I Love You

The thought and the meaning were there, burning under the surface of his skin, but Alec couldn't voice how he felt. Those three little words seemed to get stuck in his throat every single time, leaving him to say something lame and completely unrelated. Like "I hate toenails" and "Is it Thursday?". The worst part was watching Magnus's face when he almost said it. They both knew when it was about to happen. Something lit up the air, made the time right, let him know that it was time to say it.

And then he fizzled. Alec was the King of Fizzle.

Right then, sitting on a blanket in Shakespeare's Garden, watching Magnus read, Alec knew he had to say it. He felt the words burning a hole in his heart. It was late in the afternoon, warm, and for once Alec wasn't sneezing his face into oblivion. The time was right. The setting was perfect. The sun sprinkling down through the canopy of leaves made the air look almost green. A shard of light streaked down Magnus's face. He ignored it, too busy reading Camus or Twilight or whatever it was he picked from his shelf. Alec's textbook was open in front of him, reminding him that he had to study. But he couldn't. Not when he felt like this.

"Magnus?" he murmured.

Magnus looked up and smiled. "Yeah?"

"I..." He lost all of his nerve. "I like snow-cones."

The warlock nodded, expression quizzical. "I do too. Maybe we should get one when we leave."

Alec nodded and then swore at himself as he hid his burning face, staring blankly at the words in his textbook. Stupid, stupid Alec. Gut-less. Coward. You don't even like snow-cones. What the hell are you going to do if he offers to buy you one? Eat it? You're going to make a face when you eat it. Now you've hurt his feelings. Good job.

The murmurs of the Garden filled the gaps as they kept on reading, Alec continuously peeking at Magnus, who was so completely enraptured in his book that he didn't seem to notice. Those three words danced on the tip of his tongue. He mouthed them to his textbook, trying his hardest to give them a voice. It wouldn't work. Every time he tried his stomach flip flopped and he ended up angry and frustrated.

And then Magnus laughed at his book. It was almost inaudible - more of a snicker than anything. An unconscious gesture that lit up his face and filled the quiet afternoon with a short burst of music.

"I love you," blurted Alec. It came out a lot more forceful than he meant. Magnus looked up in surprise. "Completely. I love you completely."

There. He said it. A little bubble of nervous laughter made him cover his face with his hand.

Why wasn't Magnus saying anything back? The warlock stared at him like he'd just turned all of the roaches in his cupboards into adorable puppies with candy scented farts, but for once he had nothing to say. Suddenly those long arms wrapped around Alec's torso and his mouth was trapped by Magnus's own. Heat built up in Alec's chest as he kissed back, letting his eyes close. The air smelled like Magnus's detergent. He could hear nothing but his own heartbeat. A strange fuzzy feeling seemed to cover his skin, like a Snuggie or a hot bath. Time stopped. Noise stopped. He was dizzy, but in a good way. A relieved way.

"I love you, too," breathed Magnus as he broke apart. "Completely." And then he kissed him again.

Alec knew that the future was a confusing mess. He knew that nothing in his life could be as simple as kissing in Shakespeare's Garden on a warm afternoon. That wasn't the path he'd been put on. That wasn't his life. But none of that mattered. All that mattered was that moment, where he felt peaceful and wanted and loved. Where there were no closed doors and no painful secrets. Life would be alright if he could have that seventy second kiss. And the one that followed, and the one after that and after that and after that.

All that mattered was the love he felt, burning like a fire in the center of his chest.

FIN.


Sorry if this wasn't funny. I also come in sweet.

Num num sweet!