My thanks to Sylvain for the beta work
Face to Face
Part 49
Aaron decided it was no good him just dithering on the sidelines, he was going to have to wade on in and try and calm things down. Stepping over to stand between Paddy and his mother, he said, "You both need to calm down, Paddy, you need to listen and Mam, well, you… you need to sit down." His mother looked to have her full quota of slap on, but he knew how pale she was beneath it, and he could see she was shaking. All this upset couldn't be doing her or the baby any good.
Steering Chas over to a chair, he made sure she was seated before turning his attention back to Paddy. "Paddy, please. You're always telling me to talk things through, that arguing gets you nowhere, so come on, let's do this the right way."
Aaron waited with bated breath, Paddy was still wild-eyed, was obviously still irate and looked more likely to storm off than stay and discuss the situation. But Aaron wasn't about to give up, "Please." That last word of encouragement seemed to do the trick because Paddy suddenly stepped over to the table, yanked out a chair and dropped heavily into it.
The couple were now sitting opposite each other, but avoiding eye contact. Aaron told himself that had to be better than yelling at each other. He sat down between them, beginning to feel like a referee... one not really up to the job! He wasn't sure how best to get a conversation going but thought explaining his involvement might help ease the tension a little.
Eyeing Paddy, Aaron said, "I can understand you being annoyed about mam telling me first, but then I can understand her coming to me about it too. She just didn't know how to tell you without hurting you, she was scared of your reaction, scared it would come between you."
"And she told you because you'd have all the answers!" Paddy spat scathingly at Aaron, "Because you're an expert on relationships, aren't you? Especially between a man and a woman!"
Aaron tensed, Paddy's comeback was spiteful and intended to wound, but he knew Paddy had to be really hurting to lash out at him like that, and so told himself to ignore the outburst. "She told me because I'm her son, because of what you are to me, because she knows I care about both of you..."
Snorting in disbelief Paddy jabbed a finger in Aaron's direction, "You were dead against us getting back together! You've not said a civil word to either one of us in weeks! So, why would she suddenly seek your advice on something so personal, something that should be between me and her!"
This wasn't about him when it all boiled down to it, but for whatever reason, Paddy was making it about him and he felt the need to defend himself, "I was wrong, I thought she'd hurt you again..."
"No, you were right. She has hurt me 'again'."
"See!" Chas exclaimed getting to her feet, "I told you how he'd be. I told you he wouldn't understand, that he'd hate me..."
"He doesn't hate you," Aaron insisted, his gaze moving from his mother to Paddy, expecting him to deny feeling that way. When no such denial came, he raised his voice, his tone a clear demand for an answer, "Paddy?" Aaron didn't know what to think when that got no response either, Paddy continuing to look down at his tightly clenched hands.
"I'll pack my stuff," Chas declared before making for the stairs.
"No!" Aaron was on his feet now, torn between going after his mother and knocking Paddy's fool head off. Somehow, he'd just managed to make everything a hundred times worse. What should he do now?
After a minute's deliberation, he sat back down, his gaze fixed on Paddy, "You're not going to let her go? Paddy, you can't! You love her, and what about the baby? It could be yours..."
"The baby is Carl's," Paddy said decisively.
Paddy seemed convinced the baby was Carl's, but there was no way he could be so certain of that, except if he and his mam hadn't actually slept together and Aaron was well aware that they had. It was as if Paddy didn't want to believe the baby could be is, and right now that didn't make any sense to Aaron. If he could just open his eyes, make him see that there was every chance of him being the father... "She's been with him all that time and nothing happens but as soon as she's back with you, she's pregnant! That's odd, don't you think?" It seemed odd to him anyway. "Paddy, the baby's got to be yours." The more he thought about it, the more convinced he was.
"Why, because you want it to be?" Paddy retorted, "Because you dislike Carl and can't stand the thought of it being his?"
There was no denying that, especially after his last betrayal, after him cheating on his mam with Eve. So far, he'd not run into Carl, but he was bound to see him at some point, and when he did, he wasn't sure he could keep his promise to Jackson and not punch his lights out... he'd been itching too, and even more so now. "Of course, I want it to be yours, but apart from that, I know it is." He did, something told him it was Paddy's baby. "Paddy, just think about it for a minute..."
"And let myself believe it's mine, you mean? Leave myself open to more hurt? No. I can't do that. You know Carl's not going to care about the child, he has little contact with the two kids he's got. No, he'll just use it to manipulate Chas and to get at me. He'll make sure the baby comes between me and your mum, if he can't have her, no one can. I can't go through all that, not again."
He could understand Paddy's fears, it was just the sort of thing Carl would do. But as much as he sympathized with Paddy, as great as the need was to protect him, there was someone else he felt needed protecting even more. "Then the baby will need you just as much as your own would, maybe even more... like I needed you to be a father to me."
"That was different!" Paddy insisted, pausing briefly as he struggled to get his emotions under control, "I want a child Aaron, one I can help raise, one I can love and nurture from day one. I want the baby to be mine; I desperately want it to be mine, but…"
"But what?" They were beginning to get somewhere, Paddy was starting to admit his real feelings, he couldn't let him clam up on him now.
"I just couldn't bear to find out that it's not."
"But letting me mam go, letting her walk out of your life, how's that going to help? I know you love her and that she loves you, needs you. Paddy, I know you're hurting and that you're trying to protect yourself from more hurt, but this isn't the way. You'll regret this, I know you will."
It was all such a mess. He'd never seen Paddy in such a state, he really wasn't thinking clearly, and neither was his mam. Both were giving up too easily on each other, on what they had together. He wanted to bang their stupid heads together, make them see sense... he could hear his mother on the stairs, "Paddy, please, you can't let her leave."
Aaron was certain if his mother stepped through the front door, she would never come back, that there would be no way back for her and Paddy, whether the baby was his or not. She wouldn't be able to forgive Paddy for letting her down, not when she needed him so desperately.
He watched Chas walk into the kitchen, her head held high, no tears in sight. He knew she was braving it out, that it was all show, that inside she was heartbroken, an emotional mess. She dropped her house keys onto the table directly in front of Paddy, making it clear she wouldn't be needing them again. As she turned around and walked towards the door, Aaron's attention moved to Paddy. He couldn't believe he was just going to sit there and let this happen, the Paddy he knew, the man he loved and respected wouldn't …
Paddy had just lunged to his feet, was now striding after Chas. Again, Aaron found himself holding his breath in anticipation of what was to come. He watched Paddy snatch the case out of his mother's hand, tossing it aside before wrapping his arms around her, telling her she wasn't going anywhere, that he was sorry, that he'd make it right, that he'd make everything alright.
As his mother sobbed into Paddy's chest, Aaron knew it was time for him to leave.
TBC
