to him. "Sam, you're supposed to be at home with the kids. Where are the kids?"
Sam smiled, kissing her forehead. "Upstairs. Don't worry. Crowley, get to work on those papers." Sam grabbed her hand, leading her up from the basement of the bunker. The table in the kitchen had spaghetti, salad, and garlic bread. "Brought you dinner." He whispered.
Gemma and Henry were already at the table.
"Sam, this is wonderful. Thank you."
The two of them sat down. Sam put salad on Gemma's plate and handed Henry a bottle. Lily smiled. This was happiness. This was her heaven on earth.
He wanted a phone call. To Abbadon. She knew in her heart that Crowley and Abbadon would never be a team, but still. He wanted to communicate with her for a reason.
Sam had tested him to make sure that Crowley actually could translate the papers and now they owed him a phone call.
"So, who's gonna open a vein up for me?" Crowley asked.
Normally, Lily would have done it. She could heal right after the blood was given. But she was pregnant. So she was a no go.
Sam grabbed the syringe from the table in the corner and rolled the sleeve of his plaid shirt up.
"No. Not you, Moose. I want Kev. I like variety."
Kevin stared, unblinking. "I have a weird habit of not giving my blood to people who kill my mom. Sorry."
Crowley leaned in his chair, saying he had nothing but time. Kevin jerked the syringe from Sam and shoved it into the vein on his elbow.
Minutes later, the blood was squirted into a bowl on the table. Crowley said the incantation "This is Crowley...yes, Crowley! Your king? Incompetent menaces...I want to speak to Abbadon...yes, right now...Immediately...Do not make me-." He stopped abruptly.
Sam and Lily looked at each other, both shrugging.
"What happened?" Sam asked.
Crowley looked annoyed and pissed. "They put me on hold."
Lily snorted.
Several long minutes later, he was no longer on hold.
"Abbadon, you broad. It's about time."
Lily raised her eyebrows. He had spunk.
"How in Hell are you, Crowley?" She heard Abbadon speak.
She sent Sam and Kevin to check on the kids. She stayed with Crowley. Abbadon was explaining how she was cashing in on deals early, doubling the amount of sales going to Hell. How she was tearing down Crowley's Hell to build a new one.
Crowley shoved the bowl away, blood sloshing as the call ended.
Lily raised her eyebrows. "Well, that was fun. Now, finish up those papers." She handed them back.
His eyes crammed over the papers. He looked up at her. "Spell's irreversible, Princess. Sorry about it."
Lily drummed her fingers on the counter. Sam had called to tell Dean about the spell. The kids were, finally, asleep. It had been a long night.
"Hey, I just saw something pretty weird." Sam entered the kitchen. She turned, eyebrows raised. She asked him to define weird. "I think Crowley's shooting up in the basement."
Lily laughed. "Okay. Well, if he has a problem, he has to tell us first. When's Dean coming home?" He said tomorrow. "We should actually have dinner in the house, then. A nice family dinner. It'd be nice."
Sam nodded, taking her in his arms. He kissed her forehead. "Okay, babe. Let's go to bed. Been a long day."
Yes it had.
"Gemma Reed! Come pick those toys up out of the floor right now!" Lily shouted. She waited a few minutes. "Gemma Winchester, when I said now, I meant it!" Sam laughed from beside her. Lily sighed. "Watch the food." She told him. She went to the living room. Gemma's toys littered the floor, from Barbie's to play dresses. Lily closed her eyes.
"Sorry, Mommy. I'll clean it up." Gemma came running into the living room. Lily opened her eyes, nodding. But Gemma never sat down to put her toys in the toy chest. All she did was twitch her fingers and the toys moved from the floor into the chest. "I did it, Mommy. Did I do a good job?"
Lily stood, mouth open. "Uh, yeah. Sure, baby. Just...just wait on Uncle Kevin and Uncle Dean to get here while Mommy and Daddy finish dinner. And go check on your brother."
