Ok, this is definitely a personal favourite, so I hope you guys like it.
WARNING: vague reference to mature subject matter!!
You know, just in case any of you were worried...
For Your Eyes Only
Foaly tapped the screen with an agitated finger, 'Well?' he turned to his hirsute companion, 'Well?'
Mulch rolled his eyes, 'Keep your tail on pony boy, I'm digesting, I'm digesting.'
'Well, quit digesting and help me think of a plan. What are we going to do?'
'Some bleedin' genius you turn out to be. The going gets a little bit tough and it's Oh Mulch! Help me! Please, Mulch!' the dwarf adopted a twittering falsetto.
Foaly smacked him with a handy piece of expensive gadgetry that, under normal circumstances, he would never even have let Mulch look at. 'Quit fooling around, you noxious and obnoxious little sewage-guzzler! This is serious!' Getting a hold of himself, Foaly took a deep breath. If they were going to work together, he had to control his temper.
'Watch it horse-face! These hairs are sensitive field equipment!' Mulch also took a calming breath. 'Right, ok. You say this came off Holly's iris-cam from her last visit topside?'
'Yeah, she put the cam on two days ago for a run to Kigali and she's been in the field ever since, so I guess she must have forgotten she had it in. And I wasn't running her live... during this... er, because last night was, well, at least, it was supposed to be, just a bit of maintenance work and the ritual. Plus I thought she could do with a bit of down time after two days of live feed.'
'Shyeah, who wouldn't need down time after two days of you whinnying in their ear?' Mulch snorted, 'Not to mention it's understandable that she coulda been a little bit, heh, distracted by all that maintenance work, yeah?' he leered at the screen.
Foaly glowered, 'Not. Funny.'
'Aw, common, it kinda is... and, I mean, admit it, it's just the tinsiest bit cute, don't you think? Go on, not even a wee bit...? No? Fine, well, ironic at least, you've got to give it that. Though, can't say much for her taste, Fowl's skin is just so pasty.' He paused, eyeing the screen before wrinkling his nose and continuing, 'All of it, apparently.'