Gemma nodded.
By the time Dean and Kevin arrived, dinner was ready. Sam put Henry in his high chair and Lily put the food on the table.
"So, how was Cas?" Lily asked as she put food on Gemma's plate.
Dean shrugged. "Working at a gas station, trying not to get killed by all the pissed off angels running around."
Lily narrowed her eyes. "Language around the kids, Dean." Sam said softly.
"Pissed!" Gemma clapped her hands.
Dean laughed, shaking his head at her. "Don't say that, Gems. It's a bad word only grown-ups can say." He told her.
She smiled at him. "Okay, Uncle Dean."
This was the way it was supposed to be. All of them, sitting at a table, eating dinner. Lily put a hand on her stomach. Soon, it would be complete. She'd have her family.
"Lil, is that a ring on your finger?" Dean asked.
She looked at her hand, smiling. "Uh, yeah. Sam asked me to marry him. And I said yes."
Dean grinned like she just told him the best news he had ever heard. "Good. That's good, you two. World needs another Winchester in it."
"Two." Sam reminded him.
Dean said yes. "This world's gonna get even better with two Dean Winchesters."
"You're making me nervous, Lil. Chill out." Dean laughed.
She glanced around the dress shop. "I'm not nervous." She told him.
He raised his eyebrows. "I can see your hands shaking and it isn't because you're hungry. You just ate enough food to feed a small army."
She made an off-handed comment about being pregnant. "What if I don't find it? What if I don't find my dress?"
Dean wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "You will. Promise."
Two hours later, she knew the minute she saw it hanging. It was perfect. Her dream dress. She tried it on, just for good measure. Perfect fit.
"Lil? You gonna come out and show me the dress? I'm sure it isn't that bad." Dean called from the sitting area.
She pushed the curtain aside, stepping out of the dressing room. Dean leaned forward, clearly surprised.
"Well? What do you think?" She whispered.
He stood up, engulfing her in a hug. "You look amazing. Absolutely amazing."
Wedding planning was a bitch. She had to pick out flowers and colors. It was making her head hurt.
"Lil, it's after three in the morning. Why are you still up?" Sam's voice was groggy as he came up behind her.
She hadn't even noticed how late it had gotten. She'd woken up around eleven and hadn't been able to go back to sleep since. "Couldn't sleep. I figured that this stuff would tire me out and I could sleep after. So far, it's not working and I'm only getting stressed out."
Sam put his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them gently. "You of all people know that stress isn't good for you. Or the baby."
She nodded. "I know. I'm just trying to make sure everything's perfect. I mean, we're getting married."
He sat down next to her, pulling her into his lap. "We've been married for years, Lil. This wedding...it's just a way to show the world."
She turned her head to look at him. "Sam." She sighed. "I'm quitting." She decided.
He raised his eyebrows. "Quitting what? Because I bought you a ring and we're getting married and having a baby and we just bought a house and if you say you're quitting us, I'm going to tie you up and never let you leave." He laughed quietly.
Lily smirked. "Let me have this baby and you can tie me up all you want, Winchester." She kissed his cheek softly. "But that isn't what I meant. Not at all. I could never quit you, as you've seen. I'm going to quit hunting. I know that I've said it before but I really mean it this time. I can help whenever you need it, but not if it means going on the road. Gemma is starting school soon and I want to be here. I'll get a job, something where I can stay at home with Henry and the baby."
Sam rubbed her back. "Whatever you want, baby. I meant what I said. If you want to stay home, I completely support you. If you want to get a job, I'm completely for it." He put his hands on her stomach. "I love you, Lily."
She was freaking out. Freaking out was actually the minor definition. She couldn't breathe. Her head was spinning. Was her dress too tight? No, it couldn't be. It wasn't corseted and it had been fitted just days ago. It fit perfectly. Sure, a few seams had to be taken out but it had been fine last week.
She touched her stomach gently. She was already five months pregnant. A month ago, they had been told they were having a beautiful baby boy. There was a cork-board in the bedroom she shared with Sam, holding every ultrasound from all of her pregnancies. The most recent was the one she looked at the most that day. She could see the outline of her son's nose. That was Sam's nose. Of course. She wasn't even surprised when she had seen it first. All of the kids looked so much Sam. It was like he was giving birth to them instead of her.
She couldn't do this. She couldn't get married. Not again. Not after...not after Finn.
What if Sam got hurt like Finn did? No. She couldn't do it.
She tore at the back of the dress but it wouldn't come off.
"Lil, everything good in here?" Dean's voice wafted through the bedroom. She sat on the bed, taking her hair down from the updo it was in. She sniffled, wiping her makeup covered nose gently. "Hey, what's wrong, Lil? It's almost go time and you're crying."
Dean looked adorable in his tuxedo, his bow done tightly. She looked up at him. "I can't do this, Dean. I can't marry him."
Dean's face had surprise written all over it. He rubbed his chin. "Lillian Fitzpatrick, we've been waiting for this day for eight years. As in you two have been through so much shit I never thought we were gonna get here! He's downstairs waiting on you and so are your two kids. Now, tell me what the hell's going through your head."
She stood up and examined herself in the full-body mirror. Her stomach was stretching the white material, swollen and...beautiful.
Lily loved being pregnant, she loved giving life to another being. "I just...I can't breathe just from thinking about this. From being in this dress. The thought of going down there is scaring the shit out of me, Dean. I can't do it. What if it happens again? What if he dies?" Her sniffles turned into full blown sobs
Dean turned her around, wrapping his arms around her. "Hey, stop crying." He told her. "Pull yourself together, Lily." He pulled away from her, looking her in the eye. "Nothing is going to go wrong. I promise you. This wedding is going to be everything you've ever wanted and more. So, wipe your eyes, take a deep breath and let me walk you down the aisle because you look absolutely beautiful and I can't wait to see the look on baby bro's face when he sees you. All pregnant and dressed in white."
Lily couldn't stop the smile on her face. Dean always knew how to make her feel better. The anxious feeling in her stomach seemed to disappear completely. She nodded, slipping her arm around his.
He walked her down the stairs of her house and out to the expansive backyard that had been excruciatingly decorated for the wedding. White lilies lined the border of the yard, bright yellow chairs for people to sit in and sparkling lights hung overhead.
She took a deep breath as she walked through the sliding back door. Sam was standing under the altar, his tux fitted to his tall and broad body. Barely, just barely, she could see a glimmer of white glow under the skin. Ezekiel. Her nose twitched as she walked down the silky cream colored walkway. This was Sam. Ezekiel was underneath everything, working his angel hands to fix everything that was broken with Sam. Dean patted her hand as they arrived.
Sam's smile was everything good in the world. It was seeing Sam for the first time, his shaggy hair and kind smile making her finally feel human. It was hearing him tell her that he loved her for the first time, his smile nervous and hands shaking. It was finding out that she was pregnant again and Sam proposing- the first time. It was getting married in front of her parents. It was seeing Gemma, her brilliant green eyes making Lily cry after giving birth. It was seeing Sam again after he had been pulled from Hell. It was giving birth to Henry, his eyes the color of hers. It was seeing her son in Heaven, happy and...at peace.
"Sam, do you take Lily to be your wife, forever and for eternity?" The minister asked.
Sam took her hands. "Yes. Yes, of course I do." He breathed.
The minister turned to her. "Lily, do you take Sam to be your husband, forever and for eternity?"
Her heart was racing, threatening to beat out of her chest. "I do. Yes, always."
Sam squeezed her hands. "You may kiss the bride."
Sam pulled her forward gently, pressing their lips together. "I love you." He murmured. "Mrs. Winchester."
Finally. Again. She was Mrs. Lily Winchester again.
